Rules Don't Apply
by Leah C. Drawn
Summary: Popular virgin meets smooth geek. "This is what happens when you throw a virgin a bone," Bella muttered to herself. AH, B/E, AU
1. Popular By Chance, Virgin By Choice

**Hello, my beauties! It's been so long, and at the same time, a really short time since my last story. I was going to publish this until I was completely done, but oh well, the festivities always get the best of me. Happy New Year! Also, not to brag, but recently I hit peak Twitter popularity for defending Twilight. Sadly, many of the counter-arguments were quite good so I partly admitted defeat. I'm sorry. P. S. I discovered this rock band called The Struts -if that's your kind of genre, I recommend it. I've been hearing them nonstop the last couple of days.  
**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

* * *

"You two… you _do_ realize that we're in broad daylight, right? And that this is _where I work?_ " Isabella Marie Swan snapped her teeth —kind of like a turtle— and narrowed her eyes at her best friend and his girlfriend.

"Oh come on Bells," Emmett McCarty gave her his most charming smile, once he'd torn away from the lips that had held his attention for the last, say, fifteen minutes. "You know Ali and I want to make the most of our last summer vacation together."

Bella glared.

"Em, you know I'm all for you and Alice being together, but looking at the two of you make out in Denny's is slightly nauseating, not to mention I can throw you out over it."

Bella wasn't sure she could, but she could bullshit her way out of any situation.

Alice pouted cutely, batting her eyelashes at her boyfriend's best friend.

"But Bella," she said, tucking her head under Emmett's chin to try and amp up the cutesy effect. "If not here, then where?"

Her lack of shame was, in itself, one of the things Bella loved most about Alice Brandon. That, and how she so easily kept the big oaf in check.

"Oh, I dunno," Bella rolled her neck, pointing with her chin at the children behind the couple. "Just somewhere that kids don't stick around. Like, McDonald's or something."

The three snorted; Bella was always so full of it.

"Careful B, or someone might think you're actually loyal to Denny's or something," Bella flipped off her chortling best friend, deciding not to trouble herself further for those two. They were beyond redemption, anyway. Besides, and she wasn't proud of it, Emmett had confided in her he'd break up with Alice before going off to college; she was going all the way to New York, and Emmett was staying behind in Arizona for college, as was Bella. More than not wanting to do the long-distance relationship, Bella knew that Emmett wasn't _confident_ about Alice not finding someone that suited her more than him in the big city. And that, Bella saw no way of denying: Alice was a very free spirit with her head in the clouds and in fashion, always looking for the next big adventure. Emmett was a family man who didn't see himself leaving the state, too attached to his family and friends. It was, in itself, a miracle they had lasted so long together; maybe it had been out of sheer stubbornness, or maybe they just loved each other that much, but when they'd started dating freshman year of high school, Bella had bet they wouldn't stay together longer than a month. Four years later, she'd been proven wrong over and over again. So now, she didn't really have it in her to make them break it up the same way she had over the years.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I've got other customers to attend to. Ones who'll actually tip," Bella turned her nose up, walking away in an exaggeratedly angry fashion and leaving behind an amused couple.

"The times we've tipped her she's literally given the money to her co-workers in our face. Does she expect us to keep that up or something?" Alice pondered, nonetheless pulling out a five and handing it to Emmett. He took it, knowing if he didn't his girlfriend would pull out his hair, and put it away for safekeeping. Even though they'd given up on giving Bella tips, they'd agreed to set aside five bucks every time they came to Bella's workplace; then, they'd split the money between Bella's birthday and Christmas and would buy her a shitload of comics. To her they'd give a couple each time, and to her mother a few more to give 'on her behalf' to Bella; then Emmett would sneak into Bella's room and hide all over issues in such weird places and at weird times that Bella could only assume she'd bought them and forgot. Possible only because Bella had one of the shittiest memories of all time; sometimes, Alice had heard her ask three times in five minutes what day it was. It was an awful lot of trouble they went through just to be able to give her gifts, but it was necessary; anything more expensive than twenty bucks was frowned upon heavily by Debbie Downer. And they wanted to give shit to Bella, who was constantly doing little things for them —like tending to them every week at her workplace for free. One time, Bella had even taken up the tab for them —though she'd never done it again.

 _"Emmett McCarty, listen to me," Bella had sat him down seriously, receipt in hand. "If I ever pay for any of your meals again, there are only two options. Either I'm about to get fired and want to give my boss the middle finger, or I killed somebody and need your help hiding the body."_

Yeah, she'd almost died a little bit back then.

But in any case. Emmett and Alice owed Bella a lot, and if leaving the restaurant so she could flirt with Edward Cullen in peace was a way to start paying her back, they'd do it.

It was the least they could do.

* * *

Isabella Marie Swan was born on a chilly summer night to a cop and a hippie in the town of Forks, Washington. Said cop, Charlie Swan, was shortly thereafter divorced by the tired hippie, Renée Higginbotham, who took their daughter with her to the hot-as-hell town of Phoenix, Arizona. This happened when Bella was three years old, so there wasn't much she missed about Forks or having her parents be together, especially given how Renée remarried two years later to Phil Dwyer, a baseball coach. From the time she was five until she was eighteen, she lived in the same state, in the same neighborhood, in the same house, which happened to be right next to Emmett McCarty's. This was to say, Bella and Emmett had been best friends for the last thirteen years —they bathed together as children, went to the same school and shared each other's first kiss, but… this was as far as the similarities went. Emmett was a linebacker for the football team —Bella had literally cried the last time anyone tried to make her exercise. Emmett had had a steady girlfriend for all of high school —Bella'd never had a boyfriend at all. Emmett was a genius at math —Bella had flunked Calculus. Emmett was an avid gamer —Bella all but inhaled Western comics. Emmett was popular by _choice_ … and Bella by association. Not that Bella couldn't have been popular on her own merit —she was the most beautiful girl in school, hilarious, genuinely cool, occasionally kind and incredibly interesting. The problem? She was also the greatest wet blanket known to man. Bella's first word ever spoken (true story) in this life had been 'no'. If everyone thought it was fun, Bella on principle refused to partake. The only thing she did was drink alcohol, and even then she didn't do it in parties or if someone encouraged her to. She was a strange person, or so said Emmett; despite her snark and overall Debbie Downer aura, everyone liked her. The same couldn't be said on her end, though, which was why she only maintained a handful of friends. Emmett had once confessed to her that he wished he could've fallen in love with her; that loving her had been even easier than falling in love with Alice, that she was the one person on Earth he couldn't picture not having by his side laughing until they were old and gray. That even _he_ thought she was more gorgeous than any other woman he knew, his girlfriend included.

The problem?

She was a B-cup.

That had been it; the whole problem had been her breast size, though what she lacked in boobs she made up for in ass. Did it matter? No. Did Bella remind Emmett she could've gotten breast implants? She did not. Not only did she not want to get surgery for a man, she plain and simple did not want Emmett. She felt the same as him —she, too, had often wished she could've fallen in love with him. She, too, thought loving him was as easy as breathing, and thought he was the most attractive guy in school.

The problem?

He was Emmett.

That was it; he was more than a brother, less than a lover. He was more handsome than any celebrity, he was really not her type. He was smart as hell but also not interested in the subjects she was always most excited to talk about. He was the best friend ever —but also not the boyfriend she wanted. Besides, the mere thought of kissing him made goosebumps break out; she didn't want to find out what her physical reaction would be at the thought of sex.

Bella loved Emmett, but just not that way.

She loved no one that way.

/../../

"Hey Edward, how's it going?" Bella smiled, setting in front of him his usual vanilla milkshake. He smiled back, thanking her.

"Hey Bella, pretty good. You? How's graduate life treating you?"

They'd graduated from high school last week.

"Pretty well, I'd say. I've taken up more shifts though, so you can pretty much find me here every day but Sunday." Bella said, not even bothering to lay down a menu in front of him; he always asked for the same thing, be it morning or evening.

"That's great! Me too," Edward said, referring to his job at Newton's right across the restaurant. He'd been working there for the last year, while Bella had been a waitress at Denny's since she turned sixteen. So for the last year, Edward had been coming in every Saturday at two o'clock on the dot for his lunch break, leaving after a quick meal. They'd become friends of sorts, much to Bella's joy and dismay.

Edward Cullen was their high-school's star track and field short-distance runner. He had unruly copper hair, bright green eyes, a crooked smile, sharp jaw, pasty white skin (impressive given that he all but lived under the sun) and Coke-bottle glasses that obscured half of his face. Up until junior year, Bella had pretty much never spoken to him; while he wasn't at the bottom of the food chain, his brand of athlete wasn't as appreciated as others. What was strange was that while both of them should've been popular by association (Edward's best friend was basketball player Jacob Black) Edward had remained out of the spotlight all of high school. This had made him remain pretty much unknown to Bella, who didn't make an effort to get to know anyone outside of Angela Webber (not popular, but another comic book geek), Emmett, Alice, Angela's boyfriend Ben Cheney and _occasionally_ , Jacob's girlfriend Vanessa Vaughn. How come they never met at parties? Easy: Bella never went. The only one she'd gone to in the last six years had been the graduation party, which had been a disaster.

But more on that later.

With Bella's inherent desire to not be put on the spotlight, and Edward's inability to join the popular crowd, the two had stayed apart most of high school. The change came from him starting to work at Newton's Phoenician Outfitters, and Mike Newton figuring a newbie joining was a good enough excuse to come barging into Bella's workplace seeking attention. The surprise? It had not; Bella had treated Mike as coldly as ever, making him retreat with his tail between his legs. Not that she felt bad; Jessica Stanley, his girlfriend, was a nightmare she didn't want to have. Edward, though, had come back; Denny's was cheaper than the other options, and besides, he'd liked Bella's efficiency. Over time, the two had developed a friendship of sorts; while they still never talked to each other in school, they started spending a few minutes longer chatting every time he went in for his lunch break. A few times Bella had taken up the bill for Edward, given how he only asked for a sandwich and milkshake every time, which Edward had graciously accepted. Apparently, though, he worked at a library a few days a week —so he'd be constantly lending Bella books that he thought she'd like. While he didn't really spend money on said gifts (which she had to return, obviously), it really meant a lot to Bella; it showed her he paid attention to her likes and dislikes, and also he saved her from annoying trips to shopping malls. Bookstores, she loved. _Getting_ to them, she abhorred. Last Christmas he _did_ buy her a book, though, and she got him a meal with dessert. So everything was perfect in her world, right? The popular, beautiful girl would eventually get the hidden gem, right?

Wrong.

Three months ago, Bella had finally learnt a key piece of information that she'd been too self-absorbed to notice. Edward Cullen's reason for even starting to work at Newton's? He got a girlfriend. Yeah, a super pretty, _super_ nice girlfriend, to add insult to injury. Kate Denali was Irina Denali's twin sister; Irina happened to be Lauren Mallory's girlfriend, the Lauren who happened to all but rule over the school.

But more on her later.

So three months ago, Bella had decided to come out of her bat-cave (read: school library) and eat for a change at the school cafeteria. She _never_ went there; crowds and her on principle did not mix well. She always felt stares on her, the food sucked and Emmett was always smooching with Alice; this decision to stay away had been made at the end of her junior year, when she couldn't stand it any longer. But on _that_ particular day Alice had been out sick with a stomach bug, and Bella had decided to brave the crowds in order to get some sustenance —she'd forgotten her lunch at home and her stomach had been grumbling loud enough to annoy every living soul in the library. So she'd decided to head over to the cafeteria, ask for the least poisonous-looking meal set and sit down with her bright-eyed best friend.

So the food had been ordered.

The tray had been taken to the 'popular table'.

She'd sat down next to a high-on-feelings Emmett.

And had promptly tried not to choke on her own spit when she'd seen Edward and Kate holding hands as they walked into the cafeteria.

In that moment, a flashback of the last, oh, nine months together ran through her head. How she'd taken every friendly sign as 'flirting', now that she had this key piece of information. How Edward had never actually done more than give her a brief hug for Christmas as far as physicality went. How Edward seemed like the kind of genuinely nice guy that could pay back kindness with books, which meant _nothing_ to him, unlike her, for whom the gesture meant a lot. Bella had wanted to scream at herself for her foolishness; _of course_ he wasn't interested! He'd never so much as hinted at being into her. It had all been _her_ misinterpreting nice acts for something more. She saw it then, with how _affectionately_ Edward touched his girlfriend and how much his eyes shone when she laughed. He hadn't been playing games or anything with Bella, stringing her along. He hadn't been aware of her feelings, and so had continued to be his naturally charming self. She saw it then, with how clearly he wore his heart on his sleeve for Kate Denali and how contained he seemed in comparison when he'd been with her.

Bella had started muttering to herself.

"This is what happens when you throw a virgin a bone," Emmett could've sworn he'd heard Bella mutter to herself, but he'd never confirmed nor denied.

Flash forward to now, and everything was a lot better on Bella's end. Was she over Edward Cullen? Well, no. Getting over your first real crush could be a bitch, especially when said person was so _good_ and you saw them every week. However, she'd learned to deal a lot better with holding her feelings in check, and also with learning to not dislike Kate simply because she was dating the guy she kinda sorta liked. She'd discovered, too, that maybe now it was time to start dating; she couldn't just wait around for Edward to become available. To become interested in _her_.

She needed to look for someone else.

Which brought us to now.

"Oh? What about your shifts at the library?" Bella asked, kicking herself internally. _You don't become less interested in someone by asking more questions, you fool._

"Oh, I had to give those up," Edward grimaced, looking obviously saddened by the fact. "The hours were good, and I loved it there, but the pay… not so much. And I think we can all agree everyone can do with some extra cash before starting college," Edward said, finally shrugging a little sadly. "Now I belong to Newton's for the rest of the summer. What about you? Why the extra shifts?"

Bella pretended to look for something in her pockets, knowing that somewhere Emmett was seeing her and laughing at her awkwardness.

"Um, I just don't like not doing anything all summer long, for one. And on the other hand I've got this conference I want to attend in San Francisco just before college starts, so I figure I could also use some extra cash."

Edward's eyebrows climbed up into his hairline.

"Conference? What about?"

 _Fucking stop it heart_. His clear interest, though, made it hard for her maiden hard to chill down.

"Micro-expressions," Bella said sheepishly, giggling at Edward's lost expression. "Um, it's like… You know in the shows, when they speak of tells people have when they're lying? Well, it's like that, but about a wider range of emotions."

Edward's interest amped up.

"Oh? So you want to study something among those lines?"

Bella shrugged.

"A little. I want to be a psychologist, so while it's not a requirement or anything like that, it _is_ helpful." It was nerve-wrecking to be so honest, but Bella didn't want to lie to Edward. It was strange that up until now the subject was coming up, but sometimes the things people prioritized in conversation were strange. Somehow, neither of them had spoken of the thing everyone seemed most willing to talk about these days.

"That's so cool. Do you know stuff about it already or are you going to learn about it for the first time in the conference?" Edward asked, sipping from his milkshake. He'd stopped asking Bella to sit down; her boss would murder her if she did, no matter how empty the restaurant currently was.

"I've read a couple of books about it, but I'm willing to bet it's different hearing Paul Ekman talk about it in detail than to read his book," Bella said, shifting her weight on her other leg. "What about you? You've never told me what you're gonna study."

All Bella knew was that they were both going to Arizona State University, and that Edward was going on an athletic scholarship because of his outstanding record in track and field. He'd never mentioned if that was what he wanted to do for a living, though.

"I didn't? I could've sworn I had, Kate says it's all I ever talk about," Edward hummed, and Bella felt her eye twitch. It seemed like he was just the kind of man to miss _important_ details. "I want to be an architect."

Bella felt her eyes grow wide; somehow, she _hadn_ 't seen that one coming.

"That's so cool! Did you always know that's what you wanted to be?" Bella asked, in spite of herself leaning against the table to get into a more comfortable position. But this was a huge breakthrough as far as her virgin heart was concerned —she knew something else about him!

Edward saw how excited his ex-classmate was, and chuckled about it. Somehow, it was kind of cool for him to know this side of Bella Swan, the most popular girl in school; everyone always spoke of how aloof she was, yet she'd always been anything but with him (barring their first interaction at the restaurant). She always greeted him with a smile, even when _he_ wore a deep scowl on his face, a gift from Kate or a customer. Outside of school, she was funny and interesting; inside of it, he'd always seen her be cool as a cucumber and the kind of unreachable beauty no one dared approach. Though he hadn't known she wanted to be a psychologist, he thought it really fit her; she was a great listener, and even more interesting to listen to. He really hoped they could become closer friends in college; he needed people like her in his life, the kind of person you were always in the mood to see.

"I did. Ever since I was like seven years old I was always more interested in the kind of roof a building had than the playground, which kind of tipped my family off. People always assume that I want to be an architect because of my mom, but I've always just felt that calling, you know?"

Bella was about to say something else when she heard her name be called.

"Gotta go, Edward. Your lunch'll be right out, though!" Bella grinned, and without giving him a chance to reply she skipped off to receive another customer.

/.../../...

"I just… I can't believe you're seriously asking me that, K." Bella heard Edward say, and because she was nosy as fuck, slowed down her pace. She was eavesdropping and she had no regrets. Hot lunch in one hand, heart in the other, Bella low-key hoped they were on the verge of breaking up. " _Of course_ I want you to come with me to the beach house."

… _And_ her hopes were shot to hell, given the sincerity in his voice. Rolling her eyes at herself, Bella approached Edward's table with enough loudness to let him know she was there.

"I've got to go, K. I'll call you when my shift is done, alright?" Edward said, seeing Bella approach in the window's reflection. He smiled briefly. "Love you too. Bye."

There was a moment where, when Bella set down the turkey sandwich in front of Edward, she couldn't fake a smile. She didn't _have_ to be in love with the guy in order to feel hurt when she heard those words come out of his mouth. There was just that one second where she remembered this wasn't a simple crush, and that she couldn't let her heart run away from her as she pleased —because she couldn't go all in with this boy, since he was a man in love and she was just a girl with a crush.

So Bella smiled, telling herself she'd find someone who could put her soul in a frenzy and that she'd be able to let herself be charmed.

"Lunch's out!" Bella said, placing the plate in front of him. She wanted to ask him what the vacation was all about —if this meant she wouldn't be seeing him one Saturday— but couldn't bring herself to. She couldn't even bring herself to make small talk. "Enjoy your meal, Edward. I'll be right back with your BBQ sauce," Bella said, knowing that he _really_ enjoyed the sauce.

"Hey, you ok?" Edward asked, suddenly frowning when he realized Bella's smile didn't look quite right. Bella gave him a quick, dismissive nod that reminded him of the time he'd come here with Newton.

"I'll be right back," Bella repeating, for a change not saying anything else. She left quickly, going to find one of her co-workers.

"Hey Missy, I'm gonna take a twenty minute break. Can you take care of my regular for me? I just really need a breather, and you can keep the tip," Bella said to the otherwise unoccupied Missy. She was sixteen and cute as a kitten.

"Sure Bella! Anything I need to know about him?"

Bella shook her head.

"Just that I promised him some BBQ sauce. You know who I mean, right? Table thirteen," Bella said, watching as Missy's face lit up with enlightenment.

"Oh! _That_ regular. I thought you meant the hunk and his girlfriend," Missy winked, laughing at Bella's disgusted face. "Oh, I'm kidding. I know he's your childhood friend."

"Might as well think of him as my _brother_ ," Bella shuddered dramatically, placing a hand on Missy's elbow gratefully. "Thanks Missy. I owe you one."

Missy waved her off.

"I've only got one other table right now anyway. No sweat," Missy said, watching as her co-worker left on what was probably a smoke break. Bella thought no one knew, but everyone was all too conscious of her nasty habit.

Skipping off, Missy grabbed the sauce and went over to the redheaded regular.

"Hi! Welcome to Denny's, my name is Missy, and I'll be your server for today! Here you go," Missy said, putting down the sauce next to the barely-touched sandwich. "Anything else I can get you?"

Edward blinked.

"Uh… Where's Bella?"

Missy put away her notepad, realizing this man wasn't going to ask for anything else.

"She's on her break. She said she was tired, so I'm taking over for her. I hope that's ok?"

Edward eyed the overly-chipper teenager, and though he shook his head and smiled his thanks, a part of him knew that… it wasn't ok. Bella hadn't seemed alright when she left his sandwich, despite the smile she'd tried plastering on.

His phone rang, Kate's picture appearing on the display. Answering, Edward forgot all about the waitress that had previously held his attention.

* * *

"Did you know?"

Bella paused washing the dishes, looking to her phone on loudspeaker.

"Know what?"

"That Emmett was going to break up with me," Alice said, and Bella almost dropped the plate in the sink.

"What?"

Bella heard a sob on the other end.

"Emmett just broke up with me, Bella! One week before he enters college!" Bella flinched at the pitch from Alice's tone, but couldn't find the right words to say. So she settled for the ones she thought were right.

"I'm so sorry, Ali. I really, truly am."

The sobbing quieted down.

"Did you know?" Alice asked again, this time in a calmer voice. Bella sighed to herself, shutting off the water.

"I did," Bella said, wishing she didn't. "I'm sorry. You know he tells me everything."

Alice had found that out the hard way, when Bella had let it slip once that she knew how many orgasms Emmett had given Alice during their first time together. Not that Bella had asked —in fact, she'd emphatically pleaded to _not_ know.

"I'm not surprised, though it hurts to know he planned it," Alice sighed, and Bella assumed the rustling in the background was of magazines. She was always reading them as reference material for her fashion obsession. "I can't believe he broke up with me."

Bella hurt for her friend, she really did. On the other hand… it was awkward, talking about Emmett. He was clearly Bella's best friend, and though she truly loved Alice… she didn't want to hear shit talk about him.

"Me either," Bella admitted, remembering how much she reeled after Emmett's confession. "If it had been up to me, he wouldn't have done that. But you know you can't change his mind so easily."

Alice laughed sadly.

"I know, it's one of the things I loved most about him," Alice admitted. "Should I not have called you? I'm sorry, I know it's unconventional to talk to your ex's best friend right after the breakup, but… I couldn't think of anybody else to call."

Bella's heart broke for her friend; Alice had moved to Arizona from New York right before high school started, and she'd never quite finished fitting in with the rest of the girls. She was the quarterback's girlfriend, and that had been pretty much the only qualifier people had ever used for her. The two girls had spent quite a lot of time together, and it was unfair of Bella to not recognize how enjoyable every moment with her had been.

"It's a bit awkward for me," Bella said honestly, knowing the pixie-like girl appreciated it. "But it's ok. I'm glad you called me, Ali. Same policy as always, though; I can't tell you anything Em confided in me about, just like I won't tell him anything you say to me if you don't want me to."

Another sob.

"Can you just tell him… I took it well? I don't want him to know how much it hurts," Alice whispered, bruising Bella's heart. Even now, what Alice cared about was Emmett.

"I can tell him that," Bella said, going to the window of her hotel and pulling away the curtains; she admired the San Francisco nightlights, only allowing her brain to play out a brief part of the conference on micro expressions from today. "And, Alice? You didn't hear this from me, but he thought you were too good for him. He knows his dreams might hold you down, just like my father's did my mother."

Alice sighed sadly.

"You know what the worst part is? You didn't have to say it for me to know it. That's just how long I've loved him."

Alice hung up, and Bella simply continued staring out the window.

/./

"Knock knock."

"You know, you could just knock," Emmett said, pausing the _Crash_ game and turning around to see his best friend appear. "Or, you know, just come in, since who the fuck knocks when coming into a tree house? That you _own_?"

Bella shrugged.

For as long as Bella had lived in Phoenix, she'd had a treehouse in her backyard which had been her and Emmett's hideout, and both held equal ownership of it. It was rainproof enough that he could keep his video games (Mrs. McCarty grew tired quickly of Emmett's shouting) and Bella could keep her comic books (not all of them —she had too many to keep in her room) without worrying about the elements. If you added to that a puff couch and blankets, you had the perfect room for two soon-to-be adults.

"I didn't know what scene I would find. My most worrying options were you jerking off or you crying. Either were equally scary." Bella admitted this with utmost sincerity, and Emmett flipped her off for good measure. "Seriously though, how are you? All you did was text me that you'd broken things off with Al. You almost scared the bejesus out of me when I couldn't find a single emoji in your message."

Another flip off.

Emmett _was_ notorious for his expressive texting.

Now that Bella was closer to him, she could see that his eyes were bloodshot, and that his shirt had that wrinkled quality that cloth got when you used it as tissue paper. It hurt her to see the big oaf so clearly heartbroken, and even more that there was nothing she could do to heal him.

"I just… couldn't agonize over it anymore. If I did it in the beginning of summer, there goes our last vacation before real life took over. If I did it _during_ college, Alice might've thought I was breaking up with her over someone else or because I'd, I dunno, done it with some sorority chick. I mean, there wasn't a _right_ time, you know? It's not like I was eager to do it, either, but… _God_ , Bells, I hurt us so much. She's my first love, you know? That shit doesn't just go away."

Bella and Emmett didn't usually have heart-to-hearts, simply because neither were the type to have them. Bella wasn't really in tune with her feelings, and Emmett was always reluctant to think about anything. That is to say, neither really knew how to pour out their feelings without cracking jokes or just switching the subject.

"Do you regret doing it?" Bella asked, sitting down next to her best friend. She put her arms around his chest, thinking in the back of her head it felt like hugging a wall. In response, Emmett put a paw over her arm.

"No. I'm not gonna say she was too good for me or some bullshit like that, but our dreams were too different —and neither should have to give up on theirs for the other. I wouldn't have been happy living in the spotlight all my life, I've had enough with football thank you very much. And Alice is going to be so successful there's no way to avoid _that_ with her. You know I've always wanted the white picket fence, Bells, and that's not an apartment in a stuffy city being hounded every day because of who my wife is. Or because of who _I_ am. I might be a millennial—" Bella was pretty sure he wasn't "—but that's not what I want, you know? Not right now, at least."

It was unlike Emmett to overthink anything. Then again, Emmett had seen first hand from Jason, his older brother, what it was like to settle on the big things and be miserable. His brother was twelve years older and got married quite young; then, to his shock, his wife had declared she wouldn't be having children. Ever. For nearly eight years Jason had stuck it out, until the depression had been too much and he'd gotten divorced. It turned out that he _couldn't_ be happy without that one precious thing, no matter how crazy he'd been for his wife. Like two months after the divorce Jason had knocked up one of his co-workers during a one night stand and, truth be told? Bella didn't remember seeing the older McCarty happier than he was now, with his fiancée and two year old kid. Turns out, some things you can't sacrifice despite how much you love the other person. For Emmett, it was his white picket fence, not unlike his brother.

"Maybe you or Alice could've changed your minds in the long run," Bella suggested half-heartedly.

"Unlikely. It's who we are —who we've always been— and it'd be unfair to ask the person you love to change for you if it's not what they want. So I'd be stuck, forever waiting for Alice to change her mind or vice versa. So no, I don't regret it. Neither do I regret our four years together, for that matter. She made me a better man than I used to be, and nothing will ever change that. But now, I think we've gotten to the end of the line. Who knows? Maybe years from now one will change their mind, and if we're both available we could get back together. Or maybe we'll both find someone who doesn't need us to sacrifice our dreams to be happy."

Bella lent a shoulder to her oldest friend, who slowly buried his face in her neck and let out heart-wrenching sobs. She let him cry it all out, and though she tried really hard, she couldn't help but cry with equal intensity. This was a man who always seemed to be made of steel, but at the end of the day, his heart hurt like any other man's, and his tears hurt as much as anybody else's. More, in fact, because he was someone who only ever cried out of laughter. Not because he was such a macho man or anything like that, but because that was just how fortunate Emmett was. How strong inside —and also, how unwilling to watch movies that had even one sad scene. He _hated_ Toy Story 3.

Neither knew how much time passed by, and neither cared. All one knew was their pain, and all the other cared for was the other's tears.

* * *

"Oh God, _why_ do we have class at 9 am?" Bella whined, letting Emmett drag her by the arm to their first ever class in college, English 101: First Year Composition. Even though they were both part of the College of Liberal Arts and Sciences, they'd chosen two wildly different majors. Bella, as previously stated, had picked Psychology (with a science focus), and Emmett had gone into Computational Mathematical Sciences. Surprisingly enough, they did share two other classes, which were Calculus with Analytic Geometry and another one about success in their department or some stupid thing like that. Honestly, Bella could've chosen another, easier-looking Calculus class, but the appeal of having Emmett in her class to basically leech off of had much more appeal. Bella had even tried getting Emmett as a roommate, seeing as they were both new residents at Manzanita Hall, but she'd instead gotten some girl from the same major (well, kinda; her roommate didn't have the science focus). Bella hadn't really gotten a chance to meet the girl, though; she and Emmett had moved in on Saturday, and the girl late on Sunday night; since then, either they'd missed each other or the girl was gone before Bella was even awake. Rumor had it she was an ice cold bitch, but then again, Bella didn't trust the sour-looking dude who told her this.

"Because it was either _this_ or 7 am class, and we both know neither of us would ever make it there in time." Emmett said, although this was mostly directed at his best friend. He had morning practice from five to seven in the morning, so he could've gone to class as early as eight; and he would, just not for the classes he wanted to share with his best friend. Bella was the antithesis of a morning person, and he neither enjoyed being in her presence before nine in the morning nor did he pretend to. It was actually quite impressive that she'd lasted like three years of high school going to work on Saturdays with a bright smile on her face as early as seven in the morning, and that she'd even done this for most of the summer. Bella Swan was a grump, but more than that, she was a woman willing to put up with anything for money. Well, anything so long as it didn't hurt her.

"I hate college," Bella whined again, dragging her feet. Emmett huffed, screeching to a stop.

"Will you stop bitching if I carry you?"

Bella gave him a blinding smile, immediately hopping onto her best friend's back.

"Giddy up!" Bella laughed, rejoicing as her old friend grabbed her legs tight and made a run for it; class started in five and they were a six minute walk away. He didn't want to run the risk of being left out, and Bella had short-ass legs with zero motivation to hurry. Giving her a piggy-back ride in a college campus, while slightly embarrassing, was wholly necessary.

"Yo, McCarty! You want to start college with a bang?" Mike Newton called out from the other side of the courtyard, and even from the distance they could see him leer.

"Shut up, Mike!" Bella hollered back, wincing when she got a little bit of wind knocked out of her when her chest clashed with Emmett's back because of the movement.

"Dick," Emmett muttered under his breath, and Bella said an amen in agreement. Neither were fans of a man who, despite having a girlfriend, pursued someone else. And Mike was also just plain old annoying, truth be told.

The two of them made it into class with two minutes to spare, Bella slipping down from Emmett's back just as they were about to step through the door. The two quickly scanned the classroom, aiming for a seat in the middle —not wanting to be too far back nor to be near enough to the professor to kiss their ass. They managed to find two seats exactly in the middle row, so the football player opened way and the smaller girl followed suit.

As soon as they sat down, the professor (a hippy-looking old woman) breezed in.

"Hello, hello! This is First Year Composition, correct?" Many voices answered yes. "Oh, wonderful. I accidentally went into another class for the 7 am class and I was about to give my syllabus to the Physics class. They almost threw me out! No phones, dear, please. It's only an hour of your day. What was I going to say? Oh, right! I'm Professor White, at your service. Now please, make groups of five. Chop chop! Time's-a-wasting!"

Groans rang out, but everybody started moving nonetheless.

"Hey. Got room for two people?" The girl beside Bella asked, motioning to herself and the guy next to her. Both of them had golden blond hair, though while the guy's was slightly curled, the girl's was long and flat. Their ice blue eyes also spoke of a certain level of blood relationship, although the guy's tight-lipped expression and the girl's more open one made it hard to tell.

"Uh, sure," Bella said, not nearly as willing to make new friends as this girl. "I'm Bella, this is Emmett."

The girl smiled, showing a much friendlier demeanor than the boy next to her.

"I'm Rosalie and this is my cousin, Jasper."

"Texas?" Emmett asked, referring to Rosalie's accent. Bella didn't notice, but Emmett saw how the girl's smile slipped a little at the question, and her eyes became a little harder.

"Yes, born and raised," Rose said, then changed the subject. "Do we have a fifth person?"

Emmett turned to his right and asked some dude with a man-bun, but he said he had a team already. Frowning, Emmett asked in the front and got the same response; Bella was about to ask in the back when the last voice she wanted to hear spoke up.

All her blood pooled at her feet.

"Can I join in?" Edward suddenly stood next to Rosalie, but he was giving his friendly smile to Bella. As always, he looked hot as hell. Coke-bottle glasses, styled copper hair, graphic t-shirt and jeans made up the only boy Bella had ever crushed on. Oh, and a crooked smile, which Bella barely returned.

"Sure," Jasper finally spoke up, and the four of them watched the redhead sit down on the free seat next to Jasper. Edward simply waved from his spot.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Edward Cullen," Edward smiled at the blond cousins.

"I'm Jasper, this is my cousin Rosalie," Jasper said with a Southern twang even more noticeable than his cousin's. "And this is—"

"We went to high school together," Emmett chuckled, extending a fist in greeting. Edward pumped it back, glad to see the big guy's friendly smile. They'd never been close, but Emmett had always treated him well whenever he'd come across Jake and Edward. "How's life been?"

Edward gave his easy-going smile with a little shrug.

"Same old, same old. Now _this_ lady, however, I haven't seen in a while," Edward accused, giving Bella the stink eye playfully. "You avoiding me or something?"

Bella gave him the 'how dare you insinuate the truth' look.

"I changed my shifts on Saturday, young man. I couldn't go anymore unless it was the second shift," Bella sniffed, so full of bullshit that Emmett had to hold back his laughter. But he did, and that was all she cared about.

"Shifts?" Rosalie asked, looking between the pair with a quirked eyebrow.

"I worked at Denny's up until a couple of weeks ago. Edward here was a frequent client since he worked a few feet away," Bella explained. She was about to say something else when Professor White shushed the class in order to move on with class.

"Alright, class, quiet down. Does everyone have a group? Yes? Perfect! These are your groups for the rest of the semester. Now, on to the syllabus…"

The rest of the class went on in a lull, everyone either too asleep or too bored to pay any real attention to the teacher. A few jokesters could be identified even from the first class, two dudes and a girl bantering with the professor and trying to diminish homework the most they could. When class was dismissed, Rosalie took the chance to pound on Bella —subtly, of course.

"Oh hey, um, Bella. Do you have class next?" Rosalie asked, tucking a gold lock behind her ear nervously. Rose hated this about herself —how she could have so much confidence at one moment, and then be afraid to make conversation the next. Instead of answering, Bella looked up at Emmett. He shook his head.

"I don't. What's up?" Bella hiked her bag over her shoulder, really careful not to look in Edward's direction. Everyone started slowly exiting the classroom, much to the displeasure of the people trying to get out behind them. Today, they were _those_ annoying classmates.

"We were about to go grab some breakfast. Y'all want to join us?" Jasper asked, looking at the three other people. Rosalie faltered slightly before echoing her cousin's question, this time amping up her confidence.

"I could eat," Emmett declared, making Bella snort.

"You can _always_ eat, you glutton." Bella rolled her eyes, but nonetheless answered the question. "Yeah, we're in."

"Who's the glutton?" Emmett muttered, grabbing her cheeks in one of his paws and squeezing. Bella gave him a dirty look, but the severity of it was hindered by how much she resembled an angry fish.

"Edward?" Jasper asked.

"Yeah, sure, I've got time. Where were you planning on going?"

Stupid ass butterflies were freed in Bella's stomach, which she was quick to squash down.

After a few seconds of deliberation, Emmett was the one who decided.

"How does Chompie's sound? It's like fifteen minutes away walking, tops."

"Chompie's?" The cousins and Edward asked. Bella and Emmett nodded seriously, each as gluttonous as the other.

"Breakfast there is like getting diabetes first thing in the morning. Glorious," Emmett said, putting an arm around Bella and squeezing. "We've been eating there ever since we arrived."

"I have a car," Rosalie offered hesitantly, showing her keys for emphasis. "I don't mind walking, but I know Jasper's got class after this, so…"

Bella's eyes lit up, and it showed.

"You've just earned yourself a spot in this bum's heart," Emmett chuckled, releasing Bella from his hold. "Not that she even has to worry about that. She's got class until four." Bella elbowed him for being such a snitch; he was always accusing her of being lazy, and even if it was true, he knew better than to do that in front of new people.

"On we go!" Bella cheered, skipping ahead and lacing an arm through Rosalie's. "So, Rosalie, right?"

"Rose," the blonde offered, and Bella took it. She never liked using people's full name, anyway… which was ironic, considering how infrequently she used one of Emmett's multiple nicknames.

"Rose, Rose, Rose… Alright, fingers crossed I won't forget. Rosalie what?"

"Rosalie Hale," Rose said, amused by the five foot three brunette. She'd seen this girl arrive on the big guy's back, and she'd thought it was funny how both of them seemed alright with the arrangement despite being in college (or maybe it was _because_ of college?). Rose could do with friends that had a sense of humor; her friends back home hadn't been all that interesting, and Jasper was quite the taciturn man. She loved him, but she also constantly wanted to choke the words out of him. "You?"

"Bella Swan," Bella replied, her eyes widening when they came to a stop next to a red convertible. "This is yours?"

Rose nodded, used already to this reaction.

"Shotgun!" Bella and Emmett called out at the same time. There was a pause, the two looked at each other, and then they made a run for it —they both made it at the same time, so they started arguing about who should get the seat.

"Are they always like this?" Jasper asked Edward, who was looking at the pair in amusement.

"Wouldn't be able to say, really. I was never really around the two of them at the same time," Edward said, chortling when he saw Emmett suddenly grab Bella like a sack of potatoes. He could see Bella's outrage even from her upside-down position.

"Ed, man, can you help me out? Will you open the back door for me?" Emmett asked, and even though Edward _hated_ the nickname, he complied if only to tease his friend. One moment Emmett was dumping Bella in the backseat, and the next he was sitting shotgun.

"Alright, we're ready to go!" Emmett cheered, and the other stunned passengers got in the car. Rose didn't even bother being offended over them deciding shit about her car by themselves, though she usually did. It was how much they'd amused her.

Bella fumed the whole (five minutes) way to the deli, arms crossed over her chest and glaring at Emmett through the rearview mirror. She hated being manhandled, and she'd felt some suspicious wind on her asscrack that made her fearful of having had shown her butt to the boy she liked. Nothing said, 'Woman you want to date' like an asscrack.

"Oh cheer up, Bells," Emmett chortled once they were seated in the deli, Bella and Emmett on one side, Rose and Jasper on the other and Edward at the head. "You know we'd never have left the parking lot if I hadn't done that."

"I am going to spray paint your Jeep in pink the next time you do that," Bella threatened, not aware of how the table was following the interaction with avid interest. Neither of them was ever aware; they were too used to it being just them.

Emmett shrugged indifferently.

"You've already gone through the purple and the green. Rick told me I have a 20% discount for the third time," he said smugly, outraging Bella and making the rest of the table laugh. Edward especially, who'd heard the tales told of how much the linebacker loved his car.

"How long have y'all been together?" Jasper asked, looking between Bella and Emmett. The two blinked.

"We're—"

"Oh, they're not _together_ together. Emmett's got a girlfriend. How's Alice, by the way? I heard she's in New York studying fashion or something like that," Edward said, not noticing the crazy eyes Bella made at him. She felt Emmett tense up beside her, so she put a hand on his knee beneath the table.

"Oh, I hear she's really enjoying the big city life. But they're not together anymore, so I'm not all that sure," Bella said with a strained smile, one that reminded Edward of the one he'd seen on her right around the beginning of summer. "And Em and I have been best friends since we were five. We live next to each other, so it was kind of inevitable." Bella decided to do a dramatic change in subject. "What part of Texas are you from?"

"Dallas," Jasper said, thankfully getting the hint that this was a sore subject. Rose was, for some strange reason, giving Bella a sympathetic look. She decided to ignore it, since she could already tell this Rose chick was weird. What kind of weird was yet to be seen.

The conversation went on from there, everyone trading off on the different lifestyles led by Texans and by Arizonians. Much to Rose and Jasper's relief, none of the three others made comments about Southern stereotypes or brought up anything annoying. By the time that they were done eating and Rose was taking Jasper back to class, the cousins were relieved to have sat next to these people.

"They're nice, aren't they?" Jasper asked, and Rose nodded. "You ready to go to your dorm now?"

Rose bit her lip but nodded.

"You think they told her anything bad about me?"

Jasper snorted.

"Darling, you nearly bit that dude's head off when he tapped you on the shoulder. I'd be surprised if this Bella girl _didn't_ hear shit about you."

Rosalie sighed, as always comforted by her useless cousin.

"I swear, Aunt Libby should've let you melt in the sun as a child."

Back in the diner, Emmett was in the process of inhaling a fourth donut when his phone rang.

"Hello?" Emmett answered, his mouth full. Bella shot him a nasty look, which he ignored but nonetheless grabbed a napkin to wipe himself off. "What? Oh, shit, I'll be right there," Emmett swallowed with a face that said he should've chewed more, then hung up. "Kids, I gotta go. Bells, can you foot the bill for me?"

Bella arched an eyebrow.

"Everything ok?" she asked, then crossed her arms. "Also, no way."

Grumbling, but expecting that, Emmett took out a ten just in case.

"Coach wants to talk to me. Dunno why. I'll call you as soon as I know. Laters dudes!"

Then Emmett left, and just Bella and Edward remained.

"Emmett's drained my wallet a few times with his eating. It's why I promised him I'd never pay for his food ever again," Bella explained, feeling like the response needed an explanation. "Though he still likes pushing me."

Edward chuckled briefly, and immediately after flinched.

"Sorry about the whole foot in my mouth thing about Alice. It didn't seem like Emmett was fine with it," Edward said, and Bella shrugged in reply.

"He's better now. Not great, but he's been slowly going back to his old self. It hurts me to see him that way," Bella admitted. Edward's eyes were sympathetic.

"Can I ask what happened?"

"Sure," Bella said, partly because she'd say anything Edward wanted her to, and partly because she knew Emmett wouldn't mind. "Alice wanted a different kind of life —not a bad one, just not the kind Em would ever be happy with in the long run. So before she left for NYU he decided to break things off. I think he just… didn't want to hold her down, or feel guilty towards her in the future. I hope that with time, the two can be friends again."

"Do you still talk to her?"

"Oh yeah, almost every day. I mean, she and Em dated for a long-ass time; it was nearly impossible for me _not_ to become friends with her. She's a great person, and honestly? I like her even more now, since she's not just 'my best friend's girlfriend' anymore." Bella finished the last of her strawberry milkshake, weeping a bit at it being done.

"I can imagine. Kate was always trying to get closer to Alice, but it seems like for some reason things never worked out."

Bella didn't reply to that. She knew the reason, after all; Alice had never liked Kate or her sister, thinking they were too fake or something. Then, when Bella started liking Edward, Alice and her fierce loyalty dictated that Kate could never be her friend. She wasn't mean or anything, just… aloof, in a way the bright pixie never was.

"How's Kate?" Isabella the Masochist asked, forcing a grin on her face.

"Great! She's in Northwestern right now; she wants to major in biology since she's aiming to be a doctor."

 _A fucking hot doctor. Fuck me._

"A doctor and an architect," Bella said, and left it at that. "She's quite far away, isn't she? Are you gonna be visiting each other?"

Edward grimaced.

"We're… kinda fighting about that. Maybe on Thanksgiving break, if she comes back to see her family, I guess. Thing is neither of us likes skipping class, and we both have classes Monday through Friday. So either one of us skips, or we see each other until November."

Her masochism was rewarded by the fleeting hope that there was trouble in heaven.

"How about you? Were you seeing anybody in high school?"

Bella couldn't help the surprise from showing on her face.

"Me?"

Edward shrugged sheepishly.

"I mean, everybody always kind of speculated about it. You never dated anyone in our school, so everybody thought you were dating someone from another high school or even from college."

Bella arched an eyebrow.

"I seem to be more interesting than I thought," Bella muttered. "But no, I wasn't seeing anybody. You don't meet a lot of people from the confines of your bedroom."

Edward chuckled, although he seemed skeptical of her reply.

"Weren't you dating James Hunter during our freshman year?"

Bella snorted.

"What? No, absolutely not. He spread that rumor because he wanted to make Victoria jealous," Bella said, dismissing the thought.

Edward distinctly remembered James bragging that he'd managed to crack the most popular girl's shell, and making quite a few comments that made it seem as though they really were dating. He'd heard that _Victoria_ had been after James since middle school, and it took a year after the rumor for the two to get together. Not that it mattered anymore, so Edward dropped the subject.

"Anyway, how was your summer? Did you go to the micro-expressions thing you talked about?"

Like seeing a light switch on, Bella's eyes lit up with excitement.

"I did. You wouldn't believe how amazing it was. If I had one more screw loose I would've stalked Paul Ekman until he gave me his phone number or something." Bella then went on to describe what she'd seen, seeming to forget all about why she'd avoided Edward like the plague all summer.

On Edward's behalf, he was glad that she was talking to him again. He hadn't seen her in about two months, and he'd had the distinct feeling that it was on purpose. He'd been worried (more than he cared to admit) that he'd done something to anger her, though he couldn't think of what; nothing about their last interaction stood out, other than the fact that for the first time ever she'd taken a break mid-serving him. When he'd insisted on seeing her, the chirpy waitress had told him Bella was on her smoke break —surprising the shit out of him, since he'd been under the impression that she was too… _something_ … to do so. Then when he'd spotted her entering the classroom, he'd been incredibly happy about having the opportunity to hash things out between them —not to mention, Bella carried a different air than she'd had in high school when she went in. More approachable in a way. He wondered why he'd never seen her be that way before. Now, speaking with her in an easygoing manner, he was relieved to find she was acting normal with him, even with him accidentally hurting her best friend. This made him hopeful that, perhaps, they'd be able to become closer friends during college.

"Edward! Where'd you go?" Bella snapped him back to the present, a blush spreading over her cheeks. "Sorry, did I talk too much?"

"No, not at all. Sorry, just got lost in thought a moment there," Edward reassured sincerely. Bella was usually a woman of few words, so seeing her go on with something she was passionate about made him glad. It helped that he found everything Bella said interesting, to be honest. He saw as more clients trickled into the deli, so he pursed his lips. "Wanna change venue? I feel bad about hogging the table when we're not eating anymore."

Bella looked around, and she saw what Edward had. Nodding quickly, the two paid what remained of the bill and left Chompie's.

"Wanna come to my dorm? It's like ten minutes away," Bella offered, not knowing what possessed her to offer. Wasn't she done with the masochist act already?

One look at Edward's bright face and she knew that she really wasn't.

* * *

"So, he was here until it was time for you to go, and even then he walked you to the classroom?" Emmett asked disbelievingly. They were in Emmett's room doing what they always did: he played video games and Bella read a comic. His roommate (some dude called Garrett) wasn't back from class yet, so they were enjoying the privacy by pigging out on Cheetos and gossiping. "Dude, he's into you."

Bella sighed in frustration; with Emmett, everything was always about that. She wanted to smack some sense into him, so she did.

"Ow!"

"He's got a girlfriend, remember? Whom he _loves_ ," the word felt bitter on her tongue. "Besides, he said he needed to pick up his bike since he left it there in the morning."

"He rides a bike?"

"Bicycle."

"Where's he staying at?"

"Hayden Hall. He says it's like 5 minutes away." Bella glanced at the corner of the screen. "Duck."

Emmett did, narrowly avoiding being decapitated by an orc. He fist pumped Bella.

"Anyways dude, did you notice that Rosalie chick was acting weird with me?"

"Weird how?"

"Like, she didn't want to talk to me. Nor did she want to talk to Edward, for that matter. Think she hates men?"

Bella rolled her eyes.

"Maybe she thought you looked like a dick, Em," Bella retorted, making her best friend laugh at the comeback. "I don't know. I mean, I guess I did kinda notice she mostly talked to me or to her cousin. What was his name?"

"Casper."

"Right, Casper," Bella said, though something felt odd about that name. She shrugged it off. "I dunno, maybe she's just bad at dealing with men. Did you see her _hair_ , though?"

Emmett nodded, but he didn't know where she was going with this.

"Fucking _gorgeous_ ," Bella admired. "I mean, just all of her. From head to toe she looked like an Amazon, don't you think?"

Emmett shrugged.

"Meh. Leggy blonde's not really my type," Emmett said dryly, which made Bella flinch when she remembered Edward's slip up.

"You know Edward didn't mean it, right? He really didn't know about you two," Bella said, even if she knew Emmett wasn't one to hold grudges.

"Yeah, I know, don't worry about it. It's just… it feels kind of, I don't know, _wrong_ I guess, to say Ali and I are over. It still doesn't feel all that true."

Personally, Bella thought they were both idiots. She had both halves saying, every week, that they missed each other. But it wasn't her business to press the issue further.

"Have you talked to her?"

Emmett nodded.

"I sent her a text for her birthday the day after. I didn't want to send it on the day itself in case it messed with her. You know how she is about her birthday being perfect," Emmett grinned, and _boy_ did they both know what a nut Alice Brandon was about her birthday. They both shuddered remembering the last festivity they'd been forced to attend.

"I'm glad. I think it's gonna take some time, but I really believe you're both gonna end up being friends in the future," Bella said honestly. Emmett didn't reply, but she knew he appreciated the thought. She was about to say something else when the door to Emmett's room opened, and in came Garrett.

"Oh, hey dude, hey Bella," Garrett greeted, surprised to find his roommate sitting on the edge of his bed and the girl sitting behind him with a comic book in her hands, a bowl of Cheetos between them. Garrett was pretty sure that the two of them were dating in secret, but he had no way to prove his theory. They were always either eating, playing a video game or chatting. That in itself was weird, because Emmett was a hotshot football player and Bella was his smoking hot friend. The laws of the universe dictated they be together.

"Hey Garrett," Bella greeted, actually glad to see the guy. She practically saw him as often as she saw Emmett, and she'd grown to like him quickly. He was an easygoing pothead who knew better than to offer her best friend weed, so she found him cool in her book. The one time Em got high, he emptied his fridge in just four hours —after that, not only had she never looked at him the same, he was banned by everyone from doing pot again. That, and it could put his scholarship in jeopardy and stuff.

"S'up?" Emmett greeted without ripping his eyes apart from the screen.

"How was your first day of college?" Garrett asked, putting down his bags on his bed.

"Good. Bella and I made it to our first class on time, which was nice for a change," Emmett glared at his best friend out the corner of his eye.

" _And_ Coach Clapp called Emmett to tell him he was starting in the next game!" Bella said excitedly, knowing how much it meant to her best friend to get the recognition.

"Oh? Are you gonna go watch him?"

"Of course. I wouldn't miss his first game for anything," Bella grinned at Em, who didn't reply but appeared to be suddenly too focused on the paused game. Emmett had always been too humble to do well with upfront praise.

"D'you like football?" Garrett asked her, taking off his shoes and lying down on his bed, beat already from the long day. The two friends snorted, one louder than the other.

"I know that Em's the outside linebacker and that everyone is always super psyched about the quarterback. That is literally all I know and all I'm _interested_ in knowing." Bella stated, grabbing a handful of Cheetos and stuffing her face with them.

"She still says goals instead of touchdowns," Emmett exemplified her ignorance, making Garrett laugh.

"Anyway," Bella sighed, closing her comic and licking her fingers clean of cheese. "I'm out, boys. I have class tomorrow at ten and need some sleep."

Garrett looked at his phone's time, confused.

"But it's only seven," he said.

"I've gotta hit the gym, then shower, then read more comics, then sleep," Bella lied, making the pothead nod in enlightenment and her best friend burst out laughing.

"What?" Garrett asked, confused.

"Bella's never set a foot inside of a gym," Emmett explained, disbelieving of his friend's brazenness. Bella flashed the two a smile and then slipped out of the room.

Whistling, Bella made her way back to her room, thinking about how glad she was that Emmett seemed to be doing better every day.

"If you wanna be…" Bella trailed off awkwardly, coughing like she hadn't been caught singing. The moment she'd opened the door to her room one Rosalie Hale had been standing in the middle of the room, and for the life of her Bella didn't know if this was where she was meant to call the police. "Uh… Rose?"

The blonde had the look of a deer caught in the headlights.

"Er, hey Bella. I… Uh, I'm your new roommate?" Rose flashed a nervous smile.

Bella blinked.

"What?"

"I mean, I've always been your roommate, it's just that I'd been staying in Jasper's room since I wasn't ready to live with someone I didn't know. I only realized you were my roommate until you told me your last name, though, so it's not like I—"

 _Jasper_.

"Rose, stop. It's fine. You don't need to explain yourself to me," Bella said, thinking it was a bit funny how much of a worrywart this girl seemed to be. "Do you snore?"

Slowly, Rose shook her head no.

"Well, I do. Sorry about that." Bella took off her shoes and started the search for some pajamas. She looked back at Rose, who was still chewing down on her bottom lip. "Also, you might want to know Crowley's been telling everyone you're an ice cold bitch."

Rose groaned, dropping like a rock on her bed.

"He asked me out the moment I arrived to the dorm. I said, no thank you. He insisted. I said no thank you again. When he asked me the _fourth_ time, I told him I wasn't interested in going out with him. He took that to heart, and now everyone thinks I almost bit his head off or something."

Bella laughed, imagining the beauty irritably being polite to a persistent dick.

"Well, at least you hurt his ego. He asked me out once and I told him I only date men smaller than me."

Rose's lip twitched; Bella wasn't the tiniest woman she'd ever met, but she was definitely shorter than average. Crowley, on the other hand, had to be two full heads taller than her roommate. Rose thought it was a great way to say 'fuck you no'.

"Speaking of dating," Rose suddenly said, sitting up so she could look at Bella, who was already decked out in a huge shirt that read McCarty in the back. "What's up with you and that Emmett dude?"

"What about him?" Bella asked distractedly, putting her dirty clothes in a hamper and taking out her clothes for the next day.

"Are you two really not dating?"

"I'd rather walk in on my parents having sex than ever date Emmett McCarty," Bella said seriously, settling on a pink shirt and mom jeans.

"I don't think you mean that. I've only known you for a day and already it feels like you and Emmett would rather die than be separated from each other."

Bella shrugged.

"He's my best friend. Always has been. I mean, he was my first kiss and I'm still suffering from the side effects. There's just no way either of us likes each other _that_ way. I love him, he loves me, but we don't like each other enough to fuck. That's pretty much it." Bella picked out some black Converse to go with the outfit, placing all of it on a chair. "Why so much interest?"

Bella saw that Rose suddenly got super red, and turning around with her eyebrows almost in her hairline, Bella suddenly started shaking her head no.

"No way. You can't _possibly_ be crushing on Emmett already. No, I'm against this."

"But—" Rose started whining, but Bella was really hearing none of it.

"No, listen Rose, I'm serious about this. I like you, and I want to be your friend. I also want us to have a good time as roommates. But if you start dating my best friend you'll tire me out —wanting me to both be your friend and informant. I've done it too many times to want to do it again, the whole befriending Emmett's girlfriends and being caught in the middle. I hate it, and I don't want to hurt you if you were ever to expect me to choose you over Em."

It wasn't often that Bella put her foot down on something, but she was sure about this. She hated seeing Alice suffer, and she really didn't agree with Emmett's decision to break up, but ultimately the person who would donate a kidney should she need it would be Em, and she would do the same for him. So having to be the middleman again was not something she wanted.

Rose pressed her lips together, dissatisfied with the turn of events.

"So you don't want me to go after him?"

Bella sat down on her bed facing the Southern beauty.

"Look, if you told me you _really_ liked him, and he liked you too, I'm not gonna put up any resistance. But right now, he's not in any state of mind to date, and he's not into the whole 'friends with benefits' or 'one night stands' kind of thing. I don't want you getting hurt either if he's not _into_ the relationship. So please, Rose, can you just… hold back unless you're serious about him?"

Bella felt shitty even saying it, but she didn't want to lose a potentially great friendship (which she deduced would be the case from the hour she'd gotten to know Rose) because of shallow feelings. Emmett meant the world to her, but she also needed new friends. Friends who weren't in love with her best friend, preferably.

"I get it," Rose said, and she did. Jasper went out for six months with one of her high school friends, and when things went to hell, her friend stopped talking to her since Rose refused to play matchmaker. And truth was, Rose just thought Emmett was hot —curly hair, dimples, bodybuilder body; he was exactly her type. Even personality-wise, she could tell he'd be great to be with. Right now, though, she cared more about making new friends and not antagonizing her roommate.

So Rose did what any good friend would do —she changed the subject.

"And also, what's the deal with that Edward guy? You seemed really uncomfortable around him."

Bella avoided looking Rose in the eye, fidgeting with her iPhone and setting the alarms for the next day.

"Oh, I was just surprised to see him. Like I said, I used to see him every Saturday until I changed shifts." Bella half-lied, not feeling close enough to Rose yet to say the full truth. She'd never even outright told Emmett she liked Edward Cullen, which was a testament of how weird it felt to say it out loud.

"I don't believe you," Rose said flatly, slowly understanding who this Bella Swan was. An open person was hardly on top of the list. "I think something happened with him that he's not aware of, but you're too aware about. Like he pissed you off or something."

 _Fuck, she's sharp._

"You're not gonna let this go, are you?"

"Not at all."

Bella sighed, figuring she should just rip the band-aid off.

"I… like Edward. _Like_ like him. But he has a girlfriend, so it's not like I can act on it." Bella collapsed on her bed, looking up at the ceiling. It felt like a small weight had disappeared from her shoulders; like admitting the truth was a little piece of relief. Even though she knew Emmett and Alice knew (and until now, nobody else), she'd never quite felt at liberty to discuss it. Now, maybe that could change.

"Oh! I see. That's… unexpected," Rose treaded carefully, not wanting to upset Bella. Truth was, she thought the brunette was out of the redhead's league —it's why the thought hadn't even crossed her mind. Bella had that 'cool' vibe going all the time —like she didn't care who she pleased, like she could wear whatever she wanted and look beautiful. It didn't escape Rose's notice that Bella didn't wear a stitch of makeup, and that she was somehow pretty enough to not need it… unlike her, who had a few skin flaws and eyebrow concerns she could only fix with makeup. Bella seemed to be the popular girl in high school that every girl wanted to be and every guy wanted to date; easygoing, beautiful, smart, loyal and serious. Edward, on the other hand… wasn't. He wasn't ugly by any means, but his Coke-bottle glasses, Pac-man t-shirt, tattered Converse, gelled hair and pasty white skin hardly spoke of any popularity. He'd been nice, but he'd also stuck his foot in his mouth at least three times in an hour, which was a feat. So, while Rose knew she'd been working on prejudices, she hadn't been able to help herself but to think the two were just friends. Maybe there was something about Edward that Rose couldn't see.

Bella snorted.

"Not really. I think if any girl were to spend more than an hour with Edward they'd see what a great guy he is. And his girlfriend is nice, to make things worse, so it's not like I can hate her," Bella sighed. Rose quirked up an eyebrow, although her roommate didn't see her.

"You think she's got something you don't?"

"Edward's heart, for one," Bella replied melodramatically. "And I think she's nice in a way I'm not, which is fitting for Edward's kindness. And cute."

Damn, she was starting to feel bad about herself.

"Bella… you do know you're _fuck_ hot, right?" Rose asked worriedly, for a moment wondering if this would be one of those 'she's beautiful and she doesn't know it' kind of situations. Which would be incredibly annoying. Thankfully, Bella snorted and nodded.

"Of course. Emmett tells me all the time. It also helps that men are constantly asking me out —I'd have to be seriously delusional to not think my appearance had anything to do with it." Bella pursed her lips, hoping she hadn't sounded arrogant. Oh well. "But I think beauty doesn't matter to me. I'm lucky to be able to think that, I know, but I just find it's not a part of who I am or who I want to be. I happen to be a lot of things —unsociable, geeky, stubborn, and a Debbie Downer among them— but beautiful's just never been something I've been interested in being. So I think I can't go liking people hoping my attractiveness is enough to lure them in."

Rose thought about how pretty people really _did_ have different worries from the rest. Rose didn't feel ugly by any means, but she also knew she had to work for her beauty a lot. She wasn't a naturally pretty girl, and that was fine on most days; she just had to work twice as hard at it. She also found this girl's approach interesting; like in everything, people could either use their virtues as sins or see them as inconsequential matters. It seemed this girl believed in the latter application of them.

"Well, I think you're nice. I don't know Edward's girlfriend, but I doubt she's nicer than you," Rose offered honestly, making Bella smile and thank her for the compliment. Rose found that to be a good trait as well —people who could take a compliment were hard to find.

"Thanks, Rose. I'm glad you think so, but I really think you'd have to know Kate to know what I mean," Bella explained, not wanting to put herself down and claim she was some kind of ogre when she didn't think she was. She just… didn't think she was as nice as Kate. And definitely not as important to Edward, although that was obvious.

"Well, you've got me on your side, Bella. I'll root for you, ok?"

Bella turned her head to face Rosalie, who was looking really pretty in her pink pajamas and blond hair in a ponytail. She looked like an Amazon alright, and it was beginning to seem like she had the heart to match. Bella grinned.

"Then that's all I need, isn't it?"

* * *

 **Man, that was a long one, wasn't it? Truth be told, this has been a really hard story to write. I've been at it since late May or early June (can't remember) and it took me like three tries and quite a few months to advance this story. I tried doing something I'd never done before, which was hard because what I usually don't do (in recent years) is overdone subjects heh, like popular girl-meets geek. Now that I've written quite a good portion of it I'm a lot more satisfied -I wanted this story to speak to all of us who've had an unrequited love come crashing down on us. Now, I'd never let you down so this is BxE, but bear with me. For those of you who've read The Road To You... you won't have to stick it out for _that_ long, lol.  
**

 **Thank you so much for being with me all these years, for reading and following my stories. Sometimes it's just all in good fun, other times I want to speak about something a little more serious. I've tried to keep this story more towards the entertainment side, but I'd never write something mindless or without a lesson to reflect on. For me, this year especially has been all about changes and amazing adventures -I managed to get one of my dreams done, which was visit Japan. I was actually working on ideas for a new story in the shinkansen lol. 10/10 would go back in a heartbeat.**

 **I also wrote a oneshot about YouTube culture (now _that_ one doesn't have much of a lesson), but I'm still debating with myself whether or not to post it. I did it while I was trying to get over my writer's block with this story, so it's a pretty simple plot all around, and there's a part or two I'm not sure about. Maybe I'll post it, but if not, I'm sorry to say this might be my last fanfic for a long while. I'm starting my internship (med student over here) in July, so I'll be quite busy this coming semester. (Or I don't know, maybe I'll be inspired during spring break and write out a beautiful one shot or something idk). **

**As always, thank you for reading. Don't forget to follow, favorite and review.**

 **Leah.**


	2. Head Below Water

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Also, I just realized there's a movie called Rules Don't Apply, and I feel a bit cheated. Doesn't matter that the movie came out years ago.**

* * *

Time went by all too quickly. Days turned to weeks and weeks turned to months, and before they knew it, everyone was back from winter break and back in the dorms. The first semester of college had been grueling; getting used to not living at home, to professors and campus life took a toll on everyone. In Emmett's case, he also found himself with the added workload of football, so it was harder than usual for his friends, Bella included, to get a hold of him.

Jasper, who ended up growing super close to Emmett (because of their shared love of video games), started spending an awful lot of time in Em's dorm room and, by proxy, Bella.

Rose had joined all the club and committee activities that she could fit into twenty-four hours, so even though the two girls grew quite close (more than either had expected), their socializing time was mostly at night before going to sleep and occasionally on the weekends. Rose had also gotten quite loose around Bella, to the point that sometimes Bella got surprised by Rose's bluntness —she wasn't mean or anything, but sometimes it startled her how easily Rose let her thoughts be known. Emmett on the other hand hadn't been adapting all that well, and adding to that a relationship would be the last thing anyone wanted.

As for Edward?

Fuck if Bella wasn't absolutely _besotted_ with him.

Everything he did had Bella giggling like a moron; he made a joke? Best ten-liner she'd ever heard. He put his foot in his mouth? She got it out. He answered a call from his girlfriend? She held his book for him so he could get the phone out without dropping his coffee. The stress was killing Bella, literally and figuratively. She'd never smoked more in her life, which sucked because she'd been meaning to quit during the first semester. She'd also taken to jogging every morning (to release her anger), which had all of her muscles hurting incessantly and her lungs screaming at her to stop fucking smoking. The first time Em had caught her going out to run he'd fallen on his ass in shock, not even jokingly. Even when they were kids Bella had never been part of playing tag or any game that involved the minimal amount of _moving_. Needless to say, Emmett had called Renée immediately and asked if everything was alright at home. When _that_ problem had been cleared ("What? Emmett, I don't understand what you're saying. _What_? What?"), he'd proceeded to hound Bella into spilling. She'd admitted that she still liked Edward, and that she was in too deep to be able to keep ignoring him. And he understood what she meant —Em had gotten to know the redhead much better, to the point where he'd called Jake up and announced that he finally understood what the deal had been with Ed (he was aware of how much the nickname was hated). Edward put his foot in his mouth at least once a day, almost always at his own expense, and he was loyal to a fault when it came to his friends and his girlfriend. Not to mention, any second Em wasn't with Bella, it was almost certain that Edward was. Sometimes it was just the two of them, other times they were joined by one of Bella's or Edward's new friends. They loved spending time together, and Emmett could see why his best friend was so troubled.

Though he still thought Kate was nowhere near as great as Bella.

* * *

 **Last year, June**

* * *

"You know what the greatest lie, historically, told by the American government is?"

"That the sitting president—"

"No, you moron," Bella glared at her super political childhood friend from the corner of her eye, not even turning away from the image she had her eyes trained on. Here she was, about to have a heart to heart with someone whose Twitter handle was WokeEmmyBear. What was wrong with her? "Historically. It's that whole lie about separate but equal. I mean, did any of those idiots even _go_ to high school? Doesn't even work at that level, how could they expect that to be true on a _racial_ one?"

Emmett grunted, displeased as always about where Debbie Downer was going with this.

"I don't know Bells, racism can really fuck logic up," Emmett said, pausing his game of Final Fantasy to turn and look at his best friend, who was sprawled on the puff reading one of her Western comics. "Bella, is this about the party?"

Bella scowled.

Of _course_ it was about the party.

In roughly three hours, Emmett would be hosting the graduation party, seeing as two days ago the seniors said goodbye to high school life. Obviously, it was Emmett's duty to host: he was the most popular guy, linebacker of the football team, everyone loved him and he had doting parents with a huge house. Bella, being his childhood best friend, had reaped the benefits of his popularity, being admitted into the in crowd herself. This didn't mean, though, that Bella truly _belonged_ there. She wasn't interested in being _in_ , this was the first bash she went to and she much preferred staying home reading _High Moon_ , a Western webcomic about werewolves, to going to a party on a Saturday night. Especially after Emmett got her the printed version, what with having spilled orange juice on her eleventh issue of _Weird Western Tales_ , right on her lovely Jonah Hex's wonderful face. Anyways, the real Bella was a wet blanket (so said Emmett) that had had the luck of being a charismatic guy's best friend and being blessed with the beautiful face to compliment him (so said her mother). Bella looking 'in' had made a whole world of difference in how everyone was ok with her being at the popular table despite only talking to Emmett and Alice.

Digressing. Despite how Bella was popular all through high school, she'd always been all too aware that the reality of things, had it not been for Emmett, was that she was always meant to be part of the normal group. Meant to be the aloof girl that skipped out on gym class and hid in the library instead of the 'badass that blew off classes' she was seen as. She'd never been meant to get to where she was, in all honesty, and she was fine with that. What she wasn't fine with?

The absurd segregation in her school between the popular crowd and the rest.

This had been blatant all through the last four years; sometimes subtleties like one group of people sitting at the back of the school bus during field trips and making all the ruckus, and other times glaring shit like the cheerleader (Siobhan) that refused to even _look_ at the marching band member besotted with her (Alec). So yeah, sometimes it was the kind of dumb separation and other times... other times, a couple of popular kids thought a graduation party 'for the in crowd only' was necessary. It wasn't unusual for the cool kids to throw a party and not invite the rest of the hierarchical pyramid —that was an age-old tale— but this... _This_ had been cruel. One moment, the whole senior year was getting ready to party hard at Lauren Mallory's house, and the next people like Angela were calling Bella, confused about the change in venue. Apparently, Lauren had out of the blew told everyone but a select group of people that the party would now be held in another person's house —but word got out that people like Emmett McCarty and Jessica Stanley had not gotten such a memo. A few calls later, Bella had found out that the likes of Lauren thought that a graduation party for 'popular people only' was necessary, so disinviting the rest of their class from her house without even letting her invitees know of the plan (or the supposed host of the new party, which did not exist). Nobody had been left unscathed from the stupidity; for instance, Lauren hadn't even discussed said atrocity with her girlfriend, Irina Denali. The issue with that? Kate, Irina's _twin_ _sister_ , hadn't even been invited to the new party. Neither her nor her boyfriend, Edward. Irina, devastated over her sister's mistreatment, had broken up with Lauren on the spot and let the story flood through the net. So now there was a broken-hearted (read: stupid as hell) host, no party and a whole lot of raging graduated seniors.

Emmett, though, had come to the rescue.

The day before, he'd suddenly informed everyone he'd be hosting the new party; they had to bring their own booze and every single person was invited. A threat also leaked out that whoever didn't go would be subject to a prank of Emmett's choice... which meant _everyone_ , even the recluses (Bella) would be attending. Originally, Emmett hadn't offered because he hadn't really felt like it, plus Lauren, the Queen Bee, had practically glowed with the thought of being the host. Now? It seemed like he'd always been the chosen one; he _had_ been the obvious choice, if not for Lauren. And now that _he_ was hosting, Bella was being forced to attend for a number of reasons. Being his neighbor and best friend was one. The threat of ten issues of _Preacher_ being burnt by a vicious bear was the most pertinent one though.

"Of _course_ this is about the party, you dumb sack of balls," Bella muttered, snapping shut the volume of _High Moon_ and throwing it at her best friend. It hit his shoulder and fell to the floor of his bedroom. Usually, they'd be in the tree house, but Renée Dwyer was mowing the lawn which, as expected, made a huge fucking amount of noise. So they had to settle for his dirty as hell room. "Also, Emmett you perv, you left your porn mags out again," Bella made a face, pointing specifically at the magazine hanging precariously from Emmett's nightstand.

Said man just shrugged the comment off.

"Dude, listen, what Lauren did was fucked up but we fixed it already, didn't we? There was no way I would've let that shit fly."

But Bella was relentless.

"When Angela asked me what was going on, I couldn't say anything. It wasn't until _Irina_ caught wind of what was going on that word got out. Isn't it fucked up that stuff like that could happen right under our noses without either of us knowing?"

Emmett nodded in agreement, but also flippantly. She'd been ranting about this the last twenty-four hours at the very least, and he was _done_ with the subject. Was it disgusting? Yes. Was it forgivable? Not yet. Was it time to let go for the night? Definitely. Right now, all they could do was have a good time —everyone could and should think about the underlying issues later. But Bella simply _had_ to own up to her Debbie Downer persona, didn't she?

The two old friends had always been this way —Emmett always all in and Bella always all out. Emmett would try and rope Bella into doing a hundred things and she'd agree to do _one_ (given enough time and motivation), on the condition that she wouldn't do anything asked for the next six months without repercussion. Emmett was an annoying little shit and he knew it —nay, he relished in it.

"Look Bells, again, what happened was cruel and shouldn't have reached the point that it did. I _am_ angry that Lauren managed to disinvite almost three hundred people without anyone else's knowledge, but all we can do now is fix it and have a good time, right? What good will it do anyone for you to still be this outraged? We did what we could," Emmett said, referencing how Bella had almost singlehandedly planned the whole bash. Not even Alice had been able to step in, and that woman _loved_ parties. Going _and_ organizing them. Despite how Bella had never gone to a party again once she'd turned twelve, somehow her planning had been so flawless that Alice hadn't changed a single thing (alright fine, the playlist). Bella had credited the success to learning from TV, comics, overhearing stuff all of high school and finally, winging it. Mostly winging it, but she never would've admitted that, especially not to an individual like Alice Brandon.

"I just feel like this shouldn't have happened at all. We missed it, Em, especially because though everyone officially disavowed Lauren I know that more than a handful of people don't actually disagree with what she did."

Emmett munched down on some Cheetos.

"Look Bell, we can't always be held accountable for other people's actions. _We_ didn't have the stupid idea and _we_ aren't congratulating Lauren or anything." Emmett pointed at Bella with one of the cheese sticks, and in doing so looked incredibly not qualified to make such commentary.

"No, of course we can't," Bella agreed, knowing that she wasn't conveying her point well enough. "But _we_ didn't stop that kind of behavior back when it started. This is hardly the first time in our high school history that the popular crowd disinvites people who aren't in the cheering squad or a sports team, but it _is_ the first time we've done something about it. I just can't believe it took us this long to stop ignoring it, you know? How many people have been hurt because of _our_ laziness and lack of empathy?"

Emmett restarted his Final Fantasy game, unable to handle a Bella that argued like... well, like him. It wasn't like her to call for accountability, and it was freaking him out a bit. So he did what he did best: he ended the conversation.

"Well, the only thing left is to not be the same in college, B. And to change things when we disagree with them. Other than that, right now all that's left is to enjoy the party."

Grumbling, Bella agreed. She got up, picked up her comic book and plopped back down.

"Also, you've had a booger hanging from your nose for the last four hours, Emmy bear. Just giving you a heads up," Bella said, not looking up from the page where she'd left off. Emmet shot up his hand to cover his nose, finding his oldest friend spoke the truth.

"You bitch."

Grinning, Bella flipped her hair —and her middle finger.

-.-

"I can't believe you practically birthed this party and yet here you are, hiding out in Mr. and Mrs. McCarty's bedroom," Angela Webber leaned against the doorframe, watching from her spot as one of the most popular girls in high school hid out while reading a (probably Western) comic. There were three seemingly empty cans of beer by her bedside, which meant she hadn't left _all_ the fun downstairs.

"Ange! You found me!" Bella cheered, motioning for Angela to come in. "Close the door. I don't want anyone realizing there's a hideout spot."

Unamused, Angela did not oblige.

"Where are Emmett's parents?"

Digging her fingers into a bag of popcorn, Bella answered before stuffing her face with a handful of buttery goodness.

"Em's parents usually go out for dinner close by during his parties. It's their version of being cool parents that let their kid have fun, but still being worrywarts to their hearts' content." Bella shrugged, smiling at the thought of her friend's parents. "They're such nice people."

Emmett was such a nice guy that Angela had no choice but to believe her.

"Anyway, I came up to tell you that Ben and I are hanging out downstairs, should you find the desire within you to socialize. I _know_ , it's a long shot, but I just want to feel better about myself, alright?"

Chuckling, Bella forced herself to stand up instead of remaining laying down on her stomach. When Angela saw a bit better her friend's outfit, she had to hold herself back from shaking a fist in the air and asking God for a reprieve. Bella had sent her a picture of her look before the party started: Renée Dwyer's flamboyant palet and Bella's clumsy abilities had left her looking a bit like a sad clown and a lot like an over the top prostitute, which topped off with Bella's grandma-like dress, made for an image too good to not save the photo of. It was a given that a certain middle finger made an appearance in the picture, given that even she herself had known something was wrong. Then Bella had said that Alice would be fixing her up after witnessing the mess that she was, and the result now left Angela's ego a little wounded. A new outfit (long green t-shirt tucked into loose jean shorts coupled with Converse) and light makeup had made Bella into such a blinding version of her beautiful self that Angela questioned who she'd chosen to become friends with. Sometimes, Angela forgot just how much Bella's beauty hurt (her personality being a big help in that direction), but she was usually reminded when they went out together anywhere and men slobbered after her. The worst part? Bella knew and didn't care. To her, beauty was meaningless. She was passionate about being a psychologist; the mind was the only thing that peaked her interest more than comics. Being beautiful to Bella was as inconsequential as having two ears to most people; you usually took it for granted but would miss it if it was gone.

"I'm really glad you know that it was a long shot," Bella chuckled, about to say something when Angela suddenly sneezed like an old man saying Pikachu. Bella replied accordingly. "I choose you!"

This had become Bella's standard response to hearing her friend sneeze. Most people just frowned when they heard her, not making a connection between the sneezing sound and the reply. Thankfully, her friend had grown used to it.

Angela sniffled —not normally, but like there was a _lot_ of snot in there.

"I think I'm coming down with a cold. I couldn't miss this, but I think I'm gonna head out in half an hour." Now that she mentioned it, she really did look like death rolled over her. "Won't you come down and join us? Just until I leave, so Ben can stop worrying about me?"

Groaning at the emotional manipulation, Bella pursed her lips and nodded.

"Damn you," Bella muttered, putting an arm around her friend and tugging her out of the bedroom. "Also, get well."

Angela rolled her eyes, smiling as she and the hottest girl in school went downstairs to a party in full swing.

"Swan, looking good girl!" Bella heard, and following the voice found Nessa, giving her a sultry look. Behind her, an unamused basketball player had his arms crossed over his chest. Was that a pout? Grinning devilishly, Bella hooked her arm with Angela's and all but skipped over to the small group of people hanging out by the keg.

"Nessa! No straying, you hear? I can't handle the consequences of stealing a jock's girl," Bella winked, letting go of Angela to hug Vanessa and Jake. Angela just waved, not being used to talking to the popular crowd —besides Bella. "Nessa, Jake, you two remember my friend Angela, right?"

Jake, ever the charmer, quickly lost the pout and nodded.

"Of course! Reverend Webber's daughter, right?" Angela blushed a furious red but nodded. Honestly, Jacob Black was totally her type. "Tell your dad I enjoy his sermons. He's a funny guy," Jake said, giving a head nod in his girlfriend's direction. "I'm always trying to get this one to go with me but Sunday mornings are untouchable to her."

Nessa huffed.

"I just don't see why you have to go _before_ basketball practice." Vanessa grumbled, the crease between her eyebrows disappearing when Jake chuckled and placed a kiss on her forehead. Bella held back an 'aww', letting out only a small gag in the process.

"I'll be sure to pass on the message," Angela said, thankful for her classmate's attempt at making her feel at ease. She turned to Vanessa. "And I don't blame you for not going. I haven't gone to a Sunday service since I was eleven and rebelled against my father on the grounds of wanting to sleep more on the weekends."

Triumphant, Vanessa preened.

"Thanks, Ange. Ya see, you big lug? _Perfectly_ normal to not go," Vanessa turned her nose up, giggling when Jake just returned to pouting. "Also, Bells, we wanted to say that you did a great job with the party. Em told us you were the mastermind behind this?"

Proud, Bella pretended to bow and wipe away a tear.

"So that ass is actually giving me credit? I thought I'd have to staple all over the party posters that said 'Produced by Bella Swan and hosted by Emmett McCarty'." Bella joked, the snark on her tone fading as a real smile unfolded on her face, stunning everyone around her in the process. "But thanks, Ness. I felt like I needed to make up for the bad memories many people will have about the days leading up to this party."

Angela pursed her lips in dissatisfaction, crossing her arms over her chest as she did. She'd told Bella many times already to let it go; that she in no way was to blame, that nobody thought so. That she shouldn't be held responsible for Lauren Mallory's atrocious personality. Angela remained silent, though; she'd protested this point of view enough times to feel the need to speak up again in vain. Now, all that was left was for Bella to come to this realization herself.

Nessa and Jake, though, just shrugged off the comment —they didn't know Bella well enough to know she was seriously assuming responsibility.

"It's a shame you never organized other parties. Maybe we'll leave the ten year reunion to you?" Nessa winked, about to say something else when a loud shout interrupted her. She frowned, looking behind Bella's shoulder. "What the—"

Everyone turned around to see what was going on.

Lauren was standing in the middle of the living room having what seemed to be a shouting match with Kate Denali. Lauren was being held back by her ex, Irina, while Kate's boyfriend held her back by the waist in an attempt to maintain the peace. Edward didn't seem all that happy about having to hold back his girl, though, if the fierce scowl on his face was of any indication.

Ever the worried host, Bella approached the riot worriedly.

"—the _guts_ to even come here, Lauren, after what you did to everyone!" Kate was screaming at Lauren, who seemed unwilling to back down. She wasn't even struggling for Irina to release her, simply standing tall against her protester. It was one thing that Bella unwillingly admired about Mallory; despite her cruelty, she stood firm in her actions. She stood tall. Cruel and stupid as fuck, sure, but also consistent. Even in sin there could be virtue, and Bella found it fascinating that someone could be so shameless, prideful and yet, wrong.

"Well, I was invited just like you, Kate. I can be here, right, Emmett?" Lauren cast a calculating look towards Bella's best friend, who'd been in the middle of clinking a beer can with Alice. Like a deer caught in the headlights, Emmett just blinked. _Huh?_

Realizing her best friend was too far gone to answer, Bella wrestled herself into the middle of the argument, which miraculously hadn't caught _every_ party-goer's attention. While she did so, she accidentally gave enough time for Edward Cullen to redirect his anger towards the host's actions.

"Why did you even invite her, Emmett? What she did was fucked up."

Emmett swallowed a mouthful of beer, about to answer, when Bella made it to the middle of the argument. Already, Irina had managed to pull Lauren away a little further, trying to lessen the chances of a fight breaking out.

Bella decided to take it from there, directing her words towards the redheaded hothead.

"Because he's not petty, and if Lauren is shameless enough to come that's on her. Also, _I_ invited her, not Emmett, so whatever complaint you have goes through me." Bella spoke in a clear voice, not softening any blows as she addressed the woman in question as well. Huffing, that was the last of it for Lauren, who let Irina lead her out of the party quietly.

"You did?" Edward turned in surprise, letting go of a furious girlfriend who stomped after Lauren and her sister. More people stopped being interested in the argument, knowing that whatever drama was meant to happen had been dissipated already.

"I did," Bella raised her chin up defiantly. Damn it, she might've liked the guy but she wasn't going to let _anybody_ talk to her Emmy bear that way. "Some other complaint you've got about the party? I'm all ears."

Bella saw the exasperation grow on Edward's face. Edward's _handsome_ face, Bella stupidly let her heart sing.

 _Now's not the time for that._

"Edward? Babe?"

Crisis: averted.

(Or so she thought)

Bella snapped out of whatever trip she'd been about to take, turning to see as Kate Denali easily recaptured her boyfriend's attention. Then Edward released a butterfly-inducing smile, and Bella wondered for the nth time if she really couldn't just snatch Edward away and have her wicked way with him.

Bella shook herself out of it; still, it was just a crush. She didn't _love_ Edward Cullen. Liking and loving were totally different things. For instance, Bella didn't even know Edward's middle name. This was just proof of how superficial her crush was; she knew nothing about him except that his father was a well-known doctor, his girlfriend had a twin sister and he'd been captain of the track team since sophomore year, a testament to his talent. Oh, and about his part-time jobs. But that was it; nothing more, nothing less.

"Edward Anthony Cullen," Kate huffed, putting her hands on her hips. "Stop harassing my sister's friends already when they didn't do anything wrong. Please?"

Bella held back a groan.

"I'm not harassing anyone," Edward frowned, narrowing his eyes when Bella gave him a deadpan look. "I wasn't harassing you, I was simply complaining."

Doing her best to keep up with the attitude, Bella chose to instead focus on Kate with her reply.

"Look Kate, I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable by inviting Lauren. Since I'm of the policy that being happy is the best revenge, I figured letting Lauren see all of you unruffled by her actions would be the best thing to do. I never meant to hurt you, Irina or anyone else by inviting her." Bella did her best to give a coherent apology despite her tipsiness. Kate was gracious about it, and just gave Bella a little shrug.

"Again, you're not to blame. Sorry about this one though. He can be a bit over the top," Kate apologized, even elbowing Edward and whispering to him to apologize as well.

"Sorry Bella," Edward mumbled, running a hand through his hair and making it stick out a bit. "I just hate it when Kate gets treated that way."

Bella bit back the words she really wanted to say.

"It's fine, Edward. It's just _I_ really hate it when anyone says bad stuff about Emmett," Bella said, looking at him pointedly. "It's not _his_ fault Lauren's a bitch."

Shocked, Kate and Edward burst out laughing.

"What?" Bella asked defensively.

"I just don't think I've ever heard you curse after all these years of knowing you," Edward laughed, and Kate nodded in agreement.

"Oh," Bella mumbled, flushing bright red. She usually only cursed with Emmett or Angela; not that they'd know, because she stopped talking to either of them when they hit the age where kids learn curse words. "Well, anyway. Enjoy the party."

"Bella?" Edward called, and the brunette stopped walking away. She turned her head just in time to catch a panty-dropping grin. "See you next Saturday."

* * *

 **Present**

* * *

Thinking back to the graduation party, Emmett realized just what an amazing woman his best friend was. She didn't need to fight people in order to be heard, and she didn't need to make a show out of herself to defend those she loved. He'd been nearby when she'd been confronting Edward —not an easy thing to do, given how much she liked the guy— so he'd been able to tell how everything went down. The fact that he'd knocked out the last guy who'd commented on Bella's ass (which, in all honesty, _was_ a great ass) spoke of the reciprocal feelings of loyalty.

On Bella's end, though, things had shifted slightly.

She was at that point of liking someone where she was just _done_ with it. She still liked him, because he was _him_ and he was too close not to, but by now she was just pissed off with her own stubbornness and all the hidden cues she kept taking from him that she _knew_ meant nothing. It had gotten so ridiculous that, when Garrett asked Bella if she wanted to go out with him, she said yes for the first time in her life.

"Really?" Garrett asked in surprise. With his dirty blond hair tucked behind his ears, and the black beanie he had on coupled with his red cheeks from the cold made his question more appealing. Laughing at his expression, Bella nodded.

"Yeah, why not."

She didn't feel guilty accepting because Garrett was aware she had someone she was hung up on, but that she didn't want to stay that way. He'd been around during enough conversations between her and Em that he'd caught on, though she wasn't sure he knew who it was. Still, Garrett was cute, and he'd been quite nice to hang around with the last few months. Also, she didn't want to wait around for Edward forever.

"Cool! How about tomorrow at six?" Bella nodded, and the wide smile he gave her made her think it'd been the right answer. "Great, then. I'll text you!"

Then Garrett was off to his next class.

There was a pause, and then suddenly Bella felt a hand on her shoulder.

She jumped.

"Who the—" Bella turned furiously, about to chew out whoever had startled her —only to find Edward behind her. Her heartbeat didn't slow. "Christ, Edward. You scared the bejeezus out of me."

Edward gave her a little shrug, grinning sheepishly. It wasn't his fault; Bella scared really easily and after the tenth time apologizing he just didn't see the point in it anymore.

"Hot date with Garrett?" Edward asked.

"Oh..." Bella flickered her eyes in the direction Garrett had left in, blushing. "Uh, yeah. I didn't see why not."

Edward arched an eyebrow, skeptical.

"You entered and left high school saying no to every single guy —and girl— who asked you out."

Bella wrinkled her nose.

"You like Garrett, Edward."

He shrugged.

"I do. I didn't think _you_ did enough to go out with him, though," Edward huffed, feeling a bit cheated. He always vomited his feelings out to Bella (about his parents, Kate, the stress from college) but she was always quite closed off about how she felt with him. And he knew it was just with him, since Emmett was always saying that 'Bella cried with this' and 'Bella gets very angry with that'.

Long story short, he was jealous of Emmett's friendship with Bella.

Digressing.

"Well, I don't. I'm just feeling ready to start dating, is all."

Edward frowned in confusion, scowling harder when he saw her bring out her cigarettes.

"You mean you're only starting to date just _now_?"

Bella was about to light one cig when she took notice of Edward's flinch.

"Oh shit, sorry Edward, I forgot," Bella put it away, kicking herself. He'd asked her before not to smoke in front of him; he was sensitive to it, and as someone who liked exercise and breathing, he was really against being around people who smoked. "And I've never gone on a date."

Edward waited for her to laugh, but she didn't.

"Wait, you've never been on a date?"

Bella sighed, shaking her head no.

"Never ever. No boyfriend either in nineteen years of living, either, for what it's worth." Bella looked down at her watch. "Wanna grill me while I head to class?"

So he did. He asked her about all the different supposed boyfriends she'd had all through high school, and all the hearts she'd broken every time she'd turned someone down. Bella usually didn't know what he was talking about, to the point where Edward wondered if this girl had ever even paid attention to anything that wasn't a comic book or related to psychology.

"Alright, so riddle me this," Edward said defiantly, hitching his bag higher in his shoulder. "Why not? Surely it's not because you've got _impossible_ standards," Edward complained, still unable to believe Garrett of all people had gotten the ok. The dude had a weed plant he called Petunia, for fuck's sake. Bella rolled her eyes.

"I just wasn't interested, Edward. Not in people, but in dating in general."

Edward had just one more question.

"So it wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that you liked someone?" Edward asked, and when Bella shut up he knew he had the truth.

"Who..." Bella rolled her eyes at herself, not wanting to waste her breath. _Emmett_. "Yeah, but it was only our senior year. I didn't like him all four years."

Edward couldn't believe his ears. The most popular girl in high school had never dated, _and_ she had an unrequited love?

"Who?" He squinted, trying to read Bella's expression but finding her unreadable. "Emmett?"

 _That_ was clear disgust.

"No, never have and never will. Look, I liked the guy but that's done, alright? Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to—" and then she ran away.

...

"You're unbelievable," Alice snorted endlessly when Bella told her the story of her date. "You could've just lied and said it wasn't true. Or told him he was the one."

Bella scoffed.

"Quick thinking while panicking isn't exactly my forte, Alice Brandon. Not to mention, I'd bite off my own finger before ever admitting _that_ to a guy devoted to his girlfriend."

Over the winter break, Bella had grown even closer to Alice. Emmett had gone with his family to Belize, so while he was gone Bella invited Alice (who was home from New York) over almost every day. She was seeing every day either Alice, Angela or Edward. Sometimes all three, and those meetings were a hoot. She was torn between batting her eyelashes at Edward and hissing at the girls to leave her alone. Then, to Renée's huge surprise, a beautiful Amazon had stayed overnight at their place two days in a row. Apparently, Bella had convinced Rose to go back to college a couple of days earlier so they could socialize to their heart's content. Bella and Alice had picked her up at the airport, and Jasper would arrive on Sunday to pick up her car and drive it back to the dorms.

"I see now why Emmett has such a hard time letting go of Alice," Rose had admitted to Bella when they were driving up to their dorm. Though Rose hadn't been ready to admit it, every time she met up with the football player she liked him a little more. "She's really nice."

Much to Bella's pain, Emmett still wasn't ready to let go. Alice, at least, had gone on an awful blind date. Emmett wasn't even in that state of mind —he was always either too tired from football practice, up to his neck in homework or snoring the afternoon away. She'd thought he'd been getting better during the first month, but then he'd sort of relapsed. A couple of times she'd spotted him with Alice's contact open, about to hit call. She'd taken his phone away each time.

"Oh, always so righteous," Alice teased Bella, though in reality she _did_ admire this about her friend. "I'm always gonna remember though that you literally ran away from the object of your affections. What are you, five?"

Bella groaned.

"You're a mean one."

"I am when you need me to be. Now, show me what you're gonna wear for your hot date tomorrow."

/./../

Emmett wasn't in a great mood. He'd gotten chewed out by Coach Clapp, he had to read half a book for tomorrow and he'd spent half of his only class today searching for a new video game to buy, something which the professor noticed and kicked him out for.

So when he read Bella's text to come over to her room, it took everything inside of him to be a good friend and just do it. As always, she'd left the door unlocked for him when he'd texted he was near the dorms.

"Bells, what's this about—" Emmett trailed off when he entered and saw his best friend. Bella was in front of the mirror putting on makeup. She was even wearing a nice shirt and a long skirt, neither of which Emmett had been aware she owned. "Uh… Isabella Swan?"

Bella glared at him from the corner of her eye. She hated her full name.

"Close the door, you doofus." Bella said, standing up and running a hand down her skirt. "What do you think?"

"Gorgeous as always," Emmett said genuinely, rolling his eyes at her smirk. She knew damn well how attractive she was. "What's this about?"

"I've got a hot date in fifteen minutes…" Bella said, seeing how the jock's eyes widened in shock. "… with Garrett."

" _Garrett_?" Emmett let his jaw drop, feeling like he'd been knocked out. Had he heard that correctly? Was his best friend, the woman who'd once declared drugs to be the modern plague, really about to go on a date with a pothead?

"Indeed," Bella said, shrugging. "I got tired of pining after Edward. So, I'm gonna go out for once and just have fun."

There was something terribly wrong here.

"Bella, you don't _do_ fun," Emmett frowned, ducking when Bella threw a brush at him. "It's true! Not to mention, you and Garrett have zero things in common. What would possess you to say yes to _him_ , of all people?"

No idea, really.

"He was the first one who asked after my revelation, not to mention I'm not against going out with him. We're going on a date, Emmett, not getting married."

Emmett couldn't believe his eyes. Or ears. Or nose, because _that_ perfume had never been used before, either.

"What about Edward?"

"What about him?" Bella asked, annoyed. She went back to the mirror to see if she'd smudged her makeup. "I told you, I'm not pining after him anymore. I want to be happy, Em, and right now longing for someone who won't like me back isn't helping."

He knew she was right, but… He didn't want her to be.

"Bells, but…"

But Bella didn't want to hear it.

"Emmett, I'm not going to go out with him as much as I want to," Bella sighed frustratedly, putting down her lipstick. She made eye contact with her best friend on the mirror. "And _you're_ not gonna ask Alice to take you back no matter how many months go by. So move on, my friend."

Emmett wanted to argue back.

"What's that got to—"

"I'm tired of seeing you grow sadder and sadder with every week that goes by, Emmett! _You_ decided to call it quits. Either you're ok with your choice or you're not. Either you ask her to take you back or you don't. But stop moping around when Alice is out there living her life to the best of her abilities. If you—"

"I don't miss her," Emmett mumbled miserably in a small voice. When Bella asked what, he repeated himself. "I don't miss her. And that fucking _sucks_."

Bella's heart broke for him, the guy who'd always had her back. She wanted to tell him it was normal to not miss the person who'd once meant everything to you, but she couldn't because she didn't know if that was true. Even now she wanted to see Edward, and she didn't even love the guy.

All she could do in that moment was to get up and go hug her best friend in the whole world. Though she didn't even reach his shoulders (not _her_ fault he was 6 ft 5), she did her best to give him a hug that went around him.

"It's ok not to miss her," Bella said. "And whether or not you want to date right now is up to you. All I want is for my best friend to be happy. Wether or not you're ready to be with someone else is up to you."

"Does… does she miss me?" Emmett asked, hugging her back just as tightly. He didn't know which answer would hurt more, and he wanted to shield himself with his best friend.

Bella told him the truth anyway, since it was the first time he'd asked.

"Sometimes. Most days she doesn't, not anymore. But every once in a while she says she gets the urge to call you, especially when it's about something she sees that she knows you'd have enjoyed." Bella shrugged, pulling back enough to look up at him. "She just… misses you as a friend."

And somehow, Emmett felt that the answer applied to him too. It wasn't that he never thought about Alice, or that he didn't love her anymore. But he just didn't have it in him to pine after her the way he had during the first couple of months after the breakup, which somehow made him feel like a shitty person. He did still think about her —when he saw a particularly tiny black-haired girl, when he saw news about some fashion show or heard something about New York.

"I do, too," Emmett finally sighed, giving Bella a squeeze before totally letting go. "I don't think I've got the energy right now to date, but… I want to stop feeling guilty about breaking up with her."

Bella smiled at him, her eyes widening when she caught sight of the clock on the wall.

"Shit! I'm supposed to meet Garrett downstairs like, now," Bella rushed out, grabbing her purse and her phone. "Wish me luck, Em!"

She didn't even stop to hear him say 'fuck no' before she was out.

* * *

February arrived much too quickly for everyone's liking.

For Emmett, he started getting uncomfortable with the increasing female attention. Bella said that he'd been putting off some 'unapproachable' vibes the last semester, but that the girls had quickly caught on to the fact that there had been a change —though he wasn't about to start dating just yet. If anything, lately he found his eyes lingering on Bella's roommate a little too often for his liking; Rose wasn't at all like Alice, and somehow he thought that was great. Physically, they were total opposites —Alice was tiny, while Rose was whopping 5 ft 9. Personality-wise, they shared the fundamentals: smart, passionate with a sense of humor. But Rose's head wasn't in the clouds as much, and already he could tell they had a lot more in common when it came to interests. For starters, Rose actually _liked_ football. Wasn't crazy over it, but at least she didn't insist on calling touchdowns 'home-runs'. What's more, Rose got his fascination with cars —she herself was into repairing cars, a detail that came out when Bella regaled him with the anecdote of how Rose's convertible started releasing smoke and, instead of calling a tow-truck, had fixed the thing herself (Bella had walked to the nearest convenience store and bought chips while the blonde worked). Rose was cool, for lack of a better word. And crazy fucking hot.

But he wouldn't do anything, Emmett was sure. For one, Rose was Bella's friend, and _he_ was a firm believer in bros before hoes. Not to mention, he wasn't all that sure he was ready to get into a relationship again —and something told him Rose was the long-haul type of girl. Besides, Bella had asked him quite a few times to lay off of Rose, and he understood where his friend was coming from —he wanted to respect her wishes.

As for Bella and Garrett, things had been quite clear from the start that neither was going to fall crazy in love with the other. After their first date, they'd said it had gone 'alright'. Neither was nuts for the other, but they agreed to go on a second, then third, then fourth date. Both seemed to want to work things out because, truly, nothing was wrong with the other. But on Valentine's, as they were walking to the dorm, they finally decided to address the issue.

"I think we're better off as friends, Garrett," Bella finally declared sheepishly once they were about to go inside. "You're great, but I don't think I feel about you _that_ way… or that you see _me_ like that."

Garrett nodded, completely understanding what she was saying.

"I get what you say, Bella. You're super cool, _way_ cooler than I even knew when I asked you out, but… you're right. I don't think we see each other as boyfriend-girlfriend material," Garrett acknowledged. He pressed his lips together, and looking up from under his lashes gave her a little smile. "Besides, I kinda figured out who you like."

Bella paled.

"Uh…"

"Edward!" Garrett said, making Bella feel like fainting until she saw that he was waving at someone behind her. Feeling even worse, Bella turned…

… and found Edward walking hand in hand with Kate Denali.

Fuck. My. Life.

"Garrett, what's up?" Edward greeted, coming closer and closer until he was standing next to the couple. Bella finished turning and gave Edward and Kate a frozen smile. "Hey Bella."

"Edward, Kate, hi!" Bella did her best to act natural, but by Garrett's attempt to not laugh, she could tell she was doing terribly.

"Hi Bella!" Kate greeted her ex-classmate cheerfully, thankfully oblivious to Bella's discomfort.

"Kate, this is Garrett. He's dating Bella. And Garrett, this is my girlfriend Kate." Edward introduced, as always putting his foot in his mouth. Still a little high from his joint a while ago, Garrett shook his head.

"Nah, not anymore. Pleased to meet you though, Kate," Garrett said, shaking a surprised Kate's hand. Narrowing his eyes, Edward stared at Garrett long and hard. As if accusing him for shit going downhill.

Bella just wanted the ground to swallow her whole.

"Uh, well, Garrett and I are gonna head in. I'll catch up with the two of you later!" Bella gave them her best smile, grabbed her ex-date by the wrist and dragged him off.

"I can't believe you did that," Bella mumbled once they were back in Garrett's room, where he proceeded to laugh his ass off.

"You should've seen your face, Bell. You looked like you were about to faint!" Garrett snorted, and to her displeasure he even started crying from how hard he was laughing.

"Yeah, thanks to you. God, I can't show my face to them again. What were you even _thinking_?"

Garrett wiped his tears with the back of his hand, still shaking his head to himself in amusement.

"That that Kate chick looks cute and like she's about to break up with Wardo."

Say what again?

"C'mon Bell, she looked _done_ with Edward. I saw her before I saw our dude, and she looked _bored_ out of her mind. She goes to some fancy college, doesn't she? Northwestern? I just _really_ doubt she came all the way here, looking _that_ bored, to wish him a happy Valentine's. She's here to break up with him."

Sometimes, Bella forgot that Garrett was majoring in Neuroscience and was, therefore, more than just a pothead.

"I don't know, Gar, he's always going on and on about how much he loves her. Think he's gonna let her go so easy?"

"Well, I certainly don't think he's gonna _beg_."

* * *

"Let's break up."

Edward put his fork down to look up at his girlfriend. They were having dinner near the campus in order to celebrate Valentine's —today was their second year anniversary, and Kate had told him she could make it down to Phoenix for a couple of days. He'd thought it was strange, what with how adamant she'd been last semester that she couldn't miss a single day of school.

"Can I ask why?" Edward asked, sitting back to look at this woman he didn't quite recognize anymore. She just wasn't as cheerful as she'd always been, and when they'd said hello to Edward's friends and she'd gotten the cheer back briefly he'd been startled to realize its previous absence.

Now, Kate just looked tired.

"Because I'm not doing well with the long-distance thing, and _please_ Edward, I know you don't like it either. I like Northwestern a lot, and I'm happy to see you've grown to really like ASU. You have more friends here than ever, and you're doing so well in your classes. But I have less and less time for you every day, and you call me less every week. We just… don't click anymore."

Edward looked down at his half-eaten plate, wondering what to say.

"Edward?" Kate sighed, putting down her own fork too. "Please say something."

"I just… don't know what to say." Edward shrugged, not looking up to meet Kate's eye. He was confused about what to feel —and about what he wasn't feeling. "I just don't think anything I say will change your mind."

"You won't," Kate confirmed, quietly but firmly. "We've both known something was wrong ever since Christmas, Edward. We're outgrowing each other, and that's ok. It happens."

On Christmas Eve, the two had spent the whole day together… with nothing much to say. It had been awkward, and they'd ended up spending most of their time together watching festive movies to fill in the silence.

"I just…" Edward sighed in frustration, shaking his head at himself. "I can't describe it."

"I can," Kate said, eating a forkful of pasta. "We fell out of love, Edward."

The sentence shocked him, and he looked up to find Kate giving him a grimace.

"We did, Edward. You weren't excited to see me when I told you I was coming up. _I_ wasn't excited to come. We didn't even have sex during the break despite not doing it since September. We just… don't want each other anymore for no particular reason. I don't hate you. I don't suddenly dislike you. I'm just not happy with you anymore, and _that_ is what actually hurts me right now."

It was frightening how much you could love someone one day and then be indifferent to them the next. And that _was_ what had happened to these two —much as Edward didn't want to admit it, what Kate was describing fit him perfectly, too. He was just scared to end his first relationship.

"I don't dislike you either, K." Edward watched as his girlfriend kept eating her pasta calmly, and it was actually a little scary how easy she was handling the situation. Like he'd never meant anything to her. "Did you come here only to break up with me?"

Kate nodded.

"I'm sorry. I truly am. But I just didn't want to pretend everything was fine today, because it's not. My flight home is actually leaving in a few hours."

Edward laughed bitterly.

"So you really _did_ come here just to break up with me." Edward shook his head in amazement, taking off his glasses to comfortably pinch the bridge of his nose. He felt a headache coming on. "I mean, that _does_ hurt a fair amount, you know."

Kate didn't know what to say. Should she have been less honest? But she was just so tired of pretending, and of seeing _him_ pretend. Of hearing him go on and on about Bella Swan and how truly cool she was. Kate didn't hate Bella by any stretch —she doubted anything was going on between the two, for a number of reasons— but she couldn't take another day of her boyfriend raving about another woman. And this was Edward —he also raved about Emmett McCarty and his other college friends— but nobody got as much attention and praise as Bella, the most popular girl in high school. She'd heard Lauren bitch and moan to Irina like thirty hundred times about how pretty Bella was, and how she'd _kill_ to have Bella's body or hair. Even now, with Kate looking her most made up, she couldn't compare to Bella's natural beauty. She knew now, too, that the inside matched the exterior, or so said her boyfriend. And she was _done_ with feeling hurt over not being something out of her reach; she didn't want to be that woman, the one who resented others for having something she didn't. Bella was a nice person, and she didn't deserve Kate's resentment when she wasn't even interested in her boyfriend. And Edward didn't deserve to be resented for being naturally himself; she knew he didn't mean anything by his praises, and she refused to be that jealous woman. She felt annoyed with herself most of the time, to the point where she wasn't liking herself much these days. Enough that she felt she preferred breaking up with her boyfriend than to keep slowly but surely rotting inside. She wanted to feel good about herself, and that was becoming harder and harder.

"I'm sorry, Edward," Kate apologized genuinely, knowing she'd caught him off guard and that he wasn't necessarily the type to deal well with this kind of surprise. Maybe she should've eased into it, but then again, hindsight was 20/20.

"It's fine, Kate," Edward sighed, pushing his plate aside. He wasn't hungry anymore, but he saw Kate was finished. "You want dessert?"

"No thank you," Kate said, wiping the corners of her mouth.

"Ok. Let me take you to the airport then."

He did, and once Kate was gone, Edward went home to a life where he no longer had a girlfriend, and he was somehow ok with that.

* * *

"…"

"Hello? Bella?"

"Mmm."

"Are you awake?"

"Mmmmm."

"Wanna have breakfast? I want to talk to you," Edward said, looking out his window. It was eight in the morning, and he knew that Bella didn't have class until ten.

"What t…"

"What?"

Bella cleared her voice.

"What time is it?"

"Eight." Edward said, finding it funny just how raspy her voice was first thing in the morning. He'd probably woken her up, but he couldn't find it in himself to apologize. "Chompie's? What says you?"

Bella groaned.

"You buy breakfast and bring it to me. That's what I say," Bella moaned, startling Edward. That sound hit too close to home, and he had to remind his lower half not to react. "We both know that's quicker."

"Is Rose there?"

Bella cracked an eye open. No roommate.

"No. I think she's got yoga class. So, breakfast?"

"The usual?"

"My hero," Bella yawned, smiling into the phone. "I'll be waiting for you."

Then she hung up, needing a few more minutes to sleep. She stood up briefly to open the lock, and then she headed back under her covers.

Twenty-five minutes later, Edward walked into Bella's room, chuckling to himself when he caught sight of her. She was in one of Emmett's hoodies and curled up on a half-made bed, snoring softly to herself. Finding the sight too good to resist, Edward took off his shoes and climbed up to rest next to her.

"Bella." Edward called to her a few times, but she never reacted. Reaching over, he clipped her nose with his fingers, and she took a few seconds before slowly coming up from dreamland.

"Edward? When'd you get here?" Bella yawned, unfolding from her ball-like position and turning towards him. She didn't even bother opening her eyes. "Food?"

"On your desk," Edward chuckled. It always amused him how little Bella liked mornings.

"Thank you," Bella sighed, cracking an eye open a tiny amount. "What's up? What'd you need to talk about?"

"You and Garrett didn't work out?"

Groaning, Bella sat up and crawled over to her desk. She grabbed the paper bag and then sat her ass on Edward's stretched legs with her back against the wall. She was quite comfortable, despite Edward's complaint that it hurt.

"We didn't see each other as more than friends. You actually caught us the moment we decided that. Impeccable timing, as always, Edward," Bella laughed, biting down on her chocolate donut with gusto. "How about you? How was your anniversary with Kate?"

Edward stared up at the ceiling.

"We broke up," Edward declared. "Well, _she_ broke up with me, I should say."

Bella did her best to not choke on her donut. _Damn, Garrett was right. Also, I'm not meant to be so happy you psychopath._

"Oh my God, are you ok? What happened?"

Edward shrugged.

"I'm fine, I think. I kinda saw it coming. And we just… drifted apart. Neither really tried to make things better, either, so I think breaking up was the logical outcome. I'm just a little… sad, I guess, that this thing ended. We were together for two years, you know. And it was over just like that."

Bella refrained from asking him out right then and there.

"Are you ok with the decision, though?"

Edward considered the question.

"I spent the whole night thinking about it, you know, and… I am." He kept focused on a particular spot on the ceiling, not wanting to look directly at his friend. "I even called Jake to let him know, and you know what he told me? 'About time you two called it quits' and then he hung up on me. He never liked Kate all that much, you know. Neither did she like him, but I never really got why. I don't think I'll ever get it, either."

Bella _really_ wanted to bash Kate, but she knew she wouldn't. Edward might have broken things off with her, but that didn't mean he had any ill will towards her. If she started ripping into her, the only one to get out of it with a bad image would be Bella. And she _really_ needed that good look right now.

"Well, sometimes people just clash for no particular reason, you know? Like, at the beginning I _really_ didn't like Alice. I thought she only liked Emmett for his looks, and that she wasn't genuine in wanting to be friends with me. She just wore me down, I guess, until I was ready to accept her as a part of my life. Until that moment I found out what a cool person she is. Maybe Jake and Kate just didn't persevere long enough," Bella offered, still munching on her donut. It was too much sugar and yet, just the right amount.

"Yeah, I get you. But really, I never tried much to get them to like each other more. I always kinda just… gave up on the idea. Didn't want to push them, I think."

Bella considered what he was saying.

"I mean, yeah, but…" Bella stopped herself before she could say something negative about Kate. She sighed. "Anyway. What's the game plan now? Mope? Hit the track? Rebound?"

Edward wondered what Bella had meant to say, but figured he shouldn't press.

He considered her question seriously.

"I don't know. I don't feel heartbroken, but I don't feel happy either. Or like suddenly dating again."

Thank goodness.

"Well, I think it's normal to feel sad that a relationship ended. You were together for a long time, so it's logical you feel like this. Personally, I think you just need to keep yourself busy. Only time will tell how you really feel about this." Bella brought up her cup of fruit salad and handed Edward his. "Come on. Breakfast."

He sat up, placing his back to the wall as well. He felt like changing the subject, so he went back to something he was really curious about.

"So, why'd you end things with Garrett?"

Bella pursed her lips, taking a swig of the coffee Edward had brought. She decided to just be honest.

"We didn't really click. I mean, our dates were fun —as friends. He kissed me on our third date and neither of us felt inclined to do it again, so we didn't. He's just not really my type, and I don't think I'm his."

Which reminded him.

"Whatever happened to that guy you liked? Did you really get over him?"

Bella stuffed her mouth with food, blushing furiously. Fascinated by her reaction, Edward thought that Bella must've really liked this guy if she was still reacting this way. The thought, unexpectedly, annoyed him.

"I didn't. It was much harder than I thought." Bella looked down at her fruit salad, thinking it was a shame that Edward was so dense. Everyone already knew.

"Will you ever tell me who it is?" Edward asked, bumping her shoulder. Laughing softly, Bella shook her head.

"Maybe when I'm over him."

* * *

 **Phew, that's an action-filled chapter! Also, as always, bros before hoes. Funny story: In my country we've got a New Years tradition where we eat twelve grapes at midnight and ask for a wish with each one we eat. One of my wishes was for my flight home to be delayed -the college's webpage would open at 3 o'clock to register my classes for the semester, and my flight was almost at two, which meant the classes would be filled up. And then -it got delayed! Like five hours though, which meant I arrived home at midnight (which sucked). But I managed to do my schedule! Yay! Still a win in my eyes. Anyways, hope you enjoyed this chapter and that it did the first one justice. As always, thank you so much to y'all who take the time to review (and to those who wished me a happy New Years -as you can see, my year is off to a great start). Until next time!**

 **Leah.**

 **P.S. I realize a lot of you liked this Bella. I'm glad; I made her more... real... I guess, especially when compared to the Bella from If You Should Let Ghosts Die. She's not as goofy, either, as the Bella from The Road To You. Basically, it pleases me to think I'm doing a good job with characterization.**

 **P.P.S. I'm going back to school tomorrow, so I wanted to leave you with this chapter before life gets hectic again. If any of you have followed me before, you know I'm not one to leave a story hanging, so if I take a little while to update, bear with me please. I'm doing my best to finish the story before... say... March? We'll see how it goes. :P**


	3. Gossip Queens

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

* * *

Bella never got over him.

The second semester came and went, and things started changing slowly but surely. For one, Bella and Edward became _inseparable_. Any moment they had free, they were with each other. Bella had started working in a library part time, and Edward would often head over to have lunch with her on a bench outside. They started hanging out so much that Bella even quit smoking; not cold turkey, but progressively. It started with her being unable to get even a single smoke in between classes and work, then unable to during work, and then too tired to step out in the dorms. The only time she had was during her lunch break at the library, but since Edward was usually with her and he couldn't handle it, Bella one day announced she'd given up smoking. Everyone had been surprised; she'd been trying for years to give it up but had never been able to. Now, Edward was telling her all the time how nice she smelled. It was a good reward for her efforts, truth be told.

In other changes, over the summer Edward left Hayden to instead reside in an apartment complex. He wasn't taking any summer classes, he said, so he couldn't remain in the dorm —but he also couldn't go back home because his mother was renovating and so the house was unlivable. The issue was, he could only lease an apartment for a minimum of one year, so he was forced to rent one. He'd have stayed with Jake, but apparently he was going backpacking to South America with Nessa for the summer. Bella had taken the first two weeks to visit her father in Washington, Rose had gone home to Texas, and Emmett had gone to a summer camp to coach kids. In other words, when Bella came back from Middle-of-Nowhere, Washington, he stuck to her side like a leech and got a summer job with her; she got hired as a buffet server at Friendship Village Tempe, and he as a server in the local Outback. They'd take turns in going to eat at each other's restaurant, to the point where they became friends with each other's co-workers.

It was the most fun either had ever had working during summer break; they'd both work five times a week, taking a break on Sundays and Mondays. Bella started running with Edward (at a turtle-like pace, of course) in the mornings, or they'd head to nearby bookstores to find stuff for the other to read. Some days Edward would take Bella hiking or to some other outdoor activity, and other days Bella would take Edward to museums or the movies. Twice they got a day off from work and went on a road trip; first they went to Disneyland to celebrate Edward's twenty-first birthday, and then they went to Yellowstone National Park. Bella's favorite outing, though, was when they drove to Mexico and lazied around in the beach a few hours. Edward had been hilarious when they arrived at the border; he'd been nervous enough when getting through border patrol that he'd tried talking in Spanish to the officer on the _American_ side. He didn't even _know_ Spanish. Once they'd gotten out of _that_ sticky situation, they'd gone to a beach where the water had been freezing cold.

"Hey Bella?" Edward turned to face her. They were in his apartment complex enjoying the sun by the pool; it was pretty empty, much to their joy. School was meant to start again next week, and by now they'd both ended their summer jobs. Edward had invited her over to the pool at his apartment building. While Edward wore his swim trunks, Bella was in a red bikini that left little to his imagination. Honestly, he thought he wanted to kiss the feet of whoever had come up with swimsuits. Nay, with _two_ -piece swimsuits.

"Hmm?" Bella lazily turned to face him, using her comic book to shade her eyes from the sun. She was crazy paranoid about having the sunglasses tanned to her face, which frankly Edward found hilarious.

But when she landed her golden brown eyes on his, he suddenly didn't find it as funny anymore, feeling like his mouth was much too dry.

"Edward? What's up?"

 _Cullen, it's now or never. Fucking do it. Say it._

"Uh…"

 _Alright, so you're not smooth. But she knows that already. She'll give you time, you dumb sack of potatoes._

Intrigued now about what so hard for him to say, Bella sat up, and Edward copied her. Which he found to be a bad move, because now he had to _not_ talk to her breasts. Which were amazing breasts, even if he preferred her ass.

"You ok?" Bella asked, and feeling a bit self-conscious about his eyes on her, Bella grabbed her beach dress and covered up. A move which Edward deeply appreciated.

"Yeah, sorry about that. Sorry, I'm just a bit nervous," Edward chuckled awkwardly, fixing his glasses higher on his nose. Damn, maybe he shouldn't be doing this with his dorky glasses… or when they were both semi-naked.

"It's ok. Take your time," Bella smiled, and Edward decided to just say it.

"I was wondering if… you'd like to go out with me tonight. On a date. Just you and I."

Edward held his breath.

Truthfully, the last few months Bella had been a huge part of his life. He'd gotten to know her on a whole other level —the Bella Swan that was a Debbie Downer, that was a geek, that could be frighteningly direct and excessively charming. Liking her had been way too easy; it had just hit him, and somehow he'd been ok with it. It was while they were in Disneyland waiting in line for a ride; the time to get on was eternal, and the kids around them were growing restless. So Bella had leaned in and whispered in his ear to follow her lead, then pulled back and had suddenly started playing hand games with him. Patty cakes, hot hands, the one where you kept upping the amount of claps… Soon enough, they were teaching the kids around them the games from their childhood. Just like that, forty minutes went by —their hands hurt like a bitch, but neither had felt the passage of time. The last time he'd gone with Kate to an amusement park, she'd given up after a ten-minute wait and had insisted they do whatever wasn't crowded. He realized then that, despite Bella's Debbie Downer persona, she wasn't _really_ a pessimist; she just liked pretending that she was. She'd always say no to everything at first, but with just a little prodding she'd give in and have fun. Except with exercise, but he gave her a pass on that. But back then, waiting in line while playing patty cakes… He realized he actually rather liked this woman, and that he wanted something more with her. He spent the rest of the visit wondering what it would be like to hold hands with Bella Swan, Prom Queen (unofficial —rumor had it Bella ripped apart the ballots that had her name on it). Now, he just really wanted a chance to prove to Bella he could really make her far happier than someone like _Garrett_ ever could.

"You're asking me on a date?" Bella blinked, her expression unreadable. Edward swallowed hard and, gathering what remained of his courage, nodded. "Tonight?"

"Tonight."

Instead of answering, Bella put on her shorts, put her things away in her purse and stood up. Startled, Edward looked up at her in panic.

"Bella? Is that a no?"

She raised an eyebrow, looking down at him with her poker face.

"It's a 'you're giving me less than three hours to get ready so I need to go'," Bella said, a smile slowly breaking out on her face as Edward realized what was going on.

"So that's a yes?"

Laughing, Bella nodded, surprised when Edward suddenly got up and hugged her, plastering her face to his chest. _The advantages of him being 6 ft 3_ , thought Bella dreamily. She put her arms around his waste, thankful he hadn't put on a shirt yet.

"I'll pick you up at six, ok?" Edward gave her a heart stopping smile when he pulled away, and this time Bella couldn't resist blushing. "Text me when you get home."

Bella pedaled her bike as fast as she could back to her dorm (she'd already moved back in), texted Edward she was back and then proceeded to text Rose to get her ass back to the dorm in thirty minutes, sending Alice a text to wait for her call. Then Bella proceeded to have the most thorough shower of her life —shaving everything but her eyebrows, getting soap into every nook and cranny and making sure her hair was as flawless as it could be. When she was heading back to her room, she passed by Emmett's, feeling guilty that she wasn't telling him first. However, he wasn't due back until tomorrow, and he was very anal about disconnecting his phone during the camp. So Bella sent him a telepathic apology and then ran into her room.

"What's the deal, Swan? Your text sounded very panicky," Rose scowled when she saw her roommate enter with flushed cheeks and crazy eyes. "Are you high?"

"No!" Bella scoffed, then gave her a wide grin. "Better."

"Fucked?" Rose guessed, though both knew that wasn't it. Instead, Bella gave her a mischievous grin and called Alice —who picked up immediately.

"B? What's up? I've been freaking out the last half hour."

"Alice, you're on loudspeaker. Rose is here with me," Bella said, laying her phone on the middle of her bed.

"Hey Rose!" Alice greeted on the other end of the line excitedly, making the two girls smile. Alice's greetings were always full of happiness. "Now spill, Bella."

Looking like she was about to blow a fuse, Bella suddenly released the widest smile Rose had ever seen on a girl.

"Edward just invited me out on a date!" Bella squealed, and even though Rose and Alice were in shock, they squealed with her.

"Ohmygodohmygod—" Alice repeated endlessly on her end, while Rose crushed Bella into a hug.

After twenty minutes of just retelling the whole fucking day to the girls, they decided to get down to business —what Bella should wear for their date.

"No jeans," Rose and Alice agreed. Huffing, Bella closed that section of her closet.

"Skirt?"

"No, you wore that for your first date with Garrett," Rose shook her head. "You don't want to be wearing the same."

"What about a dress? The one I got you for Christmas?" Alice asked, and Bella shook her head no.

"He texted me to dress comfortably. I don't think I should wear a dress."

"Did he say what you were doing?" Rose asked, tugging back on Bella's hair. While they were deciding the outfit, they thought it was a good idea to do something about the hairdo. Currently, they were going for a French braid. However, Bella had three hundred knots to get through.

"No, he didn't. I think he wants it to be a surprise." Bella buzzed excitedly, grabbing the eyebrow brush and giving the little hairs some shape. She didn't like plucking her eyebrows since she felt this was a very good method to keep that part of her face groomed.

"Fuck, fine. Then how about… Pants? Rose, do you have any of those that look like a skirt but are really pants?"

Rose brightened up, letting go of Bella's hair to look through her closet. She came back with black pants triumphantly.

"I do! She'll look great in these. They're high-waist, black with straps."

Alice hummed, tapping what seemed to be a pencil on the other end of the line.

"Ok, I say use a white t-shirt and white Converse. Oh, and your cat bag! Did you take it?"

Miraculously, Bella had, and she said as much.

"Great! Mm, what else? Oh, and a blue cardigan just in case it's cold. Or any color, really, so long as it's not too bright." Something was heard in the background, and then Alice cursed. "Shit, I've got to go downstairs. Alright, I think that's pretty much it. Rose, I'll trust you with her makeup. FaceTime me when you're done, I want to see you!"

Then Alice hung up.

Rose and Bella laughed.

"She's got a lot of energy," Rose laughed, bringing out the outfit and laying it on the bed. "Come on, let me do your makeup before you get dressed."

Half an hour later (Bella was a tough client since she hated shit coming close to her eye) Rose had Bella's phone trained on the outfit, then the whole picture, showing Alice their masterpiece.

"Oh, I love it," Alice gushed, her face frighteningly close to the camera. She had a triumphant gleam in her eye, as if she was a proud mother. "You look gorgeous, Bella."

And she did, Rose praised both in her head and out-loud. Looking a little more put-together, having an actual hairdo and a little makeup made her blindingly, enviously beautiful.

"Damn, I want your body," Rose shook her head at herself. Rose _did_ love her body, but there was something about Bella's that made her want a little more ass, a little less boobs and a lot more waist. A B-cup suit Bella, and Rose could live with her D-cup and flat ass. Not to mention, Bella had once mentioned Emmett was a boob man, through and through.

But more on that later.

"Thanks. Ice cream for breakfast," Bella joked, running a hand down her curves sarcastically. Alice snorted because she'd seen Bella carefully measure each cup of fruit, carbs and protein every morning while she'd stayed at her house during winter break. Though Bella was doing exercise now (read: begrudgingly speed walking half an hour), the only way she'd maintained that body had been through balanced eating.

"How long until Edward's due?" Alice asked, pulling away a little bit from the screen.

"Five minutes," Bella replied instantly. Not like she was obsessively checking the time or anything. Not at all.

"Alright. Now, here's how we're gonna play it ladies: cool. Rose, be cool. Me, be cool. Bella, you be you. I don't want you seeming aloof or anything. Just relax and enjoy your time together. Think how easygoing you were with Garrett, but with the interest you've got in Edward. And have _fun_ , Debbie. You've earned that much, haven't you?"

Bella was starting to shake with nerves, but nonetheless she nodded.

"Good. And Rose, remember —I want to look at them make goo goo eyes at each other." There was a knock. "It's _showtime_!"

Shushing the giggling girls, Bella cleared her throat nervously before opening the door.

Bella felt her heart about to melt into a puddle. There was Edward, dressed in jeans and a rolled up green button-up shirt, hair a little less gelled and Coke-bottle glasses in place. In other words, Bella's heart gave a kick. When Edward saw _Bella_ , though… He lost his voice for a couple of moments. When the brightest smile known to man fluttered across her face, he knew he was in deep shit.

"Edward!" Bella greeted, opening the door wider for him to come in. "You look really handsome."

He smiled, trying to come up with words.

"What's that?" Bella asked, pointing to whatever Edward was holding in his back. Doing his best to snap out of it, Edward thrust a Hershey's chocolate bar at her.

"Chocolate. Since you've said before you don't like flowers," Edward explained, thankful for his decision when he saw her smile brighten even more. "And you look beautiful, Bella."

The smile now had a blush which nearly made Edward lose his mind.

"Thank you," Bella mumbled shyly, grabbing the chocolate and, to just _really_ hit him where it hurt, leaned up to give him a kiss on the cheek.

"What's going on?" Alice whispered in Rose's ear, who was devouring every second of awkward interaction gleefully.

"Bella's blue-balling him. It's magnificent," Rose whispered back. "Also, he brought her chocolate instead of flowers."

Alice gasped on the other end.

"My God, she's marrying him."

Bella placed her chocolate on the desk, promising to herself she'd make it last for at least a week (spoiler alert: it lasted two hours). Then she glanced back at Rose.

"Bye Rose!"

Startled, Edward leaned to the side and realized that, indeed, the roommate was there. He flushed at the realization that someone had watched their awkward interaction.

"Bye Rose," Edward mumbled to the blonde.

She gave them her Cheshire smile.

"You kids better be on your best behavior!" Rose laughed, rejoicing when Bella flipped her the middle finger before shutting the door behind her.

"So, where are we going?" Bella buzzed next to Edward with excitement as they left the building. Edward had left his Volvo parked on the curb, so when they stepped out Edward made his way to the passenger side to open the door for Bella. "Thank you."

Smiling at her, he rushed to the other side of the car and slipped in.

"So…" Bella trailed off, not wanting to pressure him but really wanting a reply. Edward laughed, pulling away from the dorm.

"Kiwanis Park," Edward said, surprising Bella. She knew that park; she'd only gone there once or twice, but it was pretty. "We're having a picnic."

"Oh! That sounds great," Bella grinned. She loved eating, and she loved parks. She also _really_ liked Edward, so anything sounded amazing if done with him.

"Really? Because if you'd prefer anything else…" Edward trailed off when he saw Bella emphatically shaking her head no.

"I love parks. Seriously."

Edward smiled.

"Good."

The drive to the park was nine minutes of comfortable silence; Edward had playing in the background a soft song that made Bella want to keep listening to it forever.

"Alright, here we are."

Bella stretched, thanking Edward again when he opened the door for her. Once she was out, he made his way to the trunk where he proceeded to pull out a basket.

"You just had that lying around?" Bella asked, surprised. Sheepishly, he shook his head.

"I went home for it. I had to tell mom why I wanted it, so… Mom says hi."

Bella laughed. She'd never met Mrs. Cullen, but she had to be an incredible woman to have raised Edward. Edward didn't bother mentioning he didn't _exactly_ say he had a date —just a picnic with Bella. His mother's eyes seemed to fill in the rest, but he hadn't confirmed nor denied.

"Well, tell her I say hi and thank you for the basket. It's very handy," Bella smiled.

They made their way to a patch of grass, wanting to eat next to the lake. They'd be able to watch the sunset from their spot, and when night fell, there was a light-post right behind them.

"So, what'd you cook?" Bella asked once they were sitting down, thankful for the decision to wear pants instead of a dress.

Edward gave her a sheepish grin.

"Actually, I suck at cooking. But I bought some mean frozen chicken, you know," Edward said, bringing out a Tupperware. He pulled out everything from the basket first; the chicken, pasta, salad, breadsticks, a chocolate cake for dessert and a bottle of wine.

"I'm not really a big drinker, but I've seen you ask for wine before. I swiped this one from my dad's liquor shelf, so I'm betting it's good," Edward laughed, handing Bella a wine glass. She thanked him, glad for the day she told Edward of her love for pasta.

"Then I think I owe your dad my gratitude, too," Bella grinned, feeling carnivorous butterflies in her stomach fly around when Edward returned her smile. "And thank you for the picnic. Everything looks delicious, even if it came from a box."

They made small talk while Edward served each of them their plates, showing himself a little more generous with his share than with hers. She'd talked to him before about her struggle with healthy eating and how she always had to watch she wasn't overeating. He wasn't about to make things harder for her.

"There's something I want to ask you, but I'm not sure if it's appropriate for the first date," Edward said once they'd gone through half their plate. Bella had just been cracking jokes, and he didn't want to spoil the mood with his question. But the curiosity had been killing him inside since like May.

"Well, we'll only know until you ask, right? Hit me," Bella said, taking a swig from the wine. Edward had been right; it _was_ good. Though she knew she wouldn't enjoy more than two glasses, not to mention she didn't want him getting into trouble for giving her the good alcohol.

He finished his own glass before asking.

"I was just wondering… who it is you liked in high school. I mean, you don't have to tell me, but Emmett had been pretty adamant about you not getting over him. I'm just wondering if… Well, if you're over him or not."

Bella looked out at the lake, suddenly really glad that she hadn't rushed things with him and blurted out how she felt back when he broke up with Kate. She sipped from her wine-glass and then put it down, cocking her head to the side and making eye contact with Edward.

"I'm not over him. Everything I did, no matter how much time passed… I could never stop liking him." Bella said this seriously, needing to build up the courage to tell Edward the most important part.

"Oh," Edward mumbled, and he looked so crushed that Bella got up, leaving her half-eaten plate on the blanket, and sat down next to Edward. "Can I ask who it is?"

Bella leaned forward to whisper in his ear.

"Mike Newton," Bella said, and when Edward leaned back with an unamused face, she burst out laughing. "Oh God, I'm _kidding_ , obviously. I liked _you_ , Edward Cullen. For real."

Edward waited for her to laugh again, but she didn't. He pulled back to see her face, and Bella was chewing on her bottom lip nervously. Was she… serious?

"You're joking," Edward deadpanned. "Tell me seriously, Bella."

Bella shrugged.

"I am. I've liked you since you started coming in to Denny's. So that's… all of our senior year of high school and freshman year of college. So this is pretty much a dream come true."

Edward didn't believe her, and he said as much.

"I consulted with you about Kate. You can't be serious."

Bella flinched, nodding.

"Yeah, I hated you a little for that. But it's cool now, obviously. Look, Edward, I don't really have any proof for you other than Emmett and Alice endlessly mocking me for how tongue-tied I got around you. Remember how I started avoiding you last summer?"

"You told me you weren't!"

"I lied. Anyway, I was just kinda burnt over you liking Kate so much. I didn't want to pine anymore, even since then, but I didn't know what to do. You'd talked to her about her staying at a beach house or something, and I just kind of… felt shitty. So I switched shifts in order to not bump into you. Don't look at me like that! I was sore, alright? I didn't want to hear you talk about going with Kate to the beach." Bella pouted, doing her best to make good puppy dog eyes.

"For what it's worth, we never went," Edward confessed, chuckling when Bella's eyes lit up. "Yeah, Kate was never into the outdoors. Like, _you're_ full of it when you say you don't like the outdoors because you always end up going out, like now. Kate _really_ didn't like anything outside. I mean, she did her best in the beginning, but in the end she was just more honest about disliking it."

Bella puckered her lips in deep thought, not realizing that Edward's eyes lingered on them.

"I mean, I'm not forcing myself or anything. Mostly, it's just…" Bella sighed, looking at her half eaten plate and reaching over to recuperate it. She bit into her salad (she'd eaten first what needed to be hot), swallowed and continued. "When I got into college, I realized I didn't want to be that person anymore. Always stuck in the treehouse reading a comic book. Don't get me wrong, I still love it, and I could do it forever, but… I just wanted to see what more I could do. I don't suddenly want to go to parties or clubbing because that's never been me, but I _did_ kind of figure I should try new things and move around more. So I don't really fault Kate for not going out more; I think she just hasn't had that catharsis I went through."

And Bella _really_ wanted to talk shit about Kate.

Edward laid down his empty plate inside the basket, resting his cheek on his hand, his elbow perched on a knee.

"I just can't believe it when you say you liked me in high school. Why?"

Bella quirked an eyebrow.

"I thought you were more confident than that, Cullen."

Edward smirked.

"No, don't get me wrong. I like myself. I just never thought other people would see my awesomeness, too."

Bella rolled her eyes but answered nonetheless.

"You _are_ cool, Edward. I went to see you running a couple of times —you looked incredible when you ran full speed ahead. So happy, so free. And every time we talked in the diner you never failed to pay complete attention to my words. Honestly? At first I thought you liked me. By the time I understood you were just generally nice and had a girlfriend it was too late for me and I totally liked you."

Edward flushed bright red.

"I'm not that nice. And I didn't mean to—"

"You are, and I know. You were devoted to Kate, and that made you more appealing much to my endless fury. Look, Edward, I've liked you for a while now. I don't expect you to reciprocate the extent of my feelings, and that's ok. But you asked, and I wanted you to know."

Edward still couldn't quite fully believe his ears.

"I just can't believe that _the_ Bella Swan had a crush on me. I mean, you saw me hang out with Jake, right? And you still thought, 'Nah, scrawny redhead for me'." Edward joked, but he saw that Bella wasn't really into it. But they were both expecting him to put his foot in his mouth at least once today.

"Edward… I think you're pretty hot. I wouldn't like you if I didn't find you attractive. But that's not the only reason why I like you. And I'm not _the_ Bella Swan, I'm _just_ Bella. So even if you're just joking… don't put yourself down. Please?"

He gave her a wry smile.

"I'll do my best."

The rest of the evening from then went wonderfully. They talked, then talked some more, and at around nine they decided to head for some ice cream (double dessert never harmed nobody). Bella told Edward a bit about Charlie —she was always avoiding talking about her father, claiming he was just not that interesting a topic. On Edward's end, he finally opened up a little more about architecture and started sharing some more about his love for urban planning and some of the challenges he'd faced the last semester, especially with group projects. By the time that they were in front of Bella's dorm entrance, both were more than a little reluctant to let the other go.

"So…" Edward shuffled, looking down at his feet. "I had a great time, Bella, I really did."

Bella smiled. She was a step higher than Edward, which put her a whopping four inches taller. She'd take it though.

"I did, too. Thanks a lot for the picnic, Edward. The food was delicious and the wine was even high quality," Bella teased. He grinned, though he still didn't make eye contact.

"Would you… like to do this again? Sometime soon?"

Bella pretended to consider it.

"How soon?"

"Um… How does tomorrow sound?" Edward proposed, and honestly, the idea sounded excellent.

"I say perfect," Bella smiled when he finally looked up with a face of relief. "Did you really think I'd say no? Didn't I say I've been pining for two years already?"

He gave her a little smirk, but didn't reply to that.

"Good night, Bella. Thanks for today." Edward stuck his hands in his front pockets. Bella echoed the sentiment, but she added a second part. "Close your eyes for a sec."

Instantly, he did.

Getting closer, Bella wrapped her arms around his waist the way she'd been wanting to the whole evening. She squeezed him tightly, sighing in relief when he hugged her back.

"I've always thought your hugs are amazing," Edward admitted, the vibration from his voice reaching Bella's cheek.

"Yours, too."

They remained hugging that way for an awful long time, until both felt it was about time to go.

"Breakfast?" Edward asked.

"Brunch," Bella corrected sheepishly. She liked him, but she hadn't suddenly lost all sense. Chuckling, Edward nodded alright.

"I'll pick you up. Night Bella."

"Night, Edward."

* * *

Bright and early, like at nine-thirty in the morning, Bella started spamming Emmett's phone. He was due back today, so she was expecting him to be already halfway through his second early workout.

"Bella? What's up? Is everything ok?" Emmett asked, worried about the fact that his best friend was up before twelve, while on vacation, and calling _him_. Were they burying a body today?

"Oh my God Emmett I swear this is the last time you disconnect yourself from the world for a whole summer. You're gonna die when you hear this, and you've only got _yourself_ to blame for being the last one to hear about it."

Then Bella regaled Emmett with everything that happened yesterday, from beginning to end, while she got dressed for her brunch date. Emmett didn't interrupt even once, letting his best friend get it all off her chest. When she was done (both explaining and getting ready, because lovely Rose had already picked out her clothes yesterday) Emmett said just one thing.

"Fuck. _Me_ ," he groaned, rubbing his eyes in frustration. He couldn't believe he'd missed such an important thing —such an incredible moment in Bella's life.

"Yes. Fuck _you_ ," Bella agreed, then grinned to herself. "And hopefully, me too in the coming year."

Oh God. Emmett retched a little. He couldn't imagine the possibility of those two fucking each other.

"I can't believe how suddenly this happened. Did he say he likes you?"

Bella pursed her lips.

"I'm never talking to you again, Emmett McCarty." Bella set the phone down on speaker while she threw her hair up into a half ponytail. "But no. He didn't."

Emmett whistled.

"I can't believe you're still into him after all this time. You're such a masochist, B."

"And a well-compensated one at that." Bella huffed, deciding to forgo the makeup today except for brushing her eyebrows. "Also, I expect you to be ready for midnight. You and I need to talk about our summer, young man."

Emmett almost always disappeared during the summers, so the two best friends had developed a system where they wouldn't pester the other until it was time to go back to school. To compensate, however, they'd spend a full day —literally— catching up in the treehouse. They were only allowed pee breaks, and whoever fell asleep first was subject to punishment. It was, to everyone's surprise, always Emmett.

"Yes dear," Emmett chuckled, excited as always to see his best friend after three months. "I'm actually going to get a massage in a couple of hours. See if I can get ready for you to chatter non-stop."

Offended, because _he_ was the chatterbox, Bella huffed.

"Anyways, B, I'm really happy for you. It's about time you went out with someone you actually dig. And I like Ed, dork glasses and all."

Emmett had a huge issue with Edward's glasses, not that Bella understood why. Sure, they were half the boy's face, but they were cool. Really.

"Well, thanks for approving, dad," Bella snorted, glancing down and seeing that it was time to go. "I've gotta hang up, Em. Edward'll be here any minute now."

Emmett didn't immediately answer, so Bella waited for him to reply.

"I _do_ mean it, B. Enjoy going out with a good guy. But if he ever does hurt you, I'll break his jaw."

Then he hung up, like he hadn't just threatened bodily harm to her date.

Bella snorted; Em was being very cool about it, but she knew he'd be having a crisis or two throughout the day when it dawned on him that his very single, very virgin lifelong friend was about to start dating. Different from Garrett, however, since both had known back then that it was leading nowhere. Even _she'd_ been shocked with Emmett's six-month anniversary with Alice; he'd had a lot of girlfriends by the time they were freshmen in high school, but none had lasted more than a month. So yeah, Bella knew he'd be shitting bricks when it dawned on him.

 _Knock knock._

The butterflies in Bella's stomach became vultures in milliseconds.

"One moment!" Bella called out, grabbing her phone, wallet and keys and stuffing them in her pockets. She hated carrying purses so much that she only had in her possession skirts or pants with pockets in them; the only exception to this were her leggings, and she used shirts on top of them with pockets to compensate. She rushed to the door, opening the door to find a smiling Edward behind it.

"Good morning," Bella greeted, _way_ too happy despite having woken up at nine in the morning.

"Morning," Edward grinned, sticking his hands in his front pockets. He didn't know if it was appropriate to hug or kiss Bella, so he decided to wait for her to make a move. "Ready to go?"

"Yes," Bella grinned, shutting the door behind her. Together, they walked to the stairs, needing to go down two floors. "So, where are we going?"

"I thought Snooze would be a good place for brunch," Edward offered, chuckling when Bella's eyes lit up like she'd just heard the best idea in the world. She _loved_ Snooze, and it was less than ten minutes away walking from her dorm.

"Oh, I _love_ Snooze," Bella echoed her inner thoughts, blushing when her stomach decided that it was a good moment to make itself known.

"I can tell," Edward teased. He was about to say something else when he noticed Bella tilting her head, gaze intently set on his shirt. He glanced down at the same time that Bella chuckled; oh, right. Today he was wearing a shirt that said 'You look funny with your head that way'. Bella was always looking forward to his graphic t-shirts.

"Is that one new?" Bella managed to ask before slipping on a step between the first and the ground floor. Her nose would've most definitely hit the floor if not for Edward, who quickly wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her back, holding onto the railing for support.

"Are you ok?" Edward rushed out, still holding Bella. His heart was pounding against his chest; they weren't at a level part yet, so she would've fallen a long way if he hadn't caught her. Worse still, it wasn't the first time it had happened; he'd seen her trip on air, slip and fall on her ass, she'd even sprained an ankle when she'd gone to visit her father. It was the first time, though, he'd seen it happen on a more dangerous level.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks for catching me," Bella breathed out, swallowing hard. It's not that she _liked_ being clumsy; she tried really hard not to be it. It _hurt_ falling down, and it pissed her off about herself that she couldn't change it so easily. She knew she couldn't walk stairs without looking down, damn it.

"Of course," Edward said, letting go of her waist —and making Bella wish she had the ovaries to tell him to keep his arm there. However, showing his experience in this whole dating thing, Edward made her wish come true and, at the same time, dispelled her self-anger: he gave her a charming smirk and latched onto her hand. "Don't want you falling down again."

He walked down, pulling her along with him. He turned back when he heard her laughing.

"Something funny?" He asked, opening the front door of the dorm and letting Bella through first. She thanked him, still laughing. "What?"

"You're just so _smooth_ ," Bella laughed, but nonetheless she switched positions so she could lace her fingers through his. Edward smirked, squeezing her hand.

Honestly, he hadn't been able to sleep a wink last night. He kept replaying the date in his head, trying to find a clue —any clue— that last night had been a fluke. It was just really hard to believe that a woman like Bella (funny, interesting, gorgeous, smart, and just all-over amazing) had liked him for the last two years. He, who completely lacked any type of tact and had _accidentally_ asked out his last girlfriend. He never told Kate, but he'd never meant to ask her out; he'd thought she was nice, sure, but he hadn't _meant_ to ask her out. Falling for her came later. Asking Bella out? _That_ had been nerve-wracking. He'd been giving himself pep talks for the last three weeks, and the day before that he'd been unable to even eat from the nerves. Truth was, once he knew he liked Bella he was unstoppable. He couldn't go a day without texting her, he'd spend every minute of his part time job waiting to see her, and he started noticing all the men that stared at Bella. Liking her was a giddy feeling that made him dizzy, and truth be told, he loved that. Much more now that he knew that she liked him, too. Nay, that he was the _only_ guy she'd ever liked (or so she had said yesterday).

Chattering on mindlessly, they made their way to Snooze, swinging their hands between them. Neither wanted to let go of the other, so they waited until they were brought their food to pull apart.

Their brunch went on, and on, until suddenly they were going to Chick-fil-A for late lunch, and then _that_ went on too long so Bella invited herself over to Edward's apartment to cook dinner.

"I'm so embarrassed about giving you frozen food now," Edward groaned, observing the meal Bella had put together. She took the leftover meat from yesterday's barbecue, cooked some rice (which he had no idea was there), cut up some tomato and put cheese on it, and even added some oregano which, again, he hadn't known he had.

"Why? It was good, really," Bella said honestly. She'd thought it tasted nice, but then again, her stomach had been in a knot most of the night so perhaps she wasn't the most objective when it came down to it.

"I'm glad, though you don't need to spare me," Edward grinned. He was already done with his plate, and wholly happy about it too. It felt like they'd spent the whole day eating, and in his mind (and hopefully Bella's too) it was the best way to spend a date. They'd talked and eaten for the better part of the day, getting to know the side of the other that they didn't yet know.

Bella was about to reply when there was a knock on the door.

Edward frowned.

"Sorry about that, just let me go check what that's about," Edward apologized, standing up and heading to the front door. He peeked through the peephole and… that was his mother.

 _Fuck fuck fuck fuck fu—_

He opened it.

"Mother," Edward greeted her, eyeing her curiously. She never made any surprise visits, much less at night. Unless…

 _Fuck Jacob Black._

He narrowed his eyes at his mother, instantly knowing what was going on. He'd told his best friend, who was a fucking blabbermouth, who also happened to have his mother's cell phone on speed dial, who _also_ loved fucking with him. Edward would give him the benefit of the doubt, however, that Jake hadn't expected his date to drag on so long.

"Offspring," his mother retaliated, eyeing him back suspiciously. "I come bearing gifts," Esme Cullen held up the proof, a bag filled with frozen food and already-made meals. Ok, so he was severely spoiled which was why he sucked at cooking.

Sighing, he hung his head. No way could he turn her away, food or no food. So he just hugged his mother in greeting, grabbing the bag from her.

"Thanks mom," he said, then whispered in her ear. "Be cool, please."

"Huh?" His mother frowned, and when Edward pulled away he gave her a look that made her eyes widen. " _Oh_!"

She went inside.

"Who was it?" Bella asked when she heard the door close. She was already done with her food, so she was in the process of getting up when Edward went in the kitchen with a beautiful red-headed, statuesque woman who was clearly his mother.

"Uh… Bella, this is Esme Cullen, my mother. Mom, this is Bella Swan." Edward quite consciously didn't give Bella a description; Bella was just glad he didn't call her his friend.

"Oh, hi Mrs. Cullen," Bella greeted, stepping away from the sink and moving swiftly to Edward's side. She started extending a hand when Mrs. Cullen chucked it away and went in for a hug.

"Bella! _Please_ , call me Esme. I've heard so much about you!" Esme nearly crushed her in a hug, and in that moment Bella realized that this woman was quite tall. At least five inches taller than her, and she wasn't even wearing heels. Figured; Bella thought this woman might've been a model before.

"Um, ok. Thanks, Esme. I've heard a lot about you too," Bella replied honestly, because Edward had talked a lot about his mom. She'd talked a lot less about her parents, and she was pretty sure she'd only mentioned Charlie once. He wasn't something she liked talking about much for a variety of reasons.

"Mom, you're cutting off her air supply," Edward said, prying his mother's hooks away from his date.

"Oh, did you have dinner already? I didn't think you had so I brought you something," Esme said, looking at the glasses Bella hadn't gotten around to washing.

"We did, mom. Bella cooked —she's great, too," Edward said, smiling down at Bella who beamed back at him.

"Oh, you did? That's amazing! I'm glad someone's feeding him, since he won't cook for himself," Esme shook her head, giving Bella a look of exasperation. Bella giggled, looking up at a red-faced Edward. Esme was doing a good job of low-key embarrassing her son. Already, Bella liked the woman.

"Would you like some dessert? Edward and I bought ice-cream," Bella offered, thinking of how much of a glutton she really was. Esme, though, shrugged her off.

"Oh, don't worry about it. I was just about to leave anyway, sweetheart. But thank you for asking," Esme said kindly. Bella glanced down at her watch; it was already 10:13 p.m. Her eyes widened.

"Please, don't leave on my behalf. I have to get going soon, anyway. I've got somewhere to be by midnight, just like Cinderella," Bella said, holding back a yawn. She was tired already; she didn't see how she'd last against Emmett, who always took power naps the day before.

"Oh? You've got plans?" Esme asked, and though she'd tried hiding it, the judgement was creeping in her tone. Esme couldn't help herself, though; she couldn't think of what a college girl would be doing at midnight except going to a party. Then again, she knew she was old-fashioned, which was why she made more of an effort to keep herself in check.

"Yes, I'm having a twenty-four hour gossip session with my best friend. He's been gone all summer so we've got a lot of catching up to do."

"Oh, you're seeing Emmett today?" Edward asked nonchalantly, though he didn't feel that way inside. He wasn't yet at that level of self-confidence where Bella and Emmett's relationship didn't make him jealous. Esme blinked repeatedly.

"Emmett? The McCarty's boy?" Esme asked, thinking of the slightly older couple. They were nice, if perhaps a little too religious for Esme's liking. They were the type that usually gave you the stink eye when you suddenly appeared for Christmas mass and then disappeared for the rest of the year.

"Yeah, that's the one. We've been childhood friends since I can remember," Bella said. "So, if anything, I should get going. I've got to get to the dorm and drive home before midnight."

"How far is your house?" Edward asked.

"Oh, like thirty to forty minutes from my dorm. I don't have to rush yet, but I need to pick up a few things before heading there."

Before Edward could blurt out that he'd take her, his mother helped out.

"Oh, Edward will take you honey. You know what, sweetie? Why don't you take Bella to her house and you sleep over at home today. I've missed your face. What do you think?"

 _That you're not really asking, but it's ok because I want more time with your son, Mrs. Cullen._

"If Edward's ok with it," Bella replied bashfully. Edward smirked, seeing right through her.

"Come on, you two. Get going or you'll be late. Nah-ah! Don't touch the dishes dear, let me get them. Edward, I'll do the dishes and then head out, ok?"

Edward knew that meant she'd be checking if he'd done the laundry and how spotless (or dirty) his apartment was. Ever since he'd moved to the apartment his mother had done weekly visits —both to check on him and to remind him that she really, really loved him. Edward suspected that the last part was as truthful as it was said to placate him.

Because both of them wanted the awkwardness to be over, Edward ushered Bella out of his apartment, leading her down to the parking lot. Wordlessly, they got into his car.

Bella started laughing.

"Oh, I _really_ like your mother. Everything she thinks shows on her face," Bella giggled, her laughter intensifying when Edward just huffed and started the car.

"Sorry about her. Jake must've told her I went on a date yesterday, or that I had one today."

Bella gave him a confused look.

"Why would he do that?"

"To fuck with me, why else?" Edward muttered under his breath, but out loud, he chose nicer words. "He and my mother are gossips. He likes reporting to her everything I do, which is why I should know better than to tell him anything."

Bella kept laughing.

"Oh, Jake's got a gift with the ladies. I've seen him charm the socks off of Mrs. Cope, and _that's_ a tough person to please if I've ever seen one," Bella shook her head, unwillingly making a question pop up in Edward's head.

"I've got a question," Edward cleared his throat dramatically. Bella told him to go ahead. "Why did you never like Jake? He was quite clear about liking you before Ness came along, and as I remember, you never _dis_ liked him."

Bella shrugged.

"I don't know. In my head, he was always kind of _just_ Emmett's friend. I know he's a good guy, but it always bugged me that he was so insistent on going out with me when he didn't even know _me_ , you know?" Bella felt bad about saying anything negative about his best friend, but she also knew he wouldn't be satisfied with a half-assed answer.

"I see," Edward muttered, then reaching over and grabbing Bella's hand. "Well, I think he's a little sore that you're on a date with me when you wouldn't give him the time of day. He says I broke the bro code because I'm going out with his first crush. Though to be fair, I think it's just his pride talking."

Bella bit down on her lip, suddenly worried she was hurting their friendship.

"But… are you two ok?"

Surprised, Edward looked at Bella out of the corner of his eye. He chuckled.

"Bella, we're fine. Jake's mostly joking. He's happy for me; he never liked Kate much anyway, so he's glad he actually likes who I'm dating."

"He didn't?" Bella asked, miraculously managing to hide the joy she felt. Take that, ex-girlfriend. A part of her thought he'd already told her this, but she had a hard time recalling.

"No. Neither did Kate like him very much, though neither had a real reason for it."

"Did that bother you?"

Edward thought about it.

"Yeah, it did a bit. It wasn't important enough for me to end either of my relationships though, so maybe not all that much. They didn't hate each other, so that's all that mattered to me then. Knowing Jake likes you though, it makes me feel surprisingly relieved." Edward shrugged, not knowing exactly how to explain it. "Oh, we're here."

"Thank you," Bella smiled at him, squeezing his hand. "Will you wait for me? I'll be down in five minutes."

Edward waved her off.

"Take your time."

Bella hurried to her room and came back in seven minutes, looking winded.

"You look like you're about to have a heart attack," Edward commented, taking the bag from her and opening the passenger door. He'd been outside waiting for her to come back; his hair was all messy already, which Bella had to admit she liked. Despite his constant use of gel he was always running his hand through his hair, so by the end of the day she'd come to see he almost always looked like a much cuter, redheaded Einstein.

"What?" Edward smiled, perplexed. He had the passenger door open waiting for Bella to get in.

Grinning, Bella simply took a step closer, put her arms around him and hugged him tight.

 _Oh my God she's so soft._

Without hesitation, Edward returned the hug. Inwards, he admitted to himself that Bella's height (a whole foot smaller than him) was one he rather liked; Kate had been quite tall, reaching just about his ear, and he'd never had an issue with it, even thought it nice. There was something very instinctive, though, about liking Bella's height. He felt like he had to protect her, even though he'd seen her argue her way into a tip with a rude customer with master skills. Bella felt the same; like Edward could wrap her in his arms and make all her troubles go away. She liked his warmth and the fact that he felt soft despite the muscles he'd acquired from track. She felt like snuggling into him and remaining there for as long as he'd let her.

"I'm really glad you asked me out," Bella said, and Edward swore he'd be killed by her sweetness one day. "Having you as a friend has been amazing, but being able to do _this_ with you without wondering if we're just friends… It's incredible."

Edward groaned so loudly that Bella pulled back, confused. She looked up at him and he had an incredibly pained look.

"Are you ok? Did I say something I shouldn't have?"

"No, no," Edward made the physical effort not to launch himself at her. So instead, he asked. "Can I kiss you?"

No sooner had she started nodding that Edward was _on_ her. He turned them so Bella was now resting against the car door, shutting it at the same time. He didn't want anyone to see this, but he did need to kiss her at _that_ exact moment. He tilted her head up and bent down, giving her a kiss that left her dizzy. It felt hot, and wet, and nothing like the one time Bella and Emmett had kissed when they were eleven. It was exponentially better, and it didn't make Bella gag afterwards. When Edward ran his tongue across her bottom lip, seeking entrance, Bella had to pull away. Not wanting him to feel like she didn't want more, she hooked her arms around his neck, not letting him straighten up.

"Um… I've kind of, you know, never done this before. I mean, Em was my first kiss when we were eleven, and that's it. So you're… gonna have to be patient with me," Bella mumbled, but Edward heard her perfectly.

Did this mean…? Oh God. Bella was a virgin. He hadn't had that realization, though it wasn't strange given how she'd never had a boyfriend before. While a small part of him suddenly felt the weight of being her first anything, the bigger part of him was thrilled. Being this woman's first in everything made him feel even more special —not because he liked her 'purity' or something archaic like that, but because the animal inside of him really liked having her all to himself. If she hadn't been, he'd probably have been relieved to think he would never give her pain while having sex, so he knew he was just looking at the bright side of things.

Turning, he kissed her neck and held her tight. She really did feel good against his chest —he kind of wanted to hold her forever.

"Of course, Bella. You set the pace and I'll follow, alright?" Edward gave her a squeeze, and it took a couple of moments before they both let go. Then they got in the car, and he drove Bella home.

* * *

"I'm going to kill you," Bella sneered at Emmett, coming back from the bathroom with a drenched shirt. She had just spent the last fifteen minutes getting Sharpie off her face; on her forehead was an I (heart), and on one cheek was the drawing of a dick and on the other was written Edward. She'd had to face Phil, since he'd been going for a late snack down to the kitchen and their paths had crossed.

It was already eleven at night of the next day, and the two had spent the last twenty-two hours catching each other up on what they'd been doing. Emmett had talked about his kids in the summer camp, and how he'd apparently had a summer fling with some Norwegian girl giving the kids dance lessons. He said he wanted to try the sex friends thing at least once, and that it was enough. He'd had fun, Emmett said, but he hadn't felt the thrill his friends spoke of. Bella had been happily talking about all her summer activities when, at around eight-thirty, she'd fallen dead asleep. Emmett had rejoiced in his first win (his power naps had worked, _finally_ ) and had proceeded to draw on her face, then play Crash (he was old school) while waiting for her to revive. Once she had, he'd been unable to hold his laughter in check after fifteen minutes, which had ended in Bella immediately realizing something was wrong and running to the bathroom. She couldn't check with her phone's camera, since they had a rule of no phones while on their gossip marathons.

"I can't believe Phil saw you," Emmett snorted, loving the fact that her innocent step-father had seen such things on her face. Phil was a great guy, Emmett thought; he always went along with Renée's crazy shit, he wasn't afraid to put limits for Bella, he could cook a mean steak and, most of all, you could tell he would lay his heart out for Bella if she asked despite her not being his biological daughter. He couldn't have children, which was something Bella had said used to weigh heavy on her step-father's mind.

"Me neither. He just widened his eyes, snorted and then carried on," Bella pouted. Phil was hilarious, but you needed years of knowing him to understand it. Otherwise, you could live your life thinking he low-key hated you.

"Phil's great, B. I wish my dad could tone his sense of humor down a little," Emmett shook his head, taking a swig of his orange juice. Em was always drinking some juice —orange, papaya, lemon… anything and everything was fair game. It freaked people out in high school when he'd turn beer down to instead drink apple juice.

Bella disagreed.

"No way dude, your dad's great. Sure, every time he laughs the house shakes, but that's what's great about him."

Emmett didn't answer for a couple of beats, getting a lost look briefly before snapping back to the present.

"Where'd you go?"

"Bells… I know you never want to talk about this, but… How are things with your dad?"

He was right; she _didn't_ want to talk about it.

"Oh, you know. I spent the whole time avoiding him, cooking dinner or doing laundry. Same as always. I went to the beach a couple of times, but it's freezing cold out there even in summer so I mostly stayed in the car."

The summer before ninth grade, Bella had gone to Forks and come back not speaking to her father. Emmett didn't know what had happened —he'd asked endlessly, but she never answered— and somehow nobody knew, either. Renée and Phil had asked him a hundred times to please tell them what had happened, but he truly never knew. Renée called and called Charlie, but he'd always tell her he wouldn't talk about it if Bella didn't. This had led to the exes becoming even more estranged from each other, much to Renée's frustration. Ever since then, Bella went back to her father's town once a year for two weeks —and not a day longer. Emmett only remembered that that summer she'd been gone the whole three months; when she'd come back, she'd looked a fake happy that had unsettled him for a few weeks before she'd eventually gone back to normal.

Emmett sighed.

"Are you ever going to tell me what happened? I mean, this was five years ago, Bells. Can't you tell me?"

Bella pursed her lips, thinking about it. If she wanted to say anything at all.

"It's just… hard. I don't know how to tell you, to be honest, not right now. I _will_ , just… with time."

 _A long ass time_ , Bella swore to herself.

"You really know how to worry people, Bell," Emmett sighed, yawning. The two of them were lying on the floor just looking up at the roof, battling off sleep for the last forty minutes left to the day.

"Hey, have you talked to Alice recently? By any chance?" Bella asked casually, and when Emmett grunted, she knew she'd failed.

"No, can't say I did. I think she stayed in New York for the summer, didn't she?" Emmett asked, and Bella confirmed it. "Why?"

She bit down on her bottom lip.

"Um, she's… Well, she might or might not be going steady with someone. She met him during the summer."

"Oh," Emmett mumbled, glaring at nothing. "What did she tell you?"

"Just that," Bella lied. "That they met in one of her summer classes, photography I think. She… she seems happy."

That was the truth. Alice had been bursting with excitement when she'd called Bella in June, beyond herself with how much she liked this new guy. The problem?

When Alice sent her the picture of her new beau, it was none other than Jasper Whitlock.

Apparently, Jasper had gone all the way to New York for those summer classes which were open to whoever. Bella recalled Jasper taking pictures around campus, often catching her off guard with a sneaky picture. The two had spent the whole summer attached at the hip —and the dick— getting to know each other in a way that had surprised Alice. He was the typical southern charmer, Alice had told Bella, and he was also going to college in Arizona.

"Have you seen him around, by any chance?" Alice had asked. Bella, face stiff, had been unable to lie to her friend through FaceTime.

"Um, yeah. His cousin is sort of my… roommate."

Then Alice had dedicated two hours to grill Bella on all she knew about Jasper, about his relationship with Emmett, and to beg her not to tell her ex-boyfriend about the current boyfriend. Bella had agreed, but she couldn't _not_ tell Emmett that his ex was moving on.

"I'm glad," Emmett finally replied, and though it wasn't a lie, he wished he could identify what he really felt. "Is he from New York?"

Oh, damn it. Instead of lying, Bella diverted.

"Em, stop it. Don't fish for information."

Bella thanked her lucky stars that Alice didn't have a Facebook, and that Jasper only uploaded pictures about nature or city-life. Otherwise, things would get awkward pretty quickly.

"Fine. I'm just… it feels weird. We went out for so long and yet less than a year later she can date someone else." Emmett took a deep breath, giving his best friend a half smile when he felt her rest her head on his arm and give his chest a pat.

"You're doing well, my dude. You're almost there. I think it was probably easier for her because _you_ broke it off with _her_ , maybe. She's not wrong for wanting to move on as soon as she can, but you're not wrong either for wanting to mourn your relationship as long as you need to."

Emmett gave a deep sigh.

"You know, sometimes I really wish I'd just fallen in love with you. Wouldn't life be much easier for us? I mean, everyone already thinks we're secretly into each other," Emmett complained, making Bella snort.

"I would kill you if I had to bear your snoring every single night. Em, we both know we're not together because neither of us want that. You were happy with Alice, and you'll be happy with someone else. You'll be fine."

Emmett groaned, hating it when Bella spoke the truth about anything.

"I'm just so surprised by how shit went down between you and Cullen. Like, you went from pining for him to making out on your second date. That's the power your ass holds, Swan."

Emmett really felt that Bella's beauty had more to do with her body than her face (which was a stunning face, but her body was to die for). It felt sometimes like quite a few people felt this way, which to be honest, made her as proud as it made her feel hurt.

"I just…" Bella sighed dreamily, ignoring his last statement. "Like him _so_ much, you know? He's the nicest guy out there —no, _you're_ not it, Mr. Your Ass Has Power. And I have such a great time when I'm with him; he's the kind of guy you feel secure in pouring your heart out to, but also _really_ want to bang."

Emmett made a face.

"Was that necessary?" Bella giggled in reply. "I can't believe you think he's hot. I don't see it. I think it's the obscene amount of hair gel he uses."

Bella blew him off.

"You're just saying that because Edward's not as buff as you. I'll have you know though that he's got a six pack, and he's got a v…" Bella laughed when Emmett put a paw over her mouth, and even though she couldn't see it, she could bet he was fake gagging. She would've licked his palm to get it off, but not only did she doubt it would work, she didn't know where that hand had been.

"It's not just that. I simply don't see it."

Bella shrugged, pulling his hand off.

"Of course not. But I do, which is why _I_ like him." Bella sighed, a smile plastering itself on her face when she thought about the boy she liked. "He's… I feel like he's just worth it, you know? Like I didn't miss out on some huge experience of liking an endless amount of boys."

Emmett decided to tease her.

"So you want him to be your first and your last?"

Bella thought about it seriously, as she did with everything else.

"I don't know. Only time will tell. But it'd be nice if that was the case, I think."

Emmett got her, because he knew that both he and Bella were the old-fashioned type. He, because of his older parents, and Bella because of hanging out with him a lifetime.

"Does it bother you that you won't be his first and only?"

Bella _really_ needed a cigarette with that question.

"I mean, only if you put it _that_ way, you asshole. It's not something I think about, at least. I mean, I can't change the fact that he dated Kate. And it's not like I'm gonna date someone else just to make our numbers even out. I guess it's just one of those things that doesn't make me happy, but that I can live with."

Bella had found that she really wasn't a jealous person, which was good because Edward had told her once that it had seriously bothered him how possessive Kate had been every once in a while, especially when they'd been seniors. Back then, when he'd told her that Kate had even been jealous of Bella, it had made her a little smug —but she'd mostly felt bad for the boy she liked. It couldn't be easy having a partner that was so insecure.

"Oh, fine, fine. I was just saying, woman. Geez."

Bella elbowed him.

"I'll be fine, Em. No need to worry."

* * *

 **But must he? Lol. Thanks so much to all of y'all who read my long ass author's notes; sometimes I rant a bit too much, but meh. I have fun, so whatevs. I have a confession to make (which I'm pretty sure I've made before): I live in Mexico, even if I'm not Mexican (immigrant over here). I don't know how up to date everyone is with the local happenings, but we've got a new president, who is perhaps as controversial (more or less) than the US sitting president. Well, this president is tackling gasoline corruption (lots of thieves stole it from pipelines and stuff), which means that nation-wide there's a shortage of fuel, or as the president put it, a bad distribution. Thing is, Mexicans don't really trust their government -and even if the president says there's enough gasoline, no one believes him. Mass hysteria happened, and now gas stations all over the country keep closing. Yesterday, my dad and I went on a gas-searching date; it took us an hour to get through the line, and it was a fast-moving one. Thing is, since I have to travel to far-away hospitals and _then_ college, I end up using like 60 km worth of fuel every single day (I'm too lazy to make the conversion, sorry US readers), and I live in an area poorly connected to public transport so I _need_ fuel. I was meant to see one of my friends yesterday, and he cancelled last minute because he'd been waiting in line all afternoon to get his tank filled; he said there were a hundred cars in line. Am I going anywhere with this story? No. I just wanted to let everyone know a piece of international news.**

 **Leah.**

 **P.S. I lost track of which reviews I'd replied to, so I'm sorry if I didn't. I swear I'll pay more attention. But I read them all, so thanks so much to y'all who took the time, and even if you didn't, thanks for reading anyway!**


	4. Smooth Sailing

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

* * *

It turned out that Bella's virginity was a bigger part in their relationship than she'd thought it would be.

September and October went by in a flash. Bella's birthday came and went, and much to her great joy Edward actually remembered (he had a terrible memory, she'd found) and they went on a date. He took her to a park that was further out but really beautiful and private, plus he _actually_ cooked for her.

So the months went by, and two things became clear to Bella: one, that she was incredibly close to falling madly in love with Edward Anthony Cullen. And two, that he was scared about being her first. It was clear when he refused to take things further than second base despite his erections, and it was clear every time the word virgin was brought up. He even reacted when someone said 'extra-virgin olive oil', which was frankly hilarious. Every time she tried asking him about it, he'd somehow divert the conversation to something or other. He seemed to be waiting for something, but Bella wasn't sure what it was.

Going beyond the physical part, Bella had discovered what it was like to live being mindful of another person as opposed to just herself. Honestly? She'd had a hard time adjusting. The first couple of weeks she'd had to remind herself that she _wanted_ to see Edward, even if it meant less time for comics. Fortunately for her, though, with time he'd started getting more and more projects to do —so what little time they had to themselves, Bella learned to enjoy to the fullest by doing everything else she needed to do during the week in order to clear some time for him. Calling him every night, too, had been odd; she'd never talked so often with anybody other than Emmett, and even then they mostly liked socializing in silence after sharing a couple of words. Charlie had never been a big talker either, and Renée was such a talker that Phil and Bella usually just listened. She could tell Edward had a hard time with that, too; he was often complaining that she just let him talk and talk and never said anything about her day. But she _tried_ , and once Edward understood that he wasn't not letting her speak, he finally let up on trying to get her to say more. Bella loved hearing him talk about his day, anyway; he usually had a funny story or two to tell, and he was a great storyteller anyway. So while calling him every day they didn't meet had been a little weird at first, it had quickly become the favorite part of her day.

Something else that had been hard for Edward to adapt to had been Emmett. Even now, Em would flip between being the jolly giant he was and an overprotective brother. One day he'd be joking around with Edward, and the next he'd be glaring at him every time Edward even glanced in Bella's direction. The small grace in all that was that Bella would jump in as soon as she realized what was going on, saying or doing something that would divert the attention from him. That, and the fact that Bella let Edward tell her he was annoyed or pissed with something Emmett did; Kate had always made out her friends to be saints, so he'd always swallowed every snide comment they'd made about him. Bella listened, and she only defended Emmett when she knew the friction was due to Em not being used to Bella dating, or when it was meant as a joke. He also struggled with the best friends' nearness, but that was something he just had to learn to adapt to; he knew it had to do with the fact that he didn't really have female friends (except Bella), and with all the rumors that had always gone around in high school that Bella and Emmett had been secretly dating. More than being jealous of Emmett as a man, Edward felt he was more jealous of Emmett as the best friend. This part, though, he'd die before telling Bella —she loved Emmett, and Edward would never dream of telling her to pull away from him. He still couldn't help the shot of anxiety that went through him at the thought of Bella liking Emmett better than she liked him, which was dumb since you didn't like your friends the same way you liked your significant other.

Apart of those hurdles, Bella and Edward were on cloud nine. They loved spending time with each other, and they enjoyed the process of getting to know each other as a partner. And it really _was_ different dating someone than being friends, leaving the physical part aside —Edward liked complimenting Bella on _something_ every single day. Bella stopped making fart jokes. Edward couldn't go a day without knowing if she was back home safely. Bella started cooking for Edward on Sundays. Edward could interrupt Bella reading a comic and _not_ get his cheeks pinched. Bella could finally pick the music in Edward's car without him trying to immediately switch it back (he waited a few songs before doing it). Edward could text Bella that he was thinking about her and it wasn't weird. Bella made an effort to be nice before eight in the morning when he called to wake her up (which was actually _her_ request, since she was aiming to be more productive this semester). Edward learned that, contrary to what he'd thought, Bella didn't really miss smoking, which relieved him a lot. On her end, Bella found if she promised Edward desserts he'd slow down while he drove just enough to not make her feel like puking.

In other words, they were happy together.

"Ok, so _that's_ what you're gonna wear?" Alice chortled, seemingly having the time of her life with Bella's Halloween costume. "You're gonna give that boy the bluest balls in history."

Bella was, God willing, going to give Edward a heart attack. She was wearing the costume from one of her favorite female manga characters; lately, she'd been getting into Japanese comics, and so she'd discovered Erza from _Fairy Tail_ had the best outfit changes. So, presently she was wearing lose red pants ( _hakama_ , actually) with flames at the bottom, a top made of white bandages that covered her boobs and her hair in a high ponytail with red spray painted on her hair to give it a reddish tint. She knew herself, and she'd be taking off a wig before she even left her dorm. The costume was also supposed to have swords, but no way was she taking those to just carry them all night and, least of all, to a place filled with drunkards. She'd gotten one of those fake tattoos on her left arm —one of the character's must-haves— of the guild Erza belonged to.

Not only was the costume incredibly cool, comfortable and sexy, Edward would recognize it; she'd made him start watching the anime, and had him hooked on it since April. He didn't really like reading comics, but the man could binge-watch a show like nobody's business. They'd decided not to tell each other what they'd be going as to Jake's Halloween party. Jacob had been doing an associate's degree in automotive technology, as in he was certifying himself in order to work as a mechanic, which meant that he hadn't moved out of his parents' house. His folks would be out of town though, so he'd decided to invite his basketball friends who'd gone on to ASU and his other friends (which was a shit ton of people, given how popular Jake was).

"I hope so," Bella gave a mischievous smile.

"Also, where's Rose? I haven't seen her in a while," Alice frowned, and even in the video her displeasure was palpable. Bella shrugged.

"Dunno. I actually haven't been seeing her around much lately, which is a lot to say since I rarely saw her before anyway. I actually kind of feel like she's been avoiding me lately," Bella frowned back, actually feeling hurt at the possibility of the blonde purposefully leaving the dorm before she woke up and getting back once she was asleep.

"Did something happen?"

Bella searched the deepest corners of her mind but had no answer.

"Not that I can tell."

The two girls made a face at each other —that face you gave your friend when you'd exhausted your options after not trying very hard— and then Alice suddenly lit up.

"Oh, that's Jasper. Sorry to hang up on you, B, but—"

And then Alice cut off the FaceTime with a not-at-all-sorry face. But Bella didn't mind; she'd get back at her eventually. Just as she was turning off her computer, a knock resounded on the door. Quickly, she grabbed her phone, keys and wallet and stuffed them into the pants' pockets.

Grinning evilly, Bella skipped over.

The moment she opened the door, though, she just burst out laughing.

Edward was dressed as Chuckie Finster Sr, the father of the redheaded kid from _Rugrats_. He'd spray-painted his glasses purple, wore a purple bow-tie, and had a brown-ish shirt with vertical lines as well as dark green pants with suspenders. He'd managed to find one of the few redheaded characters and somehow _perfectly_ embodied the man.

On his end, Edward had a hard time breathing. Bella was putting on display her hourglass figure, having her non-existent abs exposed and the pants perfectly showing off her hips. Bella had an amazing body, and it actually suited her to have boobs that tended towards the smaller size —she had such a curvy but small body that it would've probably looked disproportionate on her to have big boobs _and_ a big ass. The latter she most definitely had, to Edward's great pleasure.

Still, Bella's costume made Edward shift in order to subtly re-accommodate himself.

"I love your costume," Bella laughed, reaching up to tug at his bowtie. "This is especially adorable."

Edward made a fake-mad face.

"Adorable?"

"Manly, I meant," Bella giggled, pulling it a little harder. "Where's my kiss?"

Grinning, he bent down and gave her a quick peck.

"Better?"

She pouted.

"Insufficient," Bella said, but ultimately sighed. "But it'll have to do since I don't think Chuckie Finster wore red lipstick."

Edward winked at her.

"I don't mind," he said, lacing his fingers through hers. "Though we should probably get going. Jake's waiting for me to bring the beer."

Even though he wasn't behind or anything, Edward was a year older than most of his classmates; apparently, it had something to do with his birthday and the school's administration back when they enrolled him into kindergarten. This meant that on Edward's birthday this year, Jake had designated his best friend the 'alcohol-buyer' over text while Bella and Edward where in Disney. Already he was sick of his new position.

Together, the couple made their way to Jake's place, making small talk to pass the time. Well, Bella did. Edward was lost in his own worries, because it had taken him until that very moment to realize that Bella was not, in fact, his girlfriend.

How hadn't he realized? They'd been dating for two months already, and he was confident neither was seeing anybody else. They'd even talked about sex, and already Edward had smuggled himself into Bella's Netflix account (she had his Spotify). For all intents and purposes, they were an item. And yet, it had somehow escaped his notice to ask the greatest woman he'd ever met to be officially his partner.

And great she was. Bella had a dry sense of humor which had him cracking up all the time, and she wasn't afraid to let her opinion be known —they often disagreed on things like politics and religion, but both did their best to listen to the other one. They didn't shy away from topics that made the other uncomfortable either, simply sticking to respectfully disagreeing. With Kate, for instance, this had been a challenge —both Edward and Kate had had different opinions, but Kate would always make him feel like he was dumb for thinking the way he did, which was why he never commented on anything of importance with her. Now, it felt refreshening to disagree and still feel good about himself and about the girl he liked. Plus, Bella didn't pry into every detail of his life; he was quite an open person, so he usually ended up sharing everything with her, but he didn't feel like he _had_ to tell Bella that he'd had lunch with one of his female classmates or that he'd gotten partnered up with a girl. Honestly, he hadn't felt so oppressed when he'd been dating Kate, but after having dated Bella for just two months, he could feel the stark difference between them. Kate, while a very kind person that had a lot of love to give and always let you feel hers, was an insecure person. Bella, on the other hand, was so sure of herself and of him that she didn't feel the need to reaffirm her feelings at every turn; she was a little dryer with her feelings, but whatever you gave her, she gave back. During one of their first dates, Edward had asked her why she'd never had a boyfriend before, even though so many guys had been clearly willing.

 _"_ _Well, the last two years because they weren't you, I guess," Bella had blushed furiously, making his heart melt. "And before that… I was good by myself. I had a lot of things to work through on my own, and didn't feel it was fair to make someone give me what I could not give myself. I'm dating you because I like you, not because I want to like who I am."_

The reply had been everything to him, and Edward wondered why he hadn't asked her on the spot to be his girlfriend. He'd been surprised to hear that answer —he remembered when he'd heard Jake talk about one of his ex-girlfriends; she'd said that she was terrified of being alone, which was why she was always in a relationship. Jake had liked that, at the time, feeling prideful and needed. Edward thought perhaps too many people lived this way: not feeling good enough, but needing anyone just in case they ended up alone. Once, when he'd been on a party, he'd been taking care of his friend Jim; he'd just broken up with his girlfriend and was puking out his dinner after drinking too much. He'd started mumbling, over and over, that he hated himself; Edward had pointed out that in order to be happy in a relationship, both members needed to love themselves. Jim said, "That's not true. I fucking hate myself and look how much she loved me." Which kind of just proved Edward's point, since Jim's girlfriend found a new man within weeks and looked happier than she'd ever been. Dating someone like Bella, who was clearly comfortable in her own skin, was the relief of a burden Edward hadn't known he had.

Edward thought about this all through the thirty-minute ride to Jake's house, keeping up the mindless chatter with Bella. He held her hand in his, and he thought the whole time how badly he wanted that hand to be with him for many more days. Bella made him happy —and he wanted to give something in return. It was like a loop in his head —he wanted to ask Bella to be his girlfriend, but he was worried she'd say no for some reason. What if she was the type that said she didn't like labels? What if she met tonight someone who was much better than him and swept her off her feet? It could happen; Bella deserved the world, and sometimes he asked himself if he was enough.

"Oh, there's so many cars here already!"

Not right now.

* * *

"So, are you here on your own?" A guy dressed like Peter Pan slurred, tilting to the side slightly and sloshing some of his beer. Fortunately for him, Bella was also too drunk to care he'd just spilled some beer on her pants.

"Nope," Bella giggled, squinting her eyes and looking past the guy's shoulder. "But I can't find them. Have you seen Chuckie Finster?"

The guy blinked rapidly, frowning and shaking his head no.

"How about Michael Jackson?"

Again, the guy said no.

"Damn," Bella sighed. In her inebriated state she couldn't tell the difference between a werewolf and a Michael Jackson costume, though Jake had repeatedly told her he was _not_ , in fact, dressed as the singer.

"Swan! It's been a long ass time since I last saw you!" A voice hollered behind her, and squinting her eyes to see through the fog, Bella made out one James Hunter approaching her. He was dressed as… nothing… but his eyes were zeroed in on her costume. Bella didn't like the feeling, so she instantly started looking around for Edward; he'd left her five minutes ago with Nessa, who'd then gone to the bathroom and had left her on her own. Now here she was talking to a guy she didn't know and trying to run away from one she did.

"Hi James," Bella greeted, giving him a polite smile. "Little over a year, I think."

"Yeah, yeah! Since McCarty's party, right? It was wild then, wasn't it? Funny to see you here, though. I never caught you at any of the parties in high school, and now that we're out I count two," James smirked, coming to a stop next to Bella. She smelled vodka and even a little tequila, which made her feel bad for his stomach.

"Well, college and all you know. How's Victoria, by the way? I haven't seen her since the graduation party," Bella said, referring to James' girlfriend. He made a face.

"We're on a break. She can really wear a man down sometimes," James dismissed the thought of his on and off again girlfriend, deciding instead to focus on the girl he'd lusted after all of middle school. He'd never had a chance to talk to her at a party —his turf— but now he finally had the opportunity, seeing as there was no sign of McCarty nearby.

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," Bella hiccuped, noticing then that the guy who'd been talking to her had scrammed. Oh well.

"I'm not. It happens often," James rolled his eyes. "You here with someone?"

Bella nodded.

"Yup, my boyfriend," Bella smiled, blushing at her own words. Shit-faced as she was, the thought of dating Edward made her tingle all over.

" _Boyfriend?_ " James let his jaw drop, unable to believe the unattainable beauty had finally found someone that suit her standards. Heavens knew she'd never thought _he_ was good enough, much to his chagrin. "He from college?"

Bella was about to answer when she felt warm hands on her waist and a kiss on the crown of her head —Edward's signature move.

"James, s'up?" Edward nodded in the asshole's direction, feeling like the king of the world when Bella leaned back into him with a happy sigh.

" _Cullen?_ " James blinked disbelievingly, wondering if it was all the alcohol. "Are _you_ her boyfriend?"

Not technically, but Edward wasn't going to get hung up on the details right now.

"Yup. Why?" Edward was about to say something else when he suddenly felt Bella's warm lips next to his ear.

"I'm tired, Chuck," Bella whispered, turning around in his arms so she could hook her arms around his neck. Without further warning, she suddenly gave a little jump so she could also lock her ankles behind Edward's back. Surprised, Edward caught her in time, putting his hands below her ass to hold her up.

"Sorry about that, but I think we're gonna have to go. Bella's kinda drunk," Edward explained, shivering when Bella laid a kiss on his neck. "See you around, James."

Then Edward left the party, girlfriend clinging onto him like a monkey.

The moment they'd stepped outside, Edward playfully pinched her ass.

"Ow!"

"I know you're not _that_ drunk, baby," Edward said, doing his very best to focus on anything other than Bella's heat being pressed tightly against his stomach. Because it was.

"I just don't like James. The way he looks at women…" Bella shivered, and Edward did his very best to keep his temper in check. Both of them knew he'd never stand a chance against Hunter in a fight. "I only ever like _you_ looking at me like I'm something to eat."

"I do that?"

"You do," Bella acknowledged, not sounding the least bit upset about it. "Which is fine, because I look at you that way too."

It _did_ so please him to hear that.

"I've noticed," Edward teased. He splayed a hand across Bella's back, the other one still laying on her ass. "Want me to take you home?"

Bella shook her head no.

"I want to sleep at your place," Bella mumbled. "Your bed's like heaven."

It really was, but still, it felt odd to relent to a drunk person's request.

"You sure?"

She nodded.

Edward asked again, but by then it was too late —Bella was out like a light, and Edward had to carry her dead weight to the car, drive home, and then carry her up the stairs to his apartment. Once they were inside, Edward set to work on cleaning Bella up; he undid her painful-looking ponytail, took off her makeup with one of the wet tissues he had, and once he was done debating himself, took off her outfit and replaced it with one of his shirts and sweatpants. While he did so, he tried not to look at her nearly-naked state, and only glanced a couple of times. When she had the shirt on he took off her bra, having heard her complain enough about what a pain it was to know she'd hate him in the morning if he hadn't. Within minutes he was out, too, holding Bella tight against him in his sleep.

* * *

Bella woke up to a weight on her chest. Still sleepy, she cracked an eye open to see a head full of red hair resting comfortably between her boobs, Edward's arms wrapped around her waist like a vice. And if she wasn't mistaken, the wetness she felt was Edward drooling on top of her. She smiled to herself but didn't otherwise move; she knew he had to be tired from yesterday's antics, so she wanted to try and let him sleep. She'd been half awake when he'd been changing her yesterday, but hadn't let him know —she felt like being spoiled yesterday, and he was very good at it, too.

About half an hour went by of Bella absentmindedly running her fingers through Edward's hair, thinking about how lucky she was to have this boy all to herself. That his kindness, which she'd once longed for, was now directed at her; not exclusively, but _more_. And though love was selfless, it could also very well be selfish. She didn't want him being kind only, but _especially_ , to her. It made her deliriously happy when she thought of how he'd looked at her when she'd opened her dorm's door, and also when he'd wordlessly caught her when she'd jumped on him.

"What're you thinking about?" Edward asked sleepily, wiggling up and to the side so he could be on eye level with her and also, not crushing her. Bella _really_ appreciated the wiggling. She turned, smiling when she saw his crusty eyes.

"You," she said honestly, giggling when he blushed. She picked the crust from his eyes mindlessly. "How much I like you."

"God, you're gonna kill me one day," Edward groaned, burying his face in his pillow. She leaned closer and kissed the back of his ear.

"Hopefully not. I like you too much to let you go," Bella tugged on his hair, thinking. "You know, I really like your hair when you've just woken up."

"I really don't like how it looks so unorganized."

Bella hummed.

"Well, can't you leave it like this on special occasions? For me. It's nice running my fingers through your hair, and that's kind of hard to do with gel," Bella confessed, hoping that her wish would get the green light. Edward considered it.

"Only if every time I do, you wear that eyeliner I like," Edward compromised. He liked how it made her eyes pop, but she was always saying what a pain it was.

"Deal!" Bella replied, so quickly Edward knew it was just how badly she liked his hair like this. Not to mention, he appreciated how she didn't ask him to change himself, or said she didn't like how he usually had it; it wasn't hard to realize she really did prefer it this way, but also that she wasn't in the business of shaping him into her type. Kate had asked him once to stop doing his hair that way, and in response, he'd never gone a day with Kate where his hair wasn't perfectly gelled or waxed. She'd gotten the message: he wasn't about to _change_ who he was no matter how much he loved her. With Bella, though, he didn't mind doing it every once in a while if it made her happy.

Which brought on a much more pressing issue.

"What are we?" Edward suddenly asked, confusing Bella. He turned on his side, propping up so he was laying his cheek on his hand. He pressed his lips together, assessing Bella for a moment before continuing. "I mean, we're together, but… are we official?"

Bella blinked, still confused.

"I'm not sure where this question is coming from," Bella said honestly. Had she somehow messed up?

"I just mean, yesterday you introduced me as your boyfriend. But we haven't made it official, right? So what I mean is—"

Yeah, she got the gist of it.

"I don't need you to ask me, nor do I want some grand event in order to confirm this. You're my boyfriend… unless you don't want to be."

Insecurity threatened to creep up on her; maybe he hadn't asked because he didn't want it, and had found it awful yesterday to be called her boyfriend. Maybe it had been presumptuous of her to just say it like that? Maybe he didn't really believe in labels? What if—

"Are you asking me to be your boyfriend?" Edward whispered, smiling to himself when he saw Bella blush.

"Well yeah, since you aren't going to."

He laughed.

"Well _yeah_ , I want to be your boyfriend." Edward laid a kiss on his girlfriend. "Are you hungry?"

"Not particularly," Bella confessed, giggling when Edward immediately dove under the covers. He wiggled his way under her shirt and laid his head on her boobs.

"Good. Be my pillow then. Wake me up when you want breakfast."

"Edward, your head is _heavy_!"

"It's the weight of my beauty. Can you handle it?" Before Bella could retort, Edward was already snoring softly, making her sigh in defeat. Not that she really minded, and a few minutes later, she was out as well.

* * *

The weeks went by, and the new couple adapted well to their new status. If anything, it was much harder getting used to being together than a label; all it meant was that Bella teased Edward a lot by referring to him as 'boyfriend' every chance she could. She'd even saved him on her phone as Boyfriend #1, much to his annoyance. He tried playing the same game and saved her as Girlfriend #2, but _that_ resulted in him almost getting his ear chewed off. He learned there was a difference in making that joke when you were the only ever boyfriend… and when you _were_ , in fact, the second girlfriend. He didn't think Bella had minded that much, but whereas he was just slightly annoyed by the joke, he could tell she was moderately hurt. And that was enough for him to stop doing it. He was still fighting his case though and was making good progress on removing the #1 from his contact.

One thing that _did_ happen in the following weeks?

Bella's fallout with Emmett.

Nobody had seen it coming, least of all his girlfriend. The two had gone over to bully Emmett with their newly declared relationship and had let themselves into his room, unannounced, only to find him, _well_ , pounding away at Rosalie.

Edward saw _much_ more of Emmett than he'd ever wanted to see, and his first reaction had been to try and cover Bella's eyes. But when he saw the fury in them, he decided it probably wasn't the first time she saw Emmett naked and that his hand would be in danger if it tried blocking Bella's line of sight.

"How could you? _Both_ of you," Bella spat, feeling her anger attempt to swallow her whole. Emmett and Rosalie hadn't said a thing, though they'd had the decency to put the blankets around themselves. With tears threatening to overflow, she locked eyes with Rose. "Especially you, Rosalie. I told you he was off limits, didn't I? But you just _had_ to…" Edward squeezed her hand hard, not wanting her to say anything she'd regret. Bella bit back her words, thankful for the man beside her.

"Bella, you're being unfair. You don't own me, and you don't control Rose." Emmett said, angry that his best friend wasn't being supportive. That she wasn't giving them a chance to explain.

It hurt Bella to hear him say that. Did he think _that's_ what bothered her most?

"Come on, Edward. I need friends who won't lie because they're scared of me."

With that, Bella slammed the door to Emmett's room and marched her way to her own room, Edward in tow.

"Help me pack? I don't want to stay here for a while. I'm going home," Bella fumed, opening and closing drawers while stuffing a duffel bag.

"Stay with me tonight. You're in no condition to drive, not to mention it's late. Please, Bella. Let me be there for you."

Closing her duffel bag, she suddenly clammed up. She just nodded and let Edward lead her to his car, thankful at a time like this to know she had a place to sleep with someone who gave two shits about her.

When they got to Edward's apartment, he immediately made her hot chocolate and brought it to her on the bed. She was wearing his clothes —not a good time to get excited buddy— and curled into a ball in the middle of the bed. He set the hot chocolate on the bedside table and crawled beside her, facing Bella.

"Talk to me?" Edward whispered, worried about how she still hadn't said a word in twenty minutes.

"They lied to me for… God, months, maybe. I think that's why Rose has been avoiding me. And Em… I thought he'd been weird since he got back from camp. Do you think…? Heck, they've probably been together since then and _lying_ to me about it." Bella blurted out, catching her breath at the last thought. It physically hurt, and she couldn't even begin to explain how much.

"Why are you so against it baby?" Edward asked, running a hand through her hair to help soothe her.

"I'm not against _anything_ , Edward. I mean, I asked Rosalie not to bang Emmett, but I knew she'd crushed on him in the beginning. I even told her all I wanted was for her to have serious feelings for him and I wouldn't interfere. But then she never spoke of it again, and _he_ never seemed to give her much mind, so I thought that was that. I didn't want them dating, ok? I knew that, like it always happened, Em and his girlfriend would break up and I'd be stuck in the middle trying to preserve the peace. It broke me inside when he and Alice ended things, you know? Having to side with him when I _knew_ how much it hurt Ali and how mean his move had been. But I did, because he's my best friend, and Ali was the only ex-girlfriend not to ask me to side with her. And I really like Rose, but I knew if they dated I'd stop getting close to her as an act of self-preservation. You know what's worse? Feeling like Rose chose _him_ … and _he_ chose _her_. I practically begged him, Edward, _begged_ him, not to bang Rose. And he looked me in the eye… and promised he wouldn't."

By now she was full on sobbing, and instead of holding her tight like he wanted to Edward just let her cry it out while she talked. She was nearly done, he felt.

"And then he has the gall to tell me I don't _own_ him? That I don't _control_ Rosalie? As if I ever tried! Emmett and I _never_ lie to each other, and he's probably been lying to me for months. It makes me feel like I must be some type of selfish monster if they were _that_ scared to be honest."

Note to self: never lie to Bella. Not even a white lie.

Feeling his heart hurt for his girlfriend, he tried talking to her about their point of view.

"Baby, maybe they just didn't want to hurt you and needed time to think of a way to tell you." Edward suggested, but knew it was the wrong thing to say when the hurt in Bella's eyes doubled.

"Edward, _please_ , just… agree with me? Right now, I don't want to see the other side of things. All I want is to cry and curse them out and feel I've got _someone_ on my side." Her voice cracked, and finally he couldn't take it anymore and simply crushed her to his chest.

"Bella, I'm _always_ on your side. But I get what you're saying, so we'll leave that part for tomorrow, ok?" He resisted crying when her sobbing intensified, aching inside at the wrenching sound of her heartbreak.

The two fell asleep holding each other tightly.

The next morning Bella and Edward spent hours dissecting every moment between Rose and Emmett that could've meant more. Hours of Bella cursing the couple and Edward trying to remind her that it wasn't the end of the world while acknowledging what they'd done was hurtful. It was a thin line between supporting and unhelpful, and Edward wanted to show his girlfriend he was reliable at times like this. And, despite how badly he'd wanted this time apart between Bella and the linebacker, it hadn't been like _this_ : he couldn't be happy that Bella was hurting and on the verge of ending such a long friendship over something she'd regret.

In the afternoon Bella left for Renée's, and at night Emmett showed up at Edward's doorstep.

"Emmett? What are you doing here?" Edward blinked, letting the linebacker into his apartment nonetheless.

"Is Bella here?"

Edward frowned.

"No, she's back at her mom's. I think she'll be staying there until Thanksgiving at the very least," Edward theorized. "If you go now, you could be back before midnight."

But Emmett shook his head no.

"I'm here to talk to you man. I know Bella, and she's not gonna want to hear from me until Christmas."

"I thought you'd never fought before."

"No, but she _has_ fought with other people, and she's a petty little thing I tell ya." Edward frowned, not liking the way Emmett was talking about his girlfriend. His displeasure must've shown on his face because the linebacker raised his hands in defeat. "I mean, she always forgives, but it takes her some time."

Edward pulled out a beer from the fridge (he still didn't drink but people were always leaving alcohol at his place) and laid it out in front of Emmett. They sat around the kitchen island, Emmett nursing his beer and Edward a cup of coffee.

"So, how is she man?"

Edward shrugged.

"Kinda devastated, dude. She didn't even want breakfast. She's got it in her head that she's the worst friend in existence because neither of you wanted to come clean to her."

Emmett groaned, half expecting that's what was going on through his best friend's head.

"What were we fucking supposed to do, Cullen? She was so vehement about Rosie and I not dating that neither of us knew how to bring it up!"

"Yeah, but both of you chose to keep it from her. You know Bella. She's not upset that she caught you fucking, dude. She's hurt because she knows you two have been lying to her for months. I know why you did it, and I get it; that could've been Bella and I in an alternate reality. But that's as far as I can sympathize with you, Em. She's my girlfriend, and I can't stand to see how hurt she is. It's up to you and Rose to make amends."

"But how can we, if Bella ran away from us? She fucking _always_ does that. Instead of talking shit out like adults, she fucking runs away and…" Emmett cut himself off when he saw that Edward's face was getting more and more menacing. "Fine. I'll talk to her. But not tonight, man; she really _does_ need some time."

They spent the rest of the night watching a rerun from last night's soccer game, neither wanting to broach the subject any longer.

One week later, Bella still wasn't talking to Emmett or Rose. She couldn't even talk about it with Alice for obvious reasons, and she didn't want to bore Edward with the same speech over and over again. So she resorted to her trustworthy friend, Angela.

"I can't _believe_ them, B! Especially Emmett, he's supposed to be your best friend," Angela shook her head in disappointment, and Bella sighed in relief. Finally! Someone who _got_ her.

"I know right! And get this —he even had the balls to visit Edward the next day. What, did he think my boyfriend wouldn't tell me?"

"What'd he say?"

"Dunno. Edward won't tell me and I got tired of pushing after two days. He's a stubborn man," Bella huffed, chewing down on her fries angrily. "What does a girl have to do so people will be honest with her?"

They kept up their furious ranting for a few minutes, and then it died down. Angela treaded carefully.

"So… When are you hearing them out?"

Bella groaned.

"Preferably, never. I don't know who I'm most hurt by —Emmett or Rosalie. I feel like they both messed with me and I just can't determine who fucked me the hardest."

Angela laughed.

"B, you _do_ know they didn't mean to hurt you, right? At the very least?"

"I know that," Bella mumbled.

"And if they were dating for months, they probably like each other a lot, right? It wasn't just some fling?"

"Sure," Bella sank in her chair. Chuckling, Angela leaned forward so she was meeting Bella's eyes.

"Ok, so it's time to get over it, don't you think? Or give them a chance to apologize. They shouldn't have lied to you, and I know that's what bothers you most, but you probably pushed them a lot to not have a relationship, right? What would you have done in Emmett's shoes, if _he'd_ made you choose between him and Edward?"

"That's what bothers me! I _didn't_ make him choose. It's not like I threatened to dump him if he got together with Rose, and it's not like I ever suspected he liked her. I thought she just crushed on him, you know? Thought he was hot but nothing more. If they'd, oh I dunno, _talked_ to me, I would've heard them out. As it is, I feel like they're making me out to be Lady Montague or something."

Angela laughed at the last part.

"Bella, talk to them. They could've handled the situation better, but they didn't. They made a mistake. You've probably made a couple and will make a couple more, and you'll want that second chance, won't you? So stop overthinking and _listen_."

Even though Angela's piece of wisdom was sound, it took Bella another week to see it. She'd gone to the movies with Edward (and they'd both fallen asleep halfway through), and when they were going out they bumped into Emmett and Rosalie. There was an awkward pause at first where nobody knew what to say —poor Edward was the only person not directly involved and he was _not_ about to make the first move.

"Hey Bella," Rose was the first to greet. Despite how much Bella wanted to flee the scene, she said hi back; she wasn't a rude person, and she'd be damned if she ever became one. Once she had, she saw Emmett lose some tension in his shoulders, wounding her a bit; did he think she wouldn't say hi back? So many years together, and Bella felt like he was treating her like a stranger.

"We were just about to go see a movie. Don't you want to join us?" Emmett asked, looking hopefully at the other couple.

"We actually just got out," Bella mumbled, feeling guilty when she saw Emmett's face fall. Then Edward threw her under the bus.

"Actually, Emmett, why don't you take Bella home? I've got a paper due tomorrow and it'd be a big help if you could drive her back, and I'll take Rose back to the dorms." When Edward suggested this, Emmett's eyes lit up so bright Bella couldn't say no. So she just sighed and nodded, giving her boyfriend's ass a pinch in retaliation.

"Don't shut him down," Edward mumbled against her lips, giving her a quick kiss. Though she pouted, she didn't argue back.

"You think they'll make up?" Rose asked Edward as they watched the best friends get in Emmett's Jeep. He shrugged.

"I think they'll be fine, but I wouldn't put it above either of them to stick their foot in their mouth."

Then they went to Edward's car and drove back to the dorms.

"So…" Emmett and Bella began awkwardly once they were five minutes into the ride home.

"You first," Bella muttered, looking out the window at the cars passing by. Emmett coughed, having suspected this was how it would go down.

"Let me just say I'm _incredibly_ sorry B. Rose and I _did_ lie to you, and it was that much worse because of how you found out. I kept secrets from you, and that's the last thing our friendship is about."

It took Bella a couple of moments to reply, but when she did, she let it all out.

"You made me feel like I didn't matter. I know we feel differently about our partners and our friends, so it's not exactly like I thought she meant more to you than I do, but it made me feel like you just didn't _care_ about me. Like you didn't care enough to respect what I asked for, or at the very least, to be honest with me. How many years have we been together? It just _really_ hurt to think you thought so low of me, Emmett. Like I would really give you some kind of ultimatum about it being either Rose or me."

"I'll _always_ love you, B! You're my best friend no matter what. I'm so fucking sorry you thought that, but nobody can ever replace you. And it's… Look, I was scared, alright? I'm —I'm in love with Rosie, and it tore me apart to think I could wind up hurting either of you. I didn't know how to tell you I'd gone ahead and fallen for the one girl you'd asked me not to look at, and then I just kept letting time go on and on until it just… seemed like it was too late. I couldn't end things with Rose if you'd asked, and—"

"See, that's my issue Emmett! That you thought I would _ask_ that of you. Didn't Rosalie tell you? The one time I asked her not to go after you, I told her that my concern was your head wouldn't be in it. I didn't want you using her as a rebound, nor did I want you getting hurt if she didn't want anything serious. Back when you'd _just_ ended things with Alice. I… I would never get in the way of your happiness, and it cuts _deep_ to know you think otherwise."

They drove in silence the rest of the way to Bella's house, and the sound of her sniffles tore at Emmett's heart. He'd spent the last two weeks and a half thinking that Bella was being resentful and petty over him not coming clean earlier about his relationship with Rosalie, but as always, Bella was full of surprises. And he really did understand _why_ she was upset; it was true, what she'd said. He'd made up his mind about what kind of person his best friend was, and it wasn't a flattering look. He'd always been so set on the Debbie Downer persona his friend had carried all through high school that he'd never paused to consider that that wasn't all she was —and that she had always had his back. So when they came to a stop in front of her house and turned off the engine, he grabbed her hand and squeezed it tight.

"I'm really sorry, Bella. I didn't… I wasn't fair to you. You're an amazing friend, and I see now that I was wrong about pretty much everything. You _aren't_ the type of person who would try to talk me out of my relationship with Rose, and I'm sorry I didn't see it. You're the best person I know, B, and I let my irrational fears get in the way of our friendship. I hope you can forgive this doofus."

Bella gave him a wobbly smile.

"Of course I forgive you, you dumb oaf. I love you. And best friends fight every once in a while, right?" Emmett chuckled and, to hide a tear that was slipping, gave her a crushing hug. When he let go, Bella patted his cheek. "Are you happy with Rose?"

He gave her a smile that answered her question.

"Oh, she's gonna be so relieved, Bells. She's been worried sick about not mending her friendship with you—"

"Woah, woah. No, Emmett, what?" Bella frowned, pulling back. "Emmett, I… I can't be _friends_ with her again, not like before."

He frowned back.

"But… we're good, aren't we?"

Bella nodded slowly.

"We are, because I've loved you for many years and I only want you to be happy. But, Em… _she_ betrayed my trust when she did't even fully have it. We'd been friends for a really short time before she decided she didn't care whether or not she lost me. And she did, when she went behind my back. I'm not angry or upset with her, but I don't think I can have her in my inner circle of friends because I don't trust her anymore. I'd been brutally honest with Rose when I told her I didn't want to be caught up in the middle; I'm done being the informant for your girlfriends, which is inevitably the role I take up. Even _you_ took a step back when I started dating Edward, so you can't tell me you don't get what I'm talking about. I'm happy you two are in love, seriously. I still think Rosalie can make you very happy. Just… I can't be in both your corners. I've tried before multiple times and it really hurts me to be in that position. I'm sorry if you think I'm being irrational, and I hope one day I can grow closer to Rose again, but... I need distance from her. Only time will tell if that'll ever change."

Emmett wanted to argue back, but he saw that Bella was convinced of her words, and he didn't exactly know what to argue back with. So he sighed and agreed, hugged Bella goodbye (eternally grateful he hadn't lost his best friend) and drove back to the dorms. Then he found Rose and, as delicately as he could, broke the news to her: Bella wasn't angry, but she wasn't going to be coming back to be the best friend she'd once been to the blonde.

Rose spent the rest of the night crying her heart out.

* * *

Thanksgiving seemed to come out of nowhere.

One day, Edward was rushing three projects in a week, and the next, he and Bella were ringing the bell to the Cullen household (unsurprisingly, Edward had forgotten his keys). The thing was, Renée and Phil never _had_ the tradition of holding Thanksgiving dinners, and instead they usually visited Phil's mother in Jacksonville. Bella almost always opted out —Grandma Dwyer had no love for her step-granddaughter, and it was so blatantly obvious not even Renée insisted that she could charm her way into the old crone's heart. This meant that usually Thanksgivings were spent in the McCarty household… well, that wasn't exactly true. She used to spend it with her dad, but that never happened again after her worst summer ever. In any case, she would've spent the holiday with the McCarty family again, if not for Edward inviting her to his place. It was a good opportunity, anyway; though she'd met Mrs. Cullen, she hadn't been Edward's girlfriend yet, and she certainly hadn't met his father or his little brother, Seth. She was excited, but also quite nervous; Edward spoke of his family like they were saints on Earth. His dad was a pediatric surgeon and his mother was an architect; Seth was a high school freshman. Apparently, they were all the nicest, kindest people Edward had ever met. Which was a hard pill to swallow, as a woman who was usually told she was a Debbie Downer and had recently been called controlling by one of the people who knew her best.

Digressing.

Almost ten seconds went by and then the front door to Edward's house was swinging open with a vengeance, Esme Cullen looking like beauty and grace personified.

"Bella! Oh, it's so good to see you again! Thank you for joining us today," Esme rushed out, just as excited as the last time they'd met. Instantly, Bella was crushed in a hug.

"Thank _you_ very much for inviting me, Esme." Bella thanked sincerely.

"Hey, what about your favorite son?" Edward whined from behind them, making Esme sigh.

"You know Seth is inside helping out," Esme teased, making Bella laugh and Edward pout harder. Esme let go of Bella to hug her eldest. "I've missed you, baby."

"You just saw me last week mom," Edward countered, though he, too, had missed his momma.

"And that's why you don't see me laid out at your feet bawling my eyes out," Esme joked, letting go of her son and giving him a kiss on the cheek. "Now, come on. Everything's nearly done; Seth is helping me carve the turkey though, and I need _you_ to supervise he keeps all his fingers."

"Why me?"

"Your father is too concentrated choosing between a cheap and an expensive wine. It's a mystery what we'll be drinking tonight," Esme said sarcastically, already knowing that her husband only took out the good wine for Christmas, her birthday and graduations. She turned her attention to Bella again. "Come on dear. Wanna see Edward's baby pictures?"

Bella covered her mouth, mock-overcome with emotion.

"I would love to, Esme. But is it alright if I say hello first to Dr. Cullen and Seth?"

Esme smiled.

"Oh, Carlisle is in the cellar, and he doesn't even let Edward down there. Don't worry about waiting until he comes up, but as for Seth, he's in the kitchen. Honey, show her the way please."

Putting a hand on her waist, Edward led his girlfriend to the kitchen, where his little brother was hard at work. Being almost six years older, his relationship with Seth included a lot of bonding and little fighting once Edward had surpassed puberty. Seth was an incredible kid, and Edward was proud of him. He also really wanted him to get along with Bella; Seth had been joined at the hip with Kate, so a part of him was worried about them not hitting it off.

"Hey little bro, I'm home!" Edward sang as he entered the kitchen...

... before everything went to hell.

He'd forgotten how mischievous Seth could be sometimes, especially when he felt he wasn't getting enough attention. One moment Bella was heading in first to the kitchen (ladies first) and the next she was covered head to toe in flour.

"Gotcha!" Seth crowed, until the white cloud cleared and he realized that it wasn't, actually, his older brother, but the most famous ex-student from his high school.

" _Bella Swan_?" Seth squeaked out, gulping when the older girl didn't immediately answer.

Bella was a legend in school. He'd been in sixth grade when she was a junior (like his brother), and since he'd been in middle school he'd had the _biggest_ crush on the prettiest girl in the whole school. The school he went to had an integrated middle and high school, so it was relatively often that he saw from afar the school's beauty. He'd even scouted out the possible threats to his soon-to-come love, concluding that McCarty was no real threat since he was with that pixy. He'd fallen flat on his face once, having two left feet (as if God wanted to compensate for his brother being so athletic), and Bella had been kind enough to help him up.

And now, she was in his house for Thanksgiving.

And he'd thrown flour at her.

Somebody could kill him and that'd be fine.

"That's me," Bella coughed, patting herself down the best she could. At least it was flour and not something sticky.

"I'm _so_ sorry, let me help you," Seth started rambling, startled when he saw his brother start to help her pat down her skirt. "Uh, dude, is she... your friend?"

Edward blew the flour off of Bella's eyes, and when she finally opened them, her eyes widened at seeing Seth.

"Oh my God, Edward, he looks _just_ like you at fifteen! But blond!" Bella laughed, impulsively reaching a hand out and tousling his hair. Seth flushed a nasty red, and that jogged her memory a bit. "Wait, I think I remember seeing you around... Oh!"

 _Yeah, I'm that dork who you helped up._

"Aren't you in the music club? I think I remember seeing you around school with a violin," Bella cocked her head to the side, expectant.

Surprised, Seth nodded.

"He's first violin," Edward stated proudly, messing up Seth's hair even further. "I've never heard a better player than him."

"Oh, I'd love to hear you sometime," Bella smiled, and even caked in flour, Seth and Edward thought she was lovely. She suddenly remembered she wasn't presentable. "Oh, sorry, I should go clean myself up. I'll be back soon, alright?"

Then Bella was gone, leaving the siblings alone.

Instantly, Seth turned to his brother.

"What the hell, man? Bella Swan is your _friend_?"

Edward smiled sheepishly.

"Um, not exactly. She's... well, she's my girlfriend."

Seth couldn't help it: he felt his eyes bug out.

"She's _your_ girlfriend?"

Seth had thought _Kate_ was out of his brother's league, but this? This was major league. Bella wasn't 'pretty for a high school kid'. Bella was the kind of pretty supermodels got surgery to look like... and she wanted _Edward_. Edward, who used a tub of gel like every two weeks. Edward, who was better at running than numbers. Edward, who wore stupid ass shirts every day like he got paid to do it.

He knew his brother was a nice guy, but this? This was overkill.

"Well, yeah. Is that... ok?" Edward said, not really knowing how to reply to that. Seth was reacting weird to the news, which in turn made _him_ act weird.

Seth was about to answer when they got interrupted.

"Which one of you scoundrels did this to Bella?" Esme's screech reached the kitchen, making the siblings flinch.

"My bad!"

* * *

"Dad, this is Bella Swan, my girlfriend. And Bella, this is my dad, Carlisle."

"It's so nice to finally meet you, Dr. Cullen. Edward is always talking about his family so it's nice to put a face to the stories," Bella greeted Edward's father when the man finally resurfaced with, indeed, a cheap whine bottle in hand. Honestly, Edward was the spitting image of his father in everything but coloring. Bella _really_ wanted Edward to age this well.

"Please, dear, call me Carlisle. And can I ask why you have something white on your cheek?" Carlisle motioned to said cheek, making Seth flinch.

"My bad dad. I thought it was Edward."

Carlisle was about to reprimand his son further when he noticed Bella shrug off the event and just ruffle Seth's hair. Then the boy blushed, and Carlisle realized his two children had a crush on the same person. Though to be fair, he knew Bella was an extraordinarily beautiful woman.

"Here," Edward turned Bella towards him and brushed the flour off tenderly. "Done."

"Thanks," Bella smiled up at her boyfriend bashfully, and for a second, Carlisle felt as though he was intruding on a private moment. Then the moment passed, and Bella was back to smiling at Carlisle.

"Let's eat then."

The rest of the dinner went by wonderfully. Esme was a hoot, and Carlisle was too in how he laughed at everything his wife said. Edward had spent half of the dinner bugging his kid brother, and Bella had spent most of the time just contentedly taking in the scene. She hoped she had a family like this one someday; she loved her mom, and Phil, but sometimes it kind of felt like they never left the newlywed phase. Which was awkward, to say the least.

By the end of the night, Bella felt like she'd been fully welcomed into the Cullen clan. Even Seth, who had started the night seemingly apprehensive, had warmed up to her. Even though Bella wasn't much of a social butterfly, she knew how to pay attention to people and make them feel heard. She paid rabid attention to every word out of the family's mouth, even when Carlisle explained something medical that she really preferred not knowing or when Esme and Edward got into one of their architecture rants. Often, she'd just turn to Seth and start asking him about school or the violin. He was quite forthcoming, just like Edward.

By the time they were saying goodbye, Esme was already planning for Bella's next four visits.

"I had a wonderful time, Esme, and the food was to die for. Thank you so much for inviting me," Bella was bidding adieu at the door by herself, Edward having gone to find his house keys.

"Oh, thank you dear. We loved having a chance to get to know you. My son... he seems so happy being with you. As a mother, having your son be simply lovestruck as opposed to seeing him _happy_ makes a world of difference."

"Don't get us wrong, we liked Kate. We're just glad he found someone who makes him relax and be happy." Carlisle smiled gently. He motioned back to Seth who was picking up the last few plates. "Seth seemed to like you a lot as well."

Bella smiled at them, thankful. In that moment Edward reappeared, singing he was victorious. Thanking them again, Bella hugged the Cullen trio goodbye (Seth blushed furiously and thanked his lucky stars Edward was his brother. Then Edward drove Bella back to her house, the ride spent in relative silence. When they arrived at Bella's place, she turned to Edward with a sleepy smile.

"Want to come in for a little bit?"

Duh.

Edward eagerly nodded, making his girlfriend laugh.

"You know, I think my little brother has a crush on you," Edward chuckled, going into Bella's house and following her up to her room.

"Really?" Bella pondered jokingly, turning back to give Edward a mock calculating look. "You know, Seth _does_ really look like you. Maybe if I ever feel like switching to a younger model..." She giggled when she saw Edward's furious scowl, guiding him by the hand to her room. "I kid, I kid. He's adorable, but blond's not really my type. I prefer redheads."

"You better. That means, statistically, less competition for me as well," Edward said, making his girlfriend laugh again.

"So, this is my room," Bella said, turning on the line and stepping aside so he could look around.

It was filled with psychology posters on the walls, and on the floor, comic books. There were some shelves, but those too were filled to the brim in comics. He rarely saw her reading, so sometimes he forgot what a geek she was. Which he really liked.

"My God, Swan, you've got an unhealthy obsession with comics. Ever heard of going green? There _are_ digital comics."

Bella sniffled.

"But the _feeling's_ not the same." Then she turned around, ranting about something or other while Edward continued looking around. He eyed her bed —blue duvet and red pillows—and decided he could do with a little nap. Only, the moment he sat down on it and turned back to announce his plans to Bella, his mouth dried. She was in front of some drawers standing only in her panties, her back to him.

Fuck, he wanted her.

Getting up, he walked to stand behind Bella. Because of his height, when he looked down he could see her naked breasts; he didn't even care about the granny panties, feeling himself get rock hard.

"May I help you?" Bella teased, turning around. She might've been sleepy, but she always was down for some action. Not that he _ever_ indulged her. Still, it _was_ chilly, so she slipped on her oversized sleeping shirt.

"You're torturing me, B," Edward groaned, leaning forward and dropping his forehead on her shoulder.

"Good. Now kiss me before I decide to sleep commando," Bella grinned when she felt his hands naturally descend down to her ass. He really wasn't much of a boob man, which she was thankful for, given she didn't have much in that department.

"Well we can't have _that_ ," Edward said huskily before swooping in for a kiss. Happily, he let Bella shove her tongue down his throat while he slipped his hands under her panties, kneading her ass cheeks. She moaned, squealing when Edward suddenly grabbed her and threw her on the bed, face down.

"Edward? What are you?—" Her breath hitched when she felt Edward slip off her panties. Oh God, they'd never gotten this far before. She felt him grab a handful of both her cheeks, then his tongue on her left one.

"I'm gonna eat you," Edward said, his voice huskier and lower than she'd ever heard it. Her heart almost left her chest.

"A-Are you sure? It's kind of d-dirty down there don't you— _Oh_!" Then Edward spread her ass cheeks apart and stuck his tongue in her pussy, feeling as she clenched around him. "Edward," Bella sighed, fisting the duvet in her hands. She then heard his zipper lower and his jeans drop to the floor, and she knew he was pumping himself while eating her out, his other hand on her ass. She couldn't see him, but she knew he was awfully happy about being smothered by her butt. Maybe he was serious when saying he didn't care much for boobs.

Then he flipped her around and started biting down on her clit, and she didn't have much of a choice in the matter. She came, screaming his name...

... And peeing a little.

It really wasn't on purpose. It was probably the most humiliating moment of her life. He was licking her clean, and it got to the point where something inside of her relaxed a _little_ too much, and then she just... peed. On her boyfriend's cheek.

And even though he only blinked in shock, she was mortified enough to run her shirt down his cheek and then dash to the bathroom.

"Bella, it's ok. I promise I don't care," Edward calmly knocked on the bathroom door, where his girlfriend had locked herself in. It hadn't been all that much, really, and he was honest when he said he didn't mind. He didn't like it, but he liked upsetting his girlfriend even less. Not to mention, he was still riding high on how fucking good he was capable of making his girl feel.

"Bella, please come out."

"I can't ever face you again!" Bella wailed. "I'm gonna have to become a nun now! Just fucking kill me, Edward!"

Despite himself, he chuckled. She could be funny when she overreacted. Also, adorable as always.

"Are you laughing at me?" A furious screech sounded from the bathroom, followed by Bella flinging the door open. Edward took that moment to quickly grab her and carry her to the bed.

"Just a little bit. You're way too cute," Edward admitted, pinning her down when she struggled to escape.

"Let me go. I can't be with you anymore," Bella wailed, protesting when Edward laid a kiss on her to shut her up. Then he lowered his bottom half so it was resting against Bella's pelvis.

"Feel that? I still want you, Bella Swan. You're the hottest woman I know, pee and all."

"That's not romantic at all," Bella blubbered, nonetheless placated by the fact that her boyfriend was still rock hard even ten minutes after having accidentally peed on his face. "I'm sorry I peed on you."

He chuckled, wrapping his arms below her and sighing contently. He didn't tell her this, but he was glad whenever shit like this happened; it made her feel more real, and less like a flower on a mountain peak he could never reach. Her humanity was lovely.

"Bella, we can either make small problems big or we can make them smaller. This isn't even worth thinking about, I promise. Can you trust me when I tell you I don't care?"

She sniffled.

"Now you see why Emmett calls me Debbie Downer?"

They laughed.

"Bella, if Jake can puke all over me and still be my best friend, I think it's safe to say I'm not gonna overreact after my girlfriend pees a little because I gave her an orgasm."

"It was a good orgasm, too." Bella muttered, almost as an afterthought. "Which reminds me."

Then she proceeded to give Edward his own mind blowing orgasm, which actually made him kind of jealous.

"Where'd you learn to do _that_?" He heaved, bringing her up so she was resting on his chest.

"Porn," Bella said proudly, making Edward snort in surprise. "What? Sometimes a girl likes being informed."

"I just pictured you typing 'redhead geek lanky' in the search engine," Edward admitted, chuckling when Bella tried digging her knuckle into his ribs. "What? As far as I know, that's your type."

She kissed his chest.

"As far as I know, you're right," Bella joked. She sighed happily. "I think I would've liked you no matter what you looked like."

"Even as a hot girl?"

"You'd be my best friend, but one of the best things about you is your dick," Bella laughed when she felt her boyfriend's shock. "What? That's a valid reason for me not to be gay, isn't it?"

Even the most politically correct people could be dicks sometimes (pun intended), Edward realized.

"What if I had, like, a micropenis?"

"But you don't."

"But what if I _did_?"

"I don't know, would you be able to fuck me?"

"You're so crass sometimes, baby." His influence entirely; before they'd started dating she hardly ever cussed.

"I am, but that's because you like asking ridiculous things." Bella yawned. "I don't know, Edward. I'd like to think I wouldn't care, but we can't know for sure what I'd do, right?"

He let up, figuring he'd tormented his girlfriend enough.

"I think if you were a guy, I'd want you. Or even if you weren't as beautiful as you are."

"Really?"

"Really."

"I don't believe you," Bella yawned, nonetheless wiggling until she was almost pasted to her boyfriend from head to toe. "I've never cared much for beauty, but it's all people seem to think about when they see me. Even Seth, sweet as he is, wouldn't have crushed on me if I didn't have this face. I'm not saying you're lying to me or anything like that, it's just... When you're judged by how you look all your life, it's hard to believe someone when they tell you they don't care how you look. I wouldn't even believe my mom if she told me that."

Hearing her words made Edward feel sad, but also a bit angry. He chose to focus on the sadness, though; he figured Bella didn't mean to belittle his feelings and was only generalizing about her life so far.

"I didn't start dating you because you were the most beautiful girl in school, though. I started dating you because I thought you were —and are— the most amazing girl I've ever met. You've always been beautiful, Bella, but I didn't start dating you until I knew how beautiful you were inside as well. So please don't say people only ever care about the outside —but more than that, please don't think it."

Edward didn't hear Bella's reply. She was too far gone in her dream world, probably recreating some argument she almost won but had missed just the right argument to succeed. Every once in a while, Edward thought Bella should've aimed to be a lawyer instead, with how much she loved winning arguments and debating. He'd once started debating with her about abortion and he'd quickly realized what a losing battle _that_ was. He decided he'd only indulge her in such heavy topics every once in a while; he was a sportsman, after all, and he never backed down from a fight. Which was something good on the track but bad for a relationship; even Bella had agreed that they could get too heated about certain subjects and needed long breaks to recover. They still talked about everything, they just... needed breathers in between heavy subjects (even the ones they agreed on).

He cuddled with his girlfriend for about an hour before deciding his mother would kill him if he took any longer.

He laid a kiss on her forehead, and then he was gone.

* * *

 **Alright, before any of y'all dislike me, I'll explain about the Rose-Bella-Emmett fight. I know many of you liked the friendship between Rose and Bella, and so do I. I also wanted to throw in a sprinkle of reality in their relationship; sometimes, great friends have fall-outs because of things that simply could've been handled better. And one of the things I thought was appropriate was Bella not wanting to be in the middle -remember, this Bella has been in that position a lot, and she knows she doesn't like it. It might not be what all of you would react like, but it _is_ consistent with what I've explained about Bella so far. I think most of us would feel betrayed if a friend lied to us on purpose, but most of all, if we felt like we weren't picked. I know some friendships can be really strong even if they've only just begun, but I also think that longer friendships tend to withstand better the trials of life. Not because 'that's the way things are', but because usually people are more willing to put in the effort. Bella has a good group of friends, so she knows which things are tolerable (for her) and which aren't. Have any of you had experiences like this? I'd like to hear how you handled things if you did. :)**

 **Leah.**

 **P.S. Thanks to all of you who worried about the gasoline problem lol, thankfully everything's pretty much resolved. Just... some thieves went to steal gasoline in another state, which caused a huge explosion when something went wrong. Some people here have said that they deserved it for stealing -many even making memes about it- and I just want to ask you to please never rejoice at someone's death. Even if they're thieves, even if they're shameless sometimes (their families are asking the government for compensation), nobody deserves to be caught in an explosion, and it breaks my heart when I see people close to me repost hateful comments.**

 **P.P.S. Also, I'm going to L.A. next week! My God! It's my first time going to the States in two years, and my first time going to the West coast. A cousin of mine is getting married there (he's from the U.S.). My parents are there already, which is a relief. Also, congrats to all the US government employees who'll be getting paid! Finally! I'm sure you've a few rough weeks, so I hope you or your loved ones get your paychecks.**


	5. Ask For Help

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Also, sorry for taking a little longer with the update. Life's crazy that way.**

* * *

A couple of weeks went by, and soon final exams were over. Emmett and Rose decided to go on a one week trip to Cancun (all paid for by Rosalie's rich daddy) and Alice decided to stay in New York and have her family visit her instead. She said she'd head down for spring break, claiming these holidays to be far prettier in the big city than in Phoenix. So Bella stayed in the dorms until the last day she was able to and, when she was all but kicked out, decided to spend a couple of nights with Edward. Apparently, the Cullen family usually spent Christmas in Chicago, where Esme and Carlisle were from. They'd headed there on the twenty-first, and Edward had claimed to need two more days to tie up some loose ends. Bella had just told her parents she'd arrive home on the twenty-third, and that was it. Phil didn't need and Renée didn't want much explanation. Maybe that was why Bella was such an independent person? She'd grown up without having to make excuses as to why she had almost failed a class (which had, thankfully, only happened once), never asking permission to go out and managing most menial tasks in the house. Growing up, it had been a stark contrast with Emmett, who hadn't been able to put a foot outside of the house without being questioned about where he was going and who he was meeting. For the Dwyer household, it had all been about steering clear of drugs and keeping a good academic life. Any achievement further than that was welcomed but unasked for.

Digressing.

The first night Bella spent with Edward, she was clear that nothing was about to happen (sexually): she'd gone with him to some end-of-semester reunion with his architecture friends to some party. He had a friend, Jackson, who really grated on her nerves; he was constantly flirting with her, even in front of his girlfriend, and to make things worse Edward was none the wiser. It wasn't obvious enough for Bella to be more straightforward in shutting him down, but it was evident enough to her that she preferred spending as little time as possible with the guy. On the other hand, one of Edward's other friends, a guy called Westley, was a hoot. He was always regaling Bella with stories of his shit-eating dog, cracking her up until she found it hard to breathe. _Him_ , Edward was jealous of. And even though the guy _was_ pretty cute and hilarious as fuck, he seemed uninterested in her. During this particular party Bella managed to find out, after a few drinks in him, that he was hopelessly in love with some girl from the graphic design career who wouldn't give him the time of day. For every two beers he drank down, Bella drank half of one. Despite having this system in place, by midnight she was tipsy as fuck and hanging onto Edward's back for dear life as he carried her to his car.

"Maybe I drank too much," Bella hiccuped, resting her head on Edward's shoulder.

"I think you did, babe," Edward said, not at all amused. He didn't like it when Bella drank so much; she wasn't a woman of enough good habits for this kind of thing to be swept under the rug. He could hardly convince her of eating salad with her lunch, and now it was the third time this semester he had to carry a drunk Bella home. At least she could hold her dinner down.

"I'm sorry, Eddie," Bella hiccuped, tightening her arms around his neck. "I'm just not used to parties. I always get too nervous and end up drinking a teeeeensy bit more than I should."

Understatement, but he was glad for her honesty.

"It's ok, baby. Come on, let's go home."

By the time Bella had been dumped safely on his bed, Edward was beat from a long day. Before going through the hassle of changing Bella's clothes, he put on his pajamas: a Spiderman t-shirt and boxers. He only used pants when he went to Chicago. So he grabbed another t-shirt (Bugs Bunny this time) and boxers, ready to help Bella out of her dress. But when he turned, she was completely naked.

"Make love to me, Edward," Bella slurred, hurting him in his human decency. Clenching his jaw, he shook his head.

"You know I won't touch you when you're drunk, Bella."

She pouted. It looked a bit wonky thanks to the alcohol, but he still thought she was adorable.

" _Why_?"

"Because if, by any chance, you don't want me to touch you right now and I do, it'll make both of us feel terrible tomorrow."

"But you know I want you to touch me."

"I know baby. But I'm not taking your virginity after you've drank nearly a keg of beer, and I certainly don't want to be the scumbag that touches his drunk girlfriend."

Bella kept whining, hoping her boyfriend would change his mind and suddenly ravage her, but he never did. Instead, she realized that there was only one thing she could do right now: take matters into her own hands.

She stopped complaining all of a sudden, making Edward rightfully suspicious.

"Bella?" Edward frowned, turning around from where he'd been picking up Bella's tossed aside clothes. "You alive?"

When he turned back to see her, he wished he hadn't: she'd taken matters into her own hands, literally.

In front of him was only one of the best scenes ever. Bella had parted her legs completely, giving him ample view of her pussy. She had three fingers on her clit, rubbing tight circles, and the other hand had his duvet clenched.

"Oh, _fuck._ "

Edward had no choice but to tug his boxers down and take his dick into his hand, unable to take the scene in front of him. He didn't know what the ethics were on watching his drunk girlfriend masturbate, but he also knew that Bella never blacked out or said things she didn't mean when she drank. Not to mention, she'd fessed up after Halloween about how quickly she sobered up, and—

Fuck, he just wanted her.

So, watching each other, they got themselves off. Edward came with a shuddering breath, Bella squeaking out his name. Heart rate slowing down, he gathered the pajamas he'd picked out for her and quickly dressed his enchantress.

"You're gonna give me a heart attack one day," Edward warned, and a sleepy Bella simply grinned.

"I certainly hope not."

And then they were out.

* * *

The next morning, Bella woke up with a dick against her ass and the worst hangover ever. She remembered everything from the night before, and she even managed to flinch in guilt at the spot she'd put Edward in last night. She didn't realize while drunk how hard it had to be to turn down your drunk, naked, _willing_ girlfriend. And even if she thoroughly enjoyed her orgasm and watching Edward's, she knew of the conflict inside of him from the face he'd pulled at the end. She didn't know what she'd have done if it was Edward who had drunkenly started jerking off —ok fine, she would've done the same thing he had. But she knew Edward, Mr. Morality, had to have had his ethical questions about it. Maybe it was necessary, she realized, to establish rules with him about what to do if she begged to be fucked while she was drunk and he wasn't.

And when he woke up, that was what she did.

"Morning baby," Bella smiled at her boyfriend, her heart fluttering when his eyes slowly opened and met hers.

"Morning beautiful. How's your hangover?"

"Awful. But thanks for taking care of me last night."

"Always," Edward gave her a sleepy smile, and thirty seconds later she saw his eyes grow wide as saucers and flinch. "Oh fuck, Bella—"

"I know what you're gonna say, and let me stop you right there. First of all, don't feel bad about last night. Thank you for keeping your word and not touching me, and I'm sorry that I put you in such an uncomfortable position. I'd like to say I won't do it again, but I'd rather not make a promise I'm not sure I can keep. I just... thank you and sorry."

"Don't apologize, B. I like being the one to take care of you."

"You're the best. I just... It crossed my mind that perhaps I should lay down some ground rules for you so you know what to do if I'm drunk and horny, yeah? And I know you don't drink, but if you should ever want to for some crazy reason, is it ok if you lay some down, too?"

Edward nodded, glad about her suggestion. He always had a hard time saying no to her, but it'd be a lot easier if he knew what her limits were while drunk.

"Alright, so, first. No sexing me up, especially if we haven't done it sober yet. Now, I know I can be a bit... pushy sometimes. If I'm not taking no for an answer, I recommend sticking me in a cold shower. I mean it Edward. It wouldn't be just about you not doing something to me while drunk, but about _me_ not doing anything to _you_. I'd feel awful if I made you feel powerless or uncomfortable because I wouldn't stop pushing you into it. And you've seen how stubborn I can be while inebriated, so I don't want to risk it. Second: third or fourth base with me. Kissing is fine, and I don't mind you squeezing my ass —I like that a lot, actually— but nothing further than that. Not because I don't want to do anything while I'm drunk... but because I don't know if I'd be able to react in time to feeling something's wrong. Like, what if for some reason it's hurting me to have sex, and I don't manage to get it out? Or, heaven forbid, I puke while we're doing it? Not to mention I peed on you while I was awake, I don't even want to _know_ what could happen while I'm out of it. Oh, and only let me give you a hand job: knowing me, if I tried giving you a blow job, it'd go down the wrong pipe. And finally... I don't mind you watching me while I touch myself, whichever is my state of mind. These are the things I give you my consent to do in case of being drunk-horny."

Edward chuckled a bit at some of her rules but, ultimately, he agreed with them all. So he gave her his much shorter version of guidelines.

"I don't know how I'm like while drunk, baby. So if I start getting pushy, or if you don't want me touching you and I'm not receptive... Lock me in the room or something. And I don't want third or fourth base with you, either, in such a state: I might not be able to realize I'm hurting you and I'm not willing to take that risk. And I'm definitely ok with it if you want to watch or, uh, give me a hand job."

Bella nodded.

"Now _that_ was a mature conversation," she teased, reaching up to kiss his cheek. "Now, let's go have breakfast. I'm hungover, not crazy."

They spent the rest of the day watching movies and cooking (Edward did the dishes). Bella also spent the first half of the day recovering from her hangover, then like an hour in the tub to rinse off yesterday's smell. Edward attempted to get in with her, but she was adamant about going in alone: if she was as dirty as she felt, she would prefer him not to witness the washing.

"I think you're being really inconsiderate of the ecosystem right now," Edward kept complaining half an hour after Bella was done with the shower. They were watching the last episode of Lucifer, a show the couple really liked because they could gush over the main leads being hot. Well, Bella gushed, mostly; Edward was only too aware of the fact that his girlfriend was hotter than half of Hollywood, not to mention blue-eyed blond wasn't exactly his type, though he could appreciate the female lead in his own way. If anything, he was far more baffled at the idea that Bella was swooning so hard over Tom Ellis, a man who, by no stretch of the imagination, looked anything like him. Maybe he was just not used to admiring other women in front of his girlfriend; Kate certainly wouldn't have liked it, and he'd never heard his dad make such comments to his mother. Though when his dad was gone, Esme Cullen wasted no time in talking about George Clooney.

Digressing: Edward was complaining.

"I told you, I was really disgusting after yesterday," Bella returned absent-minded, but when Edward continued with his whining, Bella sighed and shut off the TV. "Come on, let's go take a nap."

Triumphant over at least having annoyed her into cuddling, he hugged her from behind when she stood up and walked with her like that to his room. When they were inside, instead of heading straight for bed Bella headed to his closet. She was wearing his boxers and a tank top she'd brought over (since she was heading straight from his apartment to her house), so he figured she was looking for something warmer.

"Cold, isn't it?" Edward asked, watching as Bella rummaged his drawers for pajamas and a sweater. It wasn't cold, really, but it _certainly_ was for Arizona. Which wasn't saying much, but still. The two of them were crazy cold these days.

Triumphant, Bella held up his track team hoodie. It read Cullen in the back, which made him horny to no end to picture her with it. Then again, it didn't take much to get him riled up with how much he wanted Bella Swan.

"I'd seen you wear it once, and I couldn't get it out of my head that it'd look _so_ much better on me," Bella winked. She scavenged for sweatpants and a t-shirt, coming up victorious quickly. But then she set the clothes on the vanity, confusing her boyfriend to no end.

"I thought you were going to wear those," Edward raised an eyebrow, watching suspiciously as the woman he'd known since he was a little kid approached him slyly.

"I am, afterwards," Bella said cheekily.

"After what?"

Surprising him, she grabbed her shirt and boxers and suddenly took them off. She was wearing mismatched underwear —a pink bra and purple panties which had him rock hard within seconds. She must've changed her underwear

"Sex," Bella said, reaching her boyfriend. She grabbed hold of his belt and made quick work of taking it off (she'd sent him out earlier for eggs, since his bachelor pad was almost devoid of food). "I'm ready, Edward."

His heart would probably give out before he had a chance of taking off her bra.

"What brought this on?"

They'd literally been about to nap; what had changed her mind in the span of a few seconds?

Bella tugged his shirt up, chucking it off quickly and then getting started on his jeans. He helped with that, wanting her to talk.

"I'm just finally ready, Edward. Any and all reasons that had been holding me back before are gone now. I just really want to do it with you, and I really want you _now_."

His jeans hit the floor, leaving the couple in their underwear. They just stared at each other, the weight of what was about to happen hitting them.

"You sure you don't want this to be more special? I can book a room in a hotel or something," Edward offered, genuinely worried about fucking up Bella's first time having sex.

"No, I… I just want you, Edward. Now. That's plenty special to me."

That was all Edward needed to hear, because then he was _on_ her. He dragged off her panties, unclasped her bra and all but threw her down on the bed. His hands were all over her —touching her without reservation, touching her like he could only breathe if he did. He was frantic, one moment kissing her and the next kissing her pussy. He'd been waiting to taste her again for so long, and he _really_ needed to give her an orgasm before they had sex. He was furiously rubbing her clit with one finger, and he stuck his tongue inside of her. She was quiet, just latching onto his hair as he felt her pulse around him a few minutes later. Cleaning her up with his tongue, enjoying the twitching, he crawled up her body.

"If you want to stop, you've got to pinch me," Edward gasped, grinding his hips against Bella's warmth. They moaned. "Because my ears are ringing, so I won't be able to hear."

In reply, Bella dragged down his boxers, feeling him rock hard and warm against her. She touched him, gasping when he bucked in her hand.

" _Please_ , take me Edward," Bella managed to wheeze out, moaning when he gave her a bruising kiss that tasted like her. He wasted no time sticking his tongue in her mouth, tasting every corner of her mouth until she was breathless and horny to no end.

"Alright. If it hurts, let me know," Edward took Bella's lower lip in his, distracting her briefly enough to push into her in one go. He almost came on the spot —she was warm, and so _fucking_ tight. It had been months of wet dreams and copping a feel here and there with those two instances of oral sex and voyeurism, but finally, he was inside her. The woman of, literally, his dreams. He tried not concentrating on how good it felt —how tight it was, how perfectly she felt. He ran a finger over her nipple and almost came when she clenched. Suddenly, he was incredibly grateful for that awkward conversation a few months back where they'd discussed sex —the fact that they were both clean and that Bella was on the pill. He somehow couldn't imagine taking her virginity while wearing a condom.

"Doesn't hurt at all," Bella said breathlessly, locking her ankles behind Edward's back. Nonetheless she had a her arms around him in a death grip, letting him know that it wasn't exactly _painless_. "You're kind of big," Bella whispered, and he felt something clench in his gut and knock the air out of him. She didn't have to say much for him to get turned on.

Thanking all of his lucky stars that he was a bit bigger than average, Edward pulled out a little before pushing back in. When Bella just moaned, Edward sighed in relief —she'd been telling the truth about the pain, mostly. Confident now, he pulled almost all the way out before thrusting back in; Bella moaned again, and he let out a shaky breath before letting his forehead drop on her shoulder.

"Fuck, I'm not going to last at all," Edward whispered.

"I don't want you to. Just... _move_ , for God's sake." Bella whispered, gasping when he pulled out and then thrust back in to the hilt.

"I want this to last, baby. I want to make love to you, and I want you to remember this for the rest of your life." Fuck, she was so wet down there it was all he could do not to slip out. He was at war with himself —wanting to fuck the living daylights out of her but also wanting to worship her like she deserved. He did the latter —he loved this woman and wanted to leave his mark in her heart. He figured perhaps there was time for hard and fast, but that now what she needed was soft and loving.

Because oh, love her he did. He first realized after Halloween; how everything was so easy with her, how she brought him so much peace. He truly hadn't felt unhappy with his relationship with Kate; he'd loved his ex, truly and fully, and he didn't regret dating her. It was just... Bella was different. He realized everything he hadn't had with Kate within the first two months of dating Isabella Swan; how he didn't have to be blinded to be lovestruck, how he could be lovestruck without spending every waking second with his girlfriend. With Kate, too much work to do had been enough excuse to put off meeting her, while with Bella, a heavy workload was motivation to get things done so he could see her quicker. His perspective simply changed, even if many of the situations presented themselves again. Maybe he was just so in love with Bella that he was taking almost every difference in the two women to mean that his current girlfriend was that much better than his ex; he'd found himself thinking negatively about Kate these days, which bothered him about himself. She'd been an incredible girlfriend, and it was unfair of him to put her in a bad light just because he was in love with his current partner. Still, the truth was, Bella meant everything to him —and he wanted to show her.

As Edward wished, Bella's first time having sex was soft and sweet. It was a testament to Edward's love for her, and it was everything Bella had wanted.

"Edward," Bella kept moaning, locking her ankles behind his back. "Oh, that feels good."

The whisper, sweet in his ear, made him bury himself balls deep in her, stopping with a shuddering breath.

"God, you almost killed me right there. Fuck, you're the sweetest girl in the world," Edward said huskily, taking his face out from the crook of her neck and laying a kiss on her lips. "I don't even want to know what your dirty talk would do to me."

Bella giggled, but she quickly stopped when the vibrations transferred down to where they were connected. They moaned, and mischievously, Bella started trailing her hand down Edward's chest, biting on his lower lip.

"I'm gonna be really sore tomorrow," Bella confessed in a whisper. "I'd never had anything inside other than my... and your... fingers."

Her statement was accompanied by a brush of his dick where they were joined; she started rubbing her clit at the sam time the last word left her mouth, but that was too much for Edward. He suddenly pulled out —making Bella let out a surprised whine— but then his fingers had replaced hers in furiously rubbing her clit. Gasping, Bella let him swallow her moans; just when she started twitching, she felt the pressure leave her. Before she even had the chance to cry at the loss, Edward had buried himself to the hilt inside of her, covering her lips with his —he pumped once, twice, three times and then they were coming together, a shot of heat spreading in her lower half as Edward emptied himself inside Bella.

"That was..." Bella gasped in disbelief, wondering at the flashes of light that had gone off behind her eyes. She hadn't noticed, but at some point her fingers had buried themselves in his hair and had made a mess of it.

"Incredible," Edward breathed, getting on his elbows so he could look down at Bella. "I don't remember ever coming so hard in my life."

Smug, Bella couldn't wipe off her Grinch-like smile. _She'd_ done that, and no one else.

"Let me just get off," Edward muttered, pulling out of Bella.

"But I did," Bella snickered, her legs falling apart as Edward just chuckled at her seventh-grader humor. He was about to go get a warm towel to clean up the mess he'd made, but then... He saw the mess he made.

It was like a switch flipped. One second he was spent, and the next he was already hard again even though he'd come not even five minutes ago. But he couldn't help it; he'd taken one look at his cum dripping out of Bella and his dick decided to forgo recovery time, something that had never happened before. Something he'd never found particularly attractive now threatened to undo him at the seams, and desperate, he locked eyes with a shocked Bella.

"Is that... normal?" Bella whispered, and Edward quickly shook his head.

"First time this happens to me," he admitted, red like a tomato. "Turns out I've got a thing for seeing the aftermath of sex."

If _he_ was tomato-red, Bella was firetruck-red. She stuttered her way through her next statement.

"Is it... do you need... Help? I mean, I probably can't come again, but I'm not too sore..."

Fuck, he loved her.

Instead of answering, he parted her legs, holding her thighs apart. He spread her lips, stretching her —letting him have the perfect look inside. His heart missed a beat, he swore; someday, he'd convince Bella to let him take a picture of this. He'd never been one for porn mags, but right now, he kind of understood.

This time, he saw himself get buried inside Bella, and there was almost a sensory overload. She felt like he saw her —glorious. Warm. It was even wetter inside this time, and the thought of _what_ had made her so slick was enough to have him coming again in just a few pumps. He kept thrusting lightly, feeling the after-shocks of his orgasm reverberate through him.

"Fuck," Edward gave a breath of relief, his body finally sated. Still joined, he collapsed on top of Bella, quickly flipping them over so she was on top of him instead. He brought his knees up so he wouldn't slip out, not quite ready to break their connection. "You sure you're ok? I feel bad about—"

"I'm perfect," Bella interrupted. She'd offered, after all, and it wasn't like she needed a relationship where the tit for tat had to be perfectly balanced. "That was... thank you, Edward."

"Thank _you_ , Bella."

A couple of moment went by, and then Edward tightened his arms around her.

"I love you, beautiful girl. Thank you for giving me your first time."

Her eyes burned. She'd been fairly certain he loved her, but it had taken the two so long to say the words she'd begun fearing neither would ever get the courage to say it. And now that he had, she felt like a piece of her lungs that had never breathed had suddenly opened up. She took in a deep breath, the deepest one ever, and she was glad she'd met Edward Cullen.

"I love you too," Bella said, her voice all choked up with emotion. "I've never been in love before... So you'll have to bear with me while I learn."

He kissed the top of her head.

"You silly girl. This is my first time being in love with _you_. No two loves are the same, so for all intents and purposes, this is _our_ first time being in love." Sometimes, Edward forgot just how inexperienced Bella was in relationships. She was so beautiful, so smart, so all-around incredible that it was hard to remember she'd steered clear of love for a long time —and that she'd even had an unrequited love with him. He chuckled.

"What?" Bella turned to face upwards, quirking up an eyebrow at him.

"Just remembering there was a time where you pined over me. It seems like so long ago."

"I never _pined_ ," Bella lied, but both of them knew she was bullshitting no one. "Only for like five minutes. I quickly grew tired of myself for liking a guy in a relationship so most of my time was spent berating myself for not letting you go."

"Would you have gone after me if you thought I'd go out with you, even if I had a girlfriend?"

"No way. I wouldn't have liked you if I'd thought you were the type of man that could be swayed to cheat on his partner. _My_ turn on is knowing you're loyal to a fault, even if it did once come at the expense of my mental health."

And his freshly-fucked hair, but she'd tell him that later.

Oh, and whenever he took his glasses off to clean them and he'd look at her with those clear green eyes.

Man, she was a goner.

After a few more cheesy moments, they decided to get cleaned up, and then it didn't take much longer for the two to fall asleep, holding each other tightly.

To make things better, Bella only elbowed Edward once in her sleep —being great at tossing and turning during the night— and called his name out twice before he, too, was out.

* * *

Winter vacations came and went much too quickly for Bella's liking. Even though she only got to see Edward the day before classes began, she'd been enjoying her alone time quite a lot. She caught up with all the comics she'd been missing out on, Skyped every day she could with Edward, and even went to visit Alice to watch the ball drop on New Years. She'd only gone from the 30th of December to the 2nd of January, and the tickets had been Phil's Christmas gift to her. Apparently, Alice had been scheming with her step-father so that Bella wouldn't have any plans for a few months. She stayed with Alice and, this was the kicker: Bella had totally forgotten to tell Emmett that his ex was dating his current girlfriend's cousin. It wasn't her 'secret' to tell though, so when Alice and Jasper had picked her up at the airport, it had been awkward at best. Jasper had taken the semester off from college, choosing to take some extra photography classes at NYU; Alice had been thrilled at the news, and had called Bella happy-crying over realizing she'd get to keep her new boyfriend for six more months. This, though, meant that Bella and Jasper hadn't seen each other since the end of second semester, which had left them scrambling to figure out what to do in order to let Emmett and Rose know.

Which had also been a surprise to Jasper and Alice.

"I didn't expect Rose to start dating Emmett, to be honest. She was always much more into the lankier type of guy. I don't think she's ever dated a linebacker."

Alice had snorted.

"Well, _I'm_ not surprised. Did you see the knockers on your cousin? Emmett was always complaining about me _only_ being a C cup. Mostly joking, but I feel he was actually bothered by it."

Bella had confirmed the theory.

"Emmett has literally told me he would've liked me if I'd had bigger boobs."

She'd told Jasper the truth, though —that she was no longer close with Rosalie. She wasn't upset anymore, but all the lies had been too much for a friendship on shaky ground. Jasper had found it strange that she'd quickly forgiven Emmett and not Rose, but he hadn't questioned it —he knew some friendships followed inconsistent rules.

"You don't think he'll be angry with you for keeping my relationship with Jasper a secret?"

"Nah. It wasn't my secret to tell, for one. Not to mention I left it quite clear I want nothing to do with his relationships anymore. That includes his exes —I honest to God forget sometimes you even dated that oaf." Bella had laughed. "Besides, I haven't really thought of this as a secret. I just think it's one of those things that shouldn't come out of my mouth. Least of all now that I know he's dating the cousin of his ex's current boyfriend."

That was a really weird connection.

Besides that, Bella had a blast in New York. She even managed to track down a graphic t-shirt store that Edward really liked and got him three shirts with brand new jokes on them —her delayed Christmas gift. Edward had gotten her a handful of comic books, and she'd nearly died when she realized she'd forgotten to get anyone gifts. She even got a few souvenirs for the rest of the Cullen family members —a bag of M&Ms for Seth, who had a sweet tooth, a bone pen for Carlisle and a mini lego house for Esme.

"Did you have fun in New York, love?" Edward asked when they Skyped the night Bella went back home. She nodded excitedly, giddy to see him tomorrow. He was getting back in the morning, at around eleven, and she was planning to immediately go to his house as soon as he said he'd landed.

"It was packed to the brim because of all the people waiting for the ball to drop, so Alice, Jasper, Eric and I went to a nearby park where we could mostly see it. The fireworks were beautiful, too, although the star of the show was Alice with how starry-eyed she got." Bella rambled.

"Eric? Who's that?"

"Oh, Jasper's roommate this last semester. He was a nice kid, but a little quiet. Oh! I did tell you, didn't I? That Jasper's coming back. If I thought Emmett and Alice were bad respecting PDA, then Ali and Jasper take it to a _whole_ new level," Bella made a face. Edward knew his girlfriend didn't particularly like public displays of affection; when they were outside, the most Bella let Edward do was hold her hand and peck her hello or goodbye on the lips. Anything more than that was a no go. Which was fine; he also didn't like making a spectacle of himself.

"I wish I could've been with you, love," Edward said wistfully, and though Bella appreciated the sentiment, she knew that he'd had a blast on his own. He'd sent her pictures throughout the night via Instagram, and his night had seemed to be full of laughter and love. He had a big family, it seemed like; apparently, Carlisle had three sisters (and they'd all reproduced between two and four times) and a brother, and Esme had one sister and three brothers who had a varying number of children. So all night Edward had either little cousins hanging off of his arm or uncles and aunts rigging on him for having another girlfriend. Bella thought that was a wonderful thing to experience, and she wished to one day accompany him; her mom was an only child, as was her father, and Phil's family hadn't been as welcoming as him to his step-daughter. It was probably the only reason Bella didn't outright think of Phil as her father, even though he'd been married to her mother since time immemorial: she was always acutely aware about being Isabella Swan, not Isabella Dwyer. She'd tried changing her last name once, but Charlie had shown her such a hurt face that she hadn't dared bring up the topic again. Back when she loved Charlie with everything she had.

"I wish _I_ could've been with _you_ ," Bella said honestly. "You look like you had a blast with all of your family."

"I did. Maybe next year you'll come with me?" He asked it with a shy yet hopeful face, making Bella's heart melt. Oh, how she loved him.

"I'd be more than happy to," Bella smiled, the grin slipping when she heard her mother call her downstairs. "Sorry, I've gotta go. Mom's calling."

Edward winked at her, said I love you, and disconnected.

Sighing, Bella slinked her way downstairs, growing confused when she saw Renée and Phil sitting in the living room. They were usually in the kitchen munching away on some of her mother's latest creations, so seeing them sat so properly made her weary.

"Mom? Dad? What's up?"

Bella didn't usually call Phil dad; usually just when she was overly emotional and, when she was a bit younger, when she wanted comics. The same thing applied to her mother, who'd gone through a phase of wanting grow closer to Bella by getting her to call her Renée or something like that.

"Uh, honey," Phil began, not quite knowing how to continue. "Something's happened."

"What is it?" Bella asked, growing nervous.

"Your father's getting re-married." Renée blurted out, clenching her eyes shut. "He wants you there as a maid of honor. Three weeks from Saturday."

Her eyebrows climbed up into her hairline.

" _Charlie_ is? To whom?"

"Sue Clearwater. Remember her? You used to play with her older daughter, Leah."

Bella felt the ground shake underneath her.

Of course she remembered Leah Clearwater. She'd been trying, for the last five years, to forget anything that had to do with that woman's family.

"I'm not going. I'd rather have all my teeth pulled without anesthesia than go to..."

Bella didn't get much further than that before passing out.

-.-

"Bella? Love? Are you awake?" Bella heard a soft voice ask, then lips press against her forehead. That felt good, but she didn't want to wake up. Yesterday, after passing out, she'd stumbled up the stairs with Phil's help to her room. She'd heard her mother crying in the background, on the phone with Charlie, telling him that she wasn't going to press Bella about attending the wedding. That it was Bella's choice, and that was that. That if he had an ounce of love for their daughter he wouldn't push it any further. Renée didn't understand what was going on, but she was always a mother —and nobody would hurt her baby girl if she could help it.

Then, at around twelve (he arrived at ten), Edward called the house, freaking out —"Good morning Mrs. Dwyer, is Bella there? She said to let her know as soon as my plane landed, but none of my texts are getting through and she won't pick up her phone and it's been two hours..."

Renée had quickly cut off the ranting man. She hadn't been aware, up until that moment, that Bella had a boyfriend, but this certainly explained the spring in Bella's step as of late. She'd proceeded to explain, "Edward, is it?" that her daughter wasn't feeling well and hadn't gotten up yet, and as for the phone, the battery must've run out. She knew the part that freaked out Edward the most had been that the messages weren't getting through at all, not that they went unanswered; Bella religiously charged her phone, but she methodically ignored it. However, it _was_ rare for her to go more than an hour without replying to a single message, rarer still for messages to not go in, and Renée suspected that her daughter was quicker in replying to her boyfriend.

So when ten minutes later a haggard-looking redhead had rang her doorbell, Renée had no choice but to let the boy in.

"Just keep the door open, please," Renée had informed Edward, whom she figured to be the Cullen's boy. He was the spitting image of his parents, whom Renée had met a handful of times at school events.

"Of course, Mrs. Dwyer," Edward had said, heart hammering in his chest. Bella's mother had made it sound like Bella wasn't just down with the common cold or something, and as a woman who was always in good health and had never missed a day of school in her life (well, just once, when she had appendicitis), it seriously worried him. "I'm sorry I'm such a mess, Mrs. Dwyer. I swear I'm not normally this rude."

Renée blew him off.

"It's Renée. And don't worry about it; we'll have time later for formal introductions. Now go console that daughter of mine."

With a thankful smile, Edward was off to Bella's room, where he ended up waking her up.

Renée slipped off to the kitchen, where she slipped her arms around Phil's back.

"Does he seem like a good boy?" Phil asked, closing his iPad.

"He does," Renée smiled. "He's adorable, too, all nervous because Bella hadn't gotten back to him."

Phil chuckled.

"Well, once Bella's better, we can interrogate him to our heart's content."

Upstairs, Bella was being peppered with kisses all over, and Edward's question made her groggily open her crusty eyes.

"Edward? What time is it?"

He kissed her cheek.

"A quarter past twelve, love," Edward said, pushing back her hair.

"Shit," Bella groaned, taking in her boyfriend's blurry face. "I'm sorry. I really wanted to welcome you home."

"Love, I don't care about that right now. What happened? Is everything alright?"

As soon as yesterday's memories crashed into her, Bella couldn't help her eyes from watering. Instantly, Edward knew something was very wrong.

"Is it... ok if I tell you somewhere else? I don't w-want to talk about it here in case my p-parents overhear."

"Alright, where do you want to go?"

"The t-tree house, please." She caught her reflection in the mirror behind Edward, and she flinched. "Can you give me a couple of minutes? I need a human moment."

Puzzled, Edward pulled back with a small smile.

"A human moment?"

"Yeah, because I currently look like a cross between Cousin Itt and a mop," Bella mumbled, making Edward snort despite the tears still pooled in her eyes.

"Alright, my beautiful mop. I'm gonna go get you something to eat. Any requests?"

"I'm not..." She started to say she wasn't hungry, but the look Edward gave her made her think twice about turning down his offer. "A sandwich and an apple sound good right now."

"Alright, baby. Want me to meet you in the back?"

Bella nodded, sniffling sadly. The two got up, and she couldn't help herself from laying a kiss on his cheek.

"I love you."

Blushing, Edward ducked his head and laid another kiss on her forehead, telling her he'd meet her in the tree house.

Edward went downstairs to the kitchen where he expected to find Bella's parents, but instead he found an apple and a sandwich already prepared with a note next to it.

 **Edward: Phil and I headed upstairs for a nap. Take this to Bella; it's what she always asks for when she's feeling down. Thank you for taking care of her. — Renée**

Smiling at the note, Edward grabbed it and headed out back to the tree house. It wasn't all that elevated, less than fifteen feet up, and he could tell it was getting old. Going up, he realized that the place was sealed tight to keep the rain out —instead of a pile of comic books, he saw video games everywhere (and yeah, some comic books here and there), a puff, blankets and a TV. He could definitely tell Bella shared this space with Emmett.

A couple of minutes went by, and then Bella was climbing up. She was wearing sweatpants and an ASU shirt, and it smelled like she'd even sprayed on some perfume to hide the fact that she hadn't showered today.

"You prepared that quickly," Bella observed, sitting down next to Edward on the puff. He handed her the plate, and thankful, she took a bite out of the sandwich.

"Actually, your mom made that. Apparently she knows what comfort food you like."

Edward waited patiently for Bella to finish her breakfast (brunch?), busying himself by braiding her hair. She'd taught him how to do it like a month ago when she claimed that her arms were too tired to move and needed his help. When he was done, he kissed her temple and leaned back.

"Are you ready to talk, love?"

Bella sighed.

"Do I have to?"

"No, you don't. But I think it'd help me understand you if I knew what this was about." Edward answered honestly, not wanting to pressure her into talking but also beside himself with worry about what had thrown her off so much.

About ten minutes went by with neither of them saying a word. Bella wasn't sure how to begin, and Edward didn't have the faintest idea what this could be about. So he waited while she thought, and eventually, she began her story.

"You know how my parents divorced a long time ago? Well, originally we're from this town called Forks, in Washington. It's a small place with small-minded people, so I was never thrilled about visiting. But I _did_ miss my father; I was always a daddy's girl. I'd spend half of summer vacations with my dad, take turns with Christmas and Thanksgiving between my parents, and he would usually come visit me for spring break. Forks was always a bleak and dreary place, but I could take it because it was the place where I had my dad all to myself."

It was the most Bella had ever shared with Edward about her father, and he realized he'd always figured she didn't like the man. She'd spent two weeks with him in the summer and she'd complained every day about how much she hated the humidity.

Edward squeezed her hand in encouragement. Taking a deep breath, she continued.

"Six years ago, I visited my father during the summer just like every other year. The first three weeks or so had been great —I spent every second I could with my dad, and if not with Quil Ateara, one of my friends from the reservation a few miles from my house. I went to a beach party with Quil one day, and there was a couple of older kids —Leah Clearwater, Sam Uley, Emily Young, Embry Call. Leah's dad and my dad were fishing buddies, but I hadn't seen her since she'd gone off to college. Same went for Sam. I... during that party, Leah and Sam started taunting me. I don't even remember how it started or who started it. They started saying I was fat, ugly, that my dad didn't love me. That I... could only hold him back. I wasn't even fifteen yet, Edward. I took those comments to heart. I spent the next month starving myself —I spiraled down quickly. I even called my mom to tell her I'd be home by the end of the summer. I didn't want to leave Forks without having proved to those assholes that I really _was_ beautiful, that I really _was_ skinny, that I was irreplaceable to my dad. How sad was that? I'd never cared about my appearance before I had two idiotic college kids telling me I wasn't desirable, and I never cared again after them. So... at another party..."

Bella took a moment to compose herself.

"I still don't know what they gave me. They must've spiked my drink; they knew I'd be desperate to prove how cool I was, how much I needed their approval. Anyway, it's all a foggy memory, and I can never tell what was a hallucination and what was real. I remember seeing... S-Sam's face above mine... And then hearing L-Leah laugh. I blacked out, and when I woke up again I was in Quil's house. He... he _saved_ me from getting raped, Edward."

Bella's heart-wrenching sob almost tore his heart in two. He tried holding her, but she put her hands against his chest and shook her head no. No, she wasn't done with her story yet. His heart dropped.

"Quil had called my dad and explained the situation to him. Dad came to pick me up, and he... He told me I..." Her voice got incredibly thin, and Edward had a terrible feeling about what came next. "He said I shouldn't have been drinking. My own _father_ blamed me for almost getting raped. He told me it was a good thing Quil had walked in when he had, and that he'd talk to Harry Clearwater about straightening up his daughter and her boyfriend. Dad said he'd make sure those two got a stern talking to. I... I almost got raped and my o-own father didn't do more than admonish the people who hurt me."

Bella cried from the bottom of her soul, and it took everything inside of Edward not to kill that damned man. She cried until she was red and her snot ran all he way down to her shirt, not that Edward cared; his girlfriend deserved to let out her suffering as loudly as she wanted to.

He still didn't touch her tough, knowing she wasn't quite finished yet.

"Leah and S-Sam didn't get charged or anything. There was no evidence except for Quil being a witness, and my father said it wasn't e-enough. Quil said he would go through with it, but I was just so t-tired, Edward. I didn't want to fight a losing battle. I spent the rest of that summer holed up in the house; I was afraid to walk outside and run into Sam, or Leah, or Embry. I couldn't even call my mom to tell her I'd be going back early because I didn't know how to explain I almost got raped and my father hadn't helped. Leah and Sam even got married, but they divorced a year after that and he started dating Emily, who'd kind of been his side chick back in high school. I ran into Emily last year in the airport; she told me Sam had told her about what had happened, and that he was still horrified with what he'd done. That he'd one day like the chance to apologize to me in person, and that he'd even accept it if I decided to bring charges against him. I don't know if I can believe Emily, but a small part of me found peace in knowing that he probably still agonized over what he'd done to me. Leah, on the other hand... I haven't heard from. And now..."

Bella swallowed hard, barely able to see past her tears.

"My dad is getting married to Leah's mother, Sue. Harry died like three years ago, and it doesn't surprise me my dad found love with her if I think about it. But it cuts deep knowing that my father would date the mother of my almost-rapist."

The story ended there, and now Edward couldn't hold himself back. He latched onto Bella as though his life depended on it, and he cried into her shoulder like he'd been the one all this had happened to. The pain felt raw, and the more Edward cried the calmer Bella felt. She'd never told this story to anyone, not even the beginning. In the course of one summer she'd been pushed into an eating disorder (which, thankfully for her, didn't have deep roots and she got her eating habits back on track relatively quickly), had almost been raped and had had her relationship with her father destroyed. She went back once a year to see the man, but she never said anything to him beyond "Hello Charlie" and "Goodbye Charlie"; she never left the house, either, for fear of running into the reservation kids. For fear of getting into trouble and not having anyone to help her nearby.

So Bella held Edward tight as the hour passed by, rubbing a hand up and down his back, cooing to him that she was alright now, that she was safe, and that she'd survived. That even now, what stung most wasn't the near-rape but her father's attitude. That she felt safe in Edward's arms, and that she was sorry for not opening up sooner. That she'd learned to live with the terrible events, as did most survivors. That she was a happy person, complete, sometimes bent out of shape but unbroken.

Eventually, his sobs died down. He'd slipped down so his head was buried in her chest, his arms wrapped around her like a vice. He'd rubbed his snot all over her shirt, and at some point she'd taken off his glasses so they wouldn't dig into her skin. Silent now, Edward turned to lay a kiss on her sternum.

"I love you, Bella. You're the strongest woman I know."

"Sometimes I don't feel very strong," Bella admitted.

"That's ok. Only strong people can be alright with being weak sometimes, because they know that no matter what they can be strong again. And that's you, love. Strong. Resilient. Loved."

It took them a while, but eventually they made it back inside the house.

At around the same time they did, the house phone rang.

Bella answered, kind of expecting who it would be.

"Hello?"

"Bella? Bella, it's me, dad. How are you? Mom told me you collapsed with the news." Charlie Swan immediately asked, and the sound of his voice made Bella flinch.

"I'm holding up," Bella said, so far the most she'd spoken to her father in six years.

"That's good, baby girl. Look, Bella, I know you told your mom you wouldn't come, but I really want you—"

"I'm not going. And I'm never visiting you again, Charlie. If you want to see me, you'll have to come down to Phoenix alone. You'll never see me step foot in Forks ever again."

"What? Why? Is it because it's Sue I'm marrying? Bella, I... Please, give her a chance. She's a good woman."

"And her daughter laughed as her boyfriend nearly raped _me_ , _your_ only daughter. I swear, if you ever mention the Clearwater family to me again, you'll never see me. Ever. And you know _I'm_ good at keeping my promises. Have a nice day, Charlie."

Then Bella hung up, hand shaking as she put the phone back in the receiver.

"You did great, baby," Edward cooed, helping Bella to her couch. "You were really brave. I'm so proud of you."

She was too shaken to cry, too tired after the previous cry-fest. All she knew was that one moment she was telling her boyfriend about something she'd never told anyone, and the next she was telling her father her true feelings. She hoped she was free of him; free of his fake love and betrayal. A part of her, deep inside, knew that her father had played a major role in how withdrawn Bella had become in high school; even if she hadn't been the most outgoing person before, after that event, she'd stopped trying to have friends. Emmett was good enough, and the rest could come and go. Though she never quite trusted anyone to have her back, it was enough that she didn't think about her issues on a daily basis.

Huh, it was true, it turned out. Some of the most messed up people went on to become psychologists.

The rest of the day was spent in the treehouse, Bella and Edward regaling each other with stories of what they'd done during winter vacation.

Everyone wanted at least a little bit of normal in otherwise strange days.

* * *

The fourth semester went by quickly.

Life was hectic as always; everyone had a lot on their plate and little time to sort everything out. Bella didn't go to the wedding, and she made no excuses when Grandma Marie called to ask why she hadn't gone. "I don't agree with his choice of wife, Grandma. And yeah, it's personal." Jasper came back from New York, and it only took him a handful of days before coming clean to Emmett and Rose that he was dating Alice. Rose was kind of grossed out, and Emmett had a flash of jealousy before he realized that, despite it all, he was glad Alice had found Jasper Whitlock. During the year Emmett had known the Texas kid, he'd realized the blonde was a really great guy with values that aligned themselves with Alice's. Emmett also figured that Bella had been in on the little tidbit of information, but he let it go; he understood how his best friend might've felt it was none of her business to announce Alice's relationships. Not to mention, it finally made it click for him, what Bella had meant about not wanting to be friends with any of Emmett's girlfriends. The awkward position Bella had been in with Alice and Jasper could repeat itself many times over if Emmett kept trying to stick his girlfriend and best friend together.

Rose and Bella's friendship, on the other hand, got better as well. Despite Emmett calling Bella a petty little thing, Bella really wasn't at all. Now, she wasn't an angel, so it wasn't like she'd say 'forgive and forget', but she could certainly forgive and not hold stuff over people's head. She was now at a point with Rose where they made small talk before hitting the sack, and even agreed when Emmett proposed going on double dates. Whenever they went on one, everyone had a blast; Emmett was goofy and Rose liked keeping his jokes in check, which made Edward and Bella laugh. Rose was a good and valuable woman, just not the friend Bella wanted at the time.

As for Bella and Edward, their relationship had been going steady. If she had to say one time where they hit a bump on the rode, it'd have to be sometime mid-February.

As always, it had stared because of something dumb. Well, dumb to Bella, but definitely not to Edward.

She usually tried having lunch with Edward on Fridays in the school's Subway or the sushi restaurant; he had run-on classes from eight in the morning to seven at night with just one hour to eat, so those two restaurants were closest to his classes. The thing was, it wasn't uncommon for one or two of Edward's architecture friends to tag along, so Bella had stopped seeing Fridays as lunch dates. Usually, she didn't mind; Edward's friends were a blast and he always looked happy hanging out in a large group. The problem?

The times Jackson tagged along.

He was the type of guy that made you feel uncomfortable even if they hadn't done anything. He was a funny guy, and quite popular thanks to his good looks and good grades. But Boy-Next-Door wasn't her style, and she didn't appreciate how she'd sometimes catch him making a mean joke to Edward. The worst time, Bella only felt the after-effects of his careless comments.

They were having lunch in Subway, and for a change, Bella left first. She had to pick up a comic book she'd ordered from the store, and her next class was in one hour; between her natural slowness and her not being one to rush, she needed to leave with time. So she waved goodbye to Jackson, Felix and Lennie, quickly kissed Edward goodbye and left.

Jackson watched her leave the restaurant.

"Dude, your girlfriend is hot as _fuck_ ," Jackson whistled as he watched Bella walk away, turning to wink at his classmate. "How'd you score _that_?"

Though he tried not to show it, Edward was incredibly annoyed. He hated this kind of talk for two reasons: first, he hated feeling that his girlfriend was being seen as a piece of ass and, second, he hated feeling like he was being told he dated out of his league. With Kate, this hadn't happened much; Kate was never as popular as Bella, and people seemed to think they were both within the same range of attractiveness. He wasn't one to have self-esteem issues, but there was only so many times a guy could be told his girlfriend was out of his league without feeling like he really was that ugly. He knew he wasn't the coolest guy out there, but he didn't feel undeserving of Bella's love.

"Jesus, Jackson, Edward's a great catch. Don't make him sound like he's just the upgraded version of minced meat," Lennie scowled at her classmate. He could be a real douchebag sometimes; she wouldn't even sit in the same table as him if he wasn't so desperate to impress Felix, her boyfriend. Felix had a soft spot for Jackson, though who the fuck knew why.

"I'm not saying he's not a good guy," Jackson attempted to defend himself, poorly. "I'm just saying Bella's probably the kind of girl who got crowned Prom Queen and dated the quarterback of the football team."

It made Edward furious to hear someone make those kinds of assumptions about his girlfriend, but he wasn't good with confrontation. So he just said "Nah, she wasn't." And left it at that.

But he stewed.

Oh, he stewed on it long and hard until he'd taken everything out of context, even when he was back home and trying to work on homework. He got a text from Bella saying she was coming over in twenty, and he decided to have a quick shower to wash off the day's muck. When he opened the front door, Bella was frowning. In front of her was a guy that _looked_ like her boyfriend, but wasn't him. He was wearing a boring t-shirt (which Edward only did when he was being pressured to clean up), his hair was wet and pushed back without the usual gel, and he wasn't even wearing his glasses. Either he was wearing contacts, or it was a miracle he'd manage to open the door for her without tripping on air.

"Edward? What's wrong?" Bella closed the door behind her in a hurry, getting on her tip toes and running a hand down Edward's cheek.

He brought his hands up and caught her fingers, bring them down so he could kiss her palms. So she used her other hand to run it through his hair; she rather liked the texture of his hair sans gel, but she'd never ask him not to use it, since he didn't like his hair looking unruly. He sighed heavily.

"You'll think I'm dumb," he said, trying not to think about how much he liked how the blue summer dress looked against Bella's skin.

"Try me."

He fiddled with her fingers for a moment before tugging her into the living room; he sat down, and she followed his lead. Their fingers were still entangled.

"Are you... out of my league? Sometimes it kind of feels like we're in a bad 80's movie where the most popular girl went for the geeky kid even though it wasn't expected. And I just... I wonder sometimes if you'd prefer it if I were cooler or something."

As soon as the first sentence left Edward's mouth, Bella wanted to kill Jackson. She knew that dick was behind this, but now wasn't the time to hunt the prick down. But she was angry —and Edward could tell from how red her face was.

"Edward Anthony Cullen, who do you think I _am_? Some empty-headed clone of a pretty girl? I want to pull your hair off so badly right now." Bella got up from the couch, pacing back and forth. She was livid. "Why... We're not in a _movie_ , Edward. This is the real world. You're the greatest man I know, of course I'm in love with you. We've been over this. I'd love you no matter what you looked like, and I have never, not once, liked you _in spite_ of how you look. Are you saying I'm only attractive to you because I was popular in high school? Is that it? My greatest asset is having a pretty face, and yours is somehow fooling me into believing you were more than just some geek?"

Bella tried breathing evenly, but it was hard with how hurt she felt. She came to a stop in front of her boyfriend, who had his fingers dug into his hair.

"This relationship is between you and me, Edward. I'm sure as hell not dating Jackson. I... I need to know you believe in us, baby. That you know I love you, that there's no such thing as dating out of your league, that I find you so hot it used to be hard for me to even look at you. You're worth so much, and it breaks my heart to think you could doubt yourself for even a moment."

She bent down and kissed his forehead.

"I'm going back to my dorm. Call me when you're ready to talk."

Edward shot out a hand to Bella, stopping her from leaving.

"Love, I... I think there's something wrong with me. For a while now, actually." Edward managed to get out, not looking at Bella. "Ever since we started dating, I've... I've been feeling restless, like the other shoe is about to drop but I don't know why. I'm so happy when I'm with you, so I've tried telling myself it's just lack of confidence, but... it feels like it's something else."

Bella swallowed hard, biting back the hurt at feeling like dating her had made Edward feel bad, and put on her big girl panties. Edward was telling her he felt something was wrong, and she'd listen.

They spent the next hour talking out what Edward was feeling —how he had trouble falling asleep, how tired he'd been these days, how his mind would often be like a blank slate. One moment he was obsessively worrying about how Bella only loved him because he'd been _there_ , and the next he was trying to tuck some sense back into himself, or he'd be telling himself he was bound to fail a class, or that _something_ was wrong and he just didn't know it. He had to stop talking a couple of times because of how badly he'd been shaking, and Bella did her best to hide her tears from him.

As a psychology major, she knew what was wrong with him. As her girlfriend, she didn't want it to be true. Everyone wanted an easy life for those they loved, and what Edward was struggling with wouldn't make his semester any better.

So by the time Edward was done pouring his heart out, Bella tucked his face against her chest and told herself to be strong. She took a deep breath and thanked God that she knew what she did.

"Edward, call your father. He needs to recommend you a good psychiatrist."

* * *

 **Wow, I just realized how heavy this chapter is. There were two pieces of real-world things I wanted to include: the near-rape and the mental health issues. As for the near rape, it isn't really based on anyone's experience, although I had something similar (loosely said) happen to me. I was about fourteen and a cousin of mine (who I only saw once and never saw again) started... well, coming on to me, and it was one of those sexual-but-not-too-sexual kind of things. My father left him alone with me, even though he must've been twenty already. The guy was also adopted, so he wasn't even related to me by blood. So I told my father, told him how dirty I felt, and he just... didn't really care. Didn't think it was a big deal. If I'd given this guy an inch more he would've taken a mile. Don't get me wrong: I love my father, and he loves me and my sister dearly. But he's also a man born in a different time who happens to be emotionally congested who is _also_ incredibly loyal to his extended family. So where I'm going with this is, even the people who would give their life for you can make mistakes in how they handle a situation. As for the mental health thing, I just think it's not something talked about nearly as much. Some mental health issues, like depression and anxiety, are _incredibly_ common -and yet aren't spoken about or they're joked about. Having anxiety doesn't mean you're broken, and having depression doesn't mean you're ungrateful. It means you need help to sort yourself out, and there's nothing wrong with that. **

**Leah.**

 **P.S. Also, the wedding was a blast! I cried a lot; my cousin and his girlfriend had been dating for _sixteen_ years before deciding to tie the knot. They took patience to another level. It was also interesting for me to see how US weddings are; the ceremony and reception weren't like anything I'd ever experienced. Also, since my cousin's family is Latin and his girlfriend is Thai, it was a funny combination of people. My side of the family spent most of the wedding wondering when the dancing would start, and when the DJ started playing some _really_ American songs, nobody danced. Then he put in some bachata (or was it salsa? I can't tell musical genres apart), and boy were we quick to bust a move. :P Know your audience folks.**

 **P.P.S. Thanks so much for all your wonderful reviews, favorites and follows!**


	6. Salty Sweets

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Also, I wanted to get this chapter out on Valentine's, but well... It didn't happen, evidently.**

* * *

It didn't take long for Edward to be diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder.

It wasn't a severe case by any means —for the most part it hadn't interfered with his daily life, and the truth was he'd just barely met criteria for anxiety. But it was important enough for him to agree to a doctor's appointment and to, reluctantly, accept the diagnosis.

The problem came in Edward's refusal to get treatment.

He didn't believe that he needed anything other than a positive outlook and to persevere. He was adamant about having a good support system and not needing therapy or medication, no matter how much his family and Bella pleaded with him to think otherwise. They spent two weeks straight fighting over it —it took a huge fight for them to stop arguing.

"I don't want to get pumped with meds, and I don't want to talk about my feelings with some quack!"

"Quack? You think that's what a psychologist is, Edward?"

"You know that's not what I meant, Bella."

"No, that _is_ what you meant, and let me tell you one thing Edward Cullen. I have worked too hard in college to become one of those quacks you're so skeptical of right now, so I'd appreciate it if you remembered to respect me and my profession even if you're angry."

Bella had gone back to her dorm, leaving Edward in the crowded restaurant.

It had taken four days, but they'd made up eventually. Edward had shown up at her door with the newest issue of one of her comic books, and she'd cried that she'd really been hurt by him belittling what she was going to do for the rest of her life. He'd apologized profusely, feeling like some narrator had called 'Strike two!' in his fight against anxiety, the first being his insecure outburst.

Strike three had come the last day before spring break started in the form of an F in one of his most beloved classes. His head had been too fuzzy for well over a month now, and now his academic life was starting to suffer.

So he called Dr. Cope, the psychiatrist who had initially diagnosed him, and told her he'd be entering therapy.

They started him out with a low dose of some pill called Paxil, and upon analyzing Edward's case, cognitive-behavioral based music therapy. Dr. Cope asked Edward if he wanted to be part of a six-month trial she was conducting upon learning that he played the piano (which had been a shock to Bella since he'd never mentioned it); it was a small-scale trial, Dr. Cope explained, and he was free to pull out at any time for whatever reason. But she wanted to analyze the effect that the mere act of playing music twenty minutes a day had on anxiety patients, especially those reluctant to go to therapy. He agreed and, after an intense moving day, brought his piano from his house to his apartment.

The change in Edward was staggering.

Honestly, most days Bella swore the piano had more to do with it than the pills, but whatever the case, it felt like Bella had her boyfriend back —and better than ever. It took a while for the effects to start showing themselves, but Dr. Cope explained that the pills were slow-acting. Though Bella always wanted to hear Edward play the piano, he never let her —which had her throwing tantrums any time she could. She didn't care if he sucked; all she wanted was piano se... to be a part of his life.

This wasn't to say he didn't have times of anxiety; everyone has worries sometimes, moments where they can't get a thought out of their heads. But those times are meant to be kept at a minimum, and so it was for Edward. The week of his birthday was especially good; he and Bella took a break from their part time jobs (same as last summer's) to party in Las Vegas. He bought her beer since she wasn't yet 21 and she gave him an architect's watch; it had a ruler and a pen pointing to the time. He loved it, but he loved more the girlfriend who knew him so well.

Then it was time for Bella to deal with drama in her life.

One day in July Bella went to Edward's house for BBQ. She was having a blast —Seth was teaching her all about some YouTube dude called PewDiePie or something and all about his controversies, Edward was helping Carlisle clean up the grill and Esme was bringing out the ice cream for dessert. Bella'd helped already setting up the clean plates, and Esme had refused to let Bella get the ice cream. Which had suited Seth, Bella Fan #1, just fine.

Then she got a call from her mother.

"Hello?"

"Baby? Where are you? My texts haven't been reaching you."

"Oh, I'm at Edward's house. Signal's a bit wonky here," Bella explained, thinking of how much the line was cutting even now; it worked just well enough for her to understand her mother, though.

"At Edward's? Bella, can you... come home now? Sorry to do this baby, but your... here." Then the line went dead.

"Who was that?" Edward asked, glancing back from the grill. Bella frowned.

"My mom. She wants me to go home now. She never asks that, so I should head back now and see what it's about," Bella explained, and Edward pouted back.

"Alright, give me a second and I'll drop you off."

It wasn't as if Bella depended on Edward for transport, but he liked driving her around and she lived relatively near enough that she didn't feel it was an inconvenience. Their houses were nearer to each other than to the school —Edward lived twenty minutes away from campus, and Bella forty. At his speed, he lived from ten to fifteen minutes from Bella.

After saying goodbye to the Cullen family, Edward drove Bella home.

The only problem?

Bella recognized the car parked out front.

Instantly tense, Bella grabbed Edward by the forearm.

"Please come in with me."

Edward frowned, not used to seeing his girlfriend so jumpy.

"What's up, love?"

Bella swallowed hard, then pointed to the Honda parked on the curb.

"That's my father's car. I can't... I need someone inside who knows what happened. Who'll have my back."

Logically, Bella knew her mom would have her back if she knew what had happened. However, given that she hadn't yet come clean to her mom and step-dad... things were complicated. In this world, other than the perpetrators, the only person who knew her darkest secret was Edward Cullen. Quil... he'd died a year after the incident. He'd gone surfing one stormy day and did not return alive. Bella missed him dearly, but she was glad that if he had to go he went doing what he loved most.

"What do you think he's doing here?" Edward asked, flicking his eyes towards the house and back to his girlfriend. Bella shrugged.

"Probably just visiting, since I told him I'm never going back to Forks." Bella unbuckled herself, turning to her boyfriend with a somber face. "I'd call Emmett for backup, but he's at that stupid summer camp of his, disconnected from the world." Nervously, Bella turned to face Edward completely. "How do I look?"

"Scared," Edward answered honestly, reaching a hand out and twining his fingers with hers. "I'm in your corner. No matter what happens." He brought their hands to his mouth and laid a kiss on hers. "I love you. Always."

It was strange, but Bella felt like her heart hiccuped in her chest. Then she felt peace —overwhelming, blinding, pure —and she felt like she could face her father calmly. Like she could say hello to a man who shouldn't be called 'dad' with a half-smile because... Because at the end of the day, her heart had a place to seek refuge in.

"I love you _so_ much, Edward." Bella whispered, and the two met in the middle to give each other a sweet, soft kiss.

They went inside the house hand-in-hand. Phil and Renée were in the living room, sitting together on the couch. Charlie was sitting by himself in front of them, which made Bella incredibly relieved. She wouldn't have put it below him to invite Sue along.

"Hi, Charlie," Bella greeted once she made eye contact with her father. Out of spite she wanted to greet the other two as Mom and Dad, but it felt too fake for her to do that.

Charlie flinched but stood up nonetheless.

Somehow, he wasn't what Edward had expected. He hadn't imagined anything concrete, but somehow this hadn't been it. Charles Swan was a man in his fifties with a thick mustache, thick eyebrows and black eyes. He was on the small side —Rosalie was probably taller —and quite thin.

"Bella, Edward, did you have a nice time?" Renée, who was now set on her daughter marrying the redhead, asked. After that mishap in January, Edward had gone back and they'd officially met. Since then, he was constantly texting with the Dwyer couple, much to Bella's bafflement. Not that she minded; she felt like ever since Renée had fallen in love with Edward, she'd become closer than ever to her parents. Edward was only too happy to indulge Mrs. Dwyer in sending her memes and little status updates on Bella, since she was so bad at doing so herself.

"We did. Bella brought some of your apple pie Renée, it was delicious," Edward said, for once not lying about Mrs. Dwyer's cooking. He thanked his lucky stars all the time that Bella wasn't as creative in the kitchen.

"Oh, really? I'm glad. I should send your mom my recipe, then," Renée grinned, showing where Bella got her smile from. Suddenly remembering there was company, Renée started introductions. "Oh heavens, I haven't introduced you two. Edward, this is Bella's father, Charlie. Charlie, this is Edward Cullen, Bella's boyfriend."

A man of few words, Charlie only nodded in Edward's direction. Edward waved awkwardly.

"Sir, it's nice to meet you."

"Charlie's fine, kid." Charlie mumbled. "I've heard an awful lot about you from Renée. You keeping my daughter happy?"

Edward blinked.

"I hope so." Edward turned to face his girlfriend. "Am I?"

Bella blinked at him cheekily.

"The happiest." She squeezed the hand she was still holding before turning back to her father. "How long will you be in Phoenix?"

"Um, just until tomorrow. I couldn't get much time off after the honeymoon's vacation period." Awkward, Charlie sat back down. "Why don't you two take a seat?"

Edward felt like he was in the Twilight zone, but the young lovebirds sat down on the free loveseat.

Pregnant pause.

Charlie cleared his throat.

"Uh... How long have the two of you been dating?"

Edward scratched his chin, thinking back.

"Officially? Seven, eight... Nine months, I think."

Bella shook her head.

"Eight months, nine in August." Bella said, knowing that Edward wasn't all that great at mental math. Not to mention, they weren't the type of couple that celebrated every month they'd been together; they were firm believers in the whole 'it's an anniversary because it happens once a year' thing. Well, mostly Bella; she was still, at heart, a Debbie Downer. Edward wouldn't have minded celebrating their first six months together, though what they'd lacked in gifts they'd made up for in sex.

"How'd you two meet?" Charlie asked.

"High school, but we were just friends then." Edward blushed, looking down at the woman he loved. "I'm kind of thick headed, so it took until last year for me to ask her out."

"I see. I'm glad you did, Edward. You seem like a nice kid."

Edward smiled at Mr. Swan. It was hard not to; he was his girlfriend's father, and he didn't seem like a monster.

"How's Sue, Charlie? I haven't seen her in... Oh, like eighteen years? How's Leah?"

 _Renée Dwyer, you have an ability to stick your foot in your mouth that surpasses even Edward._

Charlie flickered his eyes towards Bella, seeing her as he answered.

"She's doing well, Renée. Leah is... Well, on the run, frankly put. She got caught dealing drugs and fled the country; she faces up to twenty years in prison if she returns to the States."

Bella didn't let up on her poker face, although she _was_ intrigued.

"No! How long ago was this?" Renée couldn't help her shocked face, and though Edward tried to hide it, his smug smile wasn't wiling to stay put. Good; that harpy got what she deserved.

"December. Sue was devastated, but also free. Ever since Leah's divorce... Well, things had gone downhill pretty quickly."

There was something in Charlie's face... Bella couldn't say for certain what it was, but she was sure of one thing thanks to her knowledge of micro expressions: Charlie was hiding something, and he was proud. But what about?

"Well, how'd they catch Leah?"

Charlie shrugged, but the smugness on his face only grew.

"Anonymous tip. She must've crossed the wrong person."

A lie, but the truth. What was he lying about? Bella frowned. She suddenly stood up.

"Charlie, can I talk to you outside for a moment?"

His face became a blank slate again, guarded and unsure. He nodded, slowly getting up.

Bella squeezed Edward's hand when he threw her an inquisitive look.

It's fine, Bella mouthed. She had a gut feeling.

"Well, want to check out Bella's baby pictures? I just realized I haven't shown you," Bella heard her mother say, and then she and Charlie were in the backyard.

There was a picnic table, and Bella led her father to it.

They sat down facing each other, and with her poker face, Bella began her inquisition.

"What are you hiding?"

His mustache twitched.

"I'm not hiding anything, baby girl."

Utter bullshit

"Don't lie to me dad. Tell me what it is."

Charlie pressed his lips together.

"Even if I tell you, you'll think I'm lying."

"I won't, if you're telling the truth." Bella countered. She waited for her father to say anything, but it took such a long time she pulled out her cell phone. She'd just double-tapped a Bob Ross meme when her father began talking.

"Six years ago... I very nearly killed Sam and Leah. When Quil called me, panicked, telling me they were trying to hurt you..." Charlie clenched his hand into a fist. "I was about to leave the station knowing full well I might never come back a free man."

Bella didn't say anything. She couldn't.

"When I picked you up and saw you so heartbroken I... told you those things... because I needed you to believe everything was fine. That I wasn't interested in retribution. Because baby girl, I... I was going to kill those two and make it seem like an accident. Seeing you so scared, so afraid... I behaved like a criminal, not like a father. I was so set on killing those two that I forgot the most important thing was making sure _you_ were ok afterwards. I thought... there'd be time for that later."

Charlie let out a shuddering breath.

He took a moment, then continued the tale.

"I know, everything from the planning to the execution was flawed. But you're my daughter, Isabella, and those two _animals_ laid their finger on you."

The rage was real, Bella realized. She couldn't see the trace of a lie.

"But a couple of days later, when I got Quil's statement and one of my buddies... remember Officer Jenner?... saw it, he told me, There's no way you'll win in court. I realized he was right: even if we managed to bring justice to you the right way, what would be the sentence? A few months in prison? The punishment wouldn't befit the crime. Remember the case of that creep, Brock Turner a few years ago? He was caught, and he still got away with a miserable sentence. Happens more often than anyone would like to think. Anyway, by that moment, I'd rationalized that perhaps I'd be of better use to you a free man than in jail, and that even if I did kill those two, you and I wouldn't feel happy about it. I went over Quil's statement over and over, until I decided to poke around. I'm no detective, but I needed to become one for you."

 _Still no lies_ , Bella thought.

He continued.

"Turns out, Sam was on drugs the whole summer, and Leah was much more his drug dealer than his girlfriend. It made sense: Leah had always been a troubled child, and one of their old classmates, Embry Call, came clean to me about it. He said he was worried about what Leah might convince Sam to do. So I... Decided the one who really deserved hell was Leah Clearwater. Not because Sam hadn't done anything wrong, but because he was probably drugged out of his mind, and in my heart the culprit would've been far more the mastermind's fault than the hitman's."

Charlie looked down, and Bella saw shame flash across his face. Shame at what? There was so much going on through her head she didn't know where to begin obsessing over.

"After Harry died, I knew it was the time to get information on Leah. I... started dating Sue for the sake of finding out information. I managed to poke around enough to find out everything the prosecution would need to convict Leah for a long-ass time on drug charges, then sent it as a whistle-blower. The only guilt I carried was over using Sue that way, especially when I fell in love with her for real. The most staggering thing of all was when I came clean about it in December she forgave me, telling me she understood and thought Leah needed a wake-up call. That she loved me anyways, and that she'd actually kind of suspected my poking around for a while. Sue's a good woman, Bella, but Leah has stolen so much from her, money-wise and in happiness. So I decided to marry her. That's it, Bells. The whole story."

How was she expected to believe all this? After so many years?

"Why did you go through all that trouble?"

He seemed baffled by the question. It didn't seem like such an obvious answer to her.

"You're the person I love most in the world, Isabella. And you were a _baby_ , not even fifteen, when those monsters did what they did to you. Of course I did all that. Any father who loves his daughter would. The only thing I'm eternally sorry for is that I didn't know how to react in front of you. It was only later that I realized I wasn't verbally supportive, and by then... You know I'm not great with words."

It was too much information given to her much too quickly. Even if she saw no deceit on her father's face, he was asking her to believe an incredulous story that had taken him too many years to come clean about. Was he just that good a liar? She didn't know how to believe otherwise. Here he was, looking at her with sincere eyes and a body language that did not lie, asking her to believe that he'd always cared about her near-rape. That he'd never blamed her.

He must've seen the barrage of emotions running through her, because he suddenly stood up. He cleared his throat and let his gaze rest on the top of her head.

"I'm going to stay at a hotel for tonight, baby girl. My flight is leaving at three, but if you want to see me, just say the word."

Bella frowned.

"Didn't you drive here? Wasn't that your car out front?"

Charlie shook his head.

"I was in a cop thing all week in Gilbert, and one of my buddies lent me his car to come see you. He's meeting me in the Mesa airport, actually, so I can give him back his car. It was actually a funny coincidence that it happened to be the same model." Charlie let out a brief, gruff laugh. "You _do_ realize it's a one-day drive, right honey?"

Bella blushed.

No, she wasn't aware; geography wasn't her forte.

Charlie looked at her fondly.

"Your mom always had the same problem, you know. Though she got better with time." Charlie knocked twice on the picnic table. "I love you, Bella. I hope I can talk a little more with Edmund sometime."

Bella's lip twitched, though she just scowled.

"It's Edward." Back when she got along with her father and she used to tell him about Emmett, he always got his name wrong, too; Renée had told Bella that Charlie was just jealous and thought she liked Emmett. It gave her a small measure of comfort to see this habit of his hadn't changed. "And… Even if I've been angry for so long, and even if I don't know wether or not to believe you… You'll always be my father."

She didn't have it in her to tell him she loved him, but from his eyes, he understood.

Charlie coughed, and that was how Bella knew his corny time was up. Charles Swan wasn't a feelings person even on his best day.

The father and daughter duo went back inside to the living room, where Edward and Phil were animatedly talking about baseball. Renée seemed too interested in her magazine for how quickly she put it down when Bella went in.

"Everything alright?" Renée asked anxiously.

Truthfully, it had been hard for her to see Bella grow distant from her father. It had also made her feel guilty; like if she had stuck it out with Charlie, Bella wouldn't have gone through this rough patch. She wouldn't have to split the holidays, she wouldn't have a life apart from one parent. And Renée felt most sorry to Charlie, who'd always been a good sport; he'd accepted Renée having custody of their daughter even though she knew how in love Charlie was with Bella ever since she was born. He hadn't said a word when Renée had informed him she was getting remarried and bringing a step-father into Bella's life. He hadn't even said more than a disappointed "I understand" when she'd told him Bella wouldn't be going to his wedding.

"Yeah, everything's ok," Bella said, and to her surprise, she meant it. Things hadn't been ok for a long time, but right then, they were. Even if she determined he was lying to her —she'd be ok. "I was just telling Charlie that Edward and I wanted to take him out for some ice cream."

Charlie and Edward were quite surprised with the news, but neither protested. Edward was baffled by the offer, but he figured the two must've discussed something that had made Bella propose such a thing.

Edward drove the two to a nearby ice-cream parlor, mostly along for the ride than to eat; he still felt lunch being processed, and he'd stopped being amazed by how quickly Bella had an appetite again. She'd always had a high metabolism, but the last couple of months she claimed to have gained four pounds. Honestly? It didn't surprise Edward if she had (she'd abandoned running pretty early on in their relationship and she ate like an endurance athlete), but at the same time, he couldn't for the life of him tell where the weight had gone. He hoped it was her ass.

The outing lasted less than an hour —Bella and Charlie weren't big talkers, not to mention things weren't resolved between them. And Edward didn't want to put his foot in his mouth, as was usual, so he contributed as little as he could to the conversation. Not to mention, he didn't know how to feel about Charlie; he'd hurt Bella an awful lot, and he didn't know yet what had transpired between them in the short talk outside.

When Edward drove them back to the house, Charlie said he needed to check into his hotel, so he quickly got into his friend's car and drove away after a brief goodbye.

Edward and Bella stayed in the car a little while more.

"So, what was that about?" Edward finally asked. He and Bella were completely turned towards each other, both needing to talk about the past few hours.

"Oh, I kind of… Heard him out," Bella said, then proceeded to repeat the conversation she'd had with her father.

Edward listened intently, shocked about the turn of events. It _did_ seem kind of far fetched, but at the same time, he felt like he understood what must have went on in Charles Swan's head. More than that, he'd seen the way Charlie looked at Bella, and he'd never heard her say that, besides that incident, her father had made such comments. He could understand sticking your foot in your mouth, and he could understand having the wrong reaction to a problem. Bella said she still needed time to analyze wether or not her father had been truthful, but he honestly doubted she'd determine he'd been lying; she seemed willing to believe him, and Charlie seemed willing to do whatever he could for his daughter to give him a second chance. Edward was glad for his girlfriend; she'd spent too long thinking that her father had blamed her for something that had been out of her control, thinking that he hadn't cared that she'd been nearly violated by a college student when she'd barely even gotten her period. He saw how much relief their conversation had brought her; probably more than she currently realized.

"So, are you going to visit him again?" Edward asked. Bella made a surprised face, as though she hadn't thought about that.

"No, I don't think I will. Just because I don't want to risk running into Leah; maybe once they catch her, but until then… Dad's gonna have to come see me. I wouldn't feel comfortable going to Washington any time soon," Bella confessed, picking at a thread from her shirt. "I mean, I know she's on the run and everything, but what if she goes back to seek refuge with Sue? I wouldn't be able to take it."

Edward nodded, clasping the hand that was picking at the thread. He raised it and kissed the back of it.

"I understand, love," Edward said, and he really _did_ understand. Bella was the strongest woman he knew, but she was still human, and people had limits of what they could and couldn't take. It had been hard for him to understand this concept when it came to his fight against anxiety, but once he had, he'd felt a lot of relief; he wasn't weak for being anxious, it was simply the battle life had given him. "I'm still really proud of you for how you're handling the situation. And you know that if any of this ever bothers you, you can tell me, right?"

One of the things he loved most about Bella was that even when he was diagnosed with GAD, she hadn't stopped confiding in him and talking through her own worries. She told him of the times school got too hard, of when a professor had made a rude comment, of when she wanted to go to a conference in LA but was worried about missing class. She never stopped confiding in him, and this he appreciated more than she would ever know; she never saw him as someone who couldn't handle stress, or as someone who couldn't be a partner. He helped her work through her own anxieties the same way she helped him work through his; honestly, he thought she did a much better job than he did, but he chucked it up to their different professions. This wasn't even mentioning what a good sport Bella was when it came to dealing with his monthly emotional breakdown over the sheer amount of projects he had to hand in; architecture was a lot about making models and sleepless nights, and he was eternally grateful that she was there to help. It was in the small things, usually; whenever he had big projects going on, she'd sleep at his place so she could make him dinner and breakfast, be sure he had clean shirts and underwear, and drive his sleep-deprived butt to class (the models were sometimes too big to carry all the way to campus). In other words, she helped him lessen the sure-to-come anxiety. It was hard to explain how grateful he was, even if he did what he could to show it.

Digressing.

Bella smiled, thankful for the offer. And she did know; Edward always had her back, and it gave her the peace of mind few things could.

"I know, Edward. Thank you. And thanks for driving me around today, and for being so nice to my father even if you didn't quite understand yet," Bella leaned closer and gave him a soft kiss, trying to pour her gratitude into it.

Edward kissed her back, swiping his tongue along her bottom lip. He would've gotten further, too, but then Bella flinched and pulled back.

"Much as I love you, I can't stand the heat anymore. I need to go back in." Bella said. Arizona was brutal in the summer, and what little wind there was prevented a heatstroke. They didn't have the AC on in the car since Edward chose to roll down the windows and turn off the car; apparently, he was running dangerously low on fuel and needed to be sure he'd make it to the gas station. This meant that they'd both been showing each other their love by sitting in a burning car for far too long.

"Fine, leave me to this miserable oven by myself. Save yourself," Edward sniffled dramatically, making Bella chuckle and shake her head.

"I love you," Bella said, bending to give him one last peck.

"Love you more," Edward replied, watching as Bella opened the door and unstuck herself from the leather seat. She bent down with a mischievous look in her eye.

" _Finally_ ," she teased, walking over to the driver's side. She bent down again, smirking. "Something that makes sense."

They both laughed, and then Bella went back inside the house. Edward left, marveling at the luck he had with having fallen in love with this woman.

* * *

Near the end of July, Bella and Edward attended a wedding.

It wasn't just any wedding, although to Bella it might as well have been. One of Edward's cousins, Riley Biers, was getting married in Chicago, so the whole family was flying out. By that time, both Edward and Bella had quit their respective part time jobs and were riding high on their last paycheck. This meant Bella was able to buy a pretty cocktail dress; it was a royal blue dress, off the shoulder and the front of it just barely reached her knees while the back went a good few inches lower. Honestly, she just loved her dress, and she was thankful it was a day wedding instead of a night one. As for Edward, he dusted off his usual tux, bought a blue tie and called it a day. The Cullen family was staying at a hotel (Grandma Cullen had a full house, and Grandpa Platt was living with one of Esme's brother, who had a small apartment). This meant that Carlisle and Esme slept in one suite with Seth, while Edward and Bella had their own room. Initially, Bella had been beyond mortified at the prospect of Edward's parents knowing she was probably doing dirty things to their baby boy, but Esme had sent a message via Edward that went something like "You kids don't fool anyone". So, Bella had resigned herself to the shame. She might've been nearly twenty-one, but she in no way felt like an adult.

So, the Cullens (plus Bella) arrived to the hotel the night before the wedding, and everyone pretty much fell dead on their feet asleep. Edward tried convincing Bella that they could have a quicky, but he fell asleep halfway through giving his argument.

The next day, he woke up to a very pleasant feeling. It was early morning, judging from the light, and he realized there was a weight on his lower half. Moaning, he realized it was Bella, who was kissing up his thighs and laying open mouthed kisses on his groin.

"You up?" Bella asked, then giggled at her own pun. He was _up_ the moment he realized what was going on.

" _Yes_ ," Edward moaned when Bella encased him in her hand. She laughed again, though this time she followed that up with kissing the tip of his dick; his heart stuttered in his chest, as it always did whenever she... well, existed in his general direction.

It was only a few minutes, but then Edward was pulling Bella onto his lap and letting her sink down on him.

"You feel so fucking good," Edward bucked his hips up, wanting to bury himself to the hilt. Bella gasped, feeling him reach deeper than he usually did.

"So do you," Bella managed out, lifting herself up and then going down.

They didn't last more than ten minutes —mostly because they were aware of the time constraint— and when they came, they had a hard time remembering why they had to hurry. When they finally did, they rushed; they needed to shower and get dressed, but Bella also needed to do her makeup. She wasn't a person who usually paid so much mind to looking pristine and dolled up, but she wanted to leave a good impression on Edward's family —she'd understood from watching the Cullens that they came from a traditional family and that the Cullen side of the family was concerned about appearances (without reaching soap opera levels of concern).

By the time Edward was suited up and Bella was all done with her routine, Edward was ready for a long love-making session. Bella looked lovely, the dress contrasting against her porcelain skin and making her shoulders look delicate; she looked like a woman who knew fashion instead of the hipster (not really, just a slob) almost everyone knew her to be. When she walked out of the bathroom and did a twirl, Edward choked up.

"You look…" Edward cleared his throat, blinking away his tears. "Like you walked out of my dreams."

And damn if that didn't downright melt the panties off of her. She was glad she'd decided to spend a few more minutes than usual on her makeup; honestly, she wasn't the best at applying it, but she'd been watching YouTube tutorials lately on how to do her eyeshadow and she was confident with her job.

"You look like the star of a blockbuster," Bella observed, giving her boyfriend her version of moonstruck eyes. Because he really did, with his light brown tuxedo and tie that matched her dress; he was also wearing contacts for once (Esme's orders) and his hair was styled messily instead of his usually gelled version. Now, Bella loved how her boyfriend usually looked, but this… Just about made her want to say fuck it to the wedding and have her wicked way with him the whole day.

"Do I?" Edward smiled, running a hand back through his hair. "I feel weird, like this isn't me."

Bella considered it. Hot as she felt her boyfriend was, she didn't know if she would've been as attracted to him without having known him; she probably would've thought he seemed like a playboy. Although, if the inside remained intact, she still would've fallen head over heels for him.

"Do you want to at least take your glasses? In case you get tired of the contacts. I can carry them in my purse."

Edward walked the remaining steps towards his girlfriend and scooped her up in a hug.

"I love you, Bella Swan," he sighed into her neck, making her giggle.

"I love you too, Edward Cullen. Now let's go before your mom kills us."

Together they walked down to the lobby, where Carlisle, Esme and Seth were waiting for the young couple to walk down. Thankfully, it didn't look like they'd been waiting a long time.

"My God, dear, you're a vision," Esme, who looked like a goddess, hugged Bella. Blushing, Bella accepted the compliment and gave her own.

"Bella, are you sure you like my brother? I think you should go for someone younger, more handsome or something." Seth mumbled, his own lovestruck eyes taking in his brother's girlfriend. He was mostly joking, but a part of him hadn't yet gotten over how his geeky older brother had charmed the most popular girl in high school of her year.

Edward slapped him upside the head.

"Now you listen here you little duck-faced runt," Edward began, and Bella nearly burst out laughing. He was referencing a YouTube video from a channel called Epic Rap Battles; Edward could get really obsessive sometimes and start memorizing lines left and right from how often he watched a single video. "You're not more handsome than I am, alright? And also, if Bella liked you, that'd be a crime."

"True," Bella shrugged teasingly. "But as soon as you turn eighteen, let's meet up if things didn't work out between your brother and I."

Bella burst out laughing when Edward pushed her, an adorable scowl on his face. She righted herself and latched onto his arm, blinking innocently up at him. She blew him a kiss and winked, giggling when he blushed and looked away.

"So long as you end up our daughter-in-law," Carlisle carried on, egging on his sons.

"Oh Carlisle stop it, you might end up making them think you're serious," Esme rolled her eyes and looked outside from the lobby. "Oh, that's our taxi. Come on, chop chop."

They got in one of those wider taxis, since they needed one extra spot from the conventional taxi. If it had been up to Bella she would've been fine going on Edward's lap, but somehow she wasn't sure it was either legal or a good first impression for when she arrived at the Church.

It only took them about fifteen minutes, and then they were going inside of a beautiful cathedral, the decorations delicate and tasteful and the pews packed with elegant-looking people.

Bella was thankful she'd decided to splurge a little on her dress. It wasn't designer or anything, but she was also not someone who'd feel self-conscious over not wearing a brand name. She was a lucky person, starting from the fact that she'd never wanted for anything, and Renée had never raised her to place value in clothes. Rather, Bella had always been encouraged to save up so she could travel —and this she did, whenever she could. So while she admired the people surrounding her, that was the most she felt; admiration, but also, an unwillingness to change herself to fit the crowd. She was fine as she was.

"Oh, Esme, you look _beautiful_!" A blonde, statuesque woman came up to Esme, smiling warmly. Esme smiled back just as big.

"Thank you, Maggie, you look absolutely stunning," Esme and the other woman exchanged an air kiss, then separated. Bella looked on. "Maggie, may I present to you Edward's girlfriend, Bella Swan? And, Bella, this is Carlisle's little sister, Maggie Cullen."

Damn she could totally see the resemblance, now that she mentioned it.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Bella smiled easily enough, fighting down her nerves. This might've been a nerve-wracking situation, but she was a confident woman for fuck's sake. The moment she doubted herself, people would see it on her face. "You look just like Carlisle, but pretty." Bella finished with a broad smile so they could see she was joking, if Carlisle's mock-offended face didn't give it away.

Maggie, with her piercing blue eyes, stared down at Bella for a moment; she had to be at least five foot nine, _and_ she was wearing heels. Intimidated didn't begin to cover it.

Finally, Maggie snorted loudly.

"Eddie, you've caught quite the lady here. Bella, is it? Take care of my nephew, and I'll make sure he takes care of you." Maggie laughed, pulling in Bella for a hug. "But don't tell my sister that joke. She doesn't have a good sense of humor when she's as high as she is now."

"Lisa is high?" Carlisle's eyes bugged out, and Maggie pulled back, sighing.

"In a manner of speaking. High on something like Xanax I mean. You know how she gets when one of her kids marry off."

Melissa Biers was the mother of five children, and the groom was her youngest —as well as the last to marry. Edward had gone to more weddings in the last five years than most people did in half their lives; his Aunt Melissa had a litter of children, and his Uncle Rufus had gotten married and divorced three times, which had given him a whopping seven children; two of his kids were still unmarried, and it didn't seem like it was about to change any time soon. In any case, Edward had a big ass family, and he really loved them —he loved even more the fact that they were all in Chicago while he was all the way down in Arizona. It gave him time to miss his family in between every holiday they gathered.

But digressing.

They said hello to all the people they knew quickly, having gotten in at the nick of time. The family of four plus Bella rushed into the first free pew they saw when they heard the hush starting to fall over the invitees. Soon, the ceremony started.

Bella would've liked to say that it went by in a flash, but it didn't. It felt like an eternity.

Renée had never been a religious person, and for all the time she spent at the McCarty's, Bella had never caught the devout bug Emmett's parents had (Emmett had fiercely fought back against it). This meant that, except for that one time she toughed out a Christian Mass (Edward's family was made up of Catholics, thanks to their Irish blood) for Angela's sake, she'd never stepped foot in any religious activity. Oh, also when she went to Jason McCarty's wedding, but she'd been sick out of her mind so she'd been high on cough syrup. And even though Jason was engaged, he and his fiancée were doing the long-engagement thing… like two-years-long kind of thing. So she only had less than a handful of times she'd ever participated in a religious activity.

In other words, Bella was bored out of her mind.

Even with how absolutely out of it she was, Bella had enough respect in her body to at least not pull out her phone in the middle of Mass. However, she did start playing with Edward's fingers and playing tic-tac-toe on his pants (by herself), even going as far as taking the Bible in the pew and searching out an interesting passage.

Edward, on the other hand, found the whole thing to be riveting.

Bella could see it on his face, how he was getting ideas that she had no need to indulge at the moment. He kept lacing their fingers together even though they were sticky with sweat —because of the hour, and the human heat surrounding them, Bella was suffocating. She thought she'd have a heatstroke every time she saw the gleam in Edward's eye get brighter; when it came time for the vows, Edward was silently sobbing, to the point where Bella had to grab his handkerchief and dab at his tears… then his snot. Edward was a messy crier.

Truth was, the whole time he was watching his cousin Riley get married to what's-her-name, he was picturing himself and Bella. Bella, her long hair pinned up and showing off her neck; Bella, the white dress hugging her figure, making him cry with how much he wanted to fuck her but also marry her. Bella, smiling at him and mouthing that she loved him right when Charlie handed her off to him. Him, crying like a broken water tap because he couldn't believe how happy and lucky he was.

He felt the wedding went by in a flash, lost in his thoughts as he'd been. Bella felt the hour crawl by, now bored _and_ worried that she'd be getting proposed to before she was even out of college. She was on edge by the time the wedding ceremony wrapped up, feeling like she was about to be bombarded with questions of whether she wanted a spring or a winter wedding.

To her surprise, nothing happened.

When everyone got up, joyous for the bride and groom, Edward simply squeezed her hand and brought it up so he could kiss the back of it. They made eye contact, and Bella watched as his eyes crinkled around the corners because of how wide his smile was.

"I love you," he said, sweet as always.

"I love you too," Bella said, because if nothing else this was the truth.

The reception was at a _very_ fancy hotel, and Bella marveled the whole time they were inside. She kept pointing out expensive-looking things to an amused Edward, and she even left her boyfriend's side at one time to go with Seth to the refreshment table.

"You know, you look really pretty Bella. The dress suits you a lot," Seth said, chewing down on a canapé. Bella blushed and thanked him.

"Thank you, Seth. You look quite dashing yourself," Bella said truthfully. He might've been too young for her, but she knew he was already quite handsome.

"Thanks. How're you liking the family so far?" Seth asked, grabbing another canapé. Damn, they were good.

"They're all so nice. Your Aunt Melissa too, even though your Aunt Maggie made it seem like she wouldn't be," Bella answered honestly.

"Well, she normally isn't. Xanax makes her quite pleasant," Seth admitted, snorting along with Bella when she laughed like he'd told a joke. He really hadn't.

"I like them. I've always felt it was a shame I don't have a bigger family, so it's a really new experience for me to see you two engage with such a big crowd that's actually related to you by blood," Bella explained, sneaking a canapé for herself. She didn't like them as much as Seth apparently did, but she felt like mindlessly eating.

"I guess we do take them for granted, a bit. Normally, Edward and I are so tired by the end of a family event we forget we like seeing them. I mean, we do have fun, but we also live far from them, so any time we do see them it can be a little too much too quickly," Seth said, then made a face like something hurt. "Oh God, I think that seventh canapé was overkill. I need to go. Can you save me one for later, when I have space again?" Seth grunted out, waited for Bella to nod in agreement, and then made a dash for the bathroom.

She was amazed by how much the boy could eat.

Not even two minutes had gone by, and then Bella was surrounded by four guys —one seemed to be slightly older than Seth, and the other three seemed to be slightly older than her. One of them stood out to her because of how much he looked like Carlisle; they could've been father and son for all Bella knew.

"Hey gorgeous, how you doin'?" The Carlisle-look-alike winked, making Bella feel wholly uncomfortable. Worse still, she'd never been good at this kind of confrontation. Especially not outnumbered as she was. "My name's Eli, Eli Cullen. What's yours?"

"Uh, hi Eli. I'm Bella. Are you related to the groom?" Bella asked politely, trying to look behind him to find anyone who could help her. He seemed particularly drunk, which she was only too aware of. She was already bad at pushing off unwanted advances, but when the one doing so was drunk, it got even harder. There was a moment where she wished she could be saved by Edward —wanted to be like a princess and wait for her knight in shining armor— but then she realized that such thoughts weren't like her. She wasn't reckless, but she could damn well try and talk her way out of this.

"Why yes I am, gorgeous. He's my cousin on my dad's side. He's also kind of been my best friend since we were in kindergarten. I've never met a greater dude than Rileykins, so I'm glad he found Bree."

So, Bree was the bride's name. Bella hadn't paid attention, and Edward hadn't seemed to know either.

Before long, Bella and Eli had hit it off —they'd kept talking about Riley and Bree, then about the crazy Cullen clan, and eventually they were talking about unrelated things. Better still, the more they talked the less he started slurring his words; not to mention, a few minutes into their conversation the other three guys had gotten bored of not being paid any attention and had gone off to dance. It was a lot easier dealing with one drunkard than with four, so Bella was grateful that her plan was working out.

"You know, I forgot to ask who you were here for. Is— My Lord, is that Eddykins I see?" Eli suddenly stood up, and on reflex, Bella stood up as well. When she looked back, she found her boyfriend —looking just a bit annoyed. Edward's eyes made a quick sweep over Bella, and whatever he found relaxed the tension in his shoulders. "Bella, here, let me introduce you. This is my cousin Eddie, our dads are brothers. And Ed, this is my future girlfriend, Bella..."

"...Swan," Bella finished, amusement the only thing she could feel over the obvious bravado the guy was putting on.

Edward raised an eyebrow.

"Bella, is this how you were planning to break up with me?" Edward asked, and snorting, Bella skipped over to his side. She hugged him around the front, careful not to smudge her makeup on his suit.

"Sorry you had to find out this way baby," Bella joked, squeezing her boyfriend. Everything felt right whenever she hugged him, and this time was no exception.

"Wait, your... Girlfriend?" Eli sputtered, and the shock on his face was enough for Edward to let go of twenty-one years of petty bullying. He hadn't meant to, but he'd accidentally pulled one over on his most popular cousin... and it felt _good_. " _She_ is? Yours?"

Bella giggled, pulling away and turning around so Edward still had her enveloped in his arms.

"Of course, silly. Who else's?" Edward squeezed her, and Bella flashed an even bigger smile at Eli. "Can you believe how _lucky_ I am?" Bella would've said more, but it wouldn't have felt real; Edward had given her a very brief rundown of his family members, and Eli had made the list of those talked about. So even though Bella had briefly forgotten about how much her boyfriend didn't enjoy Eli's presence while she was talking to the guy, she certainly remembered now. And she was nothing if not her boyfriend's ally.

"I thought you were dating that blonde chick!" Eli accused, as if it had never crossed his mind that couples broke up. Bella sighed in annoyance, not at the mention of Edward's ex-girlfriend, but at the accusing tone.

"I was, like three years ago. And you know very well that her name is Kate, Eli," Edward said, annoyed. He might not have loved Kate anymore, but she'd once held a special place in his heart —she was worthy of his respect, even though time had gone by.

"Right, sorry dude. I was just kind of… shocked, I guess." Eli apologized, sticking his foot in his mouth while doing so. He continued. "I just didn't expect Bella to date a guy like you, Eddie."

Bella frowned.

"Eli. I'm sorry that you can't see what an amazing man Edward is, but please don't insult me by questioning whether or not I love him."

"I didn't—"

"You did, and I'm telling you not to. You're his cousin, and also drunk, so I'm gonna let it go this once. But next time I won't hesitate to act. Have a nice evening, Eli." Then Bella grabbed Edward's hand and stormed off outside of the reception.

"Bella, I think you're cutting off the blood flow to my hand," Edward complained, as always impressed by the sheer strength his girlfriend had. Both physically (his fingers were starting to get numb) and mentally. He was suddenly reminded of their graduation party, when he'd been confronted by Bella because he'd been trying to pin on Emmett Lauren's presence; he started chuckling, and when they reached the back of a seemingly-empty building, Bella let go of him and asked with a huff what was so funny.

"Nothing, it's just… I was remembering that time at Emmett's when you almost bit _my_ head off for being such a dick to Em. I never thought I'd be the one being defended," Edward admitted, and a question surged in his mind. "Uh, did you… By any chance like me back then?"

Bella blushed.

"Yes I did. Why?" Her tone was accusing, as though she'd gotten caught with her hand in the cookie jar. Truthfully, she just felt a bit foolish at this point, revisiting all the times where Edward unknowingly crushed her spirits given that he didn't know about her massive crush on him. Not to mention a tiny part of her wanted to be pined over (the dramatic part that enjoyed reading romance novels every once in a while), and having a boyfriend that started dating you less than six months after breaking up with his girlfriend wasn't exactly conductive to getting that wish. There was conflict in Bella, in either case: she wanted her boyfriend to pine, but she also didn't want to have him hurt in any way.

All of this was just in Bella's over-active imagination, given that said boyfriend was already hers and he'd never pined, nor would she do anything to change that. In other words, Bella had had one champagne too many.

"I was just thinking, you know, that I must've seemed like a dick to you back then, so I'm amazed you liked me anyway."

Bella rolled her eyes.

"Don't you know girls don't like good guys?" Bella said sarcastically, snorting at her own rhetorical question. "I've never understood when people say that. I wouldn't have liked you if you'd been a 'bad boy', that's honestly such bullshit. Nobody likes being mistreated, and whoever does clearly needs my services."

Edward laughed.

"You know, you're the only normal psychologist I know. Every time you tell me about your college friends they always have some kind of issue they can't let go of."

Bella raised an eyebrow.

"I did admit to you the mess with my father as well as my short-lived eating disorder, didn't I?"

Edward chuckled lightly.

"You did, but... You don't base your whole existence on your problems. Let me see, how do I explain it? Uh... Ok. Everyone goes through things in a varying degree of difficulty, right? But some people are always hung up on the problems and never try to move past them. They're frozen in this awkward spot where they complain about being unable to be happy but being unwilling to do anything to change. That's an exhausting way to live, Bella, so I guess what I'm saying is I'm glad you don't let those issues tie you down."

Bella smiled back.

"Aw, that's sweet," she said, half joking and half serious. "In all seriousness though, thank you. It wasn't easy choosing to be happy. Although, I will admit I didn't handle things the best I could. It could've been better, and I should've gotten help back then. I'm sorry to myself that I didn't."

Whenever she thought back to those first couple of years, she remembered the unbearable loneliness she'd felt at times —she'd felt abandoned and like she couldn't rely on anybody for anything. Time went by, and the feelings had slowly melted away until they were just an unpleasant memory to be had a couple of times a year. The moment she'd spoken about it to Edward, though... her heart had felt free. She'd bottled it up for so long —had told no one— that the mere act of talking had been therapeutic. Even more than her talk with Charlie, she'd found peace in knowing someone else knew her story and shared her pain. Funny how simple people could be.

"You did the best you were able to, and I'm proud of you," Edward said, laying a kiss on her forehead. He wrapped his arms around his girlfriend, crushing the side of her face to his chest, and sighed while looking up at the stars. "I never thought I could love someone this much."

Bella's heart hiccuped in her chest.

"Jesus, you can't say that all of a sudden. My heart can't take it." Bella said, mostly joking. She squeezed him harder, happy and in love. "I didn't know I even _could_ fall in love."

Edward ran a hand through Bella's hair, something that she loved. She'd never told him, but if she could've she would've purred.

"Nobody ever caught your eye?" Edward asked, then continued smugly. "Apart from me, I mean."

Bella thought about it.

"No, not really. I think I liked Emmett when I was six, but he still thought girls had cooties so that never went anywhere. And when I dated Garrett I knew early on that things were going nowhere with him. So it's just been you."

Edward groaned.

"Damn, I forgot about Garrett. Did he kiss you?" Edward sighed, pulling back slightly so he could look at Bella's eyes. Sheepishly, Bella nodded. He sighed again. "Shit, I'm gonna have to go find me someone pure then. This isn't gonna work out. So long then."

Gasping with pretend-horror, Bella went along with it.

"Oh yeah? Well your other conquests are too much for me to handle, anyway. A man who's kissed over _two_ women in his life? Blasphemous." Bella scoffed, pushing on Edward's chest lightly as if to get him away from her.

"Three total, considering my first grade art camp girlfriend. Our love was fleeting, but it was real," Edward sniffled, then perked up. "Hey! This means you and I have kissed the same amount of people, doesn't it?"

Bella laughed.

"Sure, if kissing Emmett counts, which it shouldn't."

"If Clare counts, so does Emmett."

"You know this conversation degenerated quickly, right? Let's get back to how much you love me," Bella batted her eyelashes at Edward, who smiled indulgently.

"Oh yeah? You want me to tell you more? I thought you'd say I'm too cheesy and push me away."

"Never," Bella said cheekily, getting on her tip-toes to lay a quick kiss on him. "So keep telling me, won't you?"

He bent down so he could whisper it in her ear.

"I love you more with every day that goes by. When we were just friends, after my breakup with Kate, I used to rehearse in my head over and over what would happen if I were to ask you out. If you'd say yes, if you'd ask me to just be friends. The only reason why I got the courage was because I knew that even if you didn't like me that way, you wouldn't make me feel like shit, and you'd give me a proper answer. I was so sure of what kind of woman you are that I chose to put my heart out there even though I never had before. And the way you come over to my place all the time to make sure I'm alive and eating, or that I make it to class in one piece —even if I'm at the height of my frustration I can't help but think of how fucking much I love you. Even how you handled my anxiety disorder… I mean, most people would've just chucked it up to jealousy and have been fed up with me. You saw it for what it was though, and you've been with me through every step of the way. You're the partner I never knew I needed, Bella, and I'm so thankful we found each other."

A blubbering mess, Bella pulled back and encased his cheeks with her hands, taking advantage of having him be almost eye-level with her.

" _I_ found _you_ , and you're the greatest treasure I have," Bella admitted, laying a kiss on him that melted the socks right off of him.

Sometimes it scared Bella how much she loved Edward Cullen. She'd never loved anyone before, and suddenly she had this intense feeling for someone she'd barely dated a year for. She hadn't told Edward yet, but sometimes she had to stop herself from breaking up with him —she thought she'd be better off ending things now than letting the love grow even more. But the truth was she was too far gone already, and breaking up with him was near impossible.

"Edward, why're you making Bella cry?" Seth's voice suddenly called out, and surprised, Bella broke the kiss. She looked like a deer caught in the headlights, and when she turned around, she saw that Seth was holding up a camera (his birthday gift) with a mischievous grin on his face.

"I'm not, you snotty kid," Edward retorted, wiping the tears off of Bella's cheeks. They started walking towards him. "How long have you been standing there?"

"I don't know, but long enough to take some pictures," Seth grinned, then pulled out a handkerchief when Bella was close enough. "Here."

"If your brother hadn't just melted my socks off I would ask you to be mine," Bella sniffled, laughing as she took the hankie. "Thanks, Seth."

"Damn, you weren't fighting?" Seth sighed in (mostly) mock-frustration. "What does a guy have to do to break up his brother and his girlfriend?"

Bella grinned, dabbing below her eyes.

"Seth, you'd have to be Jason Momoa," Bella said, laughing when Edward elbowed her. "What? I'd also give you up for Lily Collins."

"Hey!" Edward whined, although he understood more getting dumped for Lilly Collins than for the burly dude. In his mind it went:

Bella Lily Collins Robert Downey Jr. Edward Jason Momoa

Although right now, with how Bella had looked at him when she'd come out of the bathroom…

Bella Lily Collins Edward Robert Downey Jr. Jason Momoa

That was honestly a huge step forward for his self-esteem. Also, even though he knew if he told anyone about this 'ranking' they'd either say he was lying or whipped (he most definitely was the latter), but truth of the matter was, Bella had a staggering beauty that beat any Hollywood actress in his mind. It wasn't just him who thought this way; the first time Esme had met Bella, his mother had told him if he _was_ sure she wasn't a supermodel. He was sure, he'd told Esme, but he hadn't told her he was also quite confident someone was always trying to scout his girlfriend. He spent so much time with her, though, that he occasionally stopped being starstruck —the times when he remembered were frequent enough, though, that he never forgot how weird it was that the most beautiful girl he knew loved _him_.

He was still working through that way of thinking.

Bella got upset any time he brought it up, and for good reason. Nobody wanted the people they loved to question themselves.

Digressing.

"I'm kidding, you know you're the most handsome guy I've ever met," Bella giggled, kissing Edward's cheek. Appeased, he smiled down at her.

"You've never met Jason Momoa though," Seth pointed out the technicality, and Bella jokingly glared daggers at him for exposing her.

They spent the rest of the night that way, joking and laughing and having the most fun they could.

\\-.-/

"God, I'm beat," Bella sighed when they entered the hotel room. After the beautiful words Edward had given her, Bella'd been so happy that she'd gone to have a glass of wine (or four) and had then proceeded to head to the dance floor, where she insisted Edward dance. He'd indulge her for twenty minutes, get tired and go sit down; then he'd catch one of his male cousins trying to hit on his girlfriend or a family friend dancing closer and closer to Bella, so he'd be forced back on the dance floor to keep the guys away. After two hours of the same antics he resigned himself to just stepping in if anything seemed inappropriate, which thankfully, nothing happened —the last half hour of dancing Seth hoarded Bella and got her to dance some kind of move he'd never seen before. Probably from that Frotnite game or whatever it was called.

Thankfully, at around two in the morning, the Cullen family called it quits and headed back to the hotel; Seth leaning against Bella in the car, deeply asleep, and Bella leaning against Edward with a content smile.

The moment they went into the hotel though, Bella had taken off her heels and let Edward drag her into their room, saying a faint goodbye to the rest of the family.

"Well, you danced a lot," Edward pointed out, watching how Bella chucked her heels near the door and collapsed on the bed face down.

"I did. Did you have fun?" Bella asked, her face muffled by the duvet. Laughing, Edward said he had. "Good, me too. Riley and Bree make a nice couple."

"I think you and I are much cuter together," Edward retorted, making Bella giggle.

"Help me take my dress off? I'm too tired to move."

Smiling fondly, he helped her; it took a bit of maneuvering, but he finally managed after a minute or two. When he did, he laughed.

"What?"

"Nothing, it's just… I didn't realize you were wearing your Batman panties." Edward chuckled, bending over and kissing her right butt cheek. "Have I told you you're adorable?"

Bella wiggled her butt.

"You've mentioned it, although personally I think all the studying as affected you," Bella confessed, smiling to herself. Nobody else ever said she was adorable, but she liked hearing it from Edward.

"Well, you're the cutest person I've ever met," Edward declared, kissing her other butt cheek. Then he flipped her over and pulled her up, holding her pajama of choice for this trip up (which happened to be one of his t-shirts). "Arms up."

Groaning, she did, and he pulled it over.

"Stay like that. I'm gonna take off your makeup."

He went over to the bathroom to grab one of her makeup remover towels, and took the opportunity to change out of his suit and into his own pajamas.

When he went out, however, Bella was out like a light.

"What am I gonna do with you," Edward muttered to himself, getting on the bed and wiping off her makeup the best he could. The eye stuff was especially hard, but after a few minutes he managed it. It wasn't unusual for Bella to forget to take off her makeup, but whenever she did she'd break out —which was a huge no no in her book.

Done, Edward sighed and managed to tuck Bella into bed.

"Edward," Bella sighed, and burrowed closer to his warmth.

Smiling, Edward felt asleep, because somehow it felt real nice to have your girlfriend say your name in her sleep.

"Mmm… Jason."

Edward lost his smile.

* * *

 **Well, we finally know what happened with Charlie. You know, it was hard for me to decide what would happen -would he be a terrible father? Misunderstood? Finally, here's why I decided I didn't want him to be the villain: most of us aren't. Many of us make the wrong decision sometimes, and we disregard what's going on around us, but that doesn't make us bad guys. Often, we feel everyone is against us and don't realize how many allies we have close; in a way, I wanted to reflect this too. Issues are rarely ever black and white, and the people _I_ know of that have true villains in their life... they're the type that desperately need help because of how bruised their heart is. Bella's isn't, so it'd be hard to make her have a truly bad man in her life (at least for me). **

**As always, thank you so much for your sweet reviews, for favoriting and following! :))**

 **Leah.**

 **P.S. Also, I might take a little longer with the longer chapter. Do not despair, my beautiful readers. I will be back.**


	7. If They Should Reunite

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Also, sorry for doing this to you. :P**

* * *

January of their last year in college, the happy couple broke up.

It was a number of factors that did it, not just one thing. It happened at a time when neither were expecting it, so the shock of it remained with both for a long time.

They'd been having a fantastic year, truly; they'd celebrated two years together the last semester, and both felt as happy with the other as ever. Then summer ended, and with it it took some of Edward's mental stability slowly but surely. He stopped going to therapy, and he even abandoned the piano (he never got around to showing Bella how he played, either). Everything went downhill from there.

On Bella's end, she'd been caught off guard by Edward's sudden negativity. She'd gone to do another course in micro-expressions for half of the summer, and she'd come back on cloud nine after having done her best in the workshops. She liked the classes from her second-to-last semester, and even her friendship with Rosalie had kept steadily improving. Anyway, Bella was having a great year… when suddenly, Edward's attitude changed in October.

It wasn't that he became someone totally different, but the untreated anxiety finally caught up with him. He started asking her not to wear her usual tight pants, even though he above everyone else loved how they shaped her ass; he went over to her dorm even when he had unfinished projects at home, making his grades fluctuate. His nightmares kept her up most nights. He would be nervous when she didn't reply to his texts after half an hour, even though he knew she was most likely reading through a comic. It was frustrating, to say the least, feeling like her privacy was gone and like the green monster inside of her sweet boy kept growing.

Bella knew that it was the anxiety disorder speaking, but it was _Edward_ choosing not to get treated. They started arguing more and more often —if not about Bella's aloofness, then about Edward's anxiety issue. They still had their sweet moments —Sunday mornings neither ever felt like arguing, so things seemed like they always had— but bit by bit they started feeling like the other wasn't listening.

When they broke up, Edward wasn't ready for it.

"I'm just saying, if you think I should go back to the psychiatrist, then I think you should go with me. Something's up with you too, Bella," Edward was arguing, clanging pots as he attempted to make dinner.

"Edward, what's wrong with me is I'm _tired_ of you feeling like your anxiety is going to suddenly disappear. It's not; it's a medical condition which needs the corresponding treatment. _Please_ , help me help you."

Edward groaned, putting down the uncooked pasta he was about to put in the boiling water.

"Bella, I'm fine. I can handle this much."

"Well, I can't!" Bella finally declared, getting up from the kitchen counter. She went up to Edward and stuck her finger in his chest, frustrated. "I'm tired of your mood swings. I'm tired of feeling my heart hurt because your nightmares won't go away. I'm tired of you fighting me when I tell you I'm going to wear what I fucking want, and I'm tired of you asking me over and over again if I'm sure I love you. I never encouraged you to have the jealous or insecure spouts, so I'm _sure_ it's not me who's fed fuel to the fire. And I've been telling you for months now that you need help, and I've given you time and I've given you tools, but you… You're stuck, Edward. And I need to move forward."

He looked down, stone-faced.

"Are you breaking up with me?"

For a moment, he remembered Kate breaking up with him. How he'd felt confused back then, not knowing what exactly he was meant to do or think. He'd felt down for three days, and then life had gone back to normal. Now, he felt like someone had carved his heart out. Now, he didn't know when he'd be himself again.

Her eyes threatened to well up with tears, but she bit them back. She knew that if she broke down now she wouldn't be able to get this out. Eventually, she nodded.

"I love you, Edward, I do. I want the very best for you. I just… don't think I'm it. You started feeling this way ever since we started dating and maybe we're just not meant to be together. Maybe I hurt you more than I help you." Feeling small and like she had a knot in her throat, Bella spat out the rest. "I love you, but I don't like you very much right now."

Edward looked down at his feet, pushed his glasses up his nose. He pursed his lips together, scrunching his brows up. He was trying not to cry, but he didn't want Bella to know. He didn't want to burden her with the knowledge that he was dying inside.

He cleared his throat.

"I understand, Bella. Is this… it?"

Feeling like she wanted to lock herself away, Bella said yes. It was. This wasn't some time apart, this wasn't a break, this was final. She didn't want him changing for her, which she thought was something he might attempt if she said it was only some time off. She needed him to change for himself, because he needed a bright future.

"Alright, if it's what you need. Do you want me to give you back your things?" Edward asked in monotone, and sniffling, Bella shook her head no. "Yeah, me neither. Do with them what you will."

"Mine too," Bella whispered, also looking at her feet.

She wanted to give him one last hug, but if she did, she'd break down sobbing, and she didn't want to burden him with her tears. Besides, this was her decision, and she wasn't about to regret it. It wouldn't be fair.

"Bye, Edward," she mumbled, and without waiting for him to utter a word, Bella left.

Wordlessly, he went and got in his car, then drove on automatic to his parents' house. It was Sunday afternoon, so he knew everyone would be in. It didn't matter.

He parked inside the garage, walked inside and found his parents lounging on the couch in their pajamas. Seth was probably upstairs playing some video-game.

"Edward? You're home?" Esme asked, surprised to see her son in the living room. When she saw his face, she hurriedly got up. "Baby, what's the matter? Did something happen? Are you hurt?"

Carlisle got up too, eyebrows scrunched together and analyzing his son from head to toe. Physically, everything seemed fine but… was that blood on his knuckles? Later, they'd find a hole in one of the garage's walls, and their hearts would hurt more.

As it was, Edward's eyes suddenly welled up with tears, and he shrunk three feet and became the kid they'd once known him to be.

"Mom, Bella broke up with me," Edward said, in a voice so small and broken that both parents felt their hearts shatter.

Then he broke down crying in Esme's arms, and neither mother nor father could remember a time when their son had sobbed so brokenly.

* * *

"I still can't believe you and Edward aren't back together," Rose kept saying, shaking her head in disbelief. "And that you're even going on a date!"

"Well, it's Valentine's Day, and I was sort of tired of all the invites," Bella retorted, grabbing the first skirt and shirt she could find.

Word had gotten out fast that Bella Swan was single and ready to mingle within days of her breakup, and more and more boys had come back with a vengeance to ask her out. She wasn't interested in any of them, not even the one she'd agreed to go on a date with. In fact, she wasn't sure she had gotten his name right. But he'd seemed nice and not pushy, so she decided to go for it; he also looked nothing like Edward, which was a plus.

"But you're not ready to date again, darling," Rose frowned, looking at her friend assess the outfit choice on the mirror. It matched, and she'd look beautiful as always, but she hadn't spent more than twenty seconds picking it out. It was such a stark contrast to even her first date with Garrett that Rose didn't know what to say.

"I'm… not. But I need to get out again, and this is just one small step."

Truth was, Bella _did_ go see a psychiatrist after her breakup; she hadn't thought Edward had been petty about saying she should go to one, and had instead taken his advice. She was diagnosed with minor depression and put on a low dose of anti-depressives, then sent with a psychologist. She was even going twice a week, hoping to get some things out. They were talking everything out —her father, the near rape, the eating disorder, her relationship with Edward and the breakup. They even talked about her relationship to Phil and Renée, and her friendship with Emmett and the whole thing with Rose. Well, they'd skimmed over most of it, because they were currently focusing on the breakup —what was affecting her the most.

 _"_ _We're going to examine Edward's behavior, Bella, but we're also going to analyze yours."_

So far, they'd only gotten around to broaching the subject of how Bella felt responsible for Edward's anxiety and how, one of the key points in their relationship, was that Bella often had one foot out the door. It had been tough for her to admit that was the truth, but she inevitably did: she was so scared of screwing up all the time, so scared of finally being in a relationship, that she'd put up with certain behaviors for far too long. _"You shouldn't have waited a semester to put your foot down on Edward treating his anxiety, Bella. Being in a relationship means that whatever one does affects the other, so it's not like his bad decisions are his alone anymore."_

It was tough, honestly, but Bella enjoyed talking out all of her own worries and feelings of inadequacy. She knew now that it wasn't just about pressuring Edward to get treated on his own, it was also about leading by example. Certain signs of depression had been overlooked, but now Bella was doing what she could to get better. One of the things she should do, her psychologist said, was get out of her room more —chances were slim she'd feel better by doing what she always did. Monotony wasn't depression's friend.

"Yeah but honey, you don't have to date in order to go out. We could go to the movies, or we could go do something else you like, you know? Doesn't _have_ to be a date. Is this… about wanting to move on?"

Bella shrugged.

"Attempting to, anyway. I'm just looking for a fun night out, Rose, not a relationship. Don't worry about it."

Eventually, Rosalie stopped her worrywart line of questioning, and Bella got ready for her date in around five minutes flat. A knock resounded on the door, and when Bella opened there was a guy with dirty blond hair and piercing blue eyes smiling for her.

"Hi, I'm Josh. Are you Bella's roommate?" Josh greeted Rose, who smiled stiffly and said she was. "Nice to meet you. Anyway, we're running late. Bella, shall we?"

She bid adieu to Rose, and off they went on a date.

Ten seconds after Bella left, Emmett went into the room, eyebrows raised.

"Bella wouldn't have given the time of day to a guy like that before. He looks like a player, doesn't he? What's she even thinking?" Emmett muttered angrily, plopping down on Rose's bed with a huff. She sat down next to him gingerly and laid a hand on his arm. She sometimes forgot about how fiercely the two best friends loved each other, but times like these made her remember.

"She's thinking she's hurt and needs a change of pace. I hope for her sake the date goes well, but I'm not sure what will happen if it does. She says she's not planning to get into a relationship, and I think she's right. She's not ready."

Sighing, Emmett kissed Rosalie on the cheek.

"I need to hit the sack, alright? Early start tomorrow with practice. Love you."

He got up, smiled when Rose got up as well and laid a kiss on him.

"Love you too," she said, and before he could go he remembered something.

"Right, there's this frat party I got invited to two weeks from today. Wanna come with me?"

Rose scrunched her nose up.

"Sorry, I've got a cooking class the next two Fridays. But have fun without me, alright?"

Emmett nodded, gave her a chaste kiss and left.

Sighing, Rose laid a hand on her stomach and plopped down on the bed.

* * *

As everyone had predicted, Bella had a terrible time on her date. Josh was boring as fuck, she told Rose, and he took her to the _movies_. At least it was a good movie, or else she would've fallen asleep. Then he took them to the club, where Bella proceeded to ask for a Margarita and called it a day with the alcohol. Then Josh took her home (at least he had enough sense not to drink and drive), and he tried kissing her —but Bella managed to scurry away. She told him thanks for the night, but that she felt they were better off as friends. The look in her eye had made it clear that 'friends' wasn't it either.

Bella decided to focus on herself for what remained of college, at the very least. She'd lost focus of herself in some things, and she knew she needed to get back on track.

"So, you still haven't told him about the little bun in the oven?" Bella asked Rose the night of the frat party. They were pigging out on popcorn and ice cream, happy to watch a comedy special on Netflix.

"I haven't known how to. I mean, what's he gonna _say_? And I found out after New Years, you know? I feel like I'm gonna let the little fact go by for seven more months and then surprise him with a new baby."

Bella pressed her lips together.

"That doesn't seem feasible. I mean, he loves your boobs, sure, but he's bound to realize you've put on a few pounds below in an oddly round shape, right?"

Rose sighed in frustration.

"I just… I know that this is going to derail his plans, you know? He's so set on marriage, then white picket fence, and _then_ babies that I don't want to know what he's gonna do when he finds out the condom broke. Shit, Bella, I just… I don't know how to tell him."

A part of Bella wanted to threaten Rose with telling Emmett herself if she didn't do it soon, but she also knew this wasn't up to her. They were the parents to be, and they had to sort it out themselves. Bella only found out because after hearing Rose rush out of the room to puke, she found a positive pregnancy test in the trash can; brilliant, Rosalie was not. Bella knew her best friend though, so she knew that things would be alright; she was close to getting Rose to believe that, too.

In the frat party, Emmett was having his own stroke.

He'd gone in, ready to have a couple of beers and then call it a night, when he'd seen a familiar face in the crowd. He'd gone up and scared the bejesus out of Jacob Black.

"Jake! Dude, what're you doing here?" Emmett boomed, guffawing when some gin and tonic fell on Jake's shirt. Vanessa was there with him, laughing at her boyfriend as well. "Hey Ness."

"Hey Em."

"I got invited, you douchebag. I thought this might be one of the last college parties I'll be invited to, so I thought what the hell? Let's go for it," Jake downed the last of his drink and turned to properly greet Emmett with a bro hug. "How's it going dude?"

"Good, good. Here just for a beer or two, and then I'm out. Practice has been grueling this week so I'm looking forward to a day off tomorrow."

Jake grimaced in sympathy.

"I get what you mean. This week there's been an awful lot of nearly totaled cars, so I've been working my ass off ten-fold. You here with your girl?" Jake asked, scanning the crowd for a tall blonde. They'd met in another party last year and had hit it off in a surprising way; Rose had nearly become a mechanic herself, only her father had insisted on her pursuing an academic degree. She hadn't been opposed enough to put up a fight, but a part of her did feel like she would've liked more to be surrounded by cars all day.

"Nah dude, Rosie had a cooking class or something."

"And that best friend of yours? How's she doing?" Jake asked, not needing to say 'after the breakup' but knowing it was understood.

Emmett shrugged.

"She's doing fine, little by little. She had us worrying there for a bit, but she's getting her shit together quite nicely now. And Eddie? How's he?"

Jake sighed.

"Not as well. He's just barely started going back to therapy, and that was after a super heavy intervention from Mrs. C. He's dating this Lennie chick, and she's nice don't get me wrong, but she's not Bella."

"That name rings a bell," Emmett frowned.

"She was dating a guy called Felix a while back, they're some of his architecture friends," Vanessa helped out, and Emmett nodded in enlightenment.

"Right, right. Is it getting serious with this Lennie girl?"

Jake and Vanessa looked at each other, scrunched their noses and shrugged.

"Dunno. He's only told me so far that they've gone on three dates, but nothing else. And that she's nice, whatever that means. He's being secretive, that little asshole. Doesn't want me calling his mother with details."

Emmett shook his head.

"I'll never understand him. He stopped talking to me after they called it quits, you know? Talk about brooding."

Nessa shook her head in understanding.

"He said something about wanting a clean slate or something. Dunno, he's weird." Vanessa offered. They heard Jake's name being called in the distance, and with a brief goodbye, the couple left.

Sighing to himself, Emmett left the party. He wasn't in a festive mood anymore.

* * *

The same day Bella ran into Edward again, Rose told Emmett she was pregnant.

The pregnancy news were relatively simple: they were in Rose's room, she got swept away and told Emmett that she was two months and a half along. Emmett fainted. When he recovered, he cried in happiness for like three hours and swore to protect Rosalie every step of the way.

Bella and Edward's meeting was a lot more painful.

It was a Wednesday night, and Bella had gotten out of class late. She was tired, but she also needed to do some grocery shopping for personal hygiene things. She was in the process of trying to find her shampoo when she felt someone tap her shoulder.

Turning, she found some guy she'd never before seen in her life.

"Uh, hi?" Bella quirked up an eyebrow.

"Hey," the guy, who had jet black hair and wore a really thin shirt, gave her a bright smile. "Sorry, I'm sure you don't know me, but it's just that I've seen you a lot around the library. I'm Eric."

Bella smiled tiredly, not wanting to deal with this at eight at night when she was dead on her feet.

"Sorry, but I need to rush a little, yeah? Nice to meet you, Eric." Bella said, then turned back to trying to find her shampoo.

But Eric didn't like that answer.

He started getting pushy, telling her that he just wanted her name, that he thought she was beautiful, that he was thinking of maybe a drink when she wasn't so busy. And Bella, despite all the times she was asked out and how good she was at saying no, was too tired to think of clever ways to get out of this. She felt herself shrink into herself more and more, and her heart started pounding when she felt the Eric guy grab her elbow when she turned to go away.

"Don't touch me, Eric," Bella heard herself say over the pounding of her heartbeat. But he was getting angry at being dismissed, and his hand tightened on her. She looked around, tried to find someone to help her, but the aisle was empty and she'd seen no one walk by the last minute or two. Should she shout for help? She hadn't seen a security guard inside, so she didn't know where they were. Would someone come if she asked for help? She repeated herself. "Don't. Touch me."

She clenched her eyes shut, ready for the onslaught of anger, but then there was some rustling and the hand was removed from her arm. Instead, she fell back into warmth.

"She said not to fucking touch her." Edward's voice came from behind her, and sagging in relief, Bella let Edward settle her by placing his hands on her shoulders.

"Beat it, four eyes. This doesn't involve you."

Edward straightened, eyes narrowing.

"It does. I'm giving you five seconds to get out of here before I call the security guard and have you thrown out. _Now_ , asshole."

Eric narrowed his eyes back, took another look at Bella, and scoffed.

"Whatever. Not even worth it. Probably going to be a bad lay anyway," he sneered, gave Edward the evil eye and walked out.

Edward turned around to assess his ex-girlfriend, not caring about the stupid insults.

She looked scared, pale as could be, and she had her hand in a tight fist. He didn't remember seeing her so scared before, and he briefly wondered how often things like this happened to her. It wasn't a good feeling.

"Bella, look at me. You're ok now." Edward said, grabbing her fist and prying her fingers open. They shook, and the only thing he thought to do was cover them with his own hand. "He's gone, you're fine."

Blinking back tears, Bella swallowed hard and gave her best shaky smile to her ex.

"Thank you for helping me, Edward."

It had been two months, and the changes in the other had been minimal. As for Edward, the only thing that had changed was he no longer had his hair all gelled up. It looked messy, the way Bella had always liked on special occasions; he was wearing a Ghostbusters t-shirt and his usual glasses, and she was glad about that. Familiarity was good. As for Edward, Bella looked virtually unchanged except she'd cut her hair. When they'd broken up she'd worn it near her ass, but now it just barely touched her shoulder blades. She looked even more beautiful, which tugged on something inside of him. Had she missed him? He hoped she had.

"It's my pleasure. How… how are you, Bella?"

She gave him a small smile.

"I'm good. I've been going to a nearby Church to help give some free counseling; I don't know if you remember me telling you I wanted to get into that. And you? How're your classes?"

He was still jealous of how easygoing she was even in situations like this. She was cool in a way he could never be.

"Of course I remember. I'm glad you got in. My classes… I'm doing well. I haven't gone below a B so far, so I'm really trying my best."

"And _you_? Have you gone back to therapy?" Bella asked, and it made something inside of Edward ache when he saw how genuine her concern was. She still wanted the best for him, he knew. Even though he'd made the last few months unbearable for her.

"I did, like three weeks ago. I'm finally feeling like myself again. Thanks for asking."

Bella's smile was even more radiant this time. It made his heart skip a beat.

"I'm really glad, Edward. Y—"

"Edward! I lost you for a moment there," Bella was suddenly interrupted, and from behind Edward stepped Lennie, one of his architecture friends. Lennie's smile faltered when she saw Bella. "Oh, hi Bella! How are you?" Lennie asked, looping her arm through Edward's. "Haven't seen you in a while."

It felt like someone had stuck a needle in her heart. Like she was suddenly unable to breathe. That's how she was. Her heart was wounded, but outwardly, Bella smiled at Lennie. It wasn't her fault the two had broken up.

"Hi Lennie, I'm fine thanks, and you?"

"I'm _great_ , thank you. Edward, we should get going. Henry's waiting for us in the car," Lennie tugged on Edward's arm. He looked down at Lennie and how she was suddenly clinging to him, and then he looked up at Bella and how she had a very focused look on her face. He recognized that look; she might've fooled anyone else, but he knew that wasn't her nonchalant look.

"Sorry, don't let me keep you. It was good seeing you, Edward, Lennie. Have a nice night," Bella said, turned around and left the supermarket, hygiene be damned.

Edward glanced down at Lennie.

"You didn't have to do that," he said, referring to how he'd called it quits after the fourth date. She'd understood, knowing he wasn't ready to take things further.

"I know, but you looked like you'd have a seizure if you talked to her alone a second more," Lennie shrugged, giving her friend a bright smile. "She didn't seem to mind me."

Edward sighed, untangling her arm from his.

"Believe me, she did."

And it brought him no satisfaction.

-.-.-.-

The news of Rosalie's pregnancy had Emmett calling for backups. He needed to tell his old-fashioned parents, and he needed Bella's support for it. No way was he going in alone. So one week later, the trio headed north during the weekend to try and break the news.

It went surprisingly well.

Mr. and Mrs. McCarthy really liked Rose, and they knew that she had all the money she could want for, so they were at least relieved in knowing that the baby wouldn't struggle. When everyone started crying, Bella excused herself and said she was going to be stepping out. She walked to a nearby park where, to no one's surprise, she bumped into Seth. He was a junior, would be a senior come August; the couple of years that had gone by had made Seth more and more handsome, and when she saw him taking a picture of the fountain, she was all too happy to call out to him.

"Seth!" Bella called, and he seemed to shake on his feet before he whipped around to see her.

"Bella?" It'd been since New Years that they'd last seen each other, and honestly, he was ecstatic to see her. Three months and a half felt like too long. "How are ya?"

Bella smiled brightly, glad to see the younger Cullen.

"I'm doing well, and you? What are you doing in this side of the city?" Bella asked, leaning in for a hug once she'd reached the younger boy. He returned the hug, and Bella realized he seemed to have grown an inch.

"Well, I've taken all the pictures imaginable by the house, so I thought I'd drive a little further. And I'm doing well," Seth gave her a crooked smile that reminded her too much of Edward's, then slipped. "Mom and dad… they miss you."

"Do they?" Bella asked, glad; she wasn't sure they wouldn't hate her for hurting their baby's heart.

"They really do. So do I. My brother, he… didn't take the breakup too well. You know, he's better now, but he really misses you." Seth sighed, hanging his head. "Sorry if that makes you feel awkward."

Bella reached up and ruffled his hair.

"I miss him too, you know. And I miss your parents, and I miss you."

"Then why… Can't you get back together?" Seth muttered, shuffling his feet. He felt like a little kid next to Bella, even though he towered over her.

"Because I don't know yet if the issues that made us break up are resolved yet. And I also think he might be dating someone new," Bella said, the words feeling like sandpaper on her mouth.

Seth rolled his eyes.

"Lennie? He went on a handful of dates with her —on _her_ insistence— and then said his heart wasn't in it. You know he still loves you, Bell."

"You don't know that," Bella said, even as her heart soared. So, that was just an act last week; that made her feel better. "Who told you?" She doubted Edward had been so forthcoming on his love life with his family.

"Jake. Well, he told my mom, and mom told me," Seth explained, which certainly seemed plausible. "My brother never seemed to grasp that Jake is more my mom's best friend than his."

Bella laughed; it was true.

"But really Bella, he still loves you. Hold on," Seth said, and whipped out his phone. He told her to give her a moment, looked something up and then shoved it in her hand. "Look, I never got around to sending this to you, but here it is, even if a little later."

It was an album made up of pictures of Edward and Bella at Riley Biers' wedding. It started with them on the dance floor, some of Edward brooding as he watched Bella dance with someone else, a few of Bella coaxing Edward to dance just one more song. Then she got to the pictures that Seth took when they'd been hiding out back, and she couldn't help but cry. The little sneak had been hiding more time than he'd let on, almost their whole interaction. So he'd managed to capture a lot —even though it'd been well into the night, Edward and Bella had been in a well-illuminated spot, which had allowed for pictures without flash (thereby not giving himself away). He'd captured all the moments; them hugging each other, Edward whispering in Bella's ear sweet nothings, their kiss. It was so beautiful that, before Bella gave the phone back, she sent the whole album to herself.

Sniffling, she gave it to Seth.

"Those pictures are beautiful, Seth," Bella mumbled, using the back of her hand to wipe away the tears. "I love them. I really do, you're a brilliant photographer."

Seth blushed and thanked her for the compliment, but that wasn't the point.

"Bella, you two are just beating around the bush. You see the love in that picture as clearly as I do, right? You two, even during New Years couldn't keep your eyes off each other. Jake said that things had been going downhill for a few months already, but you know as well as I do that neither of you loves each other any less. The two of you just didn't try hard enough to work through your problems, whatever the reason might've been. Won't you give each other a chance? Was the problem so insurmountable?"

And she was forced to listen to the words of a snotty seventeen-year-old, knowing that he spoke the truth and that maybe, just maybe, she _could_ work through shit with Edward. That they'd broken up because of his untreated anxiety, and that her depression had made her unwilling to work through what she might've once tackled head on, and that if last week was of any indication he was just as over her as she was over him.

Hope fluttered in her chest.

"What do you say? Give me a ride to your brother's?"

-.-

 _Dong-dong._

"Coming!"

 _Ding-dong. Ding-dong._

"I said—" Edward began to reply irately to whoever was insistently ringing the doorbell, but his words died in his mouth when he realized it was one Bella Swan.

She looked a little winded, like her own thoughts had made her dizzy. She was wearing a flowery pink dress, and her hair was pinned up the way he liked it. She looked like she'd been somewhere important, while he… was still in his pajamas.

"Bella?" he managed to get out, and smiling nervously, Bella nodded.

"Hi, Edward. May… May I come in?"

There was a beat, and then he was ushering his ex-girlfriend inside his apartment. The night was chilly, and the dress didn't even have any sleeves; she'd never dealt well with the cold.

"Want some hot chocolate?" Edward offered, knowing that even though Bella drank coffee without problem she didn't like it that much. She nodded eagerly. "There's a sweater hanging on the couch, if you want it."

Did she want to wear her ex's clothes?

Fuck yes.

While Edward prepared her drink, she went over to the living room and found said sweater. It was huge on her, as always, and it smelled just like her favorite boy. She decided to wait on the couch, needing a few more minutes to figure out how to get out what she wanted to say.

The hot chocolate was done in no time, and Edward slowly carried two cups and set one in front of Bella. He sat on the same couch but on the other end, sipped from his mug.

"What brings you here, Bella?" Edward asked gently, taking in his ex. Here, he felt at liberty to stare as much as he wanted, even when it might not have been the wisest course of action. If he'd had the ability to paint or draw, he would've littered his apartment with portraits of her.

"I, um…" Bella cleared her throat, reaching down for her cup, careful not to burn herself. "I just wanted to know how you were doing."

His brows furrowed.

"You come visit me for the first time in three months to… Know how I'm doing?" Edward asked, genuinely confused. Biting down on her bottom lip, Bella shook her head no. Her heart stuttered in her chest.

Edward was apprehensive, feeling dread curl around his heart. Bella hadn't usually worn dresses unless he'd asked, so seeing her like that made him wonder if maybe she'd been on a date with someone she liked. He'd heard a few weeks back about Bella going on a date with some jock, and that had made him say yes to going on a date with Lennie; he'd been burning with jealousy and had needed something to put his mind off of it. He hadn't learnt anything else about the date, but he'd found out who the guy was —some guy called Josh who looked nothing like him. Maybe things had progressed? Maybe Bella was here to say she wanted her things back, as a symbol of her finally being done with him for good? His heart ached, and Bella hadn't even said a word.

"Bella," Edward called, reminding her that she needed to say something.

"Sorry, I'm just a little nervous. This is hard for me to say, and I don't know how to begin," Bella said nervously, and when she looked up and to the front, she had an idea. "Do you think you could… Play a song for me? On the piano. I never did get to hear you."

He always ended up escaping from having to do it, much to her frustration. Now though, Edward simply gave her a calculating look before heading to the piano. He didn't know if this was his last time alone with Bella, and he would do anything she asked of him.

So he sat down, placed his hands in the appropriate keys and started playing.

Bella would've pointed out it wasn't a song she recognized but, then again, she knew very little about classical music. All she knew was that Edward poured his heart out into the song, which seemed haunting and frantic and exciting, and at some point she started crying even though she didn't know why. When he ended, he walked back to the couch, where Bella faced him.

"What's that song called?"

Edward looked down.

"Bella's Lullaby," he whispered, making her heart stutter once more.

"You _wrote_ that? For… _me_?" Bella asked, shocked. When he nodded, she scooted closer to him and placed a hand on his knee. "Edward, look at me," she pleaded, and when he did, she gave him a wobbly smile. "You're so talented. Thank you."

He smiled back, a small knot undoing in his throat as he put a hand on top of hers. She was warm like always, and her hand felt impossibly smaller.

She swallowed hard, decided to just ask.

"Edward, how are you doing with… with therapy? _Really_?"

She waited with bated breath as he took a shuddering breath and answered.

"A lot better, truly. I'm kind of angry with myself that I was so reluctant to go back even though it does me so much good. I even started properly going to the sessions to talk instead of just working through things with my piano."

Bella sighed in relief. She was so glad. She squeezed his hand.

"I went to the psychiatrist like you wanted me to. I was… diagnosed with minor depression. I've been on meds and going to the psychologist, too. I'm honestly so much better than ever." Bella gave him a smile that lodged itself in his heart.

He was glad, too. Her happiness was everything to him.

"I'm sorry I couldn't see it," Edward said, the only thing that came to mind to say. Guilt started crawling over him. "I wish I could've helped you."

"You did, so much. Don't doubt that. This has been with me for a while, and before you it was probably major depression. You helped me with what you could, but some things just can't be cured by anyone but yourself. I… I've talked through a lot of things with Monica, my therapist. Can I tell you a little about them?"

Edward nodded, and so she did.

She told Edward what she should've (if she's been able to) before breaking up with him. That she was tired most days, that increasingly she was sad for a reason she didn't know. That she'd told herself it was the situation with him, but really that he'd had nothing to do with it; that maybe him having issues he couldn't resolve brought hers to light. She told him she started feeling guilty about his anxiety, responsible, and that she hasn't realized she tended to assume guilt over things she'd had no control over, like Lauren's meanness. It was a long time coming, Bella told him, and neither of them noticed because she was always doing her best to make those feelings go away. She said sometimes we're in denial and can't see want seems so obvious looking back. She'd felt useless to him, Bella confessed, like if she couldn't pull him out of his funk it must've meant that he didn't care about her anymore.

At this, Edward gaped.

"Bella Swan, you out of anyone know best that some things it doesn't matter how much we're worried over we need to change at our own pace. Me being unable to get my head out of my ass _never_ had anything to do with you."

Bella gave him a tired smile.

"I know that now, but I wasn't sure then. I guess that, somewhere along the way, I stopped trying to figure things out together."

Edward gave a heavy sigh, tired as well of the deep subject. He glanced up at her, saw she was fiddling with her skirt. Another question popped into his head.

"What brought all of this on?" He asked, willing his heart not to run away from him with hope. "I mean, I'm glad you're telling me, but why now?"

Bella but down hard on her bottom lip.

"I ran into Seth. He..." Edward paled, not knowing how much his blabbermouth of a brother had spilled. "He showed me the photos he took of us at Riley's wedding. I hadn't seen them."

Edward blinked.

"Hadn't you? I wanted to send them to you, but Seth had told me he wanted to be the one to do it. What... did you think about them?"

Blinking back tears, Bella polished off the last of her hot chocolate and put the cup down. Determined, she scooted closer to Edward and turned to face him.

"I realized I never told you all that I loved about you. And _that_ made me feel like a fool." Bella admitted, feeling only slightly less foolish about having to admit all her faults.

Edward swallowed hard, and he turned away to look at his piano.

"Tell me."

Lips wobbling, she did.

"I love how you think I'm more beautiful than Lilly Collins even though she's my girl crush. How you never push me to be more sociable in the mornings or ask me if I'm in a bad mood since you know _asking_ is only going to put me in one. How you keep your house stoked with Diet Coke even though you defy reason by preferring Pepsi. How green your eyes are, and how you always wear inoffensively hilarious t-shirts no matter who makes fun of you for it. How you've never once made a comment generalizing about women. I love how you put your family above anyone and never pretend otherwise; how you protect me even when I think I don't need it. How you don't take advantage of me when I'm drunk, which made me unconditionally trust you. How you always pretend I don't snore even though we both know I'm worse than a guy with sleep apnea if my allergies are acting up. How you take my words to heart. How gifted you are in architecture. How you always think twice before saying something hurtful. I love how much you loved me," Bella confessed in a whisper, as though it was a secret neither had been privy to.

She swallowed hard, wanting to get one more thing across.

"When I first started liking you… It all started with you lending me out the books from your library. It made me excited every time you gave me a new one. I started looking forward to your lunch breaks, and then I started dreading when it was time for you to leave. I remember one time you came in with your contact lenses, that time your glasses broke, and I was suddenly so aware of how _green_ your eyes are. That was it for me; there was a moment where it suddenly clicked that you were the most interesting, smartest, funniest and most handsome guy I'd ever met. My heart… it never stopped jumping at the sight of you, you know. I used to think Emmett was the most attractive guy I'd ever meet, but after that time I was sure that wasn't true. You're everything I want, both mentally and physically."

She licked her lips, hoping against hope that he'd finally turn and look her in the eyes. Still no luck.

"You're the best thing to have ever happened to me, Edward Cullen. I'm sorry that I got scared and ran away. But I… I still love you with everything I am, to the point where it hurts." She felt her voice shake, but she wanted to get out the most important thing. There was only one bit missing. "I'm here to tell you I still love you so much I feel a hole in my stomach every day when I think I can't at least hear your voice. I love you so much that when I thought you were dating Lennie I nearly got run over because I couldn't even see where I was going. You're the only boy I've ever loved and I can't bear to think of ever loving another one. Can... Can you forgive me?"

 _Will you take me back?_

Surprising her, Edward started crying. He'd only ever cried seriously (he was a crybaby when it came to stupid things, like commercials) that one time at Riley's wedding in their whole relationship, and it had been the happy type of tears; now, his shoulders shook, and he had to take off his glasses because of how foggy they were. Not knowing what this meant, but unable to take it anymore, Bella approached cautiously and laid a hand on his shoulder. He shifted, and then she wasn't seated anymore but on his lap, feeling like a teddy bear more than a person. He had her in his lap, face buried in her chest, arms around her waist in a vice grip and crying like his life depended on it.

Bella didn't know what he was crying about —if it was because of her declaration of love, or her pitiful plead to be taken back, or because of how much she'd made him suffer. Maybe it was all three options. Still, she cried along silently, running her hands through his now-silky hair over and over again.

Neither knew how long they were in that position for, and Bella didn't care that her dress probably could've passed for a shade darker than it was. When someone finally spoke, it was Edward in a raspy voice.

"I thought you'd tell me you'd found someone else. I heard you went on a date with the captain of the basketball team."

Bella hummed.

"Huh, so he was from the basketball team. I went on one date with him, and then I tapped out. I'm not into jocks."

"I'm a jock."

"I'm into _you_ , that's different."

Not to mention, track-and-field was something Bella was unsure classified him as a jock, but whatever. Her statement was true.

He held onto her even tighter.

"I really hadn't expected you to call things off. I was really shocked. I'm even more shocked now to hear you want me back."

Bella kept running her fingers through his hair, even though he'd turned his head sideways so he could talk.

"Should I have brought my boom box? Made this more romantic?"

Edward chuckled.

"You telling me I'm more handsome than Emmett is plenty romantic."

Bella's smile faded.

"Do you think… I'm a terrible person? For changing my mind. It sounds so foolish even to me, that I broke up with you and three months later I'm back begging you to take me back. Most people wouldn't have."

Edward squeezed her harder.

"I'm not most people, I'm the person who knows you and loves you most. And you're not terrible, love, you could never be. You held on as long as you could, and you were looking out for both of us. That, if nothing else, forced me back on my feet and you to face yourself. People break up and get back together all the time, baby. There's no rule saying once you break up you can never get back together."

"Taylor Swift did."

Edward chuckled.

"Your one flaw is liking that woman."

Bella giggled.

"I also like your favorite bands, so don't complain." Edward was an avid Bastille and Jukebox the Ghost fan; neither was Britney Spears-level famous, but the fanbase was solid. Still, if Edward was a snob about anything, it was about music.

They broke apart enough for Edward to look up and make eye contact with the woman who, he was sure, was the love of his life.

"I was ready to do a whole makeover thing for you, you know. To get you back. I figured maybe if you'd thought I was a little cooler you would have me again."

Bella ran a hand through Edward's hair.

"If there had been anything I didn't like, I'd have told you from day one. You know I'm not one to beat around the bush. To me, you're absolutely perfect. I love your shirts, and your glasses, and how your hair needs a weekly tub of gel to stay down. If you choose to keep this hairstyle, I'm all for it; my hands will appreciate staying dry a little longer. But ultimately, it's all about how you feel. If you feel more confident one way or another, do it. If you think a new wardrobe, hair and glasses will make a difference, I'll support you all the way through. All I want is for you to love yourself the way I do."

Edward saw it in her eyes, how much she meant it. She still looked at him like he was precious, and that was all he truly wanted from her.

"I love you more than I've ever loved anyone in my life, Isabella Swan. I was fine by myself these last three months, complete. But you make me feel like I'm more than I am. Like I must be the best person around if you love me half as much as I love you. I can only describe it as constantly feeling like you're forgetting something, and that you know you'll be happy once you remember, but you just can't get there." He pushed the hair out of her eyes, loving as always. "Loving you is to remember, I guess."

Bella tried not to sob.

"You're so cheesy," she blubbered. "I can't believe you said that. And I can't believe how much I'm falling for it."

Edward grinned, feeling the last few tears leak out.

"Want me to say something real corny?"

Bella shook her head.

"Once a day only, or I'll get diabetes. Just kiss me already you Casanova."

Laughing, Edward did. He grabbed his girlfriend by the cheeks and brought her closer to him, and slowly, like he was afraid he'd forgotten how to do it, he let his lips press against Bella's.

Her breath smelled like chocolate, and he was sure his did too.

"You should always eat chocolate before kissing me," Bella muttered, smiling against him, and then deepened the kiss.

Noted, he wanted to say, but found himself unable to.

* * *

"You're _what_?"

"I'm pregnant, and I'm keeping the baby," Emmett said proudly, then coughed. "I mean, Rosie is. _We're_ keeping it."

Edward gaped.

A lot had happened in the time he'd broken up with Bella, it seemed. He hadn't seen Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper or even Garrett in the last three months, feeling they were all more Bella's friends than his. Evidently, he'd missed a lot in the lives of his friends. He was only grateful he had a second chance at being involved.

Once Bella and Edward had formally reconciled, they both informed their friends (minus Jake, the blabbermouth) almost immediately. Everyone was overjoyed at the information, knowing how much the couple had struggled, and Emmett had been quick to request an audience (his words) with the reestablished couple. They'd met up two days later in Chompie's over breakfast, joined by Jasper.

"I can't believe this, dude. Seriously?" Edward coughed, gulping down some water to calm himself.

"Yup. I mean, we're all ecstatic. Best part is Rosie'll be able to graduate, so even if this is a little soon, she'll finish the year with a degree _and_ a little bundle of joy." Emmett beamed, not caring one bit about Jasper and Edward's surprise.

 _Oh my God_ , Jasper thought to himself. _It's started. The whole 'I've got friends in college with kids and friends who can't afford a cup of coffee' time of my life._

It was not a pleasant thought.

"So, I know this is a little early, but we wanted to do this as soon as we could. I wanted to ask Jasper if he could be our baby's godfather…" Rose grinned, the absolute happiest Jasper had ever seen his cousin.

"And if Bell could be the godmother. It would mean the world to us."

Bella wasn't surprised, but she had a question.

"But I'm not Catholic. Can I even be?"

Emmett grinned sheepishly; Debbie Downer never missed a chance.

"Not recognized by the Church, but legally and emotionally yes. Rose and I… we'd trust no other people more to take care of our little person should anything happen to us. We'd be eternally grateful if you two agreed to take on this role."

Jasper and Bella looked at each other, neither doubting for a second that they'd say yes.

"It would be my honor," Jasper drawled, overcome with love for his cousin and the unborn child. He didn't have any siblings, but Rose was the closest he had to one.

"Nothing would make me happier," Bella swore, letting her own tears leak out. Damn, she loved that big stupid oaf more than she loved her parents on some days. She couldn't wait to be an aunt (albeit not related by blood) and spoil his children rotten.

Edward squeezed her hand lovingly, letting her know quietly it was ok if she cried. Not that she didn't know this; she had a hard time crying, but once she did, she went at it hard. So far, the only times he remembered her crying was when she'd fought with Emmett, when she told him about Charlie, at the wedding (which had been happy tears), and during their reunion. Him, on the other hand, cried even when he thought something was just passably sad; once or twice Bella had caught him crying during commercials, which had been mortifying. It didn't surprise him about Bella, though; he thought that it somehow fit her cool persona if she didn't cry often, and at the same time, she was never any less cool if she did. He knew _he_ was less cool, though; he was an ugly crier, and Seth was always quick to point this out. Younger siblings did wonders for for your self-esteem.

Alright, so he was whipped, but could anybody blame him?

He had the most awesome girlfriend ever.

He'd been a fool to let her go without a fight, and this was a mistake he'd never repeat.

"I'm glad," Emmett sighed in relief, giving his best friend a broad smile.

"Did you actually think I could ever say no?" Bella asked in disbelief, gauging him. Emmett shrugged sheepishly.

"I was 98% sure you'd say yes, but I was 2% unsure if you'd say no based on not wanting to partake in any religious activity."

Bella scoffed.

"Emmett, I'd convert to Pastafari if it meant I could be involved in your kid's life in any way. I'm an extremely clingy person," Bella said, and this time Edward gave her disbelieving eyes. Emmett and Rose stifled their laughter. "What?"

"Baby, I love you, but I nearly have to beg you to snuggle with me. Last time I went away on that class thing to the East coast for a week? You didn't send a _single_ text, I had to call you to make sure you knew I was coming back."

"I didn't want to interfere with your activities!" Bella cried in outrage, and Edward smiled smugly, point proven.

"Face it babe. _I'm_ the clingy one in this relationship."

Rose gave him a quizzical look.

"You sure that's a good thing to be?" She asked, faintly amused by how the couple argued and what they disagreed about. Last time she and Emmett fought, it was about the toothpaste in the sink, and she'd nearly thrown a toothbrush at him in her fury while he'd nearly thrown out her hairbrush in retaliation. Rose honestly couldn't think of a single time she'd seen Edward angry despite knowing him for nearly four years, and Bella had only gotten angry that fateful day that changed their friendship. She was the type that was quick to annoy, but slow to anger.

"Well, it's what we are," Edward shrugged, swinging an arm to lay it across Bella's shoulders. He laid a kiss on her temple, melting her frown. "And how boring would it be if we were both the same?"

Appeased, Bella changed the subject, and they spent the rest of breakfast talking about Emmett and Rose's plans for the future.

* * *

"I'm singing in the rain, just singing in the rain!" Bella was singing. It was a Friday, and thankfully she and Edward had a light day. She was making dinner while he set the table —in all their years together, he hadn't gotten better at cooking, so Bella usually took up the job. He was, however, a master dessert maker, so he was always in charge of anything that had to do with confectionery.

"But it's not raining, love," Edward pointed out, laughing at how off-pitch his girlfriend sang. He was charmed as always, but even he could tell Bella was not musically gifted.

"Sing something for me. Dinner's nearly done, but I need something to motivate me to finish."

Edward thought about it.

"Alright, but you need to let me hug you while I sing," Edward negotiated, and feigning exasperation, Bella agreed.

"But only because you're so freaking hot," Bella said, making Edward laugh and approach her. He snuck his arms around her and plastered himself to her back, chuckling when she moved back and stepped on his feet.

He cleared his throat.

"I wanna be your lover, I wanna be your friend. I wish I could tell you I'd last till the end. I'm in a blue haze… a blue haze."

Edward sang his heart out, recalling the song he'd been obsessed over for the last month. It was a great song, and the beat really called out to him. The band wasn't well known by any means, but he loved it.

When he was done, so was dinner.

"Who's it from?"

"You won't know them. Amber Run, they're called. But it's a nice song, isn't it?"

Bella huffed.

"When I asked you to sing for me, I meant something more along the lines of the Jonas Brothers or something. But I guess that was fine." Bella laughed when Edward crushed her in a hug and lifted her, then took her to the kitchen island. He deposited her in a chair, then grabbed the food and brought it in.

"I swear, even if they ever get back together, I'm never ever singing any of their songs. Ever."

Bella sighed sadly.

"I was gonna tell you I'd marry you if they ever did and that we'd use one of their songs for our wedding, but since you're so against all this, you and I will have to live in sin forever."

Edward glared at her.

"Are you trying to emotionally manipulate me?"

Bella batted her eyelashes.

"Is it working?"

Edward groaned.

"Don't even think about it," he warned, handing her the salad. "Also, I was thinking…"

"Uh oh."

He pressed his lips in a flat line, resisting the urge to laugh at how proud Bella looked of herself.

"I was _thinking_ that maybe you and I should go say hi to our parents tomorrow."

Bella flinched.

"Do we? I mean, your parents probably hate me, don't they? And mom is gonna make such a huge fuss about us being back together. She cried a lot, you know."

Edward shrugged.

"Well, so did we. Look, I don't want to stretch this anymore when we've been back together for two weeks already. You know all they want is for us to be happy, and if my parents went crazy and said something mean, you know I'd stick up for you, right?"

Bella sighed.

"Yeah, I know. I guess that it just makes me feel nervous."

He stood from his chair and went over next to Bella; he tilted her head up and bent to lay a kiss on her.

"I'm nervous too, but I want our parents to know we're happy. Right?"

Then he kissed her again, and Bella's heart couldn't keep up. Truth was, they hadn't had sex yet, and she felt a little like a born-again virgin. Even just this had her heart racing to keep up.

So when Edward pulled away, all she could do was sigh dreamily.

"Right."

* * *

 **Oh wow, this was another heavy one, wasn't it? Sorry it took me a little longer, but I did warn y'all, didn't I? I'm actually cutting into my study time right now to post this, but I felt you'd all suffered long enough. So sorry it was a little shorter, but what's coming next will take me a little longer. I think perhaps there's two chapters left to this story -I never planned to make this one long, so if anything, I've kind of gone beyond my original plan (which was like four chapters). As always, thank you so much for your sweet reviews. They always make my day.**

 **Leah.**

 **P.S. ALSO DID YOU SEE THE JONAS BROTHERS (the original JB by the way) ARE BACK TOGETHER?! DID YOU SEE THEIR NEW SONG? Honestly, I never liked any boy bands as a kid, only the Jonas Brothers. I still regret giving away one of their posters. I never had a preference over one brother or the other, either, which is odd. I probably used up all the fangirl in me for Twilight, and even that's not saying a lot; my level of fangirl has always been 'writes FFN and calls it a day'. Also, I've never written fanfic about real people; if I had to say, I find it a little weird, but hey, maybe that's just me. So my level of love for the JB was 'buy their CD and a poster'. Wow, remember those? Lol, kidding. But yeah, I'm still over the moon. So for their next concert, expect to see a twenty-something girl who is very excited but also very chill.**


	8. Oh How The Tables Have Turned

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

* * *

"I feel like I have an ulcer on the way."

"That's just the drama queen inside of you threatening to claw out."

"Edward!"

Edward groaned, making a turn.

"Love, you've been feeling an ulcer on the way since yesterday, but you wouldn't buy anything for the pain. My parents don't bite, you know this."

Bella kept up her whining though, unwilling to admit defeat.

"But _Edward_ ," Bella complained, sticking out her lower lip and batting her eyelashes at a boyfriend who would never look at her instead of the road. As he should; he drove like a maniac. "I broke their baby boy's heart. Even if you've forgiven me, a mother never does."

That was a _fact_ , Bella was sure of it.

Edward thought his girlfriend was underestimating the extent of how much his parents loved her, but he'd told her this during the first hour of her freakout. There was no use in talking to a wall, and _that_ Bella most definitely was at the moment.

"Bella, my parents also broke up when they were dating. Five times, for that matter. I doubt either of them will think much about this."

Seemed unlikely, but ok.

"Alright, look," Edward put his directional on and pulled up to the side of the road, then turned off the car. He shifted in his seat so he was facing his girlfriend, noticing for the first time just how pale she was. "Bella? Baby, breathe. Everything's ok. I promise you, nobody will say anything to hurt you."

Bella exhaled just a little bit.

"You can't know that."

"I can. I'd never hurt you intentionally, and it's not like I'm just this person out of nowhere. My parents made me who I am. Now, I can't promise you that everything will be like it was before, and I also can't promise you what my reaction will be if they don't play nice. However…" Edward sighed, leaning over and folding Bella's hands in his. He squeezed. "They're my family, and they mean absolutely everything to me. Outside of them, you're the person I love most. So please, for me, can you remember this? That you're everything to me, but so are they."

Bella looked down at his hands, so big and warm.

She wanted to cry in frustration, but she held back.

"I… Only feel that way about Emmett. I mean, I love my mom and Phil, but they've always seemed to be more interested in each other than in me. And I love my dad, despite everything, but I've already grown too distant from him. So even though I understand what you're saying, and would never change a thing, I can't help but feel a little hurt. Like you're telling me you wouldn't stand by me in a fight. And even though I know that's the way things ought to be, that this is just another reason why I love you… I can't help it. It burns thinking that I'm not anyone's… number one."

Edward frowned, mad at himself for the way he phrased things as well as hurting for Bella. He'd always felt the way in which Bella was a little clueless when it came to feelings, and he knew her parents were a big reason why.

"Love, I'm sorry. That's not what…" Edward sighed once more. "Bell. I love you more than I ever thought I could love someone; I'm _always_ in your corner. But I'm also not the kind of person, nor are you, that would push our loved ones aside for each other. What I meant is, even if I can't promise you an angry tirade or a threat to never speak to them again, I can promise to stick up for you. Even if it's not a movie-worthy moment, I'll back you up."

Bella stuck her lip out.

"You're too good at calming me down." She looked up at him and gave him her best puppy dog eyes. "Kiss me?"

Edward laughed, but he leaned in and sucked in her bottom lip. He swiped his tongue across it, asking for entrance, and Bella gave it. She made a noise in the back of her throat, and he knew it wasn't the sexy kind; instead, she suddenly forced her way into his mouth, her tongue feeling a lot more like it was seeking something out than it was trying to just kiss.

"Bella?"

She was sucking on his tongue, and a second later she'd pulled back with a scowl on her face.

"You ate my chocolate, didn't you? The one I told you not to touch?"

Shit, he ate it on his way out.

Whistling, Edward turned on the car.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Outraged, Bella started smacking his arm.

"You did! You owe me three of the same chocolates! Oh, I'm telling Esme about this, you'll see. How dare you…"

The rest of the short ride was devoted to Bella grilling Edward on the details on when, were, how, why he'd eaten her Cadburry. He was quite tight-lipped too, which only riled up Bella more. Even though she was glad for the distraction, she was actually genuinely upset at the thought that Edward had eaten her chocolate… which was unfair, given that she was always eating his food and he never said anything about it. But then again, she never claimed to be rational when it came to snacks.

When they arrived and Edward had parked in the driveway, Bella turned to him with a pout.

"You're actually upset with me aren't you," Edward asked rhetorically, and her pout intensified. She even had her arms crossed over her chest. "On our way back I'll buy you more, ok?"

Bella gave him one of her breath stealing smiles.

"Ok!"

He got out of the car and went to Bella's side to open her door, tugging her into his arms once she was out.

"You drive me crazy sometimes, you know? And the worst part is I love it because there's never a dull moment with you."

Bella felt her heart stutter in her chest.

"You know, I'm really happy that you're my first and only boyfriend. You keep raising the bar higher and higher, and I'm not sure anyone could ever measure up."

Smugly, Edward kissed the top of her head.

Bella didn't know this, but he was making sure she stuck around this time for good. He knew what he had in her, and he couldn't afford to let her go. If this meant spending the rest of his life buying chocolates for his glutton of a girlfriend, he would gladly do so. It had been exhausting, keeping up a front the first few months of dating Kate; with Bella, he'd always been himself. The fact that she was an unproblematic person had made things for him that much easier, thankfully; it wasn't that she was low-maintenance, because _every_ relationship required a high degree of effort. It was just that… she made the effort smooth and doable. Even though they'd both had to change themselves to fit each other better, this didn't mean they'd made unsustainable changes. They'd each modified themselves however they were able to (for their own benefit) and had basically told the other to take it or leave it.

Obviously, they'd both taken it.

"I'm low-key conditioning you to be unable to live without me." Edward joked, planting another kiss on her head.

"That's mean," Bella countered. "And selfish."

He chuckled.

"It's fair, because I already can't live without you," he said. "But for real, if anything should happen to me—"

"No, Edward, you _know_ I hate that kind of talk!"

"Listen to me baby, it's important I swear. If anything should happen to me, I want you to be happy. I want you to carry a piece of me in your heart, and I don't want you to forget you ever loved me, but I also want you to _live_. You're not the type of person who lives for love, so I don't want you to die for it either. You have, and always will have, so much going on in your life that I can't fathom a world where you lose your spark. It's what I love most about you, after your butt. I know this is what I want because when we broke up and you told me how your life was going, I was genuinely happy to know you were doing well, and it'd break my heart if you felt like you couldn't go on without me. That's the only thing I want for you; I don't want someone who can't function without me, I want someone who finds strength in me but is strong by themselves. Just like you."

Bella sniffled.

"I'm not crying but just because I don't want to smudge my makeup."

"It's ok, I'm already crying for both of us." Edward laughed, wiping away the tear that had slipped.

"But thank you. I want the same for you, and I was also happy you were doing well… And we both know what I love most about you is your kindness, after _your_ butt."

Indeed, they were both butt people.

"Now, let's head inside love. Mom said she made hotpot, and that's her specialty." Edward said, and feeling his stomach start to growl in hunger, he released his girlfriend. Even though she still looked nervous, she looked a lot more willing to go in now. Whether it was because of his words or the promise of hotpot, he did not know. He didn't ask, either; he wanted to believe what made him happy, and her answer would not necessarily be the one he wanted.

In either case, Edward clasped Bella's hand firmly and together they went into the Cullen household.

"He- _llo_? Is anybody home?" Edward sang, swinging their arms back and forth.

"In the kitchen baby!" Esme called, and feeling her heart sink painfully, Bella slowly followed her boyfriend into the kitchen.

Carlisle, Esme and Seth were all gathered around the kitchen island with much too innocent faces.

"What's going on guys?" Edward asked wearily.

Seth, who was on his phone feigning disinterest, answered.

"Mom and dad heard you arrive so they were peaking out the window."

Esme pinched her son beneath the ribs, and Carlisle pretended to look elsewhere.

"Ow! Mom!"

"Blabbermouth," Esme muttered, nonetheless rounding the kitchen island to stand in front of Edward and Bella.

Esme, in all her goddess like beauty, fixed her gaze on the smaller girl.

Bella felt like she had a dinosaur threatening to claw out of her throat, but she stood her ground.

"Edward told me you were nervous to come. As a mother, it's hard watching your baby hurt, and I was terrified to think someone held so much of my son's heart. But as a person who's in a relationship herself, I know that sometimes breakups are necessary and there's no easy way to do it. Not to mention, you were the wake-up call he needed to get back on track. In other words sweetheart, you'll always have a spot in this family if you want one."

Bella crushed Esme in a hug, nearly crying. All the words that Edward had given her had been nice, but ultimately she'd needed the reassurance to come from his parents themselves. Hearing Esme not call her names and welcome her back with open arms had been the reprieve her soul needed.

"Edward, can I have your mom?"

He smirked.

"Sure you can, but not yet," he said, and the meaning was lost in Bella… but not in his family. They all gaped at him as if to say 'Did you really just say that?', and he only shrugged smugly. Oh yeah, he'd started planning their wedding already.

No way was this woman slipping through his fingers again.

Seth laughed.

"Oh Bella, we've missed you."

-.-

"And this is my room," Edward said, making Bella shake her head in disbelief.

"I can't believe it took me over two years to go up to the second floor. I feel like you were hiding it from me," Bella teased, stepping into his bedroom. "I'm also kind of impressed your mom didn't decide to make your room into a gym or something."

"Dad tried proposing to make my room into a second wine cellar or something and mom nearly ripped apart his library. She said, and I quote, that I should always have a room to come back to."

Bella smiled; that was sweet. She didn't hold the same expectations of Renée, given her mother's hoarding history. One of these days she'd decide to use her room as a fourth storage room and she'd be unable to stop her. Not that Bella minded too much; the tree house had always felt much more _hers_ than those four walls. Ironic, given that she shared it with Emmett.

"That's sweet of your mom," Bella echoed her thoughts, assessing the room.

There really wasn't much to it. It was filled with track medals, which was something she'd expected already given how freaking _fast_ he was. The walls were painted a deep blue, but it had splashes here and there of a lighter blue; it was a nice touch, she thought. There were framed pictures everywhere, too —mostly of his parents and brother, two with Jake, another with his college friends and two more with his childhood friend (Marcus, whom she'd never met given that he'd gone to a different school and moved to France in eighth grade). There was one from college where Emmett, Rose, Edward, Jasper and Bella were all in Chompie's celebrating the end of the first semester with a monster pie. Much to her surprise, there was one of the two of them: the picture Seth had taken at the wedding. More specifically the one where they were hugging; you could see both of their faces since Edward had been lying his cheek on her head facing his left, and Bella had her arms wrapped around him with her face turned to her right. Their eyes were closed, but you could see the glaring smiles on their faces.

Touched, Bella looked up to see her boyfriend had a blush on his face.

"When did you put this one up?"

He was picking at a non-existent threat in his shirt.

"Edward…"

"Um, like in… January?"

Bella's eyebrows shot up.

"Really?"

"… of last year." Edward ended sheepishly. "I mean, Seth took a while sending me the pictures, but I put it up as soon as he had. I never followed up on whether or not he'd sent them to you, so…"

Bella picked up the frame, tracing their silhouettes.

"Did you put it away when we broke up?" Bella asked softly, her eyes focusing solely on the picture.

"I didn't. I had one or two with Kate, and I put those away immediately. I'd been kind of angry and confused with Kate, but with you… I felt heartbroken, but I also kind of suspected that we'd get back together, if that makes sense."

Bella laughed.

"You knew, huh?" Bella held the picture against her chest, looking up to smile teasingly at her boyfriend. "You know, if it hadn't been for Seth, I wouldn't be here right now."

Edward huffed.

"You're giving him too much credit."

Bella shook her head in disagreement.

"He convinced me that you and I could work things out. Also, he spilled that you still loved me," Bella winked at him.

Edward frowned.

"How…?" His lips flattened in displeasure. "Jake."

She giggled.

"Don't blame him too much. If it wasn't for his big mouth, I might've never gathered up the courage to go see you." This was true, so Bella was really grateful for the teenager. "Not to mention that if I hadn't seen this picture, I might not have believed it."

Edward humphed.

Still feeling like teasing him, she placed the picture back where it belonged and lied down like a starfish on the bed.

"I can't believe you have a Kirby duvet," Bella snorted, lying smack down in the middle of the pink round creature.

Sheepishly, Edward shrugged.

"Mom bought it for me one day. I didn't care enough to change it."

Bella laughed, not believing him for one second. She knew her boyfriend and he'd never had any qualms about being geeky. She'd seen hidden duvets in his apartment that had Pikachu plastered all over it —she was pretty sure he'd used them before they'd started dating and thought she'd make fun of him for it.

He would have been right, but she also would've fallen even more for him. One of the things she liked most about him was how he was his own person; he dressed how he wanted and did what made him happy. She'd never once heard him say that doing or wearing something was embarrassing. She'd even seen him ask for food from the kids' menu with a straight face.

"C'mere," Bella patted the spot below her right arm, and grinning, Edward decided to fool around. Instead of sitting on the bed, he laid down across Bella's body facing up.

She oomphed.

"You're crushing me," Bella wheezed out; Edward was really not taking off any of his weight from her. She wrapped her arms around him, flailing a bit trying to get him off.

"Am I? I'm pretty light," Edward joked.

"You're not," Bella huffed out. She was about to say more when the door to Edward's room opened abruptly.

"A-ha!" Seth said triumphantly, expecting his brother to be making out with one Bella Swan. He, however, found them in an odd position —the couple was seriously weird.

"Mom!" Seth called out, disillusioned from the dream he had of making things awkward for his brother —he was the little brother, he lived for these things. "Edward's being weird!"

Nonetheless, Seth was never one to back down from upstaging his brother. So he took off his shoes and lied down on top of Edward's stomach perpendicular to the couple.

"Can't… breathe…" Bella doubled down on her wheezing.

"I'm quite comfortable, thank you," Seth hummed, and was about to say something more when his parents walked into the room.

"Oh my God, they're still children," Esme cooed as she snapped a photo of the scene. They were all adorable.

Carlisle laughed, then looked at his son's girlfriend.

"Uh, Edward, you might want to get off. Bella's looking blue," Carlisle said, and quite quickly Edward had shoved Seth off and rolled over so he was lying next to her.

Bella took in a gulp of air, feeling like she'd been flattened by a bulldozer.

"Thanks, Carlisle," she wheezed out, holding her stomach as if to make sure everything was still three-dimensional.

"Any time," Carlisle winked at her, happy to see his house being a place where the kids could be goofy.

"Anyway kids, behave. Carlisle and I have to go with Seth to get fitted for his tux," Esme said, still laughing a little.

"Tux?" Edward asked, frowning. "What for? On a Saturday? And he doesn't graduate until like June right?"

Carlisle gave him a look.

"Your mom wants us to have our tuxes tailor-made. You'd be coming with us too if not because the seamstress only had two appointments available for today of all days. And… you know your mom. She starts packing four months before a two-week trip."

Edward nodded, recalling his own experience. His mom had made him go get his in January.

"Tux? But guys usually don't wear a tux for graduation… right?" Bella asked, confused.

Seth answered, coming up from his spot on the floor.

"It's tradition. Dad got his first tailor-made tux for his graduation, so did Wardo and now it's my turn."

Huh.

That was a cool, if odd, tradition.

"And I need a new one since I've gained a pound or two recently," Carlisle chuckled good-humoredly, and Esme sent him a look that said she wasn't happy about his eating habits.

"Try ten," Esme muttered, shooting her husband a dirty look. She sighed. "Anyways kids, behave. We shouldn't take too long. Are you taking Bella back to her house or to the dorms?"

Edward looked at Bella.

"I should probably spend the night at my house. I haven't seen my mother in like two weeks."

Esme nodded.

"Alright, you should let your mother know you're going. Well, it really was great seeing you again sweetheart," Esme smiled kindly. "We've missed you."

 _Adopt me!_ Bella wanted to shout, but refrained. Just barely.

"I've missed you too. So much," Bella said, trying and failing to sit up. Apparently, she was still deflated.

"Alright then, have fun kids."

Then the Cullen trio left, Esme very pointedly leaving the bedroom door open.

"Did they just… leave us alone? In an empty house?" Bella whispered to Edward. He turned to look at her and wiggled his eyebrows.

"Well, they love you too much to kick you out. Not to mention, after I told dad about Emmett's oopsie he's been suspiciously sending me all these articles about pre-natal care."

Bella snorted.

"We're barely back together and they're already rushing the grandkids, huh?"

Edward rolled his eyes.

"It's dad's unfunny joke about tying you down with a kid. My parents had been on the verge of breaking up for good when they found out I was coming, so they think kids fix everything. I don't think dad gets just how much I wouldn't want to do that to you or myself. Can you even _imagine_ my anxiety then? I'd be wondering all day if you only stayed with me because of a kid. Talk about bad ideas."

Bella realized there was something they'd never talked about.

"Hey, do you want kids?"

Somehow, the subject had never been brought up.

Edward's answer was instant.

"Absolutely. It's honestly one of my biggest dreams apart from architecture ever since I was a kid. I've always seen myself as a parent. How about you?"

Bella replied honestly as always.

"I've never been sure. It scares me to think of myself as a mother; Renée isn't the best mother out there, you know, and my dad fucked up more than a little. So every time I've thought of myself as a mother, I've imagined myself as a combination of the two. It'd make me sad to think I could be that for a child."

Edward got on his side and rested his cheek against his hand. He looked down at his girlfriend, seeing for the first time a little of her worry.

"You know, if that's what worries you, then that's normal. I'm under no illusion that I'd be the perfect father, but… Unless you're a single parent, it's always about teamwork. You shouldn't have to worry about raising a kid on your own or fucking them up by yourself; if it's me by your side, which I hope it is, I would want us to lean on each other. And the other part…" Edward grabbed a strand of her hair and started twirling it around his index finger. "I've met your mother, and you've told me a lot about her; you're not like her. Well, the good parts sure, but you're not flighty like her. And the way you love is totally different."

This brought up another worry.

"Oh no. What if my kid grows up thinking I'm terrible just because I'm bad at showing love? I mean, it's happened with you, why wouldn't it happen with them?"

Edward guffawed.

"Oh my God Isabella, who put _that_ stupid idea in your head? You might not cry a lot, and I might be the clingier of the two, but you're such a loving person it's a tragedy you're not aware of it. Love, not everything in this world is about words or being mushy, even if it's nice. You are _far_ better than me at doing little gestures to show love, and I can't even begin to explain to you how much it means to me that you've always taken care of me when I pull all nighters. I probably wouldn't even be alive if it wasn't for you. You do all these little things that aren't your responsibility, they're just you loving and caring for me. Any kid would be lucky to have such an attentive mother, just as I'm lucky to have you as an amazing girlfriend."

Bella's lip wobbled, but she refrained from crying.

"What if I tell you… I don't want to have children? What would you say then?"

Edward sighed, pained at the hypothetical.

"I'd say I'd have to think about it. It's kind of a very big dream of mine and giving it up wouldn't be easy. It'd be irresponsible of me to just thoughtlessly tell you I wouldn't care if I actually would. Though to be honest, I hadn't thought before about the possibility of you not wanting any, so I'm sorry I can't give you a better answer."

But Bella was satisfied by his reply, even if it wasn't the 'I'll stick with you no matter what' romantic movies would have wanted her to get. Not to mention, she wasn't actually saying she didn't want children; if anything, she was a lot more against marriage than the idea of reproducing.

"No, you're right. We've never talked about this. And I think that it's true, children isn't something you can change someone's mind about selfishly. Having or not having them has huge implications."

Edward smirked.

"Although, I _will_ change your mind about marriage," Edward said, and Bella groaned, having expected his segue.

"Edward… I've told you this before. A piece of paper isn't going to change how I feel about you." Bella sighed, turning to look up at the ceiling. "Not to mention, I'm twenty-two. It's way too early for me to be thinking about marriage. And _we_ just got back together. And I… You know I'm just not thinking of getting married."

Instead of arguing with her, Edward chuckled.

"Love, I'm not telling you we should tie the knot in two weeks. And you know as well as I do that even it it's a piece of paper, it's a very beneficial one. Like, being a citizen instead of a resident. It's just a formality, but having one or the other might mean you can or can't do certain things, right?"

"Like what?" Bella argued, falling right into his trap. He gave her a salacious smirk.

"Like getting to call you my wife if someone starts hitting on you," Edward wiggled his eyebrows, laughing at how adorably annoyed his girlfriend was. "Either way, I wouldn't want to start that journey until we were both financially stable, or at least one of us. Doesn't seem like a great idea for our parents to maintain us during married life."

She turned to look at him with a curious look in her eye.

"You're quite certain you're gonna change my mind, aren't you?"

He switched positions so he was lying on top of her, resting on his elbows in order to not crush her. Looking down at her, he admired the glint in her eye. She was something else entirely.

"Of course I am. But I'll make sure that it's not just marriage you want, but marriage with _me_. And not to brag, but I'm pretty confident I'm the more stubborn of the two."

Bella giggled.

"That's not a position I want to fight you for."

She craned her neck a bit and gave him a quick peck.

"Get off. I want to find your porn mags."

Edward snorted but got off of her, moving to sit on the edge of the bed. He didn't care if she swept through every spot in his room; she'd never find a single porn mag.

Basically, because everything these days was digitalized.

After five minutes of looking through his drawers, Bella straightened her back and turned back to look at her boyfriend with narrowed eyes.

"You don't have any, do you? That's why you're so calm about me searching your stuff."

Sheepishly, he nodded.

"I don't keep it."

With a thoughtful look in her face, Bella walked over casually to his bedroom door and closed it. Then she locked it for good measure, even giving it a shake to check it was well closed. She'd seen too many movies to not be cautious.

"Tell me, boyfriend of mine," Bella cleared her throat. "What do you usually search for on the websites?"

When he understood her question, he got red like a firetruck. Was she really asking…? Oh God.

His girlfriend was crazy.

"Well?" Bella arched an eyebrow when she saw that he hadn't replied.

"Uh…"

 _Tell the truth? A lie? Ah, fuck it. It's Bella._

"I search for…" Edward shut his eyes tight and hoped for the best. "Petite, rough, blow-job and… doggy-style."

Earth should've just swallowed him when he was born. That would've been better.

For a few seconds he heard nothing. His heart was stuttering in his chest when he suddenly felt a hand on his hips, tugging at his shirt.

He opened his eyes cautiously.

"Bella?"

"Come on, I don't want to stretch your shirt."

He clasped her hands in his tightly, stopping her movement.

"Are you sure? We haven't done this in like four months. Are you ok with my childhood bedroom?"

Bella leaned over and placed a soft kiss on his lips.

"I am. I've got a thing for Kirby watching us."

Edward released her hands, letting her take his shirt off. Then he lifted his ass so she should take his jeans and boxers off unceremoniously. He was curious as to what she wanted to do.

Smiling mischievously, Bella tugged off her blue dress. She was wearing a black lace bra and matching panties, something odd in her. Her usual choice of underwear was granny panties and a sports bra. He rather liked this development.

"You like it? Angela took me shopping a couple of weeks back." She pulled off her hair from the ponytail it was in and did a twirl, looking like she could've been a Victoria's Secret model (if they accepted five foot three women).

"I like it so much I think I might marry it if you won't marry me," Edward said dramatically, making Bella give a little laugh and sigh. He was stubborn indeed.

"You haven't even seen the best part yet," Bella said coyly, but instead of telling him, she just sauntered over to him. "Do you love me?"

What a ridiculous question.

"Of course."

Giving him a bright smile, Bella clasped his cheeks and crushed her lips against his. She was standing between his knees, so she had to be careful not to accidentally knee him. Talk about mood-killer.

He was about to deepen the kiss when Bella pulled back, gave him a wink and then dropped to her knees.

"Fuck," he cursed just above a whisper, the sight of her, on her knees and in front of his dick making something inside of him clench. When she licked her lips, he knew he wouldn't last long.

To make matters worse, Bella didn't immediately touch him. No, she started with trailing her fingers up his legs, reaching a few inches below his dick. Then she opened his legs wider and started trailing kisses from his left knee all the way up to his groin, so close and yet so far from where he wanted her. He could feel her hot breath on him, teasing what was to come. When she'd gone through the same painstaking process with his right leg, she switched to instead start sucking on his balls. One hand pumping his dick, the other bracing herself on his thigh, she alternated kissing and sucking. Unable to resist, he placed a hand on the back of her head, his other arm helping him stay upright so he could see her.

"So good," he whispered, unable to resist bucking his hips when Bella touched the tip of his dick. Shit, he needed to come, but he also never wanted her to stop. Just when he'd become comfortable with the slowly increasing pleasure, Bella switched gears again, only this time it was to suddenly suck on the head like it was a lollypop.

Taking him in further, she bobbed her head twice before nearly undoing him —she looked up and locked eyes with him. Her eyes were intent on his, enjoying how his face contorted with pleasure. The sight of her looking at him with half his cock in her mouth was suddenly too much and he came, only able to give her the slightest warning of what was coming.

She swallowed, laid a kiss on his thigh and stood up. He was still half-hard, and when he saw the heated look in her eye, he knew he'd be ready again soon.

Wordlessly, Edward grabbed her by the waist and pulled her closer. He wanted her so badly right now, but not before giving her something.

Sad to see the bra go, Edward made quick work of taking it off. He instantly latched onto a nipple, his left hand going to pinch the other one.

Moaning, Bella dug her fingers through his hair.

Shifting closer, she sat on his knee, rubbing herself against it for some friction. Confused, Edward let go of her breast.

"How…?" His thigh felt too wet, and he could've sworn he could feel her pubic hair even though he'd yet to take off her panties.

Giving him a heated look, Bella released him and made her way to the center of the bed, where she got on all fours. She looked back.

"Doggy-style and rough, right?"

His girlfriend was wearing crotch-less panties.

Crotch. _Less_.

Instantly hard, he launched his face into her pussy. He couldn't _not_ stick his tongue in her.

She was soaking wet, probably the wettest he'd ever seen her. Which he was glad about, since she'd need a lot of lubrication for the fucking he wanted to give her.

Straightening up, he grabbed one ass cheek, using his other hand to guide himself.

"Ready?" Edward breathed out.

"Yes," Bella huffed, needing him inside her to relieve the ache.

Without further warning, Edward slammed himself into her pussy, not even stopping to let her adjust. He was now grabbing both of her ass cheeks so he could piston himself into her deeper and faster, lost in the feeling of Heaven.

She lowered her hips, giving him a different angle, and this one made her lose her breath. He felt her start to convulse around him, and wanting her to come, he let go of her ass to rub at her clit furiously, making her fall over the edge.

Mercilessly, he kept pounding into her. He'd been dreaming of fucking her this way for so long, and he'd somehow been unable to before. He'd never felt it was the right time to ask her to carry out one of his fantasies. So now, he was going to milk it.

Leaning over her, he grabbed a handful of her long hair and pulled, making her back bend. He kept pounding, in and out, at that pace for a few minutes before needing to switch positions. He pushed her until she was lying on her front, still buried inside; then he grabbed her left hand and grabbed the back of it, moving so she could fit her hand below them. He guided her to her clit, providing the force to her rubbing while she gave herself the feeling.

"I… I…" Bella could only gasp out incoherently. Thankfully, Edward understood.

"Shit, I'm coming. Come with me, love. Come," he begged, and in a moment of synchronization, he managed to come at the same time he felt her walls pulsing around him. He kept pumping, riding out his orgasm, and then he collapsed on Bella's back.

"Fuck," Edward heaved, rolling to the side and taking her with him so they were spooning. "Even the sex is better."

She laughed breathlessly.

"Boy, did you mean it when you said you wanted it rough."

Suddenly worried, he stiffened behind her.

"Did I hurt you?"

Thankfully, she shook her head no.

"I liked it. Maybe not every day, but every once in a while I'd enjoy it." Sighing in relief, Edward burrowed as much as he could into his girlfriend, tucking her head beneath his chin and wrapping his arms around her waist.

Bella closed her eyes, content.

"You know, I'd really missed this."

"My body?"

"Yeah," Bella wiggled her butt, making Edward involuntarily buck up his hips. He couldn't help it; it was instinct, he swore. "But I meant more broadly this. The sex, yes, but also the aftermath."

Excited, Edward squeezed her.

"Does that mean you're gonna let me cuddle now longer than ten minutes?"

Bella giggled.

"I make no promises. But I'll try."

Edward gave a deep sigh.

"That sounded charged. What's up, lover boy?"

Edward tightened his arms around her.

"I was just wondering… what would happen once we graduate. How we'd manage with the long distance relationship and stuff."

Bella flinched. That, right. After a fight with Edward last year she decided to apply to a master's degree (for which she was accepted) in University of Nevada, Reno. Which was eleven hours by car from Arizona. That was why you shouldn't make any decisions when you were pissed at your boyfriend. So even though she was excited for the experience, she was also too aware of the fact that she'd be in a long-distance relationship with her boyfriend for two years. So yeah, she wasn't psyched about that.

"Don't remind me. I'm still pissed I didn't apply somewhere closer. Not to mention now I won't be around for Emmett's baby's first steps."

Edward snorted.

"I'm somehow not surprised your first thought is of baby McCarty."

Bella rolled her eyes.

"Of course it's about _you_ , stupid. I'm just… realizing what I did. I don't regret it, but maybe I would do it differently if I could do it again." Bella sighed sadly. "You think we'll make it apart for two years?"

Edward scoffed.

"Baby, I'll stitch myself to your side if I need to. I might've gotten back on my feet these last few months without you, but they were _hell_. No way am I doing that again voluntarily. We'll figure it out, I promise. Neither of us has to give up their dreams to make things work; at best, we'll have to compromise."

Bella smiled.

"I'm glad we think the same. I don't think I'd survive two years without you, either."

* * *

.

* * *

"I do."

"You may now kiss the bride."

The Church erupted in applause and cheers.

As it would turn out, Rose's father pretty much forced her to marry Emmett two days after graduation. Apparently, Rosalie's family was even more traditional than Emmett's, so when the McCarty parents and the Hale parents met, they pushed and pushed their kids until they agreed to tie the knot. Emmett didn't mind; that had been his initial plan anyway. Rose couldn't help but give in after months of nagging.

Bella was in the side of best man and Jasper was the maid of honor; the bridesmaids were made up by some of Rose's high school and college friends while the groomsmen were football friends and Jason (Emmett's brother). Everyone had been invited, from family to high school and college friends. Renée and Phil had made the cut, obviously.

Someone nobody had expected?

Alice.

She'd just casually shown up as Jasper's date, wearing a beautiful dress and with her hair as long as it had ever been. When the ceremony had ended, Alice had sauntered up to the newlyweds and winked at them playfully.

"Why, I do declare you'll be the happiest couple there ever is —until Jasper and I get married, of course," Alice had grinned, hands behind her back and a bounce in her step.

Emmett had been shocked.

"Alice…? What are you doing here?" Emmett breathed out, shocked. He hadn't seen his ex-girlfriend since they'd broken up four years ago, and seeing her then was too sudden for him.

Alice giggled, and her twinkling laugh was as sweet as it had ever been.

Seeing her there, dressed in pink and with her hair as long as she'd always said she wanted it, Emmett thought for a moment he was seventeen and seeing his girlfriend walk down the stairs on their way to prom. They'd been so madly in love back then —he was still madly in love with her when they broke up— and they'd been so sure they'd be together forever. And here they were; she watched him get married, and then she'd go back to her boyfriend and probably try to bully him into marriage. He knew, seeing her bright smile, that she was happy for him —and he was glad, too. He knew Jasper was a great dude, and he knew the Texan worshipped the ground the pixie walked on.

"Well, I'm here to watch my ex get married of course! I wouldn't miss it for the world. You look so handsome, Em, truly," Alice said, swallowing back a bout of tears that threatened to spill. She wasn't sad, but nostalgia certainly grew inside of her. She turned to Rose, who had an apprehensive look on her face. "And you look _gorgeous_ , Rosalie. And your _dress_ … Jesus, you could've been a model."

"A pregnant model?" Rose joked, actually feeling a little self-conscious, more so because in front of her was the petite and pretty ex-girlfriend. Plus, she'd gained like two pounds per month.

"The hottest pregnant model ever," Alice winked. "Don't be a stranger. I'm moving back to Arizona for a year to help my mom with some stuff, so I'm sure we'll be seeing each other around."

Rose smiled back at the tiny girl, unsure of how to feel. Alice was pretty much Jasper's shadow from what she knew, but Rose remembered how much Emmett had suffered after their breakup; the love they'd shared had been huge. And Bella, the love of Emmett's life (described that way by her own husband) was besties with Alice; it was a hard thing to fight. On the other hand, she actually rather liked Alice, and it was a big possibility the girl would end up marrying her cousin. And, if she was thinking rationally, she knew that Emmett had never given her any indication that he would've rather gone back to Alice. She had to trust Emmett even if it seemed like the hardest thing to do at the moment.

Smiling goofily, Emmett grabbed Alice and crushed her in a bear hug; he leaned in to whisper in her ear.

"I'm glad you came. I've missed you."

Smiling fondly, Alice gasped out what she could.

"I've missed you too." Then, more loudly, she wheezed dramatically. "Let me go, you oaf. I can't breathe."

Laughing, he set his ex-girlfriend down; then he wrapped an arm around Rose's waist, turning to give her cheek a kiss.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go find Jazzy. That man needs a chaperone."

Then Alice was gone just as suddenly as she arrived.

Emmett chuckled.

"What?" Rose asked, feeling pissed. He'd enjoyed that reunion too much.

"Nothing, it's just that I feel relieved. I've wondered what would happen when I saw Ali again, and I'm glad it was like this. I'm the happiest I've ever been, and I'm sure she is too. I'm glad we dated, but…" Emmett placed a hand on Rose's belly. "I'm also glad we broke up."

Rosalie's anxiety flew away.

"Oh my God I can't believe you got married!" Emmett suddenly felt a body slam against his back, arms and legs quickly wrapping around his torso.

"I swear, if you're flashing, I'm not covering you," Emmett warned, grabbing Bella's legs so she wouldn't fall down.

"I've got her," Edward said, his hands flattening Bella's dress to her legs. No way was he letting someone see her granny panties.

"See? _He_ cares about my modesty," Bella said, bending to place a kiss on Rose's cheek. "You look like a princess, Rose."

Rosalie smiled; Bella never gave compliments she didn't mean, so whenever she did it meant a lot to her.

"Thanks, Bella."

One thing Rosalie was eternally grateful for was that time really did heal all wounds. By now, things were nearly back to the way they'd been back in their first semester of college. It had taken a lot of time and effort, but once Bella had realized Rose really _was_ there to stay, she started changing her tune. She went back to the trusting girl she'd been before, the only difference being that Bella refused to hear anything that had to do with Emmett. With time, Rose had stopped resenting that rule and had found the positive within it; she felt like Bella was _her_ friend, not Emmett's. This probably wouldn't happen if Rose was talking about Emmett and Bella was taking his side all the time. So, it worked. And Rose was thankful.

"Now, let's go. I'm _famished_. You're done with stuff here, right? Let's go let's go!"

Rose turned back to look at Edward with a quizzical look.

"Why's she so energetic?"

Edward gave her a tight smile.

"She couldn't sleep so she had like five cups of coffee before coming here. She's gonna crash in like an hour, so I suggest you enjoy her for the moment."

Rose's eyebrows hiked high into her hairline.

"Why couldn't she sleep?"

Edward groaned.

"This is too embarrassing. Love, tell her."

Gladly, Bella did.

"I was too excited about the food your dad is having catered. Emmett showed me the menu and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since."

Rose took that back.

She hated Bella Swan.

-.-

"I mean, honestly," Renée was laughing, looking more than a little tipsy. "We all thought that Emmett and Bella would end up together somehow," she gestured towards the McCarty parents, Phil and herself to illustrate who was 'all'.

Annoyed, Bella huffed.

"Mom, I would rather shoot Emmett in the foot than marry him. It's honestly the worst assumption anyone has ever made about me."

And she'd once heard a rumor that she was a dominatrix that liked torturing her subs into near death.

Phil was the one who echoed his wife.

"But it's true! Renée and I used to always get really worried about the two of you being holed up in the tree house all the time."

Edward was curious.

"What calmed your fears?"

"When Emmett and Bella shared their first kiss. She came into the house crying and then puked her dinner."

Mrs. McCarty suddenly guffawed, sounding eerily similar to her son.

"Oh, I remember that. They were eleven, I think. Emmy came home and spent an hour brushing his teeth."

Bella shuddered, remembering the event. Damn, remembering that was upsetting.

"And I mean, when we first met Edward, we were pretty sure Bella was a goner. All of my hopes died right then."

Edward puffed his chest proudly.

"Oh, we knew for sure when Emmett brought Alice home. She was such a sweetheart. Actually, I could've _sworn_ I saw her…" Mr. McCarty mumbled, looking to the side.

"She's here, Bob," Phil nodded, remembering the tiny girl. "I saw her just a while ago. Small as always, lovely as ever."

Bob McCarty sighed sadly.

"I rather liked her. She made my boy shine. Not that I have any complaints about Rosalie, but Em's hardly brought her home so I don't know her as well. And Ali was Em's first love, so we rather loved her too." Mr. McCarty turned to Bella, knowing she'd know. "What became of her?"

"She just graduated in fashion at NYU, and she's coming back for a year to help out her mom's business. She's also dating Jasper Whitlock, Rosalie's cousin. Life's funny that way," Bella offered. She was leaning back in her chair, content as Edward had an arm wrapped behind her; she also happened to be stealthily stealing some bread from his plate.

She wasn't stealthy, he was just whipped.

"Jasper? That blond stick?" Mr. McCarty's eyebrows shot up. "Wow, what a downgrade from my boy."

"Dad!" Jason snapped, horrified at what a jerk his father was. "You liked Jasper when we met him. Don't be rude just because he's dating Alice."

Bella thought the scene was funny, though Jason was right; Mr. McCarty was just a sore loser. Though to be fair, Bella also thought no one held a candle to Emmett… with the exception of Edward Cullen.

"But—" Mr. McCarty spluttered to fight his eldest son, but this time it was his daughter-in-law, Rachel, who intervened. She was holding a sleepy Maddison, who was six years old now and the cutest girl Bella had ever seen.

"Yeah Bob, no need to be mean. Jasper's nice, and Maddie liked him a lot."

At the mention of his granddaughter, Robert McCarty morphed into a human marshmallow, instantly deflated at the mention of the kid. Whatever Maddie liked, Grandpa loved —it was a rule.

The table laughed at the obvious defeat. Maddie chose that moment to open her eyes; eyes on target, she wiggled down from her mother's lap, sauntered over to Bella and then demanded to be picked up. Maddie was much more of a doer than a talker, so Bella silently picked up her little angel and held her as the kid drifted back to sleep.

"I swear, I have no idea what kind of spell Bella has the McCarty family under. Emmett can't live without her, we love her, Jason sees her as a little sister, Rachel always brings her chocolate and Maddie always rambles on about Auntie Bella. You're like the favorite McCarty member," Mrs. McCarty laughed, and the rest of the table joined in because it was true. Bella loved them like they were her own family, too; she didn't see Jason, Rachel and Maddie as much as she liked, but any time she found time she visited them.

"It's because I infiltrated your family like twenty years ago for the sole purpose of being Maddie's favorite aunt. I knew she was coming and I had to be prepared."

They spent the rest of the meal joking like that, poking fun at each other and trading stories. when it was time for Emmett and Rosalie's first dance, everyone hushed; even little Maddie perked up to see her uncle move his two left feet. Edward and Bella made their way to the sidelines of the dance floor; Bella simply couldn't miss being front row to this. She gave Edward her phone with the strict instructions to record it from beginning to end; her argument was that she couldn't afford to tear her eyes off the newlyweds even if it was for the video's sake. He honestly didn't need much convincing, if at all; what Bella wanted (within reason), Bella got.

A song came on that Bella didn't recognize, but that didn't stop her eyes from watering when she heard some of the lyrics:

 _I have died everyday waiting for you_

 _Darling, don't be afraid_

 _I have loved you for a thousand years_

 _I'll love you for a thousand more._

She watched the intensity with which Emmett was watching Rosalie, the love that was reflected in Rose's face when she looked at the man Bella had seen shit in his own garden. In that moment, Bella knew whatever leftover weariness she had towards the blonde was gone —she couldn't think a single bad thing about the woman who loved her best friend so. She couldn't risk alienating the mother of her future godson, nor did she find a good reason to; Rose was strong and in love with the dumbest, smartest man Bella knew. In that moment, Bella realized that Emmett truly had been meant for Rose and not for Alice Brandon; life worked in mysterious ways, and it had thankfully worked in her best friend's favor.

After the first dance and the family-newlywed dances were over, Edward wasted no time in whisking Bella to the dance floor. He pulled her flush against him as the sound of Aerosmith's I Don't Want To Miss A Thing came on.

"Tell me the truth. How many wine glasses did you sneak when I wasn't looking?" Edward asked, making her giggle; she let her head fall back.

"Like… two."

"Two times what?"

"Um, what comes after four?" Bella teased, enjoying the slow pace they were dancing at. "Hey, I'm surprised you only cried once during the ceremony."

Edward raised an eyebrow.

"What do you mean I only cried once? You only _saw_ me cry once, you were so fixed on Em and Rose. I cried like a baby."

Grinning, Bella blew him a kiss.

"I'm glad their love story is a happy one."

Edward didn't say anything; he'd never heard a shouting match like the ones he'd witnessed between Rose and Emmett throughout the years, but he couldn't tell this to Bella. Edward wasn't sure what he'd do if he'd ever dated a woman like Rosalie Hale.

Probably become a wallflower.

"I'm pretty sure your mom is at least a little sad that that's not you," Edward said.

She scoffed.

"You kidding? Remember how she cried when I brought you home again in April? She forgot I even existed."

Edward smirked, proud of his charms; it was true. Renée had whispered in his ear that if he ever wanted to elope to Vegas with her daughter all she asked was to be let know so she could buy the tickets.

He was seriously thinking about that offer.

"It's not her fault. I _am_ irresistible after all."

Bella snorted.

"Boy, you weren't at all this morning," she pointed out, making him flinch. Emmett's bachelor party had been intense to say the least; his football friends had pulled out all the stops, even hiring the strippers that were mandatory for bachelor parties in every movie. Edward wasn't a man who had an easy time saying no, and when you had women trying to grind on in a noisy strip club it was hard to get your displeasure across. So everyone else had gotten shit-faced, a few football players had gone home with a girl (or two) and Bella had arrived at Emmett's to find a handful of hungover, glittery men. Edward hadn't been hungover (he still didn't drink anything) but he'd certainly been sparkly all over his face and pants. Bella had made him drop his pants to confirm there was no glitter on his dick; she wasn't irrational enough to think he'd cheated on her, but she knew his difficulty in saying no. If he'd been even unable to stop a woman from worming her hand down his pants, Bella would've lost it.

"Love, I was even irresistible covered in stripper glitter from head to toe." Edward winked at her with fake confidence. Rolling her eyes, Bella linked her arms behind his neck.

"You know what was irresistible? Alexei, yesterday's masseuse. You never give me back rubs that good."

Edward glared at her.

"I still can't believe you _chose_ the male masseuse. I expected that from Rose, not from you."

Bella snorted.

"You kidding me? Have you seen the basketball she swallowed? She can't lay on her stomach even if she tries. Alexei's twin did her feet."

Edward rolled his eyes; Bella was ridiculous and they both knew it.

"You know, I think I could settle for three kids. Hmm… two, depending on our finances. And I don't need a big wedding like this one, I think inviting like twenty-five people from my side and twenty-five from yours is enough. What do you think?"

Bella laughed.

"You really think that's how you'll convince me? With unchecked confidence?"  
Damn if she wasn't finding it sexy as hell.

"Well, if insecurity got me nowhere, might as well flip the coin. So I guess I'll just pester you until you want these things for yourself in such a natural way you won't even know when you changed your mind."

Bella raised an eyebrow.

"I could still say I don't want kids, you know. Or to get married. Especially get married."

Edward pouted.

"But if we don't get married, you won't get to see me cry for twenty-four hours straight," Edward said, and damn if that didn't sound appealing to Bella. He was adorable when he sobbed from happiness. "And you don't _not_ want kids. You're just being stubborn because you want to see where we'd go if you tell me you don't want any and I still do."

Bella's eyebrows flew into her hairline.

"That's a very dangerous assumption to make."

And also scary because of how true it was.

"It would be, if this wasn't you. You're just a little slow on the uptake when it comes to relationships, that's all. And prone to thinking everyone's like your parents, even though no one is. Remember, Bella Swan, I'm not trying to convince you to like marriage or children per se —I'm making you realize that you want them with _me_."

Bella pretended to think about it.

"And what's so special about you?"

"I can make popcorn without burning it, and I also don't get mad when you eat my chocolate. So already that makes me dad _and_ husband material."

Bella giggled. Damn if this man didn't have her wrapped around his finger.

"You've come a long way in learning to cook. Plus, you _do_ wash the dishes without me asking you to," Bella pretended to consider the offer seriously. "Any other perks I should know about?"

Edward thought about it.

He brought his lips close to her ear.

"I love you more than I love anything else. I'll always be on your side. And I'll make it my life's mission to help you grow into the person you want to be," Edward whispered, unknowingly making Bella cry. "And I'll also give you the family you always needed. We'll be partners in crime raising little hoodlums who think we're cool and always want to be around us because they know nobody will ever love them like we do."

Bella lowered her arms so she was instead hugging Edward around his waist, needing to crush herself against him as much as she could. Bella didn't know if those words were enough to convince her that she really did want to get married and have kids, but they were a little seed of doubt. A what if.

"Also, I wanted this to be a surprise but I can't hold it in any longer. When you applied to Nevada, I kind of applied to a master's program in San Francisco too for Urban and Public Affairs. When we broke up I forgot all about it, but a few weeks ago I got news that I was accepted. So I talked to mom, who talked to a friend of hers, and now I also have a job at this architecture firm specialized in urban planning. The job's near Sacramento though, and I'd have to be traveling back and forth between it and San Francisco so I had to choose someplace in the middle; I'll be living in Fairfield, which is forty minutes from Davis and is a little over an hour from USF. And the drive from Fairfield to Reno is about two hours and a half. So… we might be able to see each other on the weekends. If you want."

Bella stopped dancing.

She turned around and walked off the dance floor, a worried Edward running after her. He caught up to Bella near the pool (because of course the monstrous reception had one), and thankfully no one was around.

He grabbed her wrist.

"Are you… mad?"

Suddenly, she threw herself against him, openly sobbing.

"Oh God, Edward, I was so _worried_! I didn't know what we were going to do! What if you met some pretty girl here while I was all the way in Nevada and she really liked you and I was there and then I felt you pulling away from me so I only came back here to break up with you and—"

He kissed her.

When he was sure she wasn't about to keep ranting, he pulled back.

"Love, you're not Kate. I don't feel for you what I felt for her; the two of us hardly spoke once she left Phoenix, and I can tell you I never missed her as much as I miss you when we don't see each other for even a week. So let's clear that up, ok? This is Edward and Bella, not Edward and Kate. Even if we're long distance, I told you I'd make sure I could stick to you like glue."

Bella blubbered happily.

"You're such a stalker. What if I wanted to go to Reno to get away from you?"

Edward kissed her again.

"I can always turn down the job and the degree, do them here in Phoen—"

"Don't you even dare joke about that," Bella grumbled, kissing him again. She needed the reassurance that he was _there_ , that he loved her. He did, and so did she.

"Ok. So I guess I'm going to California," Edward shrugged.

"And I'm going to Nevada." Bella swallowed. "Are you ready for this?"

Edward pulled back to look at the face of the woman he loved. She looked beautiful as always, her eyes making his breath catch and her mouth making his heart stutter. He knew under that fancy, sexy dress were granny panties with a unicorn stamp in the back. He also knew that tomorrow they had a date to be alone together; Bella would be reading her comics in his apartment and he'd be playing the piano for hours on end to calm his post-wedding anxiety. He thought of all the adventures they'd yet to embark on, all the places they hadn't visited yet, all the problems they hadn't overcome.

He kissed her forehead, heart warm.

"Yeah, I really am."

* * *

 **Man, this was a long one (for me). I know it's a little shorter than usual, but honestly I put this one together rather quickly. A necessity given how swamped I am. Also, turns out I have attention deficit disorder (inattentive type); I started getting treated last week even though I've known since December (because I'm stubborn like that) and man have I made a 180. I'm efficient like I've never been; hopefully it's not just the placebo effect. So yeah, I basically put this chapter together super quickly and mostly without interrupting my schedule. A first.**

 **Anyway, I hope y'all liked this chapter. Your reviews always warm my heart, and I always get happy when I receive favorite and follow notifications. So thanks, guys. And... if you didn't have the tingling sensation, let me tell you. Next up is the epilogue. I knew this wasn't going to be a long story since the beginning, but herein confirmation. I enjoy writing this story so much and watching you react to it, and it makes me sad to think my time with FanFiction might be coming to an end. The year coming up will be really hard for me, and the one after that won't be any easier. So if you don't see something new of mine before July... well, it'll be a while before we see each other. That, or I'll only post one-shots. There's this one-shot I wrote a little while back, but I honestly don't love it, so even though the part of me that loves interacting with you wants to post it the writer in me is too picky to let me. So, this isn't goodbye yet. I promise to have the last chapter up when I can, which at the latest will be Easter (the last two weeks have been hectic and the next two weeks aren't looking much better).**

 **Thank you so much for seeing this story to the end with me.**

 **Leah.**


	9. The Epilogue

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

* * *

"… Isabella Marie Swan, will you marry me?"

Bella took in a deep breath, closing her eyes. Deep, calming breaths she reminded herself. When she opened them again, she fixed her eyes on the green ones that were looking at her filled with hope and love.

"No."

She grabbed her purse, stuffed her iPhone in it and walked the hell out of his apartment. She had a long drive back to Reno ahead of her and she wanted to get home before it was dark out.

Stunned, Edward didn't immediately run after her.

Had she just…? Said no? No to marrying him? He felt faint. Was he going to pass out from the shock? It certainly felt like it. He could hear his heart beating frantically in his ears. He'd literally just poured his heart out to the love of his life and she'd… walked away.

He looked at the open door, eyes seeing trained on the hallway that connected the apartments. Could he even call it a hallway? What was the right word? The wall was waist-high, so he could see some of the parking lot.

A strong wind blew in; it put all the candles out, and then it shut the door with a slam.

Shit. His neighbors were going to complain about the thrown door.

* * *

As planned, Bella left for Reno and Edward for California. There were a lot of tears involved, especially whenever Bella realized she wouldn't be there for Nathan McCarty's first everything (though by some miracle she managed to be there for his birth just a few days before she left). She wanted to take Angela with her to Reno, and she sure as hell almost kidnapped Emmett. Just a few days into October Bella had called Edward crying her eyes out, which had nearly put him on a plane out to see her.

 _"_ _Hello?"_

 _"_ _Edward?"_

 _"_ _What's wrong, Bella? Are you crying? Is something wrong? Are you ok?"_

 _A snot-filled laugh._

 _"_ _I'm ok, physically. But inside… Edward, was this a mistake? I've never been away from home for so long, and I don't mean from mom and Phil. I got used to not seeing them in college, but… But I can't just go to Denny's and see how Missy's doing, or plan to meet up with Emmett in the tree house after a long week, or have breakfast with Angela, or see Nathan's first words, or see Jason and Maddie and Rachel during one of their birthdays. And it's so cold here, Edward! I never thought I'd miss the sweltering heat but I_ do _and it_ sucks _," Bella cried, and even though he knew she was bordering hysterical, he let her cry it out. "And I miss you so fucking much. I know we just saw each other last Sunday, but I miss waking up next to you and kissing you and your funny shirts and even your dorky glasses and…"_

 _A sharp intake of breath._

 _"_ _Was it a mistake, Edward? Tell me honestly. Don't you feel like this?"_

 _A pause._

 _"_ _I think you're overwhelmed. I would be too if I hadn't brought my piano with me. You left almost all your comics home, right? Maybe you could buy a few online right now, and I'll bring you some physical ones next week. Just to take your mind off of it; maybe go for a walk, remind yourself Reno's pretty nice too."_

 _"_ _But was this a mistake, Edward?"_

 _"_ _I don't know baby. All I can tell you is if you don't want to go through with this you have my full support. Remember you're there because you want to be, not because you're forced to. And you're doing what you love, right? You were having fun with your field experience, right? So have fun. Phoenix will still be there on Thanksgiving break. Don't think about what you're lacking or you'll miss what you do have."_

 _A sniffle._

 _"_ _Do you miss me?"_

 _His heart hurt._

 _"_ _Of course. Every day. I even dreamt about you last night; want me to tell you about my dream?"_

Calming her down had been hard, but by the end of the conversation, he had his girlfriend back.

One of the best parts of growing up together was that Edward managed to see how his girlfriend kept changing. She wasn't as aloof with strangers as she'd been in high school, and was even friendlier than she'd become in college. She'd told him she wanted to go out more, to make more friends, and so she had; already, every time he called her she was either on an errand with a friend or hanging out with someone if she wasn't in class or doing homework or working. He was glad because this meant more people got to see what an incredible person she was, how funny and charming. The first semester though, he'd had trouble reigning in his jealousy every time that she was hanging out with a male friend; he hadn't known or cared if the guy was good looking, swung that way or was even interested in Bella. The mere fact that a man other than him had the opportunity to enjoy Bella's presence and he didn't had made him upset. The feeling eventually faded away, making both of them happier; Bella wasn't the kind of person that felt flattered whenever Edward showed jealousy. She'd made it very clear that she wasn't the heroine of a romance novel that felt how much he loved her with every show of jealousy; she instead felt it to be a sign of mistrust —in her and in the relationship. He'd thought that she was right and had never let his jealousy shine through if it ever arose. Not that he'd complain if Bella ever got jealous over him; in all their time together she'd never once been jealous, not even when he'd gone out with Lennie. Kate hadn't been a jealous person either, but she'd had a moment or two where she hadn't been happy with how he'd talked about Bella.

Time went by, and eventually Bella got used to life in Reno. She had a handful of friends she was always talking about over the phone —that was, if he managed to get a hold of her. She was constantly yapping away with Emmett, Angela, Rose or Alice. Renée got a call once every three weeks and Charlie once every two —Renée's being longer and Charlie's more frequent to balance things out. He knew the highlight of Bella's day was when Emmett got Nathan on FaceTime so Bella could coo away at the little creature.

On his end, things were good too. Stressful. Being in traffic so much wore him down far more than any of his classes or work. Thankfully, he could work from home the days he had classes so he didn't need to drive two hours from Sacramento to San Francisco. Friday nights he would drive out to Reno so he could arrive near midnight, managing to escape most of the worst traffic; he wanted to wake up next to Bella. Then he'd drive back Sunday night. When he was too tired to drive out Bella would leave bright and early Saturday morning and drive back Sunday afternoon so she could be back in Reno just before the sun set. Even though Bella complained he drove too much, he preferred making the trip than Bella making it; if he did it, he'd have more time with her. Once or twice they'd manage a three-day weekend if one of their classes got cancelled, and in those cases Edward would greet Bella while crying.

While Bella had become more and more social, Edward had also worked towards a healthier social life. He'd never lacked friends, and he'd always gone out a lot more to parties and things like cook-outs than Bella, but during his last year of college he'd nearly stopped socializing outside of class. He'd felt overwhelmed back then, and even though he had a _lot_ of shit to do now, he also had the will to go out more. It made him feel better, too; he enjoyed hanging out with some of his master's friends, even though he had little time to spare for them. Usually they'd go out for a drink at a nearby bar and hang out for a while; well, his friends would drink. Edward was still abstinent. Though it wasn't frequent, he and Bella were comfortable cancelling their weekend meet-ups every once in a while in favor of plans with friends, or they'd invite the other to hang out with their group. To Edward's relief, Bella had gotten better at talking over the phone with him; in the beginning of their relationship they'd talk for five minutes and then she'd make up some excuse to hang up. Not because she didn't like talking to him, he knew, but because she had a hard time finding things to say and felt like it was her responsibility to keep him entertained. He also chucked it up to not living within ten minutes of each other; she seemed to have a lot of stuck words every time they talked.

Edward thought that the best part of being together with someone for so long was seeing their mask fall away.

The Bella he knew was almost nothing like the Bella he'd known in high school. Nowadays he'd hardly describe her as _cool_ , for instance. She was just stoic when she wasn't comfortable, which came off as 'cool and aloof'. He'd seen her not shower for three days straight (which honestly wasn't that bad; somehow she wasn't someone who smelled bad without a shower, though he didn't know if three days were the limit), had endured her drinking straight from the milk carton and even caught her once using his toothbrush —he loved her, but that was a no no. He'd also taken her to ComicCon once and _boy_ had that been an experience. She'd dressed up as an anime character —he didn't remember which— and it had been such a good costume that she'd been asked _everywhere_ to have her picture taken. Worse still? His girlfriend, usually so against pictures, was ecstatic to have her photo taken. She was a geek, through and through. She'd played it off in the beginning of their relationship, but ever so slowly she started revealing herself —and he loved it. He found her to be just all around adorable.

She also stopped being so hesitant about them as a couple.

Maybe it was because he was her first boyfriend, or maybe she was just born that way, but she'd been really afraid in the beginning of saying or doing the wrong thing. It hadn't felt that way then, but seeing how carefree she was now, he saw the difference. Even how slow she'd been on the uptake with sex was history; nowadays he had to stop her from stripping the moment she stepped into his apartment.

Then again, she was still the same Bella.

It was odd, thinking about how much she'd changed and at the same time remained the same. She was still a lightweight. She still sang random, off-pitch songs while she cooked and she still fought with Emmett for shotgun. She still told him she didn't want kids even though she'd told literally everybody else that she actually did want them. She still loved psychology and once he got her talking about that there was no stopping her. She still asked him to play the piano for her while she read comics. She still only went to parties every once in a blue moon. She still liked pretending she was a Debbie Downer even though she was an easy-going person. She also still liked debating him on subjects she agreed on him with just for the sport of debating.

She still had a heart of gold.

She was still the most beautiful girl he'd ever met, and man had he seen pretty women in San Francisco. When he'd first moved he thought he'd find all these operated or super fit women and think they could compare to Bella's beauty, but he'd been sorely disappointed. Not because he wasn't aware that other beautiful women existed, but because he realized he hadn't been biased at all —his girlfriend was just _that_ much of an extraordinary beauty. When he'd first realized this a few months in after having moved, he'd called Bella.

 _"_ _Hello?"_

 _"_ _Hey baby."_

 _"_ _Edward! I'm so glad you called. I want to bring cookies tomorrow; what do you want them to be?"_

 _"_ _Chocolate chip of course," was the instant reply._

 _"_ _So, what's up? You usually don't call before heading in to class."_

 _"_ _I just realized something, and I need to share it with you. But only if you promise not to get mad."_

 _"_ _I promise nothing. Out with it."_

 _Chuckle._

 _"_ _I'm in campus. I was just… thinking. You know, I thought when I got out of Phoenix I'd suddenly find that there were women as beautiful as you out here in the West coast. You know, since all the actresses and models live around here. But even though there's all sort of beautiful women, none hold a candle to you. And I know you don't like me talking about how outstandingly beautiful you are if I'm comparing us, but I need to ask. Don't you feel like… there's a better looking guy out there for you?"_

 _"_ _Out here in Reno?" Laugh. "Well, I don't know. Maybe. Sure. I'm done getting mad over you talking like that, though if you ever ask again I can't promise what I'll do."_

 _"_ _So you_ do _think there's hotter guys out there?"_

 _Another laugh._

 _"_ _Not for me. I love how you look, and I love your style. I don't know how to explain it, but I'm kind of weird in the sense that I've never lusted after a guy I don't know or think badly about. I didn't like you either until I knew you had a heart of gold. But when I did? I haven't liked anyone since."_

 _And that was somehow all he needed._

Sometime after their first year apart, they were hanging out in his room while drifting in and out of sleep. They were talking about marriage for the first time in a while, and to his surprise, Bella hadn't shut him down immediately when he'd told her he wanted to marry her when they were done with their master's degree. She was speeding to get hers done, and he was going at a normal pace.

 _"_ _So, I'm thinking it should be a spring wedding," Edward told her. He had his head lying on her stomach, looking up at the ceiling. Bella was reading a comic._

 _"_ _What wedding?"_

 _"_ _Ours. Next year, when we're done with school."_

 _Bella snorted._

 _"_ _With what money?"_

 _"_ _Well, we both work. Your apartment's really cheap, and my rent's nearly nothing since my boss is practically lending it to me. And neither of us buys a lot of things —well, you your comics, but you haven't been buying as many lately. So, if we take out a loan we'd be able to put together a nice and small wedding. Not to mention your mom's told me she put aside some money for your wedding since college cost her nothing."_

 _Bella groaned in annoyance._

 _"_ _Edward… What about an apartment? Where would we live?"_

 _"_ _Well," he said excitedly, thrilled that she hadn't just shut him down. "That depends on just a few things. First, do you want to stay in Reno?" Pausing, Bella shook her head no. She liked it, but everyone she cared about wasn't there. "Do you want to go back to Arizona?"_

 _She paused even longer this time._

 _"_ _I want to be wherever you are so long as I can put my degree to use. I love Phoenix, everyone's there, but I don't want to go back if you're happy in San Francisco. I imagine you have more opportunities here."_

 _Heart warm, he answered smugly._

 _"_ _See? You_ do _want a future with me."_

 _She gave him a funny look though he couldn't see._

 _"_ _I've always wanted a future with you. It's just the marriage part that scares me."_

 _Damn, he loved her. He told her so, then went back to his original talking points._

 _"_ _Well, I think I want to gain more experience here. There's stuff I'd like to make better in Phoenix, but I'd like to make the most of my time in California. Plus, Reggie likes me, and I like working for him. If I can, I'd like to stay here five more years or so. Think you can handle that?"_

 _Bella nodded to herself._

 _"_ _The only reason I've survived this year is how often we see each other. I have no doubt I'd miss everyone dearly, but… it's not like they're not all living their own lives. I want us to live together, wherever that may be."_

 _Edward smiled._

 _"_ _See, you_ do _want to marry me!" Edward turned his head to look at Bella, who didn't seem amused at all. He sighed. "Come on, love. Tell me what it is about marriage that scares you so much."_

 _She pursed her lips, looked sideways and then back at him. She sighed._

 _"_ _Fine. I'm scared that we'll make this big thing out of it, and then we'll get divorced just like my parents. I'm scared that you could fall in love with someone else and serve me divorce papers some day without even an explanation, and I'd be forced into this custody battle with you over silly objects. I'm scared of some day losing my identity because all people see me as is a wife, not a person. I'm scared, Edward."_

 _He sat up and turned to face her. This was the most real she'd gotten with him over her fears, and it sounded to him like mostly she was scared of divorce._

 _"_ _Alright. First things first: you're you. Bella. If you want to keep your last name, I'm not gonna try to change your mind. You're a lot of things —my girlfriend, a daughter, a friend, psychologist, a student. Being a wife or a husband is just one more thing to be; I don't know how other people see this, but that's the way I look at it. You'll never be just a wife, you'll be Bella who happens to be a wife. Second of all… I'm not bailing on you at the first sign of trouble, baby. Nor are you bailing on me. I'm not gonna say I'd never ever divorce you because I don't know what the future holds —but I do know us, and we're not calling it quits without a fight. If, God forbid, we should, it's because we tried everything and still couldn't make things work. Third of all, I'm never falling in love with another woman if I can have you, I know that for a fact. Starting from how you're high maintenance enough—" he got smacked, and he chuckled, "—kidding love. Look, we've seen each other at our worst —we've broken up— and we haven't been that type of people. We didn't fight over who should keep what, and you and I share pretty much everything. Love, I wouldn't push you to consider marriage if I thought we were doomed from the start. I think I have with you what my parents have —a solid partnership that overflows with love. Marriage gives couples stability, both mentally and legally, and also for kids it speaks of a solidity in relationships. I might not be as religious as Emmett, but I do want to marry you in the eyes of God surrounded by our family and friends. I know it might seem like it, but it's not just me being capricious and wanting to have things go my way. It's practical,_ and _an expression of love."_

 _Bella didn't say anything for a long time, just looking down at her closed comic book._

 _"_ _I want to think about this, Edward." She'd looked up at him with watery eyes. "Is this a dealbreaker?"_

 _It took him a moment, but he shook his head._

 _"_ _No. Having kids is a lot more important to me than getting married."_

That conversation had happened six months ago, and it was now almost March. So when he'd seen her eyes had started lingering more and more on wedding dresses or things like wedding halls, he'd decided to strike while the iron was hot. He'd fixed up his apartment with flowers and a lot of chocolates (more candy than flowers in fact), bought a shitload of candles and had taped another shitload of comics to the wall behind him —arranging them so they read Will You Marry me? He'd even recorded himself playing her lullaby, and it was playing in the background while he gave her a speech of how much he loved her once he'd led her inside the apartment. How much he needed her, and how much he was looking forward to starting a life with her.

And then she'd left.

* * *

 _What the fuck are you doing, man? Run after her! You know she's not playing games, dumbass._

With that pep talk from his subconscious, Edward ran like the trained athlete he was after his girlfriend. What had he been doing, reminiscing all this time instead of going after her? Sometimes he questioned his intelligence, really.

His feet had just hit the parking lot when he saw that Bella's death trap was still parked in place. He slowed down, noticing that even though it had been a couple of minutes since she'd left she hadn't even started the engine. Sighing, he walked over to her.

He knocked on the glass, startling her.

Go away, she mouthed.

Rolling his eyes, he easily opened her door. The locks weren't automatic on her car, and she always forgot to lock it when she was inside.

"Bella, talk to me."

Looking at her, he realized she'd been crying. Shit, that hurt. Face falling, he couldn't keep himself from flinching when he talked.

"Are you that upset I asked you to marry me?"

He'd honestly thought they were on the same page by now. That hadn't been the only conversation they'd had about marriage in the last year and a half, and the most recent one had happened just two weeks ago. They'd already established where they wanted to live, the fact that Bella _did_ want children (after actually very little pushing from Edward), how they'd organize the finances and even who they wanted as best man and maid of honor —Seth would be the best man and Emmett the maid of honor. Bella was confident Emmett would have a hoot with planning her bachelorette party. So after that conversation, Edward had been confident Bella had finally come around to the idea of being married to him; he wouldn't have asked her if he'd thought otherwise. Not to mention, he'd thought he'd finally made her see all the things he'd been talking about —made her truly want those things for herself. Felt like she'd say yes not as a compromise to make him happy but because it was something she'd like for her own future.

He could live in sin, but he couldn't live without her.

To his surprise, Bella shook her head no.

"Then what is it? Did you not like the proposal?"

Bella gave a shaky sigh.

"I-I was just… overwhelmed. Surprised. I didn't think you'd do a cheesy proposal like that, but figured it'd just be a given when we had one final talk and decided to go ahead with it. S-So when I came in and you just started t-talking I felt my fight or flight instinct take hold and I… well, I fled."

Edward frowned.

"But you know me, love. I'm always cheesy if you let me."

Bella let out something that sounded like a cross between a sob and a laugh.

"True," Bella sniffled.

He had one question left. Two, actually.

"So why didn't you leave?"

Bella took a few calming breaths, in and out, long and slow.

"I couldn't do that to you. Even as overwhelmed as I was, I knew I'd never forgive myself if I just drove back without saying anything."

Leaning forward, he wiped away the tears that kept slipping with his thumbs. He loved this ridiculous, kind woman.

"Thank you. I would've forgiven you, but I can't say I wouldn't have been hurt," Edward admitted. He grabbed Bella's bag which was resting on her lap. "Come on, let's go inside. You're in no condition to drive."

As he helped her down, she joked.

"What? Just because I wouldn't be able to see the road?"

She shut the car's door behind her with a thud, slipped her hand in Edward's and quietly followed him back into the apartment.

They went into the apartment, finding that all of the candles had been blown out. Figured; that _had_ been a pretty harsh wind that blew in.

Quietly, Edward went down to the middle of the floor and picked up the abandoned velvet box. He tucked it into his back pocket.

"Want some hot chocolate?" Edward asked her, and sniffling, Bella nodded. He disappeared into the kitchen, and she stayed in the living room running her eyes over the decorations she hadn't seen before.

She saw the marry me spelled out with comics. She saw that it wasn't just flowers strewn about but also a shit ton of Cadburry chocolates, her favorite. The candles smelled like vanilla, her favorite scent. There was a framed picture on the piano —the picture that had led her back to Edward two years ago. She finally processed that the song playing in the background was her lullaby.

And then she saw the man she loved, stronger than anyone she knew, peacefully making her hot chocolate while she'd just broken his heart. She thought about how lucky she was that her first real crush was her first boyfriend, and that her first boyfriend would be her last if she had things go her way.

Walking into the kitchen, she was glad she hadn't driven away.

"Edward?" He hummed, mixing the chocolate into the hot milk without turning to look back at her. "Let me see the ring."

His mixing stilled for a moment, then resumed.

"Bella, you don't have to spare my feelings. No is no, I won't bring it—"

"Just show me the ring Edward," Bella snapped, feeling like if he didn't do it now she'd lose her nerve.

Sighing, he turned around and pulled the velvet box out of his front pocket. He walked towards where she was standing and opened it.

It was beautiful, Bella thought. Classic. It had an intricate but simple design with a small diamond in the middle.

"It was my grandmother's. Grandma Cullen. Grandma Platt's engagement ring was sold to pay off their debts, so—"

Impatient, Bella frowned up at him.

"Aren't you gonna put it on?"

He stopped rambling and snapped his head up to look at his girlfriend.

"Put it… on?"

"Well, yeah. It's the proof of engagement, right? So put it on me silly," Bella said, shoving her left hand in his face.

He was, for once, speechless.

"Edward? The ring?"

He blinked.

"But you said no."

She shrugged as if it was a common occurrence for her to change her mind about marriage on a whim.

"And now I'm saying yes. I do. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

It took him a couple of minutes to process what she was saying, but once he had, he put the ring on Bella's finger like his ass was on fire.

"You'll marry me?" He yelled, and Bella briefly thought she should've been scared by the crazed look in his eye.

"Um, yes. I will."

Instead of ravaging her like she'd expected (wanted) Edward grabbed her around the waist, carried her to the bedroom and laid on top of her to cry his heart out.

"You're gonna be my wife?" He cried, squeezing her for all he was worth.

"I am."

He cried harder.

"You're not saying that just because you think I'm pushing you right? You know I'll stay with you even if you say no, right?"

"I know that. I'm still saying yes."

His crying intensified.

"And you know I'm gonna cry even uglier than this at our wedding, right?"

Bella laughed.

"I'm aware."

He kissed the spot on top of her heart.

"And you also know I'm gonna have to go call everyone now before we have celebratory sex right?"

She laughed even harder.

"Yeah, I suspected so."

And she loved him for it.

* * *

o

* * *

"Oh God I can't do this," Bella wheezed, ten minutes before she was set to walk down the aisle.

Alarmed, Emmett whipped back to look at his best friend. She couldn't be getting cold feet. No way.

"Why? Tell me you're still on board with marrying Edward. I didn't bring a back up plan in case I needed to sneak you out of the wedding, although I _could_ always use Nate as a distraction. Or fake a heart attack. Can I have a heart attack at almost twenty-five?"

Despite herself, Bella snorted. He was ridiculous as ever.

"Probably. And no I'm not re-thinking the wedding," Bella confessed, surprised by her own admission.

"Then what's up?"

Looking at herself in the mirror, she locked eyes with Emmett through her reflection.

"Edward's going to cry like a broken water tap, and I'm so going to cry just as hard if he cries that badly. My wedding photos are going to be so ugly."

Emmett guffawed.

He had to admit his best friend had a point; she looked the most beautiful he'd ever seen her, and he'd seen Edward cry when she'd just _barely_ fixed herself up for his own wedding.

"You have a point, Swan." He sighed sadly, nostalgically. "That's the last time I'm gonna be able to call you that, isn't it?"

She'd decided to change her last name, after all. She thought Isabella Cullen had a nice ring to it.

"Emmett… thanks. For being with me through it all. You're the brother I never had, the best friend a girl could ask for. I promise that when Edward designs our first house I'll make sure it has a tree house where you and I can hang out. Even if I'm not a Swan anymore, I'll still be your best friend."

He smiled. Bella had always had this uncanny ability to read his mind.

"I'm happy for you, Bells. You came a long way. I'm surprised you didn't marry Eddie right out of college with how head over heels you two are for each other, but I'm glad you waited. You two were made for each other."

Bella almost cried right then; Emmett was never sweet with her, and this meant the world to her. She missed him terribly the last two years and a half, and she really hoped some day she and Edward would move back to Phoenix.

"Thank you, Em. Really."

A knock broke their moment.

Charlie poked his head in.

"Baby girl? You ready?"

Bella smiled even wider when the door opened more and Phil was behind her dad. The two would be walking her down the aisle —Charlie as the first man who'd held her heart and Phil as the one who'd stuck around. Not that Charlie had _left_ , but in her heart Phil had always _been_ there for her. They both had their faults —no one was perfect—but between the two they'd made one functional father.

"I'm ready."

Then things were a little fuzzy for Bella, but suddenly she was walking down the aisle with two fathers on each side, watching as Edward's crying figure came closer and closer.

Edward had a brief flashback to Riley's wedding —everything happening almost exactly like he'd envisioned it. Her long hair was pinned up and showing off her neck; the dress hugged her in all the right places, making him cry even harder with how much he wanted to fuck her after marrying her. She gave him a wobbly smile and mouthed that she loved him, and that made his tears intensify. How could he be so lucky to have found her? No. _She_ found _him_. She didn't give up on him even when any other girl would have.

When Charlie gave Bella to Edward, he also handed over a handkerchief with a wink.

"Bella thought you'd need this."

He said it in a normal volume, but he said it near the microphone —so the whole Church heard, and everyone started laughing at his expense. Not that Edward cared; the whole world could laugh at him if it meant he got the girl.

Bella really couldn't have known what was said during the whole ceremony —she and Edward were making googley eyes at each other the entire time and only snapped back to attention when it was the time for their vows.

Edward went first.

"I realized I loved you after dating officially for just about two or three months; you've made me happy ever since our first date and haven't stopped since. I remember thinking that everything was so _easy_ with you. And then the years went by, and I realized that our relationship was like any other —not easy. Loving someone is thrilling and scary, at times as easy as breathing and other times as hard as pushing a boulder uphill. I vow to you, love of my life, to laugh through the good times, hold your hand during the scary moments, relax together on the easy days and share the weight of whatever rock you have to carry. We're in this together —not because it's easy, but because you're the only person I want to worry over, love and grow old with."

Bella was visibly shaking with the effort not to break down crying.

I love you, she mouthed.

She cleared her throat. She couldn't cry; her makeup would run.

"When we were in high school, I had the biggest crush on you. Everything you were was the best —the best athlete I knew, the best joker, the best friend. And then we started dating in college, and imagine my surprise when you were even better than what I thought. Sure, you insisted on calling to wake me up before eight in the morning, but no one can be perfect. For our master's you drove about five hours each weekend just so we could see each other. When you proposed to me, you forgave me even though I ruined all your efforts. All I can give you, Edward, is this—my promise to return to you tenfold all the patience, kindness, love and selflessness you've shown me until I'm old and gray and can't even remember anymore why it's not a good idea to let you use the microwave. I promise to never stop getting butterflies in my stomach whenever I realize I'm dating my high school crush, and that to top that off, I married him."

Fuck that, Edward wasn't resisting the urge to cry like a broken water tap —he cried and he did it without keeping himself in check. The Church was torn between laughing at him and awing at the vows. Everyone had a moment where they wondered if they should be uncomfortable by how much the groom was crying, but the fact that the groomsmen (Seth, Jake and Marcus, who'd returned to Arizona two years ago) and bridesmaids (Emmett, Angela and Alice) were also bawling their eyes out let everyone know that they shouldn't care for it. In fact, Seth had surprised himself by being unable to stop crying every ten minutes; he was just so glad that things had worked out for his brother, who loved the woman he was marrying with a frightening intensity. Seth had had one or two girlfriends since the time Edward had brought Bella home (he was about to enter his second year of college, so it was just how things went) and he'd never looked at one of his girlfriends the same way his brother looked at his almost-wife. Like they were the reason the sun rose every morning.

Shit, Seth was ecstatic that his brother had found someone as amazing as Bella. Now, being nearly twenty, he realized that he'd been wrong to think that _the_ mighty Bella Swan had graced his brother with her love. No, both were equally lucky to have found each other. Bella was the best thing that had ever happened to his brother, but he also couldn't imagine a cooler, kinder, more patient man than Edward for Bella. In middle school he'd thought of his brother as a too-nice dork who had stupid good luck with women; now, he saw his brother was nothing short of amazing. It had taken him a while to see it, but now that he did, he couldn't help but feel extra proud of Bella; she'd seen the great in Edward even when Seth hadn't been able to. Plus, he was pretty sure she actually thought his brother was attractive, though _that_ was beyond him. He'd finally knocked it off with the ridiculous hairstyle, but his glasses were still these square, broken things that had seen better days, and his t-shirts could honestly get annoying after twenty years. Worse still, Bella was constantly giving him more. Every birthday, anniversary or holiday Edward got a new graphic t-shirt along with another gift. Seth thought his brother was kind of like a cartoon —he always wore the same jeans, hoodie and shoes, only changing his shirt. When he'd visited his brother in California and seen his working outfit, he saw all of his ties and socks were either of comics (Bella's gifts), cartoons (Bella) or some fantasy movie (Edward's doing).

Seth was snapped back to reality when he saw that Edward and Bella were saying I do, and suddenly Bella was in Edward's arms before the priest could even pronounce them husband and wife. He'd swung her around so he was holding her by the waist and she was resting her weight on his arm, her hands holding onto his neck as he kissed the life out of her.

They were meant for each other alright.

-.-

"So _this_ is Tokyo," Bella breathed, watching the city lights from her spot. "I can't believe we're here. And for cherry blossom season too!"

Chuckling, Edward put down their carry-ons. He had to hand it to his girlfriend —the woman could pack light. They'd be in Japan for two weeks and all they'd each brought had been a carry-on, both liking to travel light.

 _Not girlfriend, stupid. Wife._

Right.

He got a stupid look in his face, unable to contain how happy he was. Nor did he have to —he was a dork and his wife knew it.

Watching her be so fascinated with the city, Edward was really thankful for all the people who made it possible. His father traveled so much for medical congresses that he had a fuckton of mileage, so he'd given the newlyweds the tickets for their honeymoon. Charlie had given them the money for the hotels, which had been a huge help and the difference between staying in hostels and proper rooms for the two. Emmett had given them a new microwave and Rose (armed with her father's credit card) had given them seven hundred dollars as a gift. Their closest friends —Alice, Jasper, Jake, Marcus and two more people from their college circle— had helped pitch in with nearly the rest of what they needed. So altogether, Edward and Bella would be spending 2k between the two tops (though Edward seriously doubted they'd use even 1k with how cheap they both were).

They were glad they had people who cared so much about them.

"Well love," Edward said, answering his wife. "I told you we should get married in spring for a reason. This was why."

Whipping around, Bella turned to see he was deadly serious.

He'd thought this far into things?

Lip wobbling, Bella walked towards Edward and buried her face in his neck.

"I don't deserve you. Even our honeymoon is to make me happy. You're like the cuter version of Buddha."

Edward laughed.

"My grandfather, who loves you more than he loves me, would kick you if he heard you compare me to something non-Catholic."

Bella giggled, knowing how true his words were. Grandpa Cullen was a hardcore Bella fan, but he was also Irish Catholic.

"Alright, alright. Like a hotter Jesus," Bella said, laughing when Edward grabbed her by the waist and threw her down on the bed. The very soft bed; this was the nicest hotel they'd be staying in. Japan was expensive as hell, and the only reason they were here was because everyone had insisted their first night as a married couple should be spent in luxury.

"How about, you just say I'm hot and call it a day?"

Bella pretended to think about it.

"Honestly, the only reason we're not in Korea is because I figured it'd be awkward if I spent our honeymoon chasing after K-pop boy bands. So like you're hot, but not k-pop-boy-band-member hot."

Edward groaned, lying down on top of his wife.

"You torture me. So much." Edward rolled away so he was shoulder-to-shoulder with her. "So, what do you say? Missionary?"

Bella laughed until she couldn't breathe.

"You're so… _not_ romantic." Bella couldn't believe he'd asked her about what position she wanted for their first time, but she supposed it was nice he'd asked. It was so him.

"Hey," Edward suddenly said, losing a bit of the smile he'd had while watching her laugh at him. "Are you… ok with this?"

"Ok with what?" Bella frowned, not understanding. Japan? Missionary?

"The wedding, getting married. You're not gonna wake up tomorrow and tell me we could've done without it?"

Bella rolled her eyes. Silly man.

"A little late for cold feet, Mr. Cullen. And no, I'm not. I'll wake up happier than I am now because I'm in my dream holiday with my dream man. Life hardly gets any better than this."

He smiled, because somehow Bella always knew what to say to calm his anxiety.

Relieved, he turned to face her.

She turned her head too.

"So, missionary? Or should we get frisky?"

Bella thought about it far more seriously than she should have.

"I'm feeling like both."

"So, sex against the window?" Edward wiggled his eyebrows. That idea was shut down quickly.

"Absolutely not. I said frisky, not risky. Imagine someone looks up? Or worse, takes a picture? I'd die, and then I'd have to kill you."

Edward laughed. That was true. Bella wasn't the type who liked doing risky things —he'd try to finger her once under the table and she'd gripped his hand so tightly that it ached two days after. And then another time he'd suggested doing it in his dad's office, which had meant she'd withheld sex for two weeks. So she was open to a lot of things, but never outside of four walls with a vision in or outside.

While he'd thought about this, Bella had started singing softly Etta James' At Last, the song they'd danced to for the first time as husband and wife. Bella had tried convincing him of letting her play a Jonas Brothers song (they'd reunited a few weeks before their wedding), but Edward even in his infinite love for her had sworn he'd make her get up and run every morning for the rest of their lives if she had that as their first dance. So, she'd stopped pushing.

"At last my love has come along, my lonely days are over and life is like a song…"

And even though she was terribly off-pitch, was still has tone-deaf as the day he'd met her, he was charmed. She was singing it to him —for him.

Leaning closer, he kissed her.

"I love you, Mrs. Cullen," he murmured, overcome by warmth and happiness and so much love he was surprised he could even still feel this way. They'd been together all of their adult life — six years in August, a month before Bella turned twenty-five— and a part of him felt like his love should've mellowed out. It should've been something he remembered every once in a while, how much he loved the woman he'd chosen to spend the rest of his life with. Instead he felt like every time he saw her he still got a little shock. Sex was never dull and the pleasure they both got never faded. Perhaps it had to do with how conscious they were of the easiness with which they could forget they loved each other. It was easy to forget you were in love with someone you were comfortable with; the two spent a lot of time going out (hiking, the movies, museums and the like) in order to remember that everything wasn't about sleeping or fucking the day away, however tempting it might seem.

"I love you too, husband," Bella whispered. "So much. I used to be so scared when I thought of how much I loved you, and I think what I'm most proud of myself about is that I didn't bolt within three months of dating. I'm glad you held onto me, and I'm so happy you convinced me of this marriage business."

Edward felt like he might as well make a confession.

"You remember that day Mike took me to Denny's?" Edward asked, and Bella instantly nodded. "You were the image of an icicle. I remember thinking that you had this wall up, impenetrable and a hundred feet tall, and wondering who would be able to knock it down. And, if I can be honest, I also remember being surprised by how good you made the Denny's uniform look. So what I'm trying to say is, I think that wall wasn't so high, and it certainly wasn't as hard to tumble down as I'd thought."

Bella grinned.

"And also that I looked hot right?"

Edward laughed.

"That too."

He kissed her again, and this time they didn't talk again. Neither could, neither wanted to.

Piece by piece their clothes came off. They had an unhurried pace, both unburdened by time or need. They had all the time in the world, and their need for each other was always great. A few moments wouldn't make a difference.

Foreplay was brief, neither needing much encouragement for the moment.

"Ready?" Edward asked, lying on top of Bella to take her in —surprise— missionary. He was at her entrance ready to push in.

"Yes. I love you."

Saying he loved her too, he pressed forward and buried himself inside of her.

Neither could say how long they kept up the slow pace. Bella had her ankles locked behind his ass, helping him push in every time he pulled out. Every time Edward felt he was close to coming he'd lock his dick in place, take a few deep breaths and then resume. He wanted their first time to be dragged out as long as possible. In, out, push, pull. He felt at home inside of Bella, felt like nothing mattered so long as he could be inside her. Feeling her warmth, her wetness, her tightness.

"Come for me," Bella whispered, clenching her muscles. She couldn't even count how many times she'd come already, knowing that Edward wanted her longer and that she'd only be too happy to comply.

"I…" Edward shuddered, and thrusting twice more, emptied inside of her.

Both breathed in deep, smelling sex in the air. Silently, Edward laid another kiss on Bella and then rested his weight on her, keeping himself locked inside. Wanting to rest, but also not wanting to crush his wife (heh) he flipped them so instead Bella was lying on top of him, her head tucked beneath his chin.

"I'm so glad I wasn't on my period for our wedding night," Bella suddenly said, making Edward burst out laughing. It was entirely possible that could have been an option, but to be truthful the couple had tried to plan around it.

"I'm glad too. I love you, but blood and I don't get along."

Understatement. Bella had broken a finger the first few months of doing her master's while she'd been with Edward, and _he'd_ fainted. So she'd had to wait for him to wake up so they could drive to the hospital, hiding from him the broken finger so he wouldn't pass out while driving.

Laughing, Bella burrowed closer into her husband. She'd been planning for a lot of wild sex, but suddenly she was only too aware of how long the day and the flight had been.

"I think I'm gonna sleep…" Bella murmured, and chuckling, Edward flipped them so instead they were spooning.

"Go to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up."

Her eyes fell shut, and it didn't take long until Edward followed suit.

* * *

20 years later

* * *

"Hey Em, a little hand or something?" Bella snapped at her best friend, who was all too busy taking pictures of her struggling. Like she needed the reminder that she was weak as hell.

"I'll help you with that," a smooth voice said beside her, and smiling, Bella let Nathan McCarty take the box away from her.

"Thanks, Nate. Have I told you I like you a lot better than you ass of a father?" Bella asked, knowing the answer to that.

"Only every time we see each other," Nathan laughed, blushing. Laughing, Bella returned to taking out another box as Nathan took the box to the living room.

"You know it's very disturbing that you have a crush on my mother, right?" A voice whispered behind him, and spooked, Nathan turned around with a pounding heart to find Alyssa Cullen.

 _Lissa_ , Nathan's mind hissed.

Alyssa Cullen was the bane of Nathan's existence. She was a seventeen year old high school student who spend way too much time annoying him whenever they met. She was captain of the cheerleading squad, so as the athletically-challenged man he was, it was Nathan's duty to abhor everything she stood for. Emmett might've been a football player in high school, but that was as far as his relationship to sports went. Nathan had been part of the chess club in high school, and the chess tournaments was the only time where his heartbeat sped up (and when going up stairs). Not to mention, Lissa was _mean_. Worse still, only to him. She was daddy's little girl, Emmett doted on her and Bella thought she'd hung the moon and stars.

"What's it to you?" Nathan gave the redhead the stink eye. Clasping her hands behind her skirt, she shrugged.

"Nothing. Just thought you should know your father probably has a better shot with mom than you do." Lissa cocked her head to the side. "I mean, that's assuming my dad would ever let mom out of his sight."

Nathan scowled. Edward Cullen was the dorkiest guy he knew, but also his biggest rival. Every time he saw the old guy he'd be wearing a stupid ass shirt and Converse as if he was't a forty-five year old dude. To make matters worse, Edward always treated him as a kid even though he was twenty-two. To make things doubly worse? Bella (his godmother and love of his existence) never looked at anybody else, and Edward always gravitated around her. Besides, Nathan doubted something would ever happen between his father and Bella —those two fought like kids despite their age.

"Again, what's it to you, brat? Why're you a picking a fight with me so early in the morning?"

Lissa shrugged again.

"I'm bored."

He glared at her.

"You could try helping your family unpack."

Lissa pretended to consider it.

"N—"

"Lissa! Stop playing hooky and get your butt over here so we can finish early!" Bella called from the moving truck.

Sighing, Lissa gave Nathan a look.

"Smell ya later, McCarty."

Nathan glared after the eldest Cullen, feeling like he _should_ be able to hit girls. Annoying girls he'd known nearly all his life.

He felt someone tap his waist, and looking down, he found the youngest Cullen.

"You shouldn't hit girls, Nate," Joseph Cullen reminded the college student, curly brown hair falling over his brown eyes. Nathan raised an eyebrow in silent question, and the eight-year-old elaborated. "You said you should be able to hit girls. You shouldn't. Also, dad would tackle you if you touched Lis."

That was true.

Edward Cullen was wrapped around his children's little fingers.

"I won't hit Lissa, but I sure want to," Nathan sighed, ruffling Joe's hair. "Where's Val and Adam?"

Valerie and Adam Cullen where the fourteen-year-old twins; they were always getting in trouble, so keeping an eye on them was of utmost importance.

"I think they're with Aunt Rose," Joe said, and was about to say something else when Edward and Emmett came down the stairs.

"Joe, why aren't you with mom? She needs help with all of your toy boxes," Edward reminded his youngest son, who upon hearing of someone handling his treasure, ran out of the house and to the moving truck.

Chuckling, Edward came to a stop in front of Nathan.

"Nate, thanks so much for helping us out. I know this isn't the best way to spend a Saturday just a few weeks after graduating from college, but thanks anyway."

Nathan had graduated in Chemical Engineering, and in the fall he'd be getting his master's. Like his father, he was gifted with numbers.

"It's fine, Uncle Edward. I'm here for the dinner anyway," he joked, referring to the monstrous dinners Bella could whip up.

Nodding, Edward clapped Nathan's back lightly.

"I'm glad. That way there won't be leftovers," he said, and was about to say something else when he remembered seeing him with his daughter. "Also, sorry about Lis. I think she has a little too much fun at your expense, so don't pay her any mind."

Paling a little, wondering how much Edward had heard, he simply nodded. Grinning, Edward walked out to the moving truck.

Bella was handing over a box to Emmett when she noticed him coming out.

"Hey! Did you find Val and Adam?" Bella asked, making her husband stop suddenly. Shit. "You forgot why you went in, didn't you?"

Grinning sheepishly, Edward stepped into the moving truck to be eye level with his wife. Placing a hand on her waist, he pulled her closer to give her a kiss.

"I got distracted," Edward said, unwilling to admit he'd gotten a work call and had been taking care of it. She wouldn't be happy since he'd promised to shut off his phone for the day.

"I got distracted my ass. Come on, help me with this box."

After half an hour of nonstop bringing in boxes, a bright red Camaro pulled into their driveway. Seth stepped out of it, a radiant smile aimed Bella's way when he caught sight of her.

"Bell! Edward!" Seth called happily, then saw a bunch of heads poke out from inside the truck.

"Uncle Seth!" Valerie and Adam suddenly ran out of the house, having seen their uncle's car arrive.

"Val! Adam!" Seth let the twins barrel into him, grateful that he was still the cool uncle. "How are my favorite troublemakers doing?"

Eyes shining brightly, they started rambling about something when suddenly they felt someone latch onto their ears.

"Now, where have my pair of teenagers been hiding all this time?" Bella wondered, then turned a blinding smile to her brother-in-law. "Seth. Thanks for coming to help."

He gave her a wink.

"You kidding? My only brother and his family are finally coming back to live in Arizona after twenty years. I'm psyched."

It had taken them a while to get here, but Bella and Edward were glad they managed to move back to Phoenix. They loved Sacramento —their children had grown up there— but their closest friends and family still lived here. Carlisle and Esme still lived in their old home, and even though Renée and Phil now lived in Florida, they still owned their old house. Seth still called Phoenix home even though he was always traveling; he became a professional photographer, so it came with the job. He'd never settled down, either, though he fathered a daughter with one of his many conquests —Kelsey was five years old and absolutely adorable. This had forced him to remain closer to home, though he hadn't established a relationship with Kelsey's mother. He got her on the weekends and on holidays, and he seemed happy with the arrangement.

Emmett and Rose never left Phoenix, and they'd made due with Nathan, stating they were happy with just one kid. Angela and Ben got married a year before Edward and Bella, and their son was Alyssa's age. Hank Cheney was actually pretty close to Lissa; even if Bella was only just moving back to Arizona she'd never lost contact with her friends, so Hank and Lissa would hang out every time they got together. Jake and Vanessa had called it quits for a few years, and when they got back together they got married —Ryan Black was thirteen and had been born the day after the wedding. Their youngest, Raymond Black, was nine —he and Joe couldn't stand each other, much to Jake and Edward's dismay. As for Alice and Jasper… they got married, but they never had kids. Alice didn't want any, and Jasper hadn't wanted them that bad; they'd remained in New York, so sadly enough the Cullen kids didn't have much of a relationship with them. Nathan did, but only because he saw them in every family reunion.

Charlie had unfortunately been unable to meet Joe. He'd died before Bella was even pregnant with her youngest; apparently, he'd eaten a little too often at the diner and forgotten about taking care of his health. He'd seemed healthy as a horse, and then a heart attack took him; Bella had a hard time recovering from that blow. Despite everything, she'd loved her father. She'd gone back to Forks for the first time in over a decade to bury him. Leah had disappeared for good and Sam had remained in the reservation, so she knew there wasn't any danger of running into any of them. Sue had been heartbroken of course; she'd been widowed twice, and once had to be enough for anyone. All Bella could do was promise Sue they'd still meet each other, and so they had; Sue loved her kids like crazy, and to be honest Bella was sure they liked her better than they liked Renée.

Now, Edward and Bella were finally back for good. Edward was opening his own architecture firm in Phoenix, putting all of the years of experience and gaining contacts in Sacramento to use. The children had actually been quite on board with the idea —they liked being close to their family, and they all were adaptable. Alyssa was the one who was having the hardest time since she'd be doing her senior year of high school in a different place, but she was excited to get out of the horrible traffic that plagued the West coast and getting to know new people. She had confidence in her people skills, _and_ she felt better knowing that Hank would be there. Valerie and Adam were only glad they could start over in high school —they had a bit of a reputation in their middle school as troublemakers. They'd only pranked a teacher _once_ , and it was April's fools! What else were they supposed to do? Send flowers? As for Joe, he was the friendliest of the bunch —everyone knew he'd do well no matter where he went.

"So?" Bella asked her kids, returning to the matter at hand. "Where were you?"

"Um, with Aunt Rose," Adam said. "We were—"

"Hiding out!" Joe interrupted, never missing a chance to screw over his siblings.

"Joe, you tattle-tale!" Valerie scowled, green eyes glaring at her annoying little brother. "You're never playing with us again."

Ignoring her, Joe ran into his uncle's arms, wanting to be swung around like always. He didn't pay the twins any mind; they were always threatening him and they never came through with anything.

"Munchkin! I've missed you, little man," Seth said, blowing a raspberry on the kid's cheek. He loved all of his brother's children equally, but Joe was the most attached to him. As such, he spent a lot of time entertaining the youngest one.

"Uncle Seth, can I see the pictures of the rhinos?" Joe asked, knowing already what the answer would be. Seth winked, putting the kid down.

"Of course, but not right now. I'm still missing one Cullen kid, and then I've got to help your parents unload the truck."

Pouting, Joe let his uncle go; not fair.

Leaving the trio to their mother, Seth went to find his niece. He had to admit the house was a work of art; his brother was a talented architect, and he rather liked how the house was planned. It had a lot of windows, but most of them were facing the East so the worst of the sun wouldn't hit them. He knew Edward had put a lot of thought into making a heat-friendly house, though he wasn't really sure how he'd done it.

He found Alyssa in her new room rearranging boxes.

"Hey Lis," Seth knocked on the door, and whipping around, the cheerleader ran to jump into her uncle's arms.

"Uncle Seth! Hi! I thought you'd be getting here a little later," Alyssa admitted, smacking a kiss on his cheek. "How are you?"

She pulled back, noticing that his uncle was looking her from head to toe in admiration. She grinned, striking a pose.

"I'm good, kid. And _you_ look beautiful. I mean, you look just like your mother but with your dad's coloring. You might just be even more beautiful than your mother was at your age," Seth guessed, making Alyssa laugh.

"Everyone's always so hung up with how beautiful my mom is," Alyssa rolled her eyes. "You too?"

Seth pretended to be surprised by the question.

"Me? Baby girl, everywhere your mother went pretty much all boys had a crush on her. I was no exception. Then she started dating your dad and, well, I've been waiting for her call since," Seth joked, laughing when Alyssa made a disgusted grunt.

"You know dad would break your camera if he heard you say that," Alyssa pointed out, something which was entirely too true. Edward had declared himself done with people lusting over his wife many years ago and now threatened bodily harm to anyone who dared speak of it.

"Don't tell my brother."

Alyssa sighed.

"What's wrong, Lis?" Seth asked, thinking it was odd for the teenager to have a troubled look.

"Promise not to tell anyone?" Lis asked, and he nodded immediately. The only way he'd break his promise was if his niece was in danger. Accepting his sincerity, Alyssa went to her bedroom door and closed it.

"What's up?" This seemed serious, Seth thought, and like something he wasn't prepared for.

"Nathan still has a crush on mom," Alyssa scowled, thinking back to their conversation. "I think all he sees me as is some dumb cheerleader, too."

Seth's eyebrows shot up.

"You still like Nathan?" Seth whisper-yelled, and flushing, Alyssa nodded. "Why? He's as moody as college students get."

Alyssa couldn't deny that.

"I don't know. He used to be nice to me when we were younger, but ever since I grew boobs he stopped talking to me like I have more than two brain cells," Alyssa frowned, upset. "I'm not stupid, am I?"

Seth was bewildered by the question.

"Lis, you're so smart it's a wonder you're my brother's daughter. I mean, Edward was never bad at school or anything but he never had a 4.0 GPA like you do, nor was he as gifted in piano as you are. Don't you dare think you're less than you are, and what you are is an amazing girl who'll get as far as she wants to."

Alyssa smiled, thankful she had such a cool uncle.

"Thanks, Uncle Seth."

He hugged her.

"As for the matter of crushing on your mom… It'll blow over. Edward would kill Nate if he ever touched Bella, and Bella would die before ever looking at Nate. Not to mention, Bella thinks of Nathan as an extension of Emmett, and nothing happened between them in who knows how many years of knowing each other. I mean, without even mentioning how ridiculous it would be for a forty-three year old to even want a twenty-two year old brat she saw in diapers. Nate just needs to realize his crush has nowhere to go."

Which was true, Alyssa guessed, but it didn't make her feel much better. She'd liked Nathan McCarty ever since he'd picked her up after sneaking into a bar two years ago and the night had gone wrong —she hadn't wanted to call her dad, feeling like her skimpy outfit would make him pass out, and her mother hadn't picked up. She hadn't had a problem with admitting to her parents she'd sneaked into a bar (they weren't the type to punish her for that, although they might've for lying), but mostly she hadn't wanted her parents to see her crying. A guy had tried feeling her up and a friend of Hank's had defended her, but the confrontation had gotten ugly. So when she'd called Nate and he'd gone to pick her up in record time, she'd felt for the first time what it was like to be cared for outside of her family. He'd been angry, and worried, and he'd let her crash in his dorm after calling to tell her dad she'd be sleeping in his place.

The problem was, Alyssa wasn't cute. She was flirty, and confident, and she was assertive —but she wasn't the type that could bat her lashes at a guy she truly liked. And _oh_ , how she liked Nathan. Enough that she didn't care he liked her mother, though that would've been enough of a turn-off if he'd been anyone else. Enough that every time they saw each other she teased him, not knowing what to talk to him about. Enough that here she was, on moving day, wearing a skirt and a tank top even though her thighs were sticking together because of the sweat and she had to keep pulling up the shirt. She was even wearing makeup even though she didn't care much for it.

Sometimes, she really resented her mom —Alyssa wanted to hate her for being so beautiful, for capturing hearts so easily, but… She honestly got what everyone else saw. Her mom wasn't only beautiful on the outside, she had a heart of gold to match. Mom was the closest person to her; she always listened to what she had to say and was absolutely always on her side. Even though everyone knew her in school as the cool cheerleader, her closest friends had always known Alyssa was a family girl. She enjoyed hanging out with her family; the weekends were usually reserved for watching a movie in their parents' bedroom. She'd once caught someone trying to corner Valerie, who was a little socially awkward, and she'd scared everyone within a half mile radius. Joe was a fan of insects, so Lissa spent Sunday mornings catching critters with him before tapping out. And Adam loved drawing, so Lissa usually drove him to new places every week so he could have new things to sketch; she'd take something to study or read and would let her brother draw as long as he wanted. Sometimes Val would go with them and the two girls would talk about anything and everything. And Lissa loved her dad, even if she thought he wasn't _as_ cool as mom; she could always rely on him, and she'd grown up going to sleep hearing him play the piano. Thanks to him she loved the instrument as well and planned to become a singer-songwriter. She remembered the family had struggled financially when she was a kid, but happiness and unconditional love were things she'd never lacked. Her parents had seen to that.

Thinking of how much she loved her family, Lissa hugged her uncle again.

"Thanks, Uncle Seth. You're right. I should also go see if they need more help."

Smiling, Seth swung an arm over his niece's shoulders and walked with her down the stairs.

"You're gonna do great things, kid. If that kid can't see it, it's his loss," Seth said, kissing the side of her head. He was about to say something else when he noticed Emmett was chugging down a beer. "Dude! Not cool, you should offer some!"

"Fuck o— ouch, Rosie!" Emmett whined, holding the back of his head. "You made me spill."

"I've told you to watch your language in front of the kids," Rose pointed to Alyssa and Joe, who'd manifested in the living room.

"Lissa knows me, doesn't she?" Em winked at his goddaughter. "She knows it's all in good fun."

Alyssa laughed.

"You're putting me on the spot, Uncle Em." She felt a little body hug her and looked down to see it was Joe looking up at her with his doe eyes. "What's up Joey?"

He blinked innocently.

"Give me a piggyback ride?"

Rolling her eyes, Alyssa bent down so her little brother could climb up.

"Where to, your highness?" Alyssa asked, putting her arms below his knees. He bounced up and down.

"The truck!"

Jogging ahead, Alyssa followed her little brother's orders, coming to a stop in front of the U-Haul.

"Mom? Someone's here to see you," Alyssa called out, and Bella emerged from the shadows to see what was up. "Hi."

Bella smiled back.

"Hi, my little hoodlums. What's up? Did you come back to help?"

Alyssa nodded, but Joe scrambled down quick and disappeared to the back of the house. The two women laughed.

"He's good at running away from helping out," Bella observed, not that she minded. He was eight, so the moving business was too tiresome for him anyway. She'd get him to start with unpacking his room, she supposed.

Lissa went up inside the truck, and she went straight to hugging her mother tight. Already Alyssa had two inches on Bella, so Bella's arms went around her daughter's waist while Alyssa's around her mother's neck.

"What's up, baby?"

Alyssa sighed.

"I just love you mom. It's no wonder dad has so many rivals."

Bella laughed, hugging her daughter tightly.

"I'll have you know I've known of a woman or two who've thought they could take your father away from me. So you're stuck with two awesome parents," Bella chuckled, resting her chin on her daughter's shoulder. She rubbed her back up and down. "Are you ok, Lis?"

Alyssa thought for a moment before nodding.

"I am. Just… feeling a little gloomy."

Pursing her lips, Bella released her daughter and sat down against one of the walls of the truck. She patted the spot between her legs, and rolling her eyes but grinning, Alyssa sat down. She leaned back into her mother, who wound her arms around her.

"Tell me what's up," Bella said, glad her daughter always let her hold her this way. Alyssa wasn't at all self-conscious; she was always asking her mom to pick her up from school, and it never mattered how many people were around Alyssa always hugged and kissed her parents hello. Bella hadn't cared what people thought, either, at her age —but she'd never have been so close to Renée. She was glad this was her daughter though.

"I'm nervous about school," Alyssa admitted. "I mean, I know it's a few months away, but it feels like it's too soon. And I'm… frustrated. I still can't say anything nice to Nate."

Bella knew of her daughter's feelings for Nathan — _everyone_ but the kid himself knew. Emmett and Bella had already started saving for the celebration party they'd have when Nate got his head out of his ass. They knew he had to; Alyssa would be the best thing to happen to his moody (but likable) ass ever.

"Well, as for school… I don't really know what to tell you baby. Nobody knows what the future holds. I think you'll do better than fine; you're much better at making friends than your dad and I ever were, and neither of us lacked friends. Worst case scenario, you've got Hank already, so you won't be facing this alone. And you'll be working this summer at the Barnes and Noble, so hopefully you'll get to meet future classmates of yours." Bella sighed, looking straight ahead. "As for Nathan…"

She struggled to find the right thing to say for a moment, then continued.

"I think it's a matter of when he'll be aware you're a woman worth looking at. I'm sure Uncle Seth has told you of how he used to have this crush on me in middle school, right?" Alyssa nodded. "The first time your dad introduced us Seth was fifteen, so to me he was a little kid. He still is, in a way. But when you're in your twenties and you meet someone in their teens, all you can think about is how young and innocent they are. I think, if you give him time and let him know who you are… things could change. Women tend to grow up fast, and sometimes men catch up a little slower. He needs to finish growing up to realize he's not as mature as he thinks he is, and that you're not a brat like he thought."

Lis laughed.

"But you just admitted Uncle Seth was a kid to you."

"Yes, but he was around your age when thanks to him I pulled my head out of my ass and went running back to your father."

Shocked, Alyssa turned to look at her mother.

"You broke up with _dad_?"

How come nobody told her these things? What was next? Uncle Emmett had dated Alice?

"Well, yes," Bella laughed, not sounding repentant at all. "We both needed to pull our head out of our asses. He was in a bad spot emotionally, and I wasn't in a good enough place to help him. It was too much. Your uncle though, he reminded me of what was important. Ever since then I never thought of him as a gullible kid. But, you know, he's still my husband's little brother, so that was as far as it got."

Alyssa sighed, turning back around.

"It's so weird to think you and dad had lives before us. Even weirder when dad says he used to be a geek and you were the most popular girl in school. All of those old Hollywood movies make it seem like it was a rule for that kind of thing not to happen, and that if it did, it was some huge thing that rocked the whole social structure."

Bella giggled.

"Yeah well, the rules don't apply to us, do they? I crushed on your dad hard and he made me the honor of liking me. And he was far cooler than I was, really. I just lucked out."

Alyssa rolled her eyes.

Her parents were so head over heels in love with each other it was weird sometimes.

Bella kissed the back of her daughter's head, squeezed and let her go.

"Now go help your uncle bring in the last boxes. We're nearly done with the first part."

Nodding, Alyssa left to go find her uncle. She felt lighter, something that usually happened after she had a heart to heart with her mother. She didn't see one Nathan McCarty watching her from the distance, thoughtful.

 _She might be a brat, but she's nice to her family. Plus, she might be a little cuter than Bella. A little. Not enough to compensate for being a pain in my ass, but still. She's got potential._

He went back to transferring boxes inside the new house.

Having witnessed the mother-daughter moment, Edward got up on the moving truck and went to the back (front?) to find his wife. She was resting behind a stack of boxes, probably trying to escape people for a moment or two.

He slid down beside her.

"Everything ok with Lis?"

Bella nodded.

"She's worried about school and Nate. I did my best, but I don't know if I said the right thing."

Edward rolled his eyes.

"I know you love. Even if you didn't, Lis won't hold it against you —she knows you only have her happiness in mind." He opened his arms, silently telling his wife to crawl into his lap. Happily, she did so, laying her legs across his.

"I feel so lucky that all of our children talk to us. I wouldn't have known what to do if they'd been as stoic with me as I'd been with my parents."

Smiling, Edward tilted her head up so he could see her eyes.

"I told you I'd help you make the family you always wanted, didn't I?" Edward gave her a tender grin that spoke volumes of his love for her. "We helped each other grow, didn't we. And we're doing the same for our children."

Sentimental, Bella let a couple of tears slip. She still wasn't a cryer like Edward, but with every year that passed she found herself able to cry more freely. It was nice.

"I'm so glad you convinced me of all this. I love calling you my husband, and those four kids are in every breath I take. I know we've fucked up a few times in this parenting business, but I'm so thankful it's you I've fucked up with."

Edward leaned in and kissed her. His heart still beat like crazy any time his wife was cheesy —the years had made them more comfortable, but they still did little things that drove the other the best kind of crazy. Edward's thing was Bella being cheesy. Bella's was when Edward suited up and gave her a personal piano concert.

"There's something I forgot to tell you," Edward said.

Leaning back, Bella raised an eyebrow.

"What?"

He gave her a shit-eating grin.

"The walls for our bedroom are soundproof."

The meaning dawning on her, Bella's grin mirrored his.

"If I weren't already married to you, I'd marry you again."

Snorting, Edward hugged his wife tight.

"Me too, even if you _did_ name 75% of our children after the Jonas Brothers."

Edward hadn't known, back when he'd agreed to the names. Only until Joe was born was he made aware; Valerie was a variation of one the brother's daughter's name, and apparently Adam was the middle name of one of the band members. Bella played her cards right by not making it too obvious, but when she latched onto the name Joseph for their youngest... he should've suspected. It was his fault he hadn't.

Bella shrugged sheepishly; she regretted nothing.

"Hey, stupid couple! Stop flirting and help us finish up!" Rose called out from somewhere outside.

Laughing, Edward and Bella stood up.

"Make us!" Bella challenged, emerging from behind the stack of boxes hand in hand with Edward.

They went to stand at the edge of the U-Haul.

All of their kids were gathered at the bottom in different stances of exasperation, and everyone else started tricking into the front yard.

Teasing, Edward turned to his wife.

"Oh Bella, how I love you!" He said dramatically, letting go of her hand to instead hold her cheeks. Bella followed suit.

"Oh husband, how I love you too!"

Four pairs of kids, one young adult, an uncle and two parents scrunched their faces up as they watched a Mr. and Mrs. Cullen kiss each other. To show their displeasure, they all chorused one word.

" _Ew_!"

The end.

* * *

 **So, this is the end. What a wild ride. I hurried to make the epilogue so I could at least finish this story by March. I also nearly forgot to write in the reasoning behind the kids' names, so boy am I glad I remembered that in time. This was a very interesting story to write. You know what was funnier still? Yesterday I went with some friends to karaoke, and I was talking to one of them on the ride there (we Uber'd together). He recently went through a breakup which was rough (they dated for three years); she's half Japanese and he's Mexican, and she takes after her dad in the emotionally-dry department. So he needed someone to unburden himself with (he was going through a lot) and she couldn't respond in kind, unable to understand he couldn't keep his troubles to himself even though to her that was the norm. So basically, he had a rough semester and no help. Neither could take it, they broke up. Now, my friend has been taking the last few months to himself and repairing his wounds. Yesterday, we were talking and he told me there was a girl he was interested in that he wouldn't have looked at six months ago.**

 **"She's out of my league," he said. "She's awesome and really pretty."**

 **And I thought of all I wrote here, and I asked him. "And what are you, an ogre?"** **But we were arriving to the restaurant so I didn't say much more. He's a sweet guy, and he looks a lot like Seth Rogen; not bad looking at all. (I also have a hard time giving compliments so I didn't outright say he was handsome) So then we were eating, and a friend of ours arrived, so he was telling her some part of the stories again. Again, he said the girl was out of his league six months ago. Our friend and I disagreed.**

 **"This is real life, not a Hollywood movie," I told him.**

 **"There's no such thing as out of your league," she said.**

 **"What's the difference with six months ago?" I asked.**

 **"Fifteen kilograms," he replied. (Like thirty-five pounds for my US readers)**

 **Baffled, I frowned. Did he really think his weight was tied to anything? His ex was a pretty girl and he'd always been overweight.**

 **"So, what? Are you a different person now? Are you funnier or something?"** **His jokes suck, which is why it's the first thing I thought about. But he likes his jokes, which is adorable.**

 **"No, but I feel better now."**

 **"Ah," my girl friend said. "That's a whole other matter. Being in a better place emotionally _does_ make a difference."**

 **"All people want is to be happy," I told him. "And everyone can sense if they're with someone who's not. Happiness is very attractive."**

 **So yeah, this was more or less our interaction. It made me realize how badly some people need to hear this: there's no such thing as out of your league. If you need to lose or gain weight, it's not because it'll make you hotter but because it'll help your health and it's something you're doing to feel better with yourself. Liking yourself is essential, both for starting and keeping a happy relationship. I hope, if nothing else, you leave with this.**

 **Leah.**

 **P. S. Thank you SO much to everyone. All my reviewers, everyone who followed and favorited this story. This story has overflowed with niceness and I can't even begin to say how much that means to me. I hope we see each other again soon.**


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